Online relationships... an interesting topic for all ages

edmundito · Mon 23/08/2004 05:01:30

You know, I've been online for a big chunk of my life... 6 years, specially for most of my years as a growing and awkward teenager. A while back, when I was an IRC junkie, I always ran into cases where online people were dating other online people, which I thought was kind of silly and whatnot. I don't mind making friends at all, like the folks I met at Mittens I think I can trust them (except for that Christopher Jones!), but I'm referring to dating and whatnot, and even long distance relationships in general.

I was wondering if anyone else had any experiences with it (through yourself or others) and opinions on the subject. I wonder if anyone on #AGS is dating another person in the channel, from the few girls that exist there (I think I can count them with my fingers

). I've not only seen situations online, but I know people in real life who have gone insane and dropped out of high school for sex with some online stranger (true story). Maybe I'll tell these stories in later replies, if the thread gets pretty popular.

TerranRich · Mon 23/08/2004 05:08:39

Truth be told, I've had two online girlfriends. For a young teenager who had never had a girlfriend previously, it was more like practice in what to say, how to interact, etc. At the time of each of them, I truly thought I loved them. And I might have. It's hard to say, but the next step (after tradng pictures and talkinig a lot) would've been trading videotapes of us, with a message and whatnot. I think it's proof that a relationship is based on feelings and getting to know one another, and not all about physical interaction and sex. I mean, we hardly ever fought. If you both trust the other that they're telling the truth, it can work out pretty well, except for the fact that there might never be any physical interaction and the fact that no one else would understand.

shbaz · Mon 23/08/2004 05:41:19

I was very good friends, if not more, with a girl across the country for a really long time (over 5 years), and eventually I went to meet her. She wasn't anything like what I expected, and despite getting along amazingly well while I was there, afterwards she slowly stopped talking to me.

I wouldn't say we were like an online couple, just very good friends. I used to stay up most of the night talking to her when I was 13-15. Even after that we never lost touch, except after I went to meet her. When I was younger it was sort of a way for me to understand girls on a level that I couldn't with girls at school because of social groups and etc. When I started getting older it was more of a personal interest, because we knew so much about each other it was hard to just seperate and stop talking.

Use caution with such things, because words can be deceitful and true personalities easily hidden. When you're around someone a lot in person you get to know their friends and family (and how they interact), but when you talk to them online or over the phone you have a very one-sided view of the things that happen in their lives and the way they react to them. On a more superficial note, pictures can be photoshopped or deceitfully arranged too... even over five years. $:-\$ I barely recognized the girl.

Ozwalled · Mon 23/08/2004 07:07:14

I had a bit of a thing going on with this one girl online while I was, I believe, in my first year of university. We eventually sent a few letters back and forth (before either of us had scanners) so we could exchange some pictures and artwork (she used to paint for me, the sweetheart that she was). It was an interesting time... but nothing much ever developped from the whole thing beyond that. Save for similar music interests, the fact we're living in the same country and an almost obscene obsession with Dr. Mario, we didn't really have all too much in common.

My younger brother did meet his now ex-girlfrind online, though, and eventually she flew out here to meet him (she lived out in Utah [Western United States], and we live in Eastern Canada. In case you don't know any geography, look at a map and calculate the distance for yourself and prepare to be amazed), crazily, when she was only like 13 or 14 or something (mind you, she was pretty much a certified genious and very mature for her age). They continued to visit back and forth for a bit. She eventually moved East to the State of Maine (whcih one made things easier for them to see each other), but they broke up a couple years back, after six or seven years of (for a lack of a better word) dating.

And as if that's not nutty enough, my older brother met a girl online when he was at university, while the Internet was in its infancy. She eventually flew out to see him from the State of Maryland (or possibly Washington at the time... I don't remember) after they'd talked online and over the phone a lot and exchanged pictures and all that jazz. Anyway, they hit it off really well and (I forget the exact sequence of events) eventually the visits by each of them became more and more frequent. Anyway, eventually one thing led to another, and they got married. And they have been for something like seven or eight years now, I believe.

In a much scarier story, a cousin of my older brother's wife was (apparently) robbed and quite possibly killed by a guy she met online. Last I heard, the investigation was still ongoing, and they never aprehended the guy for questionning.

Andail · Mon 23/08/2004 09:17:15

When I was young and silly (say 16-17) I was very active on the chatrooms, and made many friends whom I kept in touch with for years.
When it comes to dating, I think it happened once or twice. It was just a matter of one-offs, and didn't lead to anything.
Real life is much better!

Babar · Mon 23/08/2004 09:47:45

I had (and still have) a lot of friends that I only met online, but it never developed more than just friendship. A friend of mine from school (in Egypt) started chatting with some guy from Canada, who later on came and visited her. It ended up with her getting married. Even weirder than that is the fact that this was last year, when she was 17.

Toefur · Mon 23/08/2004 10:05:12

I think they can be okay, as long as you don't get carried away [as I have seen a lot of young teenagers do]. I think an online couple should also have plans to be together in person as soon as possible, otherwise I don't think there's really a whole lot of point. Like has been said, what happens if you finally meet up and you just don't get along well?

I met my current girlfriend online. I didn't want to waste any of my time with meaningless 'internet romance' or anything, so I arranged to meet her as soon as possible for the both of us. So I kept myself somewhat distanced until we met up...

