I'm messed up

[Crimson Wizard]

Heh, how very familiar  :
I mean, I feel like you, InCreator, sometimes.

Well, there were some useful advices already spoken, I would second an advice to join forces with other people, this may greatly increase motivation, because you will feel like someone else really likes and needs what you are doing, and also annoying people with your unfinished projects like Ben suggested I guess in this case you'll get some criticism at least.

Making something short and fast may help, even if it will be a silly little thing, it may give you rest from your long-term projects, add to practical experience, which may help you to finish long projects faster afterwards
For example, I have couple of postponed AGS projects, which I hope to revive in a while, because I made couple of small AGS games and now am more potent to work on larger ones.
Also, some people would like to collaborate with you after seeing your first works.

Just think of it - you are not the only 25+ year old nerd in distress out there. By finishing something you may get others attention and together you could solve your mutual problems  


Last thing is about lots of something that would never be finished... I have lots of these too... over time I got two philosophical concepts.
1) I believe that every idea a human being creates in his/her brain stays in space and over time may visit other people heads. Thus, if you won't bring a cool idea to life, someone else finally would. Try to think positively, as if you are making a basis for someone else's breakthrough. Well, this may work, unless you are selfish bitch, ofcourse
2) There's a lots of crap in our world. I mean it. Lot's of. By making something you always have a chance to increase amount of crap. So, by not making your something you have a chance to decrease potential amount of crap. Maybe you are lucky to not finish all your projects in the past. Maybe people of Earth must bless you for saving them from another one ugly crappy creation.  

[Cuiki]

Hehe, I'm experiencing the same problems with finishing things, InCreator. Although my started games/drawings/music/stories don't seem so superb to me. But I still think, hey if I finished that, it would be some quite proper stuff. I think I understand you, because I really want to complete what I've started, but I just can't force myself to do it.

My advice (at least it works for me) - try to get motivation from elsewhere. For example, try getting a job that lets you use your creativity. You can work on some design projects, games etc and have a deadline. In that case you'd be forced to finish it. If you already have a job like this, then I don't see what's the problem... Or you could ask your friends instead to set you deadlines for the projects you've started and you enjoy working on. Make a bet with them to finish in time and so increase your motivation. I don't know. It may not work in your case. I still wish the best to you.

By the way, congrats on finishing such a long post

[InCreator]

You nag about unfinished projects? Hell, how about trying to finish for 1 and a half year now? How about working so much hours you've forgotten how your house looks like. How about you having 8 months or so to have a good time with a lady?
Okay, on second thought I can't top your achievements. You win.

2005! Last time I added some content was last summer. Problem is, I've aged considerably during 5 years and everything about the game feels childish and very amateur to me now. Though it's still *that* close to being complete... I even showed it at local meeting of indie developers here in Estonia. (Something like local Mittens which I held with fellow enthusiasts, not directly to AGS related though)

Just think of it - you are not the only 25+ year old nerd in distress out there. By finishing something you may get others attention and together you could solve your mutual problems

Truth is, I'm not hardcore basement-dweller really. I was quite social in the past. But I don't have any friends left (some are living abroad, some are family people now), and no clue where to find new ones. And tragic event of last summer left me into some strange limbo with very little social activities. I'd like to restart everything but don't know how.

My advice (at least it works for me) - try to get motivation from elsewhere. For example, try getting a job that lets you use your creativity. You can work on some design projects, games etc and have a deadline. In that case you'd be forced to finish it. If you already have a job like this, then I don't see what's the problem...

Yes, that's the odd thing: I design cardboard displays and it's both creative and strongly deadlined job. Over last 1,5 years, I had a crash course in meeting deadlines. But it somehow doesn't apply to my hobbies...

Maybe it's as Wyz said:

I'm lazy, so I sometimes need extra motivation, making deadlines helps, but even more when somebody else makes them.

