I figure what with all the posts about newbie turmoil, cancer, and car crashes, I may as well divulge my problems.
I've been getting sort of depressed. My life is not very tragic at all, but it's the boredom that gets me. I'm homeschooled, and don't have much of a social life outside of my family and neighbors. This summer in particular has been getting me down. Every day my basic options are to be on the computer, watch TV, or just sit around outside. Sometimes it's just so boring that I lose all my energy, and get depressed for a few hours. Right now is one of those times.
All I ever do is wait, but I don't know what I'm waiting for, which is not a good feeling at all. If all you ever do is kill time, then you're probably going get morbid. (That might make a good signature quote, folks.)
I can't think of anything to do. I'd like to meet people, but I don't exactly see kids roaming around in the street. Am I supposed to break into peoples houses and force them to make my acquaintance? Face it, the only true social hotspot for teenagers is the frickin' public school system. Maybe I could hang out near the high school every day and phone in bomb threats. I guess you'd call that "anti-social socializing".
Kids don't have much interest in knowing anybody who doesn't know their friends. I don't really know anybody, so I'm out of luck. I do have a good friend who's in the school system and knows a lot of people, but he's just not reliable and has never really been much help. Plus, he's in Georgia right now.
So there you are. My social life is close to nil, what can I do about it?
If you say "go back to school" I will kill you.
If you have your license, you can go anywhere and meet anyone. Even if it's a one-night relationship, it can still relieve the boredom. I used to meet people at work. All sorts of strange people used to float by with something to say.
why not look for people that are into what you like?
i'm about to look for some peeps who are into comics and drawing them and maybe even making games in my area. The best thing to do I guess is to look for meetings or something, my brother goes to this meeting hall where people show and talk about movies they've made in upstate new york
he's met a lot of people and is shooting a movie with them now
just a suggestion, and the benefits are that it's less like a date, if there's some people there you don't like you can just move away from them and onto someone else
I don't have my license, and if I did I wouldn't know where to go.
And I have no idea how to "look for people that are into what I like". I can't find ANYBODY, let alone people with specific interests.
Use the local newspaper. How old are you, and how old do you have to be to get a license where you live? If you can get a license, but if you have a reason why you haven't yet, no need to explain or reply to what I just said.
I am 16, old enough to get my license. I just haven't taken much initiative yet. And I still don't know where I'd drive to.
Erm... how are you with small talk? Always helps in meeting new people.
I'm not really sure. Don't get to do it much. Besides, people are usually in groups. They have other people to talk to.
I know how you feel. The only person I "hang out" with is a bud that doesnt know me very well. And all we ever do is work. Well my suguestion is to take a bike day. Take a backpack and ride around to some places. FInd teen hangouts. Some I know around here are the local teen club, skatepark, ballfields, ect. Or you could meet a friend online who lives around you. Join clubs, they dont have to be sports. I am in roleplay (D&D) and was in a computer class. Getting a job where other people your age work. Just start talking to people. Only way they will talk back...
put your animutations together and put them on public access... that should get you some local friends
I've already done that a couple times. :) I'm sure people saw them, but nobody contacted me or anything.
Trapezoid,
You have no idea how well I can identify with what you're talking about!!!!
Man, it's like we are clones or something. As you know, I homeschool too, so we're in the same boat.
I have the same problems, being bored and losing energy becuase of it, not much of a social life and stuff. Everything you said makes perfect sense. What to do about it??? I'm looking for the answer myself!
I wish I could help out around the house with stuff but it's like I don't know what to do! I feel guilty for not being very helpful. It's like I'm just kinda taking up space.
Well, all I can really say is I'll be your friend if you'll be mine.
I know how you feel, too. I don't really socialize much around this time either. I go to a public school, so obviously I know people my age, but I'm kind an introvert. Most people like me (as far as I know :P) but they really can't identify with me because I'm such a quiet person. So during the summer I pretty much just stay home. And hang out with my parents.. Yeah, that's right. I don't have my license, either. And I live in the middle of nowhere. And the only person my age who lives nearby is a creepy Emo kid who I really don't like because he keeps singing even though he has a really shitty voice. Phew.. It was good to let all that out. Now back to you: My advice is to harness that boredom into doing something useful. Work on a game. Write songs. Pass your driving test. Breed albino bunnies. I always feel better when I feel like I'm actually doing something. And when you feel better, try what Eric said. Find somebody with the same interests as you. I guess you already did that when you came here.. but.. try again.
Get a job. Bury your mind in activity and earn money whilst at it.
Yeah, I've been thinking about getting a job. The question is... whaaat?
