Blocked.
That's all I feel for almost 4 months already.
I waste countless hours sitting and looking at my monitor, not really doing anything. I mean, I'm kind of person who can find entertainment for myself even when locked up in a cage. I'm NEVER bored, unless I'm in really bad situation where I cannot even isolate and dive into my thoughts, like when sitting in a dentist's chair. But otherwise, I don't really know what boredom is.
And yet, I sit for 4 months, feeling desperate urge to do something, and yet cannot do a single thing. All games have been played, all movies watched, no interest in new ones and hundreds of projects waiting to be continued.
I open up AGS, 3ds Max, FruityLoops, ArtGem, Game Maker... I browse some of my unfinished pieces of art, game or music and listen/watch. I really like what I see and I really feel that I want to finish those.
But in few seconds, I hate them. I have zero inspiration and nothing goes right even if I try.
So it's endless loop of opening a file, modifying it, and closing without saving changes. Some of them, Like Henri (AGS game), some Game Maker games and many 3d projects are extremely near to completion and yet these bits and bytes stay unfinished. I hate this. I feel need to create, It's in my soul and veins, but can not actually do anything. Not anything I'm satisfied enough to release or even save.
Is there a cure?
I think that it happens to everyone, most of the time. I've had such bits of time myself. It just happens. Cure is to try and keep notes of all ideas coming. When the time is right and you're ripe and ready, you'll just start working again.
Too bad dude. There is a cure, do something else! Start drinking & sleeping around or something ;)
Seriously though just move on. You will eventually find something you enjoy so much you have to complete it. Took me a few years to chill out and work on just a couple of things.
It seems to me that what you're lacking is focus. Judged by your description you're working (or at least, intending to) on a dozen different projects. In essence, that enables you to push back every project because you're going to do another one first, which gets circular real fast.
What I would suggest? Organize your hard drive, if it isn't already, then make two directories: a small one that is "stuff you're working on NOW", and a big one that is "stuff you may get around to some time in the future". Promise yourself you will finish the NOW folder, and don't make any promises, even to yourself, abotu the future folder.
This gives you one or two things to actually work on. Have a makeshift list around of what things you still need to do for them, and whenever you're at your computer, start at one of those things. Even if it's only for half an hour before you get destracted. Many drops fill a bucket.
Quote from: InCreator on Tue 25/09/2007 06:43:53
Blocked.
That's all I feel for almost 4 months already.
I waste countless hours sitting and looking at my monitor, not really doing anything. I mean, I'm kind of person who can find entertainment for myself even when locked up in a cage. I'm NEVER bored, unless I'm in really bad situation where I cannot even isolate and dive into my thoughts, like when sitting in a dentist's chair. But otherwise, I don't really know what boredom is.
And yet, I sit for 4 months, feeling desperate urge to do something, and yet cannot do a single thing. All games have been played, all movies watched, no interest in new ones and hundreds of projects waiting to be continued.
I open up AGS, 3ds Max, FruityLoops, ArtGem, Game Maker... I browse some of my unfinished pieces of art, game or music and listen/watch. I really like what I see and I really feel that I want to finish those.
But in few seconds, I hate them. I have zero inspiration and nothing goes right even if I try.
So it's endless loop of opening a file, modifying it, and closing without saving changes. Some of them, Like Henri (AGS game), some Game Maker games and many 3d projects are extremely near to completion and yet these bits and bytes stay unfinished. I hate this. I feel need to create, It's in my soul and veins, but can not actually do anything. Not anything I'm satisfied enough to release or even save.
Is there a cure?
Ah, been there.
Go outside, breathe some air, meet loads of people! Maybe even a dream girlfriend awates there to solve all the problems :P
When I feel lousy, I take my bike and go to some place new. When I have returned home, I feel tired and relaxed at the same time, that feel that I have pumped my muscles and been somwehre what I enjoyed.
I had this more than once. Your description is exact explanation of that problem. I think everyone has this feeling from time to time. When I feel like this, I forget to do anything related to game-making. Because I should screw my work when working in this conditions. I do it only when I like doing it.
When I feel like this, I go out with friends, the bike idea is great, I do it often. Or I go to nature and just walk and listen to my mp3 player for hours. You need distraction from monotonic life....
When you find the cure, tell me about it. I've been feeling like that for over a year now. I thought it might have been because of a lack of things to do, but getting more stuff to do didn't help.
