Titanic II

Atelier · Sat 02/04/2011 21:44:22

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f720MNvOeVc

At first I thought this was a joke but then I realised it's an actual movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1640571/

All I can say is... WHY?

BaptisteTheFool · Sat 02/04/2011 23:26:17

It's an Asylum film. They exploit big-grossing properties by quickly releasing low-budget knock-offs. Though Titanic II is curious in their oeuvre because it wasn't released to coincide with another film. I mean it was over 10 years late to Titanic's success... Their films have a certain charm of their own. Worth checking out some of their titles if you're into trashy cinema. I own, for instance, Snakes on a Train.

Ponch · Sat 02/04/2011 23:29:13

Quote from: BaptisteTheFool on Sat 02/04/2011 23:26:17
Snakes on a Train.

This exists?!?

OH... MY... GOD...

To the Googles!

Babar · Sat 02/04/2011 23:34:09

If that is the case, I'm somewhat surprised they were able to get Bruce Davison...

WHAM · Sat 02/04/2011 23:39:28

Anyone else notice the worried-looking smiley-face on the smokestack on the IMDB poster?

BaptisteTheFool · Sun 03/04/2011 00:01:58

Quote from: Ponch on Sat 02/04/2011 23:29:13
Quote from: BaptisteTheFool on Sat 02/04/2011 23:26:17
Snakes on a Train.

This exists?!?

OH... MY... GOD...

To the Googles!

It's not just snakes ON the train-- there's one that SWALLOWS the damned train.

It's absolutely absurd.

Guybrush Nosehair · Sun 03/04/2011 01:45:56

I remember seeing this on the shelf in Blockbuster a few months ago. All I can say is "Why?"

LimpingFish · Sun 03/04/2011 01:52:05

Tolerance towards Asylum-produced films varies drastically.

I, for instance, have seen only a handful of them, and I think I can safely say that I have reached my limit. Others consume them on a regular basis without any apparent lasting harm.

Peruse their entire oeuvre here.

Dig their rip-off of Battle: Los Angeles, starring not-the-fat-one from Good Burger(!).

veryweirdguy · Mon 04/04/2011 10:23:35

I caught Titanic II on Sci-fi (I refuse to call it SyFy) a few months ago. it was most excellent. It's one of those films where the characters make the most unbelievable and stupid choices, all to further a nonsensical plot.

Example 1: character A and character B are trying to escape the rapidly rising water (SPOILER: the ship sinks.) They notice a supply closet of some kind. Instead of looking for alternate routes, they enter the closet to escape the water.

Example 2: In said closet, they find a wetsuit and breathing apparatus. Noble and self-sacrificing character A gives character B the wetsuit, saying "no point in me having it, I'll drown before the cold kills me." A few minutes later, they discuss the breathing apparatus. Character A: "No point in me having it, I'll die of the cold before I drown."

It's as if the writer had forgotten the story he's written 15 minutes ago.

Titanic II was followed by "Transmorphers: Fall of Man," which was similarly excellent.

I can see why people would get sick of these movies, and I fall right into their trap by watching them, but as long as I only catch a couple every year or so, I can deal with them. They're entertaining to watch with friends.

BaptisteTheFool · Mon 04/04/2011 11:06:51

Transmorphers came out before Titanic II.

Gilbert · Mon 04/04/2011 11:10:05

I wish it were about after the discovery of the long lost sunken ship it is eventually retrieved and refurbished with the most ground breaking technology, so that it is turned into a huge spaceship with a ~~Hadou...~~Big Fashionable Cannon in front of it, in order to battle the coming space invaders. Furthermore, as the original ship was broken into two halves this powerful spaceship can also be separated into two halves during battles and has the ability to have modules of different purposes (such as extended robotic arms, or robotic legs, or caterpillar belts to make it a land ship, or huge chainsaw, or spy satellite, etc.) attached to its middle part.

...what?

Phemar · Mon 04/04/2011 11:31:32

Well, irrelevant of how bad the films, it's still a succesful business venture. So props to the guys at The Asylum.

QuoteThe Asylum's usual budget for a production is reportedly "well under a million dollars", and it typically breaks even after about three months. and have never lost money on a film.

They also have a religious subcompany called "Faith Films," which produces films with a positive christian message.

Lol.

veryweirdguy · Mon 04/04/2011 11:42:04

Quote from: BaptisteTheFool on Mon 04/04/2011 11:06:51
Transmorphers came out before Titanic II.

I meant on the night I was watching, they showed Titanic II, then Transmorphers: Fall of Man. An appropriate combination, of course.

TerranRich · Tue 05/04/2011 03:03:47

Absurd knock-off sequels FTW!!!

Igor Hardy · Tue 05/04/2011 03:54:04

Wouldn't it be super cool if they made Titanic III where the whole luxury ship turns out to be a huge Transformer and the iceberg it hits a giant ice monster!?

I'm not able to come up with a plot to attach to that, but who cares about the plot when the concept is so profound!

Atelier · Tue 05/04/2011 20:36:25

At first I was like "huh" then I was like "whut" now I'm like "woah". The fact Asylum's whole point is to make crappy films puts my mind at rest a little.

Quote from: WHAM on Sat 02/04/2011 23:39:28
Anyone else notice the worried-looking smiley-face on the smokestack on the IMDB poster?

Lol I see that now.