I also thought about dumping everything, ready (or not so much) over internet. Like music tracks to youtube and so on. What's the point in creations if no one could enjoy them? But I don't know if it's a good idea or not. Maybe I can leave some things behind that way.

Thanks for advice so far. It really helps to unfold my mess a bit.

[david]

Maybe this one help

Ask ALWAYS yourself:  Why do I do This/That? (What is its purpose) If you know the answer, then EVERYTHING is okey, no problem

If you do not know the answer dont worry keep continue to find it for yourself

Everybody has some problems, the question is how we face them.

Just enjoy your life and inspire it from the world around you, from the tinest little things (Beethoven and others great artists took it also this way) , as Ben´s 304 games tell it

Have  great experiences  

Anyway fuck my words and throw them into the trash can  

The sun is shining and snow is covering the trees, isn´t it great?

[Crimson Wizard]

Just think of it - you are not the only 25+ year old nerd in distress out there. By finishing something you may get others attention and together you could solve your mutual problems

Truth is, I'm not hardcore basement-dweller really. I was quite social in the past. But I don't have any friends left (some are living abroad, some are family people now), and no clue where to find new ones. And tragic event of last summer left me into some strange limbo with very little social activities. I'd like to restart everything but don't know how.

Okay, now I feel like things I told you were total bullshit 
Of course I understand there's always something serious behind such situations; it is not just inability to make some silly game.
Sometimes I think that one shouldn't stick to the area he is being active at for years if he feels apathetic. Maybe it is just a habit, or worse, a fear of unknown, that makes people hit the wall again and again at one spot instead of seeking for another path.
Maybe it may be worth to change your lifestyle, job even and try something different, at least for couple of years; but I never could do this myself, so, I guess I am not a good advisor here.

[Theme]

When comparing this to drawing
Try not to being perfectionist
Like when you are still learning how to draw, you got to do loose sketchs to train yourself
like has been said here already: try a small game, simple graphics and learn from it then go for the more complex stuff
o/

[Dualnames]

Try to be a perfectionist, try not to end up an ass about it. Due to this thread I found after 3 months the urge to work on HHGTG. And thank you, I found so many bugs to fix, that I almost made it to work this morning.

I've been there. And you're making your game, YOUR game, if it;s okay with you, nobody will nag.I'm remaking sth, there's a burden and responsibility and usually some pms, everytime I quit this game. I've decided to stop working on it twice in the past, and yet I'm still working on it. A game (a full length one), just can't stop getting better, and will never match your standards, because by the time it will reach them, you'll be having new.

All you need is to pick some outrageous ones and try to match them.

There's only one thing that keeps me going. And that's a pm from a guy with the wisest words ever written. At least they appeared to me as so.

Once I was depressed, and I tried everything to get off my depression. You know what eventually got me out of that situation?

A book. And it had this large friendly letters inscripted on it.

[ThreeOhFour]

A book. And it had this large friendly letters inscripted on it.

Don't panic!

Glad you're back working on H2G2 Dual

[InCreator]

About depression: Depression is a condition of being chronically sad.
I do suffer under depression most of the time. I somewhat have learned to live with it, and what's most strange is that depression is actually fuels my creativity.

I'm not very stressed about it, in some ways, I even enjoy it. Sounds a bit emo, I know.
I'm an optimist. Usual motto in heavy depression for me is "if someone's sitting up there on the cloud and watches my misadventures as a funny tragic comedy, well, I'm going to give a helluva good stage performance!". This one always cracks me up.

But if you get sensitive all over, need to express yourself and share your world gets super high. So does the need to place yourself "on the map".

[Helme]

... and what's most strange is that depression is actually fuels my creativity.

Without depressive artists my CD-collection would be quite small.

[Jim Reed]

I have given this topic much thought.

The problem that doesn't let you finish a big project like a game in ags is that you have no motivation left after you run off the first 'steam'.