You should really work at a café. There you will meet lots o people.
I think alot of people have similar problems, it's just a matter of getting off your arse and doing something about it, which is probably the hardest step.
Do you live in the middle of nowhere or something?
do you have a dog or anything, walking a dog down a street is a good way to get peoples attention, especially girls.
I don't talk to people much unless I know them or are around other people that know them, I live in a large city so there are always people around, but I rarely just go up to a stranger and introduce myself, sometimes I wish I could.
It's all about confidence and motivation, and probably location, it's easier where there's literally millions of people around, some of them are bound to be friendly.
but as you don't want it to be said, school is the best place to meet friends (or Uni, colledge etc) that will probably be your friends for life, it's that simple. I hated school but loved the social life there. It also helps you to be more confident socialising with people. My closest friends which is about 5, were all people I met through School or Uni, since that time I haven't really made any long term friends, just lots of aquaintences.
Is there any reason you can't attend a school? Distance, expelled, parents don't agree with it, you just can't stand it.
what is homeschool exactly, is it like when Bart stayed home Marge taught him, or does someone come to teach you, or do you just get sent assignments to do?
Do you get a chance to go to colledge after you finish?
back to the present, are there any youth clubs or anything around, do you like playing any sport eg. basketball is fun and anyone can play.
I know you love music, do you play any gigs with Lemon Demon, even just practising, (how many in the band) are there any live bands that play locally, even if they are shit, there's still people around that you will have things in common with.
don't worry too much, your a multitalented person, I'm sure there are plenty of people that would want to be your friend, I guess it's just whether you want to be their friend.
As far as jobs go, anything that is available that you don't think, "I hate doing that" which for me is almost every job I can think of, I'm lucky with the job that I found, and I'm probably one of the only people in Australia that does it.
Record LP's, Tapes etc to computer remove the noise and burn onto cd
also Video to DVD, occasionally people bring in porn too.
Good luck
Great tips, Timosity!
I just wanted to reinforce the fact that it's really important to not get depressed. As Timosity said, get off your ass and do something.
I actually am a bit ill because of depression and stress. It was because of the goddamn army. It got really boring for me in the last few months, seeing the same faces all the time, doing the same things each day. It sucked.
If anyone here has been in army, they should know that it's also extremely stressing in other ways as well. Sometimes you get really pissed off, but you can't do anything about it because it would result in military offence.
These two together, boredom and stress caused me to get a bit ill. It's nothing big, but I really would like to get rid of it. Basically, it's the symptoms of flu, plus dizziness, memory blocks and even kind of twitching of muscles.
Luckily, I've got lots of friends and I even got out of the army about a week ago, so I've started to get better all the time. The symptoms are almost all gone, though it might take a little while for them to disappear for good. Anyway, I've learned that the best way to relieve stress and boredom is to hang out with friends and also do stuff you like. Like, drawing or playing an instrument. Even AGS forums seem to work great for that. One of the best sensations I have got so far have been because of helping someone out. It's weird, but I'm glad it's that way. I probably should hang out more in the Critic's Lounge. :)
Anyway, good luck with finding friends and activity, Trapezoid. Just remember to not get bored and wait for it to go away. It won't, in most cases, unless you do something about it.
You could have become a sivari like me, Pessi :P You could enjoy things like sitting in front of a computer, doing data entry when it's 32C hot in here and 28 outside god i hate this make it stop
Anyway.
QuoteAll I ever do is wait, but I don't know what I'm waiting for
I can relate to that. I was feeling like that last fall/winter. Now I'm looking forward to going to university in a month. Try finding something to look forward to. It really helps.
Yes, walking a dog is helpful. If you let him shit on someone's yard, and don't clean it up, then you'll REALLY attract attention to yourself. If all else fails, you could always move to America.
/me waves his arms frantically while mouthing the word "No" over and over
From my own experience, having a baby has lead to my wife and I meeting a whole load of people who share a common interest (e.g. what kind of poo the baby did this morning, where is the best place to get nipple shields, etc. :) ) And of course, having a baby to look after
keeps you pretty busy in itself.
And now she says "dada" and crawls around at high speed...
The trouble is finding a female willing to let you procreate with her... ;D
Have you tried church youth groups: they are usually very keen on having new members and you can ususally opt out of the most reilgous stuff and just use it as a social club! Or there's sport clubs too.
Thanks for all the tips.
QuoteYou should really work at a café. There you will meet lots o people.
Sounds like a good idea. As I said, I still can't drive, so I'd need to find something within walking distance... which there may not be.
