Japan/single living, here I come.

[Kinoko]

I'm leaving for Japan on Sunday morning (super early) and as exciting as that concept is, the reality of it all is starting to make me worried about time.

Tomorrow I have to go out and shop for some last minute things, then skip off to pre-departure orientation/dinner and get home very late. Saturday I have to get last minute things, finish packing completely, go to final football game, get home late and try to get to sleep.

I keep going over in my head what I need to do/buy/pack and I've made lists and I think I'm pretty well prepared but I can't help the awful feeling that I'm forgetting this or that, or worse still that I'm not taking advantage of time left with fiance/cat. I know that there's nothing I could do that would leave me satisfied. The time is always going to seem too short, no matter what I do.

I know this experience is going to really strengthen me as a person, and I'm sure it'll be really fun, and it's essential for getting my career started, but... I'm starting to really feel the push of time.

I know for a fact that I wouldn't be worried at all if I were leaving -with- my fiance. It really all comes down to the fact that I'm just gonna miss him like crazy no matter how much we keep in touch, and I've never in my life lived on my own, and I'm wondering how long it's going to take before I'm not scared to go to sleep on my own anymore.

Honestly, I don't know how people live on their own, it drives me nuts. I want to know someone's there with me when I go to sleep, or that I can look forward to them coming home at the end of the day. I know I'll get used to it but still... I'm the sort of person that gets sick of being with my friends after awhile, and I get sick of being out in public or at school/work after awhile, and I LOVE time to myself but I want someone there with me everyday.

I just got engaged and now I have single life to look forward to.

Sorry for my rant, I just needed to vent somewhere.

[Kweepa]

Don't get stressed about packing - it'll only upset you and your partner.
If there's anything you've forgotten, your fiance (does he have a name?) can send it on to you, or you can buy a replacement in Japan.
Just use the last days to have fun together.

I've lived on my own plenty (more than ten years) and it is liberating but you miss your partner and it's very hard on a relationship (it lasted about four years). When he comes to visit make sure you blow everything else off and get away together.

When I went to university the homesickness lasted about three months. I led a sheltered upbringing though.

Good luck!

[Chicky]

I wouldn't stress about living alone at all! I've been living alone for the last 6 months now and at the age of 17 there are three main things you have to keep ahead off.

*shopping - make sure you have food at all times, and can afford food. Nothing's worse than when you're hungry at 2am with no food in the house.

*washing - It seems like a joke, but washing really is an important thing to keep ahead of, it can really get you down and bog you down. When you need a nice shirt to wear to a party and you find that it's got pasta stains on from the night before can be really annoying.

and thirdly

*house care!- Keeping the house clean and tidy can take hours if done all at once, but if you tidy up after yourself every time you make a meal/mess then tidying will become a thing of the past!

I find that those are what i have to keep ahead of and as for the actual being alone, i find it really doesn't get to me but if it does then going to a friends house can really help.

It's not such a bad thing; it becomes kind of fun walking around an empty house naked. Good luck in Japan.

[SpacePirateCaine]

Allow me, first, to say congratulations on the engagement - I didn't say so on the other thread, but I still mean it. I don't often make it a point to congratulate people about things on the 'net, but there you go.

Anyway, good luck on your way here, Kinoko. It's possible you'll forget something, or lose it in the first few days, but as long as you have your passport, you'll do okay. There's plenty here to replace anything you don't have. It's a big shock at first, as I'm sure you already understand - I'm not sure how much Japanese you speak, but English works to get around until your Japanese improves, if that's necessary. Living alone here can be an adventure, but since you've got a sponsor of sorts (Your school), they should be willing to help you out with anything that doesn't go swimmingly at first.

As far as living alone is concerned, there are some who handle it better than others, and seperation anxiety is pretty common, but something you'll get used to. The internet is your friend, and since you're already looking into video-chat programs, that should help soften the blow. Me, I'm single/not even dating, so that made it even easier, but except for the lack of physical contact thing, it should still be easy enough to communicate. Hell, you're even practically in the same time-zone. I do miss my cats, though.

Chicky's right about the three big points to having an easy time living alone, though I tend to let paper and art supplies pile up all over the place, and tend to live off of 'bento' as opposed to shopping regularly (Lawson is your friend). And the empty house nudity thing? The first thing I do when I get home after class? Off with the pants. (Too much information, I'm sure, but it's wonderful). Now, that wasn't the best idea ever when we had that 5.whatever earthquake recently, as I was almost out the door by the time I realized my pants were still near my desk, but anyway...

Hmm... Only other piece of advice I can offer is dress lightly. It's damned hot and unnecessarily humid here right now, at least in the Chiba/Tokyo area. I hope you don't mind being the center of attention, also. It may not be the same way since you'll be in a larger city, but we white folk get stared at a lot. I got stared at in the USA for having bright blue hair and tattoos, but in Japan, even when my tattoos are covered and my hair is brown again, I still get watched a lot. It's not that disconcerting, but still. There's always the 'What... is my zipper down?' factor. It's more prominent in the smaller cities where we're rarer.