Not to in deeply in my reasoning, all you need to do is to divide your project into chunks that you can complete in a single session. If you have too many open ends, your motivation will will go down the drain.

An example of this method would be, let's say, you drawing a character.

On the first session, your goal would be to make the character outline. On the second session, your goal would be to colour it in. On the third session you would make it walk in two directions, and so on.

By reaching a goal your sense of self-acomplishment would give you that much needed motivation.

So don't bite off more than you can chew.

[Chicky]

InC, drink and drive has always stood out to me, lovely backgrounds! You should finish that, i'm still working on GuardDuty and that was 2004!

I have all sorts of problems that i'm not going to go into but i find the best advice is to simply force yourself to work. Do it with the most pathetic amount of effort if you want but just go, don't think about it; do it. It really doesn't matter if you get one line of speech done in the editor or make a new animation frame, that's enough to say you've achieved something. If you think about it you had the motivation to spend 5 minutes posting on the forums so why not simply use that small amount of motivation to write 5 minutes of dialogue? I find that 8 times out of 10 that little bit of progression makes that small amount of motivation sky rocket.

Try it, close the browser after you read this post and spend the next five minutes writing something for drink and drive, plan out a new room or puzzle, or write up a brief overview of your story. See where it goes and post it up here on the forums.

[jfritzyb]

I like your siggy, Ben...but my favorite part about your game?

Save!    Load!    Quit!

[MrCheminee]

My life routine is simple: work and home. No friends, going out, women, outside hobbies, nothing. Just work and video games. So basically, I spend 16-18 hours infront of PC daily. I'm male and 26.

Only thing I have besides this, is creativity. And this also has become a terrible struggle lately. I mean, I have near-lethal urge to express myself somehow. Make something. Be known.

I try making music, drawing, making a game of some kind, make a video, 3D modelling... but sad fact is, I'm unable to finish whatever I start. And quite quickly really. I start a new track in FruityLoops, make a basic beat, try to add bass and I don't like it. Quit & play some game.

I start a project in AGS or Game Maker, animate main character with painful amount of quality and dedication, write huge portion of engine, save and close. And somehow, I cannot continue this project, ever. Whenever I'm the the mood, I open it, fix few lines of code, and close it again, without progressing thing much.

Opening old projects always make me go "wow" and think that "this is so awesome, I must be crazy not to finish it", but somehow, that feeling fuels me only to make little insignifant changes or addons and never to actually continue those. Also, I like video games. Too much. I start watching a movie, and 30 minutes into movie, I have urge to play something. Same with creating.

I have about 80 unfinished songs of different genres, over 300 game maker projects (of which most would surely be liked by players), about two dozens of AGS games... all unfinished with dim hope of ever seeing release.

Sometimes, I think that I'm doing it wrong. I shouldn't create at all and do something else. But there's nothing else to do. And this urge to do something, release, get famous - won't go away.

I won't add a question or anything to the end of this post. But if you have an opinion or advice or just anything relevant, I would love to hear this.

Very recognizable, you problaby have what I have  Adhd. The focus you have on making games, I have on music *making listening, playing* and now also on making a game, ( but I also like writing small stories, poems, and have discussions about difficult or edgy subjects), So I became an alternative Dj and thats where I get most of my social connections from. If you indeed have Adhd, there are medications and trainings for your situation you should check it out...

[Timosity]

Sometimes it is hard when you have multiple things you are interested in, and if you are good at multiple things, it makes it hard to focus on one thing.

Genius's are usually only talented in very few areas, they just spend a lot of time doing the one thing. sometimes it can make you money and fame.

If Bill Gates was a popular guy he probably wouldn't have spent a lot of time programming computers. Now he's just a rich fuck head, probably not happy at all.

