Cyber Sex Gone Wrong

[Igor]

Heh, this was just too good to pass:

http://www.quq.dk/cybersex.htm

[shbaz]

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Awesome.

One of those was on bash.org as well.

[Czar]

teh funny stuff with the Britney Spears. And then again her. ))

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool.

....later....

J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!

teh lol

[Raggit]

Some of that is really funny, if you can overcome that dirty feeling.  Do you think those logs are real?  It is just so funny 'cause these perverts go on there really wanting to do it cyber, and then all of a sudden their partners do something insane.  Like talking about dingle berries and stuff.  Sick.  Funny.  Weird.

[Hinders]

Hehe
That was funny

[Dart]

That was actually pretty funny.

bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this s**t is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love

[4Dsheep]

I know some. The other are funny too, but could have been better.

"i am lickin ur tities".

[Lazy Z]

I read those a while ago on a different forum. Some are classics, like the rhino one.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

Heh.

[Felipe]

I actually laughted out loud reading that!
Specially bloodninja's (all of them) and hotstud69's!

Just picture it... that would really "make you limp"!




-Felipe-

[Shattered Sponge]

I've read a few of these before; they tend to be pretty funny at first, but they get old fast - they all seem to follow the same pattern, like so:

Pervert24:  Hey SmallChild11!
SmallChild11:  Hi Pervert24!
Pervert24:  Wanna cyber?
SmallChild11:  Okey-dokey.

...

SmallChild11:  And then I PULL my COCK out!!!  Because I have a cock!!!  Because I'm really a man!!!
Pervert24:  WTF FOAD BITCH WHORE CUNT BASTARD TWAT!!!

There seem to be very few deviations from this theme.

I actually considered pretending to be a paedophile online, and messaging the most obvious baiter I could find; I would go through the normal 'Ooh, I'm a paedophile who's rubbish at cybering' shtick, only when they PULLED their COCK out, I'd be all 'Oh yeah baby, let me suck it; shove it up my arse!', and they'd be all 'Hoisted by my own petard!', or something equally Shakespearian.

The only reason I didn't do this is that I realised that I couldn't honestly be bothered to.

[shbaz]

There are only a few of the pretending to be a man ones.. the others have varying themes. Did you read them?

[Flippy_D]

Ach, they're all the same style. Gets boring around the fifth one.

[Shattered Sponge]

There are only a few of the pretending to be a man ones.. the others have varying themes. Did you read them?

No, I brashly jumped to the wrong conclusion, having seen stuff like this before.

Curse me.

Curse me all to HELL.

[Meowster]

Jesus, Sponge...

[Pet Terry]

Haha! I've read some of those before, the three first I think... funny stuff, especially the fifth one!

[modgeulator]

Check these ones out. Cybersex comedy masterpieces:

http://www.shortandhappy.com/amber

[sedriss]

A few IRL LOL's came out of me there.

[Edwin Xie]

Stares  :o then burst in laughter  HAHAHAHAHA!

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Man, eminemBNJA was bloodninja.

[Igor]

StaresÃ,  :o then burst in laughterÃ,  HAHAHAHAHA!

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Man, eminemBNJA was bloodninja.

Hehe, yeah. This was one of my favorites too It should be read after the first "encounter" to make sense though.