Hi Everyone A long time ago i had a idea for a project before my posting on here about "dead end Tokyo I had written a concept story design for a game called"Realms Of Mikomi" well one day i found it and suggested to my friends that maybe it would be OK as a role play will needless to say everyone i know is hooked on it show Ive considered turning it back into a game project what I want however is this community's feed back. I will give you a small preview and if interested post here and ask for more :)
Preview:
:the sun slowly but fluidly rises and hits jun in the face slowly he rises out of bed and makes his way down the grad hall filled with hopelessness and despair of the past few months he glances at the most recent family portrait.
With tears falling from his eyes he falls to his knees... he pounds the stone floor with all his might his fist hurts but the stone has a small crack his kingdom on the brink of doom his daughter dieing all on accordance to some ancient Prophecy he stands draws his sword slashes his family painting as hard as he can it falls and breaks...
and he contemplates whether pr not to make that one quick motion...
then he hears a voice echo in his head,,,
"aw poor mortal don't give up hope..."\
Jun: "what would you know of hope"
everything i know and hold dear is gone..
the voice says are they truly gone Jun
Just then a white portal appears out steps ama his wife...
Ama: " Jun are you OK i came to see if your....
Jun looks at her coldly See for yourself
he says
stepping aside to reveal the broken and slashed painting
ama has a shocked look on her face walks over and slowly picks up the painting
Oh dear that was such a nice painting says ama with great sorrow in her voice
Jun says with the same sorrow its from a time long ago a happy time
and with that ama gently takes he husbands hand a places it on her belly button he feels a slight push his unborn child kicks with tears in his eyes he looks up at her and asks
"is this our new hope...
she replies softly
yes my love it is..
For everybody's convenience, here's a supply of spare punctuation and other goods if anyone happens to have run out of their own stash.
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Out of Ts at the moment, sorry for the inconvenience.
I'd like a capital S and a capital B, please.
Anyome out there who can stay on topic thanks both posts have been reported
You reported them? Excuse me while I go snigger to myself in a corner..
They were making a point though; and that point is that your whole post is awkward to read because it has barely any full stops or commas. You need to brush up on your english skills.
You can read it, actually, but not on an empty stomach. I did my best to follow the text, and was a but disappointed that it doesn't really tell me anything. What do you want? You toss us a generic opening for an RPG, as seen in a dozen small variations, but really not enough to say more than: "Yes, it's a bit of story"...
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you need to throw us a bone with a bit more meat on if you want to hear some more serious second opinions.
Oh, and more punctuation would really help.
Taken From Chapter 1: trails
Peace, prosperity, protection. That was all I wanted for the people of my kingdom. Alas all we found was war.
The enemy, my closest friend and ally and the former guardian of my daughter Akemi, Sen. He separated with a large group of his followers to the northern part of the country .The once proud country of Mikomi was split in two. Soon after Sen's separation a war broke out in an attempt to conquer each other. This war lasted for three long bloody years before a ceasefire was called, both armies returned to there territory and kept to themselves for the next 6 months.
As of late however a mysterious force has been pushing its way across my lands and slaughtering and pillaging as they go. I lead my grand army in several attempts to defend against this enemy all of them failing. Realizing that I could not effectively defend my kingdom because of the overwhelming odds against me I decided….that maybe *shivers* I should ask Sen for help. The thought made my spine curl but it was my only option to ensure my peoples continued survival. Not deciding to go myself I sent a mystic impersonation orb to do the job.
Upon the orbs arrival at Sen's walls I finally got a good long look at how Sen's people had held up after the war. The walls stood strong, almost as if there had never been a battle fought upon them. His people, going about there daily lives, as if a war had never been fought, and Sen, sitting on his golden throne, surrounded by his harem. Sen had been the more glamorous king, unlike me. Gold armor, pretty girls, a big army, a unbeatable fortress was all he cared about. Now tapping into the orbs power I spawned my image in front of him.
“Well, well, well…. What do I owe to this pleaser?†Lord Sen smirked.
“Your sarcasm is in the least bit funny†I responded almost instantly after Sen finished talking.
“Then what is it you want then?†a serious look crosses Sen's face.
“I have come to formally request your aid†Sen's face twists in confusion as I said this.
“What? My aid? And why does the “almighty southern empire†need my aid for?†snaps lord Sen with a childish look.
“You won't be so childish when this force comes beating down your door, Sen†I snapped back. Sen's face became angered once again.
“Guards get him!!!†Sen's guards descended on me with swords and spears, all I could do was crack a smile as my image disappears and my mind returns back to my body and castle.
