Is anyone a teacher? Let's crowd source my girlfriend's personal statement!

[Calin Leafshade]

My girlfriend is a newly qualified art teacher and she is looking for work but the market is *very* competitive at the moment and she has had a success rate of 0% thus far. I think this is mostly due to her personal statement. This is the area of the application in which one 'pimps' themselves. Is anyone an active teacher either in the UK or elsewhere who could possibly give some advice? Even if you're not a teacher yourself but perhaps someone else involved with recruitment or HR your input would be appreciated.

The job in question is this one: http://www.leeds-art.ac.uk/home/job-vacancies/vacancies/vacancy/study-skills-tutor/

She is, as far as i can tell, exceptionally suited to the position so we want to have absolutely everything covered to give her the best chance of being shortlisted.

Here is the text in full of what we have so far:

Spoiler

My interest in education and the learning process began when I was diagnosed with Dyslexia. Upon learning more about the condition I began to understand why I had such trouble at school when dyslexia was not routinely identified in students. I realised then that I could perhaps help those in a similar situation to my own and be sure that all learners could be taught inclusively while safeguarding the needs of children and vulnerable adults. This is consequently my main goal as an educator. As someone with fairly severe dyslexia, who has learnt how to deal with the challenges associated with learning difficulties first hand, I feel I am exceptionally qualified for the position.

I elected to study a Fine Art degree at Nottingham Trent specialising in photography and digital art. Immediately after completing my degree I enrolled in a DTLLS course with a view to teach older students in a further education environment.

During my DTLLS course I took part in a volunteer placement at Ashfield Technology College teaching mainly in their Sixth Form. I was responsible for leading and planning lessons in Photography and Art at GCSE, A-Level and BTEC levels. In addition to my main classes I also ran after school and lunchtime sessions for those hoping to achieve higher grades or those who perhaps needed some extra time and guidance. The achievement level of the students in my classes was exemplary and all but one of my students achieved their predicted grade or higher and all but one of my students achieved a C or greater (or the equivalent in their course). Also while at Ashfield School I contributed resources for other staff to use. For instance, at the time the school used a worksheet for photography entitled “The Three Rs”. These were Relationship, Recognition and Realisation. I felt this lacked perhaps the most important part of one's development as a working artist and refined and submitted my own version which included a fourth R; Reflection. My version was adopted by the teaching staff and is now taught in place of the old lesson.

One of my main classes while teaching at Ashfield was a level 2 BTEC class especially tailored for students with learning difficulties. This was certainly my favourite class to teach as I felt that I was not only using my training as a teacher but also my experience in the education system as someone with a learning difficulty.

My primary interest in art lies within the digital domain. As an artist I specialise in digital painting for media projects and have produced works for independent video games. The games industry is the largest entertainment industry in the world and provides a very solid career for those in the creative sector and never fails to energise my students. With this in mind I am currently studying 3D modelling as an artistic discipline with a view to perhaps teaching it when such courses become available. In addition to digital art I also have a love for analogue, lo-fi photography such as Lomography and DIY photography like solargraphs and pin-hole cameras. Sculpture has also been very important to me as an artist as I began my artistic practice with Mod-Rock sculpture at college.

My digital art practise has ensured that I am extremely computer literate with both Macs and Windows PCs. I am adept with practically every mainstream program and more than familiar with many lesser-known ones. These include the Adobe Creative Suite (Photoshop et al.), the Apple range (mainly Aperture) and some other lower-cost alternatives such as Art Rage. In addition to my extensive experience with art packages I can also use office software including Microsoft Office and Open/Libre Office. My work at Ashfield School also taught me to be very at home in their modern VLE.

My own experiences as a student, coupled with my training as a teacher have defined my philosophy of valuing each child as an individual, while not disregarding their part in a community. Students learn best, in my opinion, when exposed to as many learning opportunities as possible. This is especially important when preparing them for later life. A creatively designed curriculum is essential to develop a student's understanding of a subject and the skills they need to apply that understanding. Learning creatively through art and related subjects not only supports sections of the Every Learner Matters agenda but I feel it is also a necessary part of students' education.


I am able to manage challenging behaviour in the classroom but I think it's important to work towards finding the root cause and resolve it for the student. I try to find common ground with students who are disinterested to encourage them to participate in lesson. I also find it helpful to open up the facilities and work with students one to one or in small groups at lunchtimes and after school to help them catch up if needed. I have a student centred approach when teaching, making every effort to support, motivate and encourage the individual learner.

Besides art, I also have a strong interest in literature and I am the co-founder of a bi-weekly creative writing group. My role in the group is to organise our activities for the meeting and to provide pastoral care and motivation to the members. Creative writing can be something of a disheartening process so my services are required almost every week to rally the group. This can sometimes cause tempers to flare but as a resilient leader I am always able to mediate and calm the group. I find my training as a teacher invaluable in this regard.

Continued education is very important to me and I am always eager to pursue new avenues of study whether they are vocational or academic in nature. Following my QTLS (and QTS