No more chain email hoaxes! Take a stand! FIGHT!

[TerranRich]

Yes, that's right people! I've been pushed too far this time!

I'm sure you've gotten those emails from 20 or so "friends" (i.e. people who only seem to contact you to send you crap) that say that you can get free money from Microsoft, you can get free clothes, that AOL is charging for Instant Messages (HAH!), you have to pray for some ill person that got better 5 or so years ago, you can get your name in the World Records for biggest chain mail, that all your wishes will come TRUE if you send this email to 20 other people! If you don't, "something BAD will happen to you"!!!

Ever gotten those? Are you sick of it? Want a way to combat it?

I say we fight fire with fire. What do I suggest?

I suggest we each send an email to every single person we know--

Wait! Wait! I'm not suggesting JUST another chain letter. THIS is the chain letter to end all chain letters! If we each send about 20 people this email, ALL email chain lettering just very well might stop. I mean, if a person can believe something as stupid as "Bill Gates is sharing his fortune!" then people should believe that they've been duped all these years.

If you want to partake in this, fine. If not, that's fine too. I am. You should too. Enlighten and educate, I say.



SUBJECT: Fwd: This is not your usual chain letter! Please read on...

Hey you guys, I know what you're thinking. Just another chain letter, right? What is it this time? Free money from MIcrosoft? Am I praying for some guy who probably already got better 10 years ago?

No.

Quite simply, I am spreading the word to all of you that 99% of the chain letters you get in your email inbox are false and just plain stupid. Do you want to educate the masses?

VISIT THIS LINK: http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blhoax.htm

You will see which email chain letters are true and which are FALSE and HOAXES! Send this to all of your friends and never more will we be victim to email hoaxes.

Knowledge is power.

Thanks,
XXXXX



Maybe it's a long shot, but I think it might work. Who knows? I mean, crazier things have happened.

[Ben]

Meh.. It's not a bad idea, but I don't think you should bother sending it to anyone who hasn't sent you a chain letter. No point in bothering people who actually think for themselves..

[Fuzzpilz]

Here's a classic:

PLEASE HELP THIS BOY

Hello -

I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You. Billy 'Smiles' Evans, The boy with just a head.
... and a burlap sack for a body.

Maybe it'll help explain the situation somewhat if you send the people responsible something of this kind and make it clear that any chain letter they may receive and feel the urge to forward is very, very unlikely to be more credible.

(and maybe spam will stop being profitable! And maybe pigs will learn how to fly!)

[TerranRich]

Yeah, you're probably right. I should alter it to say "Please forward this to anybody who has ever sent you hoax chain emails or whom you think might be stupid enough to do so."

Hah! The boy with just a head and a burlap sack for a body. Was that a real chain email, Fuzz?

[Pau]

When I read this kind of emails I ask to myself: why they want we to send emails one to each other?

The only answer is that it is a mail adresses collection system in order to send us lots of spam (Credit debts, mortage....). So the best way to stop this is make impossible to collect the adresses. How?
When you send mail to several people use the BCC: (Blind Carbon Copies) line instead of the TO: or the CC:

But the main problem is not technical, it is that people (not very advanced PC users) usually believe everithing is written in the screen: If a pop up window opens and says "you must download and execute this for your security" they will do. I think it's not a problem of lack of intlligence, it's a problem of a lack of internet (and computer) education and critic view.

This happens also with TV, but there is no chain sistem, so we don't care if our neigbour buys the huge air sofa he doesn't need becouse a doctor said it's good for his health on TV.

[Raggit]

Yeah, I agree with Terran.

However, I'm also annoyed with the stinking virus warnings that are false and the ever so retarded "happy" e-mails telling stories about innocent little children teaching us important lessons and dweeb dweeb dweeb.

I wrote this satire of an e-mail (never sent it to anybody) that mocks the little children stories.

[RickJ]

...
Thank You. Billy 'Smiles' Evans, The boy with just a head.
... and a burlap sack for a body.

Dear Billy,

Take my advice and quit while you're ahead  

[MillsJROSS]

Why listen to him any way? He's a noBODY?

But seriously, I just delete chain mail, and send a letter to my friends who do send me crap like that, and tell them not to do it, that I don't appreciate it.

-MillsJROSS

[remixor]

I read this years ago, and this thread prompted me to Google it up:


THE FIVE BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:  

 Chain Letter Type 1:   (scroll down)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



 

 Make a wish!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 



 
 

 Really, go on and make one!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 



 
 

 Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 

 Wish something else!!!
 
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 

 Not that, you moron!!!
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 
 

 Something else!  Quick!!!
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 

 Is your finger getting tired yet?
 
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 

 STOP!!!!  

 Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.  

 Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!  

 Really!!! Here's how it goes:  

 *Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending them stupid chain letter.  

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.  

*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.  

 *10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.  

 *20 to 674, 951 people: 20 to 674, 951  people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.  

 Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
 

                      Chain Letter Type 2  

 Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.  

 You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull.  So go on, reach out.  

 Send this to 5 people in the next 47seconds.  

 Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.  Thanks again!!
 

                     Chain Letter Type 3  

 Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.  This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters.  So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:  

                    Chain Letter Type 4:  

 VIRUS WARNING!!!
 If you  receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not open it.  Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.  It magnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.  It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.  It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.  It will program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number.  So be careful!  Forward this to all of your friends, relatives, neighbors, family,  enemies, plumbers, garbagemen, stock brokers,
doctors, and any other acquaintances!  It's for their own good!  

Thankyou.
 

                     Chain Letter Type 5:  

 Here is a cute picture I drew.
 

.... (\ ......... /)
.... (  \ ...... / )
..... (  \ .... / )
...... (  /<>\  )
...... ( / \/ \ )
....... / ..... \ ..... __
...... ( ....... ) .... (  )
....... ~~~~
 

It is a decapitated angel!!  Heartwarming, isn't it? Send it on to all of your friends so it will brighten their day like it did yours!  If you don't, demon-possessed goats will move into your house and eat all of your socks, leading you to believe that something is wrong with your washing machine because all of your socks keep disappearing.  Have a nice day!!!  

There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the five main types of chain
letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity, send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!!  If you don't, I don't care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it.  Thanks!  

Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it. If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the goatless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. virus will eat up their entire computer) just delete it.  

Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say,  DEATH TO CHAIN LETTERS!!" C'mon you guys, around the world, people are facing the tragedy of a full inbox, and you can't even take five minutes out of your time to forward this letter and help to end the madness? Have some compassion! If you were the one with a full inbox, I'll bet you would want people to do something for you. Please, for the sake of full inboxes everywhere, you must forward this message!!!!!!!!!