I think I have an idea, open photoshop/blender/ags/a notebook, spend about 20 minutes before getting frustrated and disgusted and closing it (without saving). I have a huge music collection (that I built up of songs specifically that I'd like to listen to), but now I get annoyed with it, and it all sounds jarring.
After all the advice, I stopped trying to 'create' for a while. Read lots of books. Watched lots of movies. Played a few games (although for the first time in a long time, I got irritated with a game almost through it and uninstalled it). I still haven't gotten back the inclination.
I occasionally get in a state like that... but it normally vanishes again pretty quickly. Also, loud, aggressive music helps. ;)
Well, I dont know about that agressive music. I listen to it normally, but during this periods, I dig up my old Louis Armstrong collections ;D
Perhaps the best thing to do for me when I feel like that is to go out with friends.
That helps a lot.
Hm... Although these suggestions sound like they're straight from modern psychology book and make sense in all mathematical forms of logic, they... don't work for me.
I *have* a dream girlfriend. We spend every day together now, and previously we've survived 5 years of long-distance relationship. I love her and I'm really happy with her.
Tallinn, capital of Estonia, isn't quite a place to bike. But then again, I don't have a bike nor time to ride it. Also, as narcotics-relate crime goes here, I would lose it to first junkie I meet. But that's not the point. Yes, summer was super nice, we went out to barbecue and took some trips and enough of nature to heavy fresh air poisoning. I've wasted most of my paycheck to going out lately, both with my girl and friends and -- everything, well, goes well.
Everything - but not what I tend to do behind closed doors, only a monitor providing light to my face and integral switches computing creative flows of human mind.
I watch movies. Take walks. Play games. Even download full seasons of TV series so I could excuse myself longer.
But during all this, I still feel like I own someone something. Myself! I'm like stealing this time from the time I need to be creating, finishing my projects. I feel guilty.
I like Radiant's advice. It might work. But then again, haven't I tried it enough already? I try all the time. Open, remember, try to modify, get angry, feel weak, quit. No saving changes. Even if I do save, next time I start with removing those last changes.
I sometimes have this strange idea that everything might be going too well.
It's sadness and desperation that often motivated me to create - my songs sound always like sad, piano-ridden hip-hop and my games have dark, serious theme, flavored with somewhat self-critical consolatory (comforting) black humor... Biggest projects were started at the point where I felt completely abandoned and useless, and their meaning was to left something memorable behind, should my life end at next minute... That even if I'm not useful to anyone, including myself any other way, atleast I provide music, or art, or a game... That as miserable thing as myself is able to contribute something to species living on this planet. This is what inspired, or should I rather say - motivated me to create. It's gone now.
Isn't that weird? It does make sense at some points but It's hard to believe.
And even if it's so, shouldn't positive emotions trigger even stronger creativity and quicker progress?
If so, how to "reverse" myself?
Take a risk. Fail horribly.
You can thank me later.
Tallin doesn't have places to ride? Omg, at that point, i wish I lived in Tallinn because there are tons of good places to ride your bike, like Pirita forest for example. And if you are such a wuss that you forget your bike somewhere for the junkie to take it, then you don't deserve anything, really. Go get yourself a bike. Biking is fun!
Btw when was the last time you went to movies? Why do you think computer is the answer to all solutions, maybe its the cause of it?
Raiowaves has some point. Try to forget to use computer for a while, maybe it helps. Grab a pencil and draw. Or anything else you like doing.
If I am bored, or something like that, I grab my lock with my picks and practice lockpicking, it drives bad things from my mind, it frees me up.
Have you ever read Somerset Maugham's The moon and sixpence?
But answer to the question,
I find help to boredom from low-budget travelling. Seeing different countries, people and cultures, and sleeping in tent at citypark,in sleeping bag at railway stations or in a forest middle-of-nowhere, eating cheapest but healthy food, jogging at places never seen before. After spending a month in such journey i feel like a completely new person.
If that doesnt help, sell your house and car, go to the nearest casino and put all the money to roulette :)
Quote from: mchammer on Tue 25/09/2007 21:37:27
Have you ever read Somerset Maugham's The moon and sixpence?
But answer to the question,
I find help to boredom from low-budget travelling. Seeing different countries, people and cultures, and sleeping in tent at citypark,in sleeping bag at railway stations or in a forest middle-of-nowhere, eating cheapest but healthy food, jogging at places never seen before. After spending a month in such journey i feel like a completely new person.
If that doesnt help, sell your house and car, go to the nearest casino and put all the money to roulette :)
Except from the last part, I am so definately going to to this! But how can you not fear being robbed in train stations?