Tiger Woods just concentrated (forced too) on Golf, eventually his popularity and fame probably got to him a bit, bill Gates probably couldn't get the sexy babes still, haha


A totally different way to look at things, is diet has a lot to do with the way your mind and body works, and a bit of exercise, and sun light can do a lot for you. It can totally change the way you look at things. Healthy mind, Healthy body and all that, it is not just talk, but it is hard to see without actually getting motivation to do it.

It will help you be able to focus on tasks and possibly finish something.

There's lots of possibilities with things like ADHD or just ADD not everyone has the hyperactive part, and are much harder to diagnose. But you don't need drugs to fix these things, Don't get me started on how bad drug companies are, and they pay doctors to prescribe certain drugs etc. When most things are due to a diet imbalance, that can be fixed by eating the right things, not taking a pill. A Pill is just a quick fix that will probably reduce your life, while making some greedy bastard even richer. There are use for some medications, but there is never enough study done on any meds before they are approved. Of course some can help, but there is usually a better alternative.

There's also things like Asperger's Syndrome, that is in the autism spectrum, which in reality, I think everyone has some level of what we call autism. Not that you probably have it, it is just something out there that people often over look.

I imagine you have quite long winters in Estonia too, so having to be indoors a lot doesn't help.

I stopped making a remake of a famous game at the end of 2003, to this day it is still almost finished, and that is a full length game I've been sitting on for just over 6 full years. I don't think I even want to release it now though. It is quite an immature game, and technically it is a big breach of copyright, even though I'd be quite sure nothing would happen, as other sierra games have had the same treatment. I don't care about it so much anymore.

I go through stages of different interests, they are all things I was good at as a kid, but eventually I get sick of them and move onto something else. Team sport is a great thing, whatever sport interests you, it is more the social aspect that you can get a lot out of. I've played cricket for 21 years, I still play pretty competitively and happen to be in a good team, and we are undefeated this year so far. It is my first season with this club as I have moved interstate, but it is a great way to meet some people around the community. Also get some exercise, probably also drink too much beer after the games though.

I'm getting back into making music at the moment too and have a few people I have collected over my life that I have connected with musically that I may do some work with at some point.

You might not have finished anything completely, but that doesn't mean you wont, things might just come together at the right time, maybe that time isn't right at this moment. Maybe you'll meet someone that brings all the goodness out of you, but don't let them take too much or you might not come back, haha

Do things you enjoy, if you stop enjoying them, look at why you lost interest. I think there are a lot of people in the same situation. Don't know if we can give any good hints, but yeah, diet strangely enough is probably one of the most important factors we all usually ignore.

[miguel]

InCreator, cheer up my talent internet friend!
As you can see by other posts here, the only painfull bag of bricks you have to carry (maybe for your long, long life) is that you are an artist. And art, my friend is a lonely process.

My advice is: try to work on a team with the guys here, don't try to do everything!
Do sprites, or music for a project. Give advice, find bugs!

Limit yourself because things happen when they have to. And I'm talking about everything here, girlfriends, jobs, friends, sucessfull or not AGS games, good songs/bad songs!

We've all been there at a moment of our lives, and one thing is sure, things can only get better!

[InCreator]

Acronyms: I'm not in the stage to self-diagnose various syndromes yet... actually, quite far from this.

My advice is: try to work on a team with the guys here, don't try to do everything!
Do sprites, or music for a project. Give advice, find bugs!

Well, that's the perfectionist part I want to shine with my creations only. Teaming up with worse artist/musician, etc would "ruin" my project. That's also why I never, ever use anything (music, art, etc) not made by me. Other makers use photos, free graphics and whatever and actually complete things...
However, being with BETTER artist/musician so on would erase the shine from the part I did.


Then again,
I still regret doing so little for ATOTK project: Even though I got credited (quite undeserved, I think) little did I know that this little ambitious project I lent hand with would grow something so impressive and great!

Health and diet part

Hm. I'm quite healthy (aside from chain smoking), stay in perfect shape quite naturally and move alot on foot since I don't have a car. But diet is absolutely wrong...
I might try to improve this some way, though I have low expectations and heavy barrier of laziness on this topic.