So I hopped on a plan one day, flew over there for a weekend to see how things went. That way, if they went bad, I hadn't wasted heaps of time or money on some girl I wouldn't like, and if things went good... I hadn't wasted a good relationship on the internet.

So far it's all still working out... only been two years, though. I admit it does sound kind of lame, "So, where'd you meet your girlfriend?"

"Duhhh... on the interweb, because I have no... social... skills".

I also have a friend who met a girl from Brazil online, he's flown over there twice, and now they're married. Just waiting for her to get her visas so she can come over here, now.

Czar · Mon 23/08/2004 12:07:17

man, i've never heard these kind of stories. It's really crazy to hear this.

The only online dating thing that i am familiar with is the local chatrooms here, where all the people my age from my town come now and then.

I thought that a crazy story was that my classmate had two gf's which he met over the chat, but this... getting married and all.

Loco.

Meowster · Mon 23/08/2004 12:16:38

John Romero met up with and subsequently married a girl he met online.

But they met up in real life first before they started dating.

My opinion on online dating is summed up nicely in the following:

<Mary> Oh, John!!1 I am tingling under the touch of your letters!1
<John1980> Oh Mary, I love the way you take your finger off the shift key but continue to press '1'
<Mary> Take me John. Take me now!
<John1980> I slowly unbuton your blouse
<John1980> *unbutton
*Mary has quit IRC: <ping timeout>
<John1980> MARY!??? NOOOOOO. Fucking Dial Up Connections!
<BOYD1982> dont mind me. i'm just watching.
<Vel> Has anybody played 'Who Wants to Live Forever'?

Privateer Puddin' · Mon 23/08/2004 12:23:06

ahah, that made me laugh out loud, thanks for that

Toefur · Mon 23/08/2004 12:32:15

Hahaha, truly beautiful.

Czar · Mon 23/08/2004 12:33:03

damn, this was good.

Why does that happen when i am not around?

Mr Jake · Mon 23/08/2004 12:34:35

Quote from: Flamboyant PC Salesman on Mon 23/08/2004 12:16:38
*Mary has quit IRC: <ping timeout>

C: obviously because of that shoddy 56k of yours

Vel · Mon 23/08/2004 12:51:15

LMAO, Yufster

DGMacphee · Mon 23/08/2004 12:58:56

Quote from: Flamboyant PC Salesman on Mon 23/08/2004 12:16:38
My opinion on online dating is summed up nicely in the following:

<Mary> Oh, John!!1 I am tingling under the touch of your letters!1
<John1980> Oh Mary, I love the way you take your finger off the shift key but continue to press '1'
<Mary> Take me John. Take me now!
<John1980> I slowly unbuton your blouse
<John1980> *unbutton
*Mary has quit IRC: <ping timeout>
<John1980> MARY!??? NOOOOOO. Fucking Dial Up Connections!
<BOYD1982> dont mind me. i'm just watching.
<Vel> Has anybody played 'Who Wants to Live Forever'?

I think it's better summed up with this: http://www.agsforums.com/yabb/index.php?topic=9059.0

Kinoko · Mon 23/08/2004 15:37:07

While I think "online dating" is generally a bad idea (especially if taken too seriously), I met my partner of... going on 7 years on the internet. I became a part of a good community that were all real life friends and became good friends with this guy for a long time. We talked on the phone a lot and just got to know each other really well over a long period of time before we got real feelings for each other. I went across the country to meet him for a few weeks, and the next year, I moved to QLD and have been living with him since and will most likely marry him once we can comfortably afford it ^_^

I very strongly disagree with people being frivolous with online relationships and assuming it's love just because you want it to be, and not being careful about -really- knowing the person you're talking with. I think as long as you don't TRY to make it happen, take your time, really, truly get to know each other and don't try to be too mushy about it. When I say "take your time", I don't mean "take too long" either because it's not much of a relationship if you don't eventually meet up and do it properly.

So, I guess... I can't say I don't agree with them given my own situation, but it should only be the very start of a proper relationship and it does need a LOT more caution than a normal relationship... starter.

Darth Mandarb · Mon 23/08/2004 16:49:28

I, as a joke with my friend, signed up for Match.com a few years ago.

I met some skanks, and some really wierd women but I actually met a really nice woman.Ã,Â We went on a few dates and really hit it off.

When she first e-mailed me through the program she was out in California and we bounced a few e-mails back and forth, then she gave me her IM name.Ã,Â We spent three weeks of late nights chatting on IM getting to know each other.Ã,Â When she finally came back to Michigan (where I was living at the time (and she was from there too)) we spent another week IMing before we finally decided to meet.Ã,Â She was just as good in person and we had 2 weeks of dating before I left for a vacation.

On this vacation I met Sara (who I know live with in Florida) and I kind of left this match.com woman behind.Ã,Â But I was honest with her and we still talk from time to time.

That was long story ...

Anyway, my point was this; it can work.Ã,Â Getting to know somebody without being physically around them is a whole different relationship dynamic that was actually quite pleasing to me.Ã,Â You know that person very well before you meet them in person.

I didn't really have any terrible experiences with it.

Kinoko · Mon 23/08/2004 17:05:46

Aww, that's actually a really sweet story, Darth ^_^ Glad it worked out in the end.

dasjoe · Mon 23/08/2004 17:22:06

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

SSH · Mon 23/08/2004 18:05:28

dasjoe, that was supposed to be private betweent he two of us.