Quote from: InCreator on Tue 25/09/2007 06:43:53
Is there a cure?
1. don't work on dozens of projects at once. pick
one and
focus all your energy on it.
2. stop being a perfectionist(this means a lot coming from me). you'll never be a 100% satisfied with what you do. Go for 90%.
3.
stop whining and get yourself together soldier! youre not the only one going through an inspirational drought. if nothing what has been said works for you maybe a good kick in the ass will. come on, we want to see what you've got! don't let us wait forever!
I do that all the time. Mostly just for a night or two, when I really need some space. I just tell my parents I'm staying at a friend and go rough it out bum-style. Sometimes with a friend or two.
It helps, a lot :D
I've mentioned this before but when my inspiration flags I go back to games and media that have inspired me to want to design games in the first place. This may or may not work for you but I find that rediscovering the reason why I wanted to design games in the first place is very helpful in giving me motivation to continue. Another thing you can do is find someone that's excited about your game and bounce builds off of them like I do with BOYD1981. Having someone that's really looking forward to what you're working on is an excellent motivator.
Quote from: radiowaves on Tue 25/09/2007 21:48:28
Except from the last part, I am so definately going to to this! But how can you not fear being robbed in train stations?
Stations witch are open 24/7 are usualy guarded guite well, and like i said, its
low-budget travelling, so i dont have much to rob anyway :)
Its more scary to sleep at parks, in some cities, there might be guite bad guys hanging around, so i wouldnt do that alone.
You say you owe yourself something. It also sounds like you're trying to prove yourself to yourself by means of showing yourself what your creativity can do.
If you can, i'd like you to answer 2 questions to yourself (not on this forum) as honestly as you can:
1) What purpose does this proving yourself have? (maybe in relation to your future)
2) If the way you are expressing your creativity now doesn't fulfill this purpose, how else do you think you could fulfill it?
Boogie on!
Quote from: Oliwerko on Tue 25/09/2007 20:47:30
Raiowaves has some point. Try to forget to use computer for a while, maybe it helps. Grab a pencil and draw. Or anything else you like doing.
Amen! I felt like you did, InC, and I didn't know what the hell was causing it, nor did I know how to break it. I wanted to write but couldn't. I wanted to work on my games, but couldn't. I wanted to do so many things, and I didn't do any of them. Why? I have no idea.
Then I went to Paris for three weeks, alone. I wanted to take my laptop with me to write, but I found it too risky, what if it got damaged or stolen? So I opted to take a notebook along and simply write in it the old-fashioned way.
Long story cut short, I got back 2 months ago, and I've been writing by hand ever since. I go to a bar, or sit outside and write. I get to write down my emotions and thoughts (the journal side of the notebook, heh) and when I feel creative I can simply round off what I'm writing and switch over to Storytime! and write.
Instead of forcing myself to work on something I opted to just let it rest until it came spontaneously. Amazingly enough, it worked.
But hey, that's just me. You're an entirely different cookie :=
What about entheogens? A good psilocybin trip can often offer you lots and lots of new inspiration.
Yeah, that's a good suggestion! DO DRUGS!
:'(
What? Why do you put "drugs" in one booth? It was meant as a suggestion for something that could really jump-start his inspiration, as a psilocybin or lysergic acid can be extremely healthy for your creative self.
But I don't want to turn this into a drug discussion. If InC thinks my ideas ridiculous, then just let it sliiide. :)
If you can't be creative without taking drugs, maybe you should just give up.
Quote from: ildu on Wed 26/09/2007 09:15:14
If you can't be creative without taking drugs, maybe you should just give up.
If everybody had followed that advice, we would have missed out on a lot of great creative works thorughout the ages....sadly.
Quote from: vict0r on Wed 26/09/2007 00:23:28
A good psilocybin trip can often offer you lots and lots of new inspiration.
Pleasant to find such open mindness from ags community. :)
Quote from: ildu on Wed 26/09/2007 09:15:14
If you can't be creative without taking drugs, maybe you should just give up.
'Drug' as a word is quite misleading, that's why i would put drugs and certain natural herbs in completely different categories.
Are entheogens addictive? Cause if not, then I wouldn't describe them as drugs, in fact I would very much like to have a try (while the kids are away and I'm looked after, mind you).