Quote from: The Hero on Mon 24/09/2007 00:04:39
Anyome out there who can stay on topic thanks both posts have been reported
Ishmael, do you have a spare sense of humour on supply?
ha ya sorry guess i should know when to take a Joke but i do need some serious feed back from you guys i know my spelling and grammar is bad and I'm trying to fix it but aside that i really want input on the story
Just put the effort you put into your last story summary into each and every post, and you will build up great respect.
It reads better now, and reveals a bit more, and even sounds interesting, yet I cannot find one unique element here, and I tend to look for that. Not unique in the "never-thought-of-before" way, though, just, you know, some little thing that catches my attention, drags me in. Some little extra.
Seeing that you want to make it an RPG, do tell us about the system you're going to use: Japanese RPG, Diablo-style hackfest, open-ended a la Elder Scrolls? Juding from the story I'd say Japanese style, with fixed characters and heavy emphasis on the plot... It has that FF ring to it, somehow.
Oh no no this will be a interactive story/point and click plot branching game
Quote from: space boy on Mon 24/09/2007 00:44:21
Quote from: The Hero on Mon 24/09/2007 00:04:39
Anyome out there who can stay on topic thanks both posts have been reported
Ishmael, do you have a spare sense of humour on supply?
Sorry, out of stock. :\
The guy said sorry for not taking a joke, so either stay on topic now or pick another thread to be funny guys in!
Is this plot for real?
I'm going to be blunt, this story is boring.
How about you elaborate instead of just being blunt?
Ask and you shall receive, my friend.
Kind of reminds me of those generic fantasy books.
I find the whole thing just bland..
Different armies, then suddenly a mysterious force arrives. Wow?
And then the guy sends an "orb"(?) to his enemy, who is also his friend, ally and former nanny to his daughter...?
Aaaand then Sen refuses, because he's a sassymouthed king, and calls the guards to go after the orb.. or the protagonist.
Did I get this right?
...and sorry for being a bit harsh there.
Ah however it is a very complex story with unique plot twists and its not just about to kingdom at war but the struggle of a king a father and husband you ll find that is not this in your face random generic action story but a dramatic some times comical story his wife Queen Amaterasu(Ama)is heir to the throne of the Celestral(Ces) realm a god like race who watch over all things His daughter akemi has a great power locked inside her and must save the kingdom from this darkness but in doing so she well die "the daughter of a Celestral and a half-bred shall unite the worlds and save all from doom" along the way however you see and feel and hear what the characters feels thus game if it becomes such will have drama love heart break war depression happiness as well as many laughable moments much like the " role play(MSN based) is now
and sen untimely is envious of Jun for having a family and there are a viroty of charters from Tatki Juns former Magic trainer(teacher) who is old and blind but kicks ass hes always trying to teach Jun a life lesson .
right on down to his bitchy yet comical inlays Mada and baba and Mada G(Gee) and much much more its a vast universe which never ends
Are you going to put some minimal effort into your posts now?
I find it insulting that you expect people to read that, let alone comment on it.
It's all very stream-of-consciousness. :-\
Plus, Mikomi make DVD players. I've seen them in Argos.
Mikomi Means hope in Japanese and as for my grammer is notthat i dont put effort in its that my grammerr sucks im workin on it bare with me
But you managed two posts with good grammar, structure and vocabulary, why not doing that each time?
Allow me to introduce two good friends of mine: The Plot Octopus and the Reverse-Engineering Approach To Plots.
Plot Octopus (also known as The Mind Map): Take a blank sheet of paper and write down a central word that sums up your story. Then let it all out, write everything you can relate to any aspect of the story. Make groups: Cast - Good Guys - a) Hero A, b) Hero's Love Interest...
Put that sheet of paper away for a while. Then come back to it, re-read it, and add to it. Try to find elements that duplicate, and remove them. For example, if each good guy is countered by a bad guy, things seem to be a bit out of balance.
This is just a pretty antique way of getting your ideas sorted, but it hardly ever let me down.
The Reverse-Engineering-Approach (aka Dungeon Keeper Method)
Take some important parts of your story and reverse them. This is a pretty radical way of getting rid of clichee and come up with "fresh" ideas. For example, in a typical dragonslayer fantasy, it's "save damsel in distress from dragon". Reverse it, and you get "save dragon from damsel". You don't need to create total opposites, but it helps to find new approaches to hackneyed plots.
Apart from that, I wish you luck. RPG and Adventure don't mix too bad IMO, and with a better plot I dare say you will attract some followers ;) .
Ghost out. Need coffee now.
I think making an adventure game based off of the story developed by your MSN role plays is a decent idea. Hopefully everyone involved in the role play will be interested in helping out and you have a team right there.