I imagine you have quite long winters in Estonia too, so having to be indoors a lot doesn't help.

-13C outside, heavy fog, you feel your nostrils freeze in about 20 seconds outside, and there's 2m high snowpile under my window. If I was a kid, all I had to do was to dig a cave into it and have a dream igloo.

So yes... there's not much sense going outside and not much chance to meet anyone outside that would want anything other than to get inside again. I'm also not the nutty type that goes to ski, though weather is more than perfect for this.

[Timosity]

-13C outside, heavy fog, you feel your nostrils freeze in about 20 seconds outside, and there's 2m high snowpile under my window. If I was a kid, all I had to do was to dig a cave into it and have a dream igloo.

So yes... there's not much sense going outside and not much chance to meet anyone outside that would want anything other than to get inside again. I'm also not the nutty type that goes to ski, though weather is more than perfect for this.

It's hard for me to get the concept of those sort of temps, I know that a lot of places have been much colder than that lately, but below zero C is not something I'm used to.

It is summer here at the moment and the usual daily temp is 30C with a minimum of 20C, and in winter it is closer to top of 20C and a low of 10C. There isn't a time of year where you could go outside and worry that you could actually die because of the weather, more likely from being too hot. If you crash out drunk somewhere there is no chance you would freeze to death.

So it makes more sense I guess to do outdoor things here. I can see how the weather can effect your life and keep you trapped inside. I don't think I would be a happy person living in those conditions, but there must be something good about it, or why would people still live in such cold climates. I'm sure the beauty of the area must keep people interested, or just the fact it is where you live and you love it or know no other climate.

I quit smoking just over 5 months ago, after 18 years of smoking. I still feel like one quite often, just know i don't need it. To be honest, I've always kept pretty fit and I haven't really noticed any physical difference. One thing I have noticed is smoking does regulate a lot in your life, and you think more clearly and logically when smoking. I just figure I'll have less chance of having a few diseases earlier in my life. I don't hate smoking and I do really enjoy being around people while they are smoking, but the smell of a smoker is terrible, I can't believe I went all those years smelling like that.

[InCreator]

Smoking is a good excuse to get out atleast 10 times on daily basis. 10 times 10 minutes is over a hour. So a hour of fresh air per day (which I know I won't be getting if I didn't smoke) somewhat balances unhealthy habit.
Also, since I work with my head, those cold air breaks work positively in clearing my mind and rearranging mental state.

-13C is actually quite OK weather here if there's no wind, of course. Summers are warmer, up to +30C but summer lasts about month and a half.

I personally DO NOT understand the location: Civilization started near Nile and Egypt,  and it's a paradise by weather. Has humankind getting stupider by emigrating so far north?
Or smart people stayed there and stupid ones went northwards...

Okay, nature is really magnificent here and I do know that ancient man chose this location because of flint deposits (which was super useful back then) and rich amounts of game to hunt.
But still... it's friggin' cold.

[Oddysseus]

I know exactly where you're coming from.
Two suggestions:

Since I lose interest when I work on something for too long, I compensate by having tons of different projects in various states of completion at any time.  That way, if I get bored doing one thing, I can jump right into another thing, and still be productive.  My work is just spread out over many projects rather than being focused on one.

I used to be very depressed at my lack of progress until I started my daily webcomic.  It's just photos stolen from Google searches with funny captions added, but creating something everyday makes me feel productive.  It's also given me the passion to do other projects.  I would recommend finding something to create daily (sketches, short poems, etc.) and sticking with it, even when you feel tired or uninspired (you can always go back and replace the crappy ones later).


I'd just like to add that it was your background tutorial that first gave me the courage to draw my own game backgrounds.  I managed to make 10 backgrounds before I stopped work on my game (because I hadn't planned it out well enough).  So, if you were looking to make an impact on someone, you did!