Most aren't, no. Unless you talk about the mental addiction and wanting the feeling the drug gives you, which can come from eating oranges or something. But no, fungi with psilocybin for example, are not physically addictive! And they are extremely cheap and easy to grow yourself. A couple of weeks of growing them in some closet or drawer could give you a years supply of 'shrooms'. No need to get into any kind of drugging enviroment. Fungi spores are legal, so it's no problems ordering spore syringes online.
Erowid (http://www.erowid.com) is a very good and reliable information source on how different drugs work.
Ildu and voh: Please dont take this in any offending manner. :) Have you ever asked yourself; What do I really know about this 'drug'? Maybe some research on what different substances actually do could help you broaden your view on this subject!
EDIT: Oooh! And stay the hell away from Salvia! A good trip on shrooms can be like elves going into your brain and giving you a brain massage over a span of 4-8 hours, while a Salvia trip is like an ogre ripping open your head and tossing the damn thing around the room in 10 minutes..
No drugs, sorry. :D
Even this creative blockade caused me drinking way too much lately.
Quote2. stop being a perfectionist(this means a lot coming from me). you'll never be a 100% satisfied with what you do. Go for 90%.
How... how did you know? :o
QuoteTallinn doesn't have places to ride? Omg, at that point, i wish I lived in Tallinn because there are tons of good places to ride your bike, like Pirita forest for example. And if you are such a wuss that you forget your bike somewhere for the junkie to take it, then you don't deserve anything, really. Go get yourself a bike. Biking is fun!
It's not about being wuss. I simply live in one of the most junkie/ethnic russian/crime-infested part of the city. But I don't have anywhere to keep my bike anyway, living in a flat right now. And planning a car in near future, bike would be a waste of money.
QuoteBut answer to the question,
I find help to boredom from low-budget travelling. Seeing different countries, people and cultures, and sleeping in tent at citypark,in sleeping bag at railway stations or in a forest middle-of-nowhere, eating cheapest but healthy food, jogging at places never seen before. After spending a month in such journey i feel like a completely new person.
Well this sounds fun. Though, it still needs a budget, and TIME. Time is what I don't have, going to school, work, and driving courses at same time. Only time I have is night hours, and the whole problem is that I cannot fill them productively anymore. During the time I cannot create, I'm doing things for myself and her, to live better, to achieve stuff, to have money, to provide, etc. Create-hours are for whole world, not my own little lifecycle.
QuoteIf you can, i'd like you to answer 2 questions to yourself (not on this forum) as honestly as you can:
1) What purpose does this proving yourself have? (maybe in relation to your future)
I can answer them even on this forum, because I have made peace with myself (on this particular topic) long ago:
Cancelling highschool, led by 3-year alcoholism and three failed choices in further education led me into really miserable state where nobody, even not myself had any trust in my future. Nor did it provide any excuse for electric bill sitting at computer generated, while everything went downwards. There was a time when I had no job, didn't study or do anything useful, thus being major disappointment to my parents and everyone else. Eh, my mother even thought I'm doing drugs because of me being locked into my room most of the time. If these years had ANY use, it's probably the expression on the face of a psychiatrist at recruiting offices of army. "Go and live your life, I won't sign you up" she said, after hearing whole story in detail. I didn't want to go anyway, but never thought this could release me so easily.
Creativity is only thing that kept me still looking into future with slight hope. And it prevailed. I picked up education, got a job, found true love, etc. It's what makes my engine running.
I don't want to be a simple consumer. I want to make something by myself for others to consume. Maybe I'm too radical about this, but I've accused other people for only consuming and not doing anything to make more or new or better. I have some weird disgust in people who are simply a tiny parts of the machine and live from start to end without making any change in this world. Living only to survive and fulfill basic needs or their own.
Quote2) If the way you are expressing your creativity now doesn't fulfill this purpose, how else do you think you could fulfill it?
But it should. I would really love to become a graphics designer or something along this path. But none of my creations haven't generated a single penny of real, cold cash yet, so it's quite difficult to hold continuous trust in things and people supporting me. Especially after mentioned downfall-years. Maybe I'm simply too perfectionist to compile a portfolio and step into real world.
It all sounds like poor bohemian artist/writer case, thinking about it now... :P
I've tried to reduce my free time into a pencil, eraser and paper, but this doesn't last even 30 minutes.
Quote3. stop whining and get yourself together soldier!
That's what I'm telling myself, yes :D
Quote1. don't work on dozens of projects at once. pick one and focus all your energy on it.
An advice I definetly won't ignore. I'm dedicating whole October to it. Let's see if I actually get Henri into beta stage?