I wouldn't worry about people saying your plot is derivative or unoriginal. Especially don't be bothered by Enkerro's rather rude and unhelpful post in which he summarizes your story and adds question marks after each line as if they prove his point. As long as you love the story, it will be evident in the game that you create out of it.
Your story has a workable starting point, and now you need to develop it into something suitable for an adventure game (if that is, indeed, where you're intending to go). That means finding parts of the story where challenges, characters, and events will become gameplay.
With what you've shown of the story so far, I would mostly be worried about making it too epic. You should absolutely not set off to make a game with vast kingdoms and lots of characters. You should plan something small first. Maybe four or five rooms. Let it serve as an intro to your story world, rather than a epic sweeping tale.
First, take a small part of the story. Perhaps the part that you've talked about where the mystic impersonation orb infiltrates Sen's palace and finds it's way, unnoticed, to the king's chambers. Make that small part into a game. That way you have something that you actually can finish with a reasonable amount of work, instead of jumping in and dedicating yourself to something you may never be able to finish.
After you finish this smaller game, it can serve as an introduction to the world for players as you work on something larger. Or, maybe you'll decide not to do something larger, but at least you'll have something to show for your efforts.
Find out how much your friends are willing to help. Agree on the jobs that you each will do. Take on some responsibility yourself, be it writing, programming, or art. And start working. If you don't have anyone who is a stellar artist, don't let that stop you. You're probably not going to be able to find an exceptional artist to work with you until you've proven yourself a bit. Just make your game with simplistic graphics. It doesn't matter how it looks, it can still play well and have an awesome story. If it does. I guarantee you'll find someone who will want to work with you to either redo it with better graphics or help you with the next one.
As for your posts, at least make an effort to place periods in between sentences so that we know when one ends and the next begins. It will make a world of difference.
Good luck on it and let us know when you have something to show.
I've recentlly played a chat room rpg and they are quite a lot of fun if you get into them.
Badside? MAJOR time waster.
The role-play itself is more less complete all i would need is a team with enough interest to help turn it into a game all the logs are recorded and we plan to turn it into a series of novels but we dont need tp do that if i can make it into a game :)
Using fullstops is really not that hard.
Oh, this is based on chat room rpg? I've always wondered how they work. Turning it into an actual game is an interesting idea, but, as people have said, it sounds like an awfully ambitious project.
Vince XII and Ghost have pretty much summed up the most workable approach in dividing your story into more managable bite-sized chunks, which will help enormously when constructing the overall plot.
A solidly made short game, containing introductory elements from your story's universe, will definitely go a long way to generating interest in your project, and might prove a far more effective calling card. :)
EDIT: Are you sure AGS would be the best option for making this game?
Quote from: The Hero on Tue 25/09/2007 22:49:38
The role-play itself is more less complete all i would need is a team with enough interest to help turn it into a game all the logs are recorded and we plan to turn it into a series of novels but we dont need tp do that if i can make it into a game :)
You know, I would start smaller. We've seen all kinds of decent ideas going down the drain because the plans were too ambitious. Take it from me, I know what I'm talking about (hint). Let's see what you got: An RPG-style plot.
RPGs are epic. I mean, like Morrowind-epic. Adventure games are usually more linear, smaller, more compact.
RPGs allow free character development. Adventure games (usually) don't.
So even with a team, you'll have to make some serious decisions. AGS is a great vehicle to transport a lot of games and game types (look at all the abuse in the Non-Adventure section; some of that stuff is brilliant!), but they usually require advanced, skilled scripting. The amount of time you'll have to put into that game- your first game- might wear you out, and you'll have some hard time finding a team with no game on your slate.
So why not take that setting of yours and use it as a background for a small, first game? Show us the world. Make it take place in a capital city with a few, well-crafted locations. Show us some characters. Make a small adventure game.
Then, elaborate.
Then, talk about a series of novels: You can write them, or make them a games series.
All this in good advice: I wish you luck!
Thanks for the great advice however Even a small game for me is hard my strong suit is not art mine is story design and SO the last thing i want(due to experience with other attempts). I hate to have this great epic idea and not have the art skill to accurately represent the world
LimpingFish:
Yes I'm sure becayse all thiygh it will be and is a vast world it will focs on one main charter and his views abd whrm i wrote itO wrote it im adventure style
Art is my strong suit.
I have no idea about lighting, composition or color theory.
We'd be a great team.
scnr. :=
I assume those who offer help are sarcastic
That is most interesting!
