How to be cold.

[Nine Toes]

How do some people in this world just... not care?

How do you turn and walk away from someone when you realize that they're no good for you? How do you go about putting them behind you, and make yourself never look back, or concern yourself with their affairs ever again?  What if this is somebody who you will not be able to escape completely?  What if you will still have to deal with them regularly?

What if you absolutely cannot talk to this person and have them understand you at all?

[ThreeOhFour]

Something you're dealing with perhaps?

I like to try for honesty, although sometimes it can be hard. Tell them how you feel, I guess.

Easier said than done, I guess, especially if they won't listen.

[Nine Toes]

I like to try for honesty, although sometimes it can be hard. Tell them how you feel, I guess.

Easier said than done, I guess, especially if they won't listen.

I'm not sure if it's that they won't listen, or they just don't care what I think?  Sometimes I even believe that they're in complete denial about the situation.

[Nacho]

I would like to help, but, even understandig your will of "not revealing it all" and be discreet, I don't think we can really help if you don' t get a bit more info. Who is not good for you, and why? Wife? Friends? Work buddies?

Anyway, you have all my support and my msn adress if you need something I can do.

[evenwolf]

How do you turn and walk away from someone when you realize that they're no good for you? How do you go about putting them behind you, and make yourself never look back, or concern yourself with their affairs ever again? 

My mom divorced my step dad and I've never seen him since.   Sometimes I wonder what he's up to but a part of me says "screw him.  he was an asshole."   

Most of the time I have trouble NOT empathizing with people.   But since I moved around a lot as a kid unfortunately I got used to saying goodbye to people.... to the point where I never truly mastered the art of saying hello.

[Nikolas]

Oh man...

If this is what I think it is... Oh man.

Depends on what you leave behind and what you want to do with the 'remaining connection' between you two.

Usually what you describe is the reason why it's not a good idea to form a relationship with a coleague. When the relationship is over it sucks and in the end of the line probably one of the two need to leave.

Now, the "cannot understand you at all", seems a bit strange. I think that the 'mentality' of a person changes from day to night, for tired to rested, from good mood to bad mood. Between a fight, for example, in a relationship nobody will hear anything. With a better mood, maybe even dinner (no matter how cold hearted it must feel), then there are bigger chances of having them to listen actually. So good timing.

Other than that I can't be sure what we're talking about here so... whatever it is best of luck.

EDIT: Whoops...

[evenwolf]

I'm the only one who mentioned a step dad..   Uh.   Read more carefully.

[Nikolas]

You posted while I was posting, got the Warning message, check saw the quote from nine toes. It's not THAT impossible to get confused you know... (while replying avatars don't show).  :

[Emerald]

Couples break up. It's not the end of the world. And there's no such thing as a "one true love". Love is an emotion just like anything other -- chemicals and proteins acting on the brain. Saying "I'll never love like that again" is like saying "I'll never be angry like that again"...

(That's my advice based on my interpretation of what this 'thread' is about...)

[IndieBoy]

...and that is why Emerald will never experience love.

Nine Toes: People can be very arrogant at times, just you got to allow them to understand how you feel and you have to understand why they were arrogant in the first place.

[radiowaves]

I never went to kindergarten, so I spent my childhood at home mostly. Played with other children outside, but I always felt they were more like the friends of others and I was just hanging with them... Before school, I thought it is really hard in there and was a bit scared. When I went to first grade, however, it was complete surprise and total dissapointment also. Easier than I thought, but people there acted just too unnatural, I just couldn't understand how someone could be so selfish. And this went on until the end, I didn't get what was wrong with people, so I just got used to that and started transformation to be like them, shifting from one type of group to another. Now I still feel like before, but have gotten cold, cautious and bitter, too arrogant, perhaps.

One thing that has always bothered me, is that people often se whats wrong with other people, but they lack the ability to see what caused it, and even what caused the cause. Its a mistake of me, of course, because one simply can't see everything.

Its not that people are naturally cold, they just act like this because they might not know how to be otherwise. One thing is what you do, other thing is what you think. Although the fact is, people are very selfish. They might feel something when this person has given them something or reminded something so that sparked their emotions, but when they have nothing to gain, they just move on. Those who don't, become the tools of others.

Another thing that can be learned, is that nice and friendly people might often be cold at the end. And those who are actually very cold, may be like this, because they need defence because otherwise they would care too much.

The truth is, though, that everything is subjective and therefore nothing is one sided. So, even the thought that someone is arrogant, IS actually arrogance because it is blaming.

[fred]

Yes, well, I get that a lot - people think I'm arrogant. Actually I'm not, though, it just seems that way to less intelligent people.

[Khris]

...and that is why Emerald will never experience love.

Oh jeez.

OT:
Some people simply can't be talked to in a proper, normal way. I had to learn this the hard way, too.
Usually these people have experienced that they're inferior to others in situations that require logic and/or common sense (like discussions), so they do everything to avoid them; they don't want their lack of brain power to become obvious.
It's another one of those cases where a seemingly confusing fact can be explained with one word: stupidity.

[Babar]

Yes, well, I get that a lot - people think I'm arrogant. Actually I'm not, though, it just seems that way to less intelligent people.

Hahahahahahahhaha....I almost wish there was a way to give points to people on this forum.

I'm not cold, really. I just completely ignore people I dislike. As far as shutting oneself off from someone else, I've had to do it (or been too lazy not to not do it) many times, same reason as Evenwolf.

[radiowaves]

Thinking that someone is less intelligent than you and avoiding them because of that, placing yourself to a higher level, is indeed arrogance, selfishness and ignorance.

[Babar]

I believe (hope) that he was kidding. The lack of any smileys and such could throw someone off, but the backwards of Egad is dage.

[Oliwerko]

I try not to be cold. However, sometimes I am, intentionally. If people do bad things to me, their reputation in my head suddenly drops, and I subsequently behave unfriendly to them. I am like a mirror.

I try to be warm most of the time. Yeah, sometimes I think I am more intelligent, but that does not give me right to judge. I believe in 80% subjectivity in almost everything. That is, someone may seem dumb to me, but ingenious to someone else. But hey, I am a human being and I make an image of people in my mind. When I do not like someone, and it happens of course, I just cease contact with them. I do not like them - I do not contact them in any way - easy. This can be hard however when you are forced to interact with the person. But you always can ignore them to some extent.

It seems to myself I have a clear image of these things in my head and I am personally satisfied with the state of my mind.

[fred]

I believe (hope) that he was kidding. The lack of any smileys and such could through someone off, but the backwards of Egad is dage.

 

[Emerald]

I believe (hope) that he was kidding. The lack of any smileys and such could through someone off, but the backwards of Egad is dage.

 

How come nobody gets it when I do it?  :

(Ugh, I feel dirty all over now...)

[Oliwerko]

Isn't this a matter of the "Comedy" thread? 

Anyway, I have difficulties avoiding being silly when I make jokes in front of strangers. Thus I am not as jokey as I would have been between close friends. This makes making friends harder. Usually, my jokes are silly. They seem fun to me, maybe another few people I know, but that's all. And I am not so good with opportunity "conversation" jokes either. This fact may turn up the illusion of me being boring and cold person sometimes.

I still search for clue in this situation...