Something has to work!!!
Thanks guys, so far.
Quote from: vict0r on Wed 26/09/2007 00:23:28
What about entheogens? A good psilocybin trip can often offer you lots and lots of new inspiration.
Hmm, he could also chop one of his arms off, so he gets at least some feeling what ought to be source of inspiration. And heck he'd still have the other arm, a moment of happiness. Oh the joy!
Quote from: vict0r on Wed 26/09/2007 07:59:38
psilocybin or lysergic acid can be extremely healthy for your creative self.
But I don't want to turn this into a drug discussion. If InC thinks my ideas ridiculous, then just let it sliiide. :)
So, you recommend drugs, but ain' t you open to discuss if they are good or not?
Yes, a lysergic trip can be a funny and creative experience... or a terrible, terrifying and horrible paranoid experience, and dangerous (As shown by people who thought was able to stop a train, or fly, while on a trip...) And don' t tell me that bad trips are an urban legend, because I [bold]know[/bold] they are real.
You haven't experienced one? Lucky you! Congrats! It should be good to you to stop taking that before the first one, but if you want to go on... come back to this very thread and post if it was so funny as you thought.
QuoteSo, you recommend drugs, but ain' t you open to discuss if they are good or not?
Nono! I just thought we'd let his thread be and not clog it with ot. :)
Quote from: Nacho on Wed 26/09/2007 17:52:09
You haven't experienced one?
Yes actually, I have. It was horrible and devastating. Probably the worst time of my whole life. And I've learned only to do stuff like this in a controlled and safe enviroment and to really do research on stuff before you use it!
Quote from: radiowaves on Wed 26/09/2007 17:10:50
Quote from: vict0r on Wed 26/09/2007 00:23:28
What about entheogens? A good psilocybin trip can often offer you lots and lots of new inspiration.
Hmm, he could also chop one of his arms off, so he gets at least some feeling what ought to be source of inspiration. And heck he'd still have the other arm, a moment of happiness. Oh the joy!
Please, save it. If you don't know what the hell you are talking about just shut up!
I'm open for discussion and opinions of course, but not when people say mindless things like that.
Aaaah! So, you must agree with me that before recommending something you should describe the two sides of the coin, not only the funny one. ;)
Yes, of course! Doing anything else would be irresponsible and idiotic in my opinion. But shrooms are usually a very safe drug if you know what you are doing and are using a tripsitter :)
Never tasted those... :) But I am "clean" now... ^_^
Quote from: InCreator on Wed 26/09/2007 14:35:20
Quote2. stop being a perfectionist(this means a lot coming from me). you'll never be a 100% satisfied with what you do. Go for 90%.
How... how did you know? :o
It was kind of apparent from your post.
Quote from: vict0r on Wed 26/09/2007 13:58:50Ildu and voh: Please dont take this in any offending manner. :) Have you ever asked yourself; What do I really know about this 'drug'? Maybe some research on what different substances actually do could help you broaden your view on this subject!
I didn't mean drug as something addictive, more as any substance that the body reacts to chemically. Meaning, if you have to rely on a substance to be able to do what you like, I would urge you to seriously reconsider your position. I don't mind the ooh-psychedelic aspect. Get high if you want - I have nothing against that. I'm just opposed to what I would call 'cheating', if in fact it even works. Kinda like steroids in major league baseball.
Just to clarify, I'm not saying the mentioned substances make you any more creative or focused, mainly because I don't know anything about them. I'm just saying that maybe you're in the wrong game if you have to take external substances to be able to do something that should, in most cases, come naturally.
Quote from: vict0r on Wed 26/09/2007 13:58:50Ildu and voh: Please dont take this in any offending manner. :) Have you ever asked yourself; What do I really know about this 'drug'? Maybe some research on what different substances actually do could help you broaden your view on this subject!
Friends of mine have used shrooms and I've seen enough (I was a tripsitter once) to know I'm not going near the stuff. I'm sure it can be a good thing, but I've seen somebody go through a bad trip and I'd never risk that happening.
Guy's still not back to his old self.
If people really want drugs I'd recommend chocolate. You'd be surprised how much it helps...
Quote from: Radiant on Thu 27/09/2007 08:01:20
If people really want drugs I'd recommend chocolate. You'd be surprised how much it helps...
Yup, confirmed many times.
About that other "drugs": I would never force myself to do something using drugs, especially when I think that AGS is my hobby, I wouldnt use drugs to force myself to do my hobby! Its nonsense I think.