When entering this thread, I'm asked for login information to enter www.thexiis.com ! This is fascinating as I know nothing about this site, nor I can get in, no matter how much I'd like to. Furthermore this is the ONLY thread that this is happening, so I have to assume that there is a link somewhere in this thread to that site...
Any ideas anyone?
Or am I going nuts?
It's Vince's site, and I'm getting it too. How strange.
No it's not Vince's site. vince's site is www.xiigames.com , nothing like thexiis. At all! :D and I should know about vince's site, having worked with him ;)
EDIT: Why, it is actually! although xiigames works as well, he's linked his avatar to thexiis.com! Weird... Sorry Simb
It is vince. It's his avatar file. http://www.thexiis.com/media/kissattack1.gif <--- This :)
On topic please XD
Sorry guys. No idea why that was happening. I have three websites, and one, for reasons I won't get into, is chained to a different, extremely crappy host. That site is mostly used for holding random files that I want to distribute, because the host is too unreliable for anything of importance. I don't know what caused this, but I've moved my avatar and sent emails to the support staff.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
And sorry, Branden, for inadvertently hijacking the thread. Although I don't know that there's anything else to say that hasn't already been said a few times:
-Start with something small.
-Don't worry at first about graphics. If it plays well and has a great story, people will enjoy it, and it will help you recruit an artist to either redo the graphics or to help you with your next, larger project.
-Good luck.
Right, back to topic as required.
I still say you should start small. But well, one can hardly make a statement if he himself ignores it ;D
You seem confident about your story. And you seem to have a lot of it. A good story, or even a decent story that is well presented will make half your game I'd say, and a nice presentation can be done with basic scripting.
You're talking about a finished RPG system. Then tell us: How much RPG will there be in the game. Will there be statistics, attributes? Will we be able to buy and sell weapons, armour? Will there be spells? It would be very helpful if you could describe your system or give us a hint if it is based on, say, Fallout, Diablo, Morrowind, D&D.
You say art isn't your strong suit. That's no problem as a matter of fact because, and that's the beauty of the system, art can be improved. Try a character or a background and put it up in the Critic's Lounge. Then we can start to aid you there.
I'm sorry to repeat myself, but you may need to reveal a bit more if you're looking for help.
Ghost, you misunderstand him. He's not planning an RPG. He's planning an adventure based on a role play. Not a role playing game. In this case, the role play was him and his friends creating a fantasy world by acting out characters (hence "role play") over MSN.
Ah, my bad then. I partly blame this bit of information here:
Quote from: The Hero on Tue 25/09/2007 22:49:38
The role-play itself is more less complete
So, no RPG whatsoever?
I think he meant "more or less" which changes the meaning completely. :P
Er, not really. If there is a role-playing system, and that system is ready
(more or less), doesn't that mean that he's going to use it in the game? I referred to the RPG aspect in some of my posts here, and Hero never complained.
I'm confused now :( Hero? Help?
I thought you understood "more less complete" to mean that the RPG system is in production. My bad.
He was saying that him and his friends have finished ("more or less") acting out the world in their chat room role play. Reread his posts, he never said anything about an RPG. He even specifically mentioned that the role play took place on MSN. Maybe I've just talked to him on MSN enough to be able to wade through his poor grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
Though this should have made it pretty clear:
Quote from: Ghost on Mon 24/09/2007 01:32:34
Seeing that you want to make it an RPG, do tell us about the system you're going to use: Japanese RPG, Diablo-style hackfest, open-ended a la Elder Scrolls? Juding from the story I'd say Japanese style, with fixed characters and heavy emphasis on the plot... It has that FF ring to it, somehow.
Quote from: The Hero on Mon 24/09/2007 02:01:11
Oh no no this will be a interactive story/point and click plot branching game
Right then, my bad.
Vince is right as always I, really worried about my art though because i want to give a accurate replication of the world how can i do that with stick people?
My advice is as I said several posts before. Don't worry about the art. Do the best you can, but concentrate on -- first of all -- finishing a game, and -- second of all -- telling your story.
When I went to the Game Developers Conference several years ago as a college student, I talked to as many industry folks as I could. I went to dinner one night with a designer and programmer at a minor development house that has recently been bought up by EA. I told him I had all these ideas that I was saving until I could get a team together. He advised me not to hold back my best ideas.
Show them. Make them. Demonstrate my best ideas to the world. Then, those ideas would eventually get me noticed and help me get the team that I dreamed of. So what if I had already used up my best ideas to get there? At least I would have gotten there. And then I could come up with new great ideas.
If you don't just run with your ideas, you'll just be left alone, with a bunch of ideas and nothing to show for them.
Just make the game.