QuoteDo you live in the middle of nowhere or something?
I live on a pretty busy street in a small town, but there still aren't many social thingums in the area.
Quotedo you have a dog or anything, walking a dog down a street is a good way to get peoples attention, especially girls.
I have a dog, but she's old. And too big to be a chick magnet. And she gets enough excersize anyway...
QuoteIs there any reason you can't attend a school? Distance, expelled, parents don't agree with it, you just can't stand it. what is homeschool exactly, is it like when Bart stayed home Marge taught him, or does someone come to teach you, or do you just get sent assignments to do?
There wasn't any particular reason when I first left school, it was my parents' decision and sounded like fun to me. At this point I don't think I could adjust back to public school, because it's just too different.
Homeschooling is different for everybody, and for me and my siblings we like the term "unschooling". It's more like a constant summer vacation, and in recent years especially, it's self-education based on what I'm interested in. It's pretty automatic, but subtle. Just being around the AGS-forums has taught me quite a few things. I don't learn things that the average adult doesn't remember from school.
QuoteDo you get a chance to go to colledge after you finish?
We're persuing it right now. Homeschoolers are certainly allowed into a college.
QuoteI know you love music, do you play any gigs with Lemon Demon, even just practising, (how many in the band) are there any live bands that play locally, even if they are shit, there's still people around that you will have things in common with.
Lemon Demon is just me and the computer. :) My town and the surrounding towns have a pretty interesting youth music scene, but I don't know anybody. I think my aforementioned friend in Georgia just got back though, and he seems to be in two bands (although I've only seen one playing), so I'm going to pester him to let me play keyboards in one.
Quotedon't worry too much, your a multitalented person, I'm sure there are plenty of people that would want to be your friend, I guess it's just whether you want to be their friend.
I do, but it's not that simple. The more friends a person has, the easier it is to make new ones. Therefore it's hard as hell for me.
If you want to build your vocal communication, you could always try saying out-loud what you want to type before typing it. This works better in chat-rooms.
It's not a matter of speaking, it's about having people to speak to.
Just don't start doing drugs or alcohol. They will not stop the sadness/depression, but only make it worse.
Quote from: Trapezoid on Tue 22/07/2003 19:13:43
It's not a matter of speaking, it's about having people to speak to.
Well, as Timosity says, it's a matter of getting of one's arse and doing something.
Question he's asking is what to do.
Become active, not passive.
I know, I know, it's easy to say and hard to do. Hell, I would not be able to do it myself. But it's the best way to get things done.
Well, it's not like he's being passive all that much, he's very productive, but he doesn't get to do stuff with people, which comes down to root of his problems.
And why I'd never let my kids be homeschooled ;)
Yeah, I'm looking for more specific answers, not vague instructions. When someone asks how to get to the supermarket you don't tell them to get in their car and just drive. :P
I have some ideas now, but once again it all comes down to waiting, for an opportunity to use one of the ideas...
How about some volunteer activities? :P
Ugh, look, just walk around and try to strike up a conversation with random people. Talk to them about your interests and what you've done. Maybe you'll impress someone.
Edit: Why aren't you on the forums anymore, OTG? Is it just that you're there when I'm not?
There's nobody to talk to. It seems like 95% of the people in my neighborhood are driving by in cars.
In caaars.
The last piece of advice I can give is: move.
I'm all out of advice now...
If you're planning on going to college, that will help a lot. Of course, you're only sixteen.. So forget that for now :P
Do thinks you haven't done before. Build something, talk to a stranger (as RE suggested), write something down, perhaps a book or something.
Think up something. A plan.
I found out about my local anime club by searching the internet and finding it locally -- I got to meet people and see lots of cool shit on the big screen!
This is what might help:
Open the phone book.
Find a club that interests you. (like a writing club or an art club, anime club, music club, sporting club, etc, etc)
Join it.
If not a club in the phone book, search the internet for a club near you.
If it's a distance away, but a big trip out of it -- something exciting and new -- catch the bus or train.
And join the club and have some fun.
Meet people and find out what they like.
AND CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!
All I've got to say is that booty-huntin' (pirate term for looking for girls to hang out with :P) is really hard in the summer in a college town because everyone's gone home. Sure, I've gone to parties and stuff, but it's mostly guys and girls that don't appeal to me (oh no, I bet OTG will reply with the word picky :P). But this doesn't help you trap; it's just me bitching about my problems.