Anyway, Good luck - you'll love it here. If you need any help on anything Japan related, you know who to call. Or you can call on me. I may be helpful too.

Now We need to work out a date for Japanittens. Arr.

[LGM]

Kinoko.. You really need a blog.

[edmundito]

We all need a blog.

Anyway, good luck in Japan! Have a safe trip while I'll be here jelaous that you're going instead of me.

[Kinoko]

I have a blog, actually ^_^

Anyway, thanks everyone. I'm feeling a bit better today. Keep going up and down between excitement and sadness.

SPC: I'm actually going to a fairly small town so I'm really looking forward to getting stared at and being the centre of attention for awhile. I know I'll eventually come to hate it, but I'm going to make the most of it while I can. "Hey, look at me! I'm a gaijin and I know how to buy the paper!"

I have 4 years of Japanese under my belt... I'm hoping it resurfaces in a crisis because I'll be damned if I can use it confidently right now (and I haven't been studying lately, how stupid is that? Very.)

Chicky: Thanks for the tips. Honestly, I've been thinking to myself how I'm going to have to get into a washing clothes routine so it's good that you reiterated it for me.

[LGM]

To be more helpful: Being alone isn't all that bad. You may find it better in the long run. You only have to worry about yourself for once and you aren't tied down.

I'm alone alot (by choice) and it's really not as terrifying as you may believe.

And to add on what Chicky was saying, washing clothes is no biggy. Buy a hamper (or two) and just put your clothes in it when you are done with them. Once it gets full then take it to the wash. If you have two, one could be for towels and non-clothing. I've been teaching myself how to do laundry regularly. One IMPORTANT thing to keep in mind is to never wash your clothes in COLD water unless they need to be. Or else you will end up with clothes for Kinoko Jr. (if/when she comes :-p) Make sure you get some dryer sheets and put them in once in a while to prevent static and to make your clothes smell oh so nice.

Bah, I'm blabbering. I'm sure you'll do fine. I really don't know alot about the Japanese culture I just know it's quite different. Most of them know some bit of English, I'm sure. So with 4 years under your belt you'll make it great. I was okay in Germany with no hitches (4 years o' German for me, too.)

Good luck, Kinoko. And what's the URL to your blog I'd like to read it!

[Nine Toes]

Living alone isn't so bad.  You're the master of your domain.  There's nobody around to nag you about leaving your dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, or about cleaning your shaving scum out of the bathroom sink, or about leaving the toilet seat up... oh, yeh... you're a girl... Well, you know what I mean.

You're just going to need something to keep you busy.  Like for me, I had my computer (until it died on me... ).  So definetly stick to your hobbies.  Be sure to make a few friends, and have some company once in a while... otherwise you'll start bouncing off the walls.  Also, be sure to get out once in a while, go for a walk, or something.

As far as your relationship with your fiance, well... I'm not sure what to say.  I know how hard it is going from seeing that person every day, to only seeing them once in a great while.  I don't really have any good advice to help you cope with this.

[Timosity]

Good Luck and have a great time, I'm sure you will

If that final Footy game you're talking about is the Broncos Vs Raiders, Go the Raiders (although I did tip the Broncos)

[PsychicHeart]

I can see how you are torn. Well, i guess probably the first thing you do is settle into the house/apartment. Then, a good thing to do is probably get to know the locals, and what better way than a house party!!!

[Meowster]

Living alone isn't so bad.Ã,  You're the master of your domain.Ã,  There's nobody around to nag you about leaving your dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, or about cleaning your shaving scum out of the bathroom sink, or about leaving the toilet seat up... oh, yeh... you're a girl... Well, you know what I mean.

I don't have a problem with any of those things except shaving scum. Dude WTF. The two guys I live with... I mean, how do you get shaving scum not only ALL over the sink itself, but also on the TAPS? Jesus fucking christ.

[Pumaman]

Living alone isn't so bad. You're the master of your domain. There's nobody around to nag you about leaving your dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, or about cleaning your shaving scum out of the bathroom sink, or about leaving the toilet seat up... oh, yeh... you're a girl... Well, you know what I mean.

Indeed, and you can have Naked Wednesdays without anyone complaining. But quite frankly, I lived on my own for a year or so, and it was the most boring thing ever. It's all too easy to just slump on the sofa and watch TV all night when there's nobody around to talk to, and then you realise you've just wasted a month and accomplished nothing.

Of course, so long as you have motivation to do stuff, this shouldn't be a problem

Good luck in Japan, anyway!