I think the first step is to get a driver's license. Maybe even get a job or something would be good too... it's a start, but it may help a bit. That's all I got for now, really. I have a hard time meeting new people I care to hang out with anyway :P
SSH's idea of a church youth group is a really good one. They're generally pretty open and friendly and not really as scarey and converty as they can seem. Even if you're not interested in the churchy bit you can show up to saturday night activities and just bum around with a bunch of people. I dunno what it's like wherever you live, but here in Aus. Baptist and Uniting churches are usually the way to go to find youth groups.
Failing that, check a local uni's webpage for clubs. They usually don't mind people joining even if you're not part of the uni.
- Punch
Hmm... Church youth group might be a little akward... dunno. I don't like the idea of "joining" anything, since it can be a bit of a blind commitment.
However, I might look for jobs, or start taking walks more often, etc. My friend got back from Georgia, and he wants me to be in his band, it's just the other members that need convincing. There's a social thing this Friday, with a bunch of local bands playing, including my friend's band (don't think I'll be able to play with them by then, oh well.)
Anyway, thanks for the help, everyone.
Just make sure you won't come up with an excuse to not go watch your friend's band.
I remember when I didn't used to go anywhere on fridays, for example, when my friends were hanging out and drinking and all that. Then once one of my friends practically forced me to go and I've been there with them since then. If it gets boring I'll just call my friends if they're doing anything interesting and join them if they are. You just have to give yourself the first push to get going.
I must admit I'm not getting a whole lot of art done because of that, but right now I just want to do what I really like. And nothing beats hanging out with people.
Well, if you've been paying attention you'd know that I don't exactly have dozens of friends urging me to go hang out with them.
But I am going to go see my friend's band, in fact I think I might even get to play with them on Friday, possibly. So that's promising.
QuoteIf you have your license, you can go anywhere and meet anyone
QuoteI think the first step is to get a driver's license
Er... when I got a car, the only difference I noticed was that people started nagging me to give them lifts everywhere.
I have to say, the notion that having a driving license will somehow magically make you meet people is nonsense - you're more likely to meet people when you're out walking or on the bus, not huddled up on your own in a car.
Probably.
Also, I just saw a kid get hit by a car today. He was ok, but it's not exactly the sort of thing that makes one excited about getting one's license. Unless you're into mowing people over...
Quote from: Robert Eric on Wed 23/07/2003 02:51:51
Edit: Why aren't you on the forums anymore, OTG? Is it just that you're there when I'm not?
I'm not on much, nothing much to read or respond to. I post in crits tho. :P
Quote from: Pumaman on Thu 24/07/2003 22:57:37
QuoteIf you have your license, you can go anywhere and meet anyone
QuoteI think the first step is to get a driver's license
Er... when I got a car, the only difference I noticed was that people started nagging me to give them lifts everywhere.
I have to say, the notion that having a driving license will somehow magically make you meet people is nonsense - you're more likely to meet people when you're out walking or on the bus, not huddled up on your own in a car.
NONONONONO! ._. You use the license as ID to get served in pubs. It has nothing to do with a car. In fact, you don't even need a car. ._.
I don't plan on drinking, though.
Unless the monotony gets to me.
Happy times!
Sorry for the weird post. :)
I just read it over and I must say it doesn't really get my original message through. Heh. I just wanted to encourage you to go. And I'm glad you are going.
Have a good one!
Quote from: OneThinkingGal and ._. on Fri 25/07/2003 00:42:24
NONONONONO! ._. You use the license as ID to get served in pubs. It has nothing to do with a car. In fact, you don't even need a car. ._.
Well if that's the case, it won't help Trapezoid will it, since the drivers license would prove your real age - so surely it'd only help you get served if you were over the legal age but looked young?
i'm not sure i understand qhy you don't want to hear "go back to school"...
i first met most of my friends in school, then i decided to join a sports club with some of them, and made new friends.
when we started hanging out on evenings, i met a lot of people that still are close friends.
so anyway, without school i really don't know what kind of social life i would have, since it really was my starting point. that's why i can't give you any advice other than "go back to school or just wait until you go to college".
oh, and i don't understand how a driving license would help either. the main motivation for me to get one was that i didn't want be public transport-dependent when going out at night, or when travelling far to go to shows.
do druuugs j/k
I mean, i dont get this homeschool thing, whats that, an excuse to do nothing, i dont know anything about it, cuz i dont have it here in my country...Yeah and we can have drivers license only with 18, yeah i know it sucks :(, but, we can have a license for 50cc with 14, and 125cc with 16(i'm talking about bikes :P). Anyway, i think you should atleast go to some activity, sport is the best, and you could try martial arts, or you could just go in a gym...
Anyway, at what age did you leave school?