[BerserkerTails]

But quite frankly, I lived on my own for a year or so, and it was the most boring thing ever. It's all too easy to just slump on the sofa and watch TV all night when there's nobody around to talk to, and then you realise you've just wasted a month and accomplished nothing.

So that's why AGS takes so long to get updated 

Seriously though, Kinoko, I'm sure you'll survive. Living by yourself can be awkward at first, but nothing's impossible to get used to.

As for being away from your fiancee, the distance isn't that bad with the internet. I had a girlfriend for 8 months that lived a province over from me (Roughly 20 hour drive), so we only were able to see each other twice during those 8 months. But instant messengers and webcams (I remember you talking about those in another topic) really make you feel like you're still together.

You'll start a new routine, trust me. Instead of coming home and looking forward to seeing your fiancee, you'll come home and look forward to logging onto the computer to talk to your fiancee.

[passer-by]

I'm leaving for Japan on Sunday morning

I keep going over in my head what I need to do/buy/pack and I've made lists and I think I'm pretty well prepared but I can't help the awful feeling that I'm forgetting this or that,

Have a nice trip, take care of youself and enjoy your staying there. Don't worry about shopping and packing, because it is certain that you will forget the 10-15 most important things... After all, Japan is not a desert island or a raided planet!! I'm sure they 'll have a supermarket somewhere, don't you think?

Living on your own is not that terrible. By the time you will get sick of watching favourite T V series for hours , sleeping whenever you feel like it, making your nails at 2am, having your hair in a mess without anyone noticing, making games when you're too tired to go out, wearing (or not) whatever you like, decorating your new house the way you like it, sleeping with the radio on to feel a human presence, leaving a light on to help you with your fears,watching DVD 2 hours before going to work, ironing one shirt at a time and having less washing up to do, you'll have already made new friends, developped a daily routine, found a way of keeping the house tidy and clean clothes handy without much effort and bough the silly shower curtain you always liked and were always ridiculed for!!

If your relationship is strong, distance won't destroy it if you don't let it . Mobiles, internet, videophones, telephones...the traditional perfumed letter, sealed with a kissÃ,  ;)Ã,  ...Ã, 

[PsychicHeart]

agreed. you'll have plenty of ways to contact your fiancee, but i'm pretty sure you'll need the + codes. and, really, living alone won't be too bad. You'll have neighbours and that, right?

[Vince Twelve]

Kinoko,

Just got back from my trip around Japan.  First stop was Shizuoka and the place is beautiful.  I didn't get into your town, spent most of my time in and around Gotenba, but I can tell it's going to be a comfortable place to live.

I went through the same thing you're going through exactly one year ago.  I got real stressed out at the Tokyo orientation, started thinking that I wouldn't be able to do it... but here I am planning on spending the rest of my life and raising a family here.

Good luck, check in with us when you get some internet time, and don't be afraid of making mistakes.  People loooooove lauging at the stupid foriegners.  Great way to make friends.

[Kinoko]

I'm actually feeling fantastic right now. I'm packed (1 kg over the limit, it's the absolute best I can do. My luggage will explode if I prod it)

A friend of mine is having a panic attack I'm just... fine! I feel like everything's great, I can't wait to get to Tokyo.

So yeah, signing off! I'll see you guys er... some time later.

[LGM]

1 kg? Didn't I tell you to leave your bricks at home!?

[RickJ]

1 kg? Didn't I tell you to leave your bricks at home!?

Hehehehe! I know you're being sarcastice but one of my colleagues actually did this.    I was working an automation project in the south of France (poor me ).  We were sitting around sipping wine one evening.  One of my colleagues, Don, is married to a local Frence girl he had met many years before while working on a similar project.  Don worked on many overseas projects over the years while my other colleague John and I were new at this.   I was single but John had brought his wife and kids along.     At that time our company would allow you to ship 1500 lbs of stuff over to setup houskeeping and would add 20% to that for the trip back (presumably so you could keep any aquisitions you made during the project).  Don was explaining this to John and I while Don's and John's wives were standing nearby listening to our conversation.   John said, wow 20% extra on the way back that's a good bit.   When Don's wife suddenly broke in the conversation with a red face and angry voice "Yeah! It is unless your idot husband buys a brick pizza oven.".   

John has a dry sense of humor and so he asks "So Don, You bought a brick pizza oven?"   Don says "Yeah man it's great. I'm gonna put it my back yard."  John then says "Oh yeah. But how are you going to get it home?` How do you ship a brick oven?".   

I thought this was a good question because I wondered how they would keep it from falling apart during shipment.   Now here is the point where I am about to spit a mouth full of wine over the balcony and nearly passout from laughing.  Don says "It's ok John, it's a kit."   
 
Anyway Kinoko, have a good time in Japan, just don't bring back a brick pizza oven, even if it in kit form.     I'm looking forward to hearing about your experiences there; I hope you let us know how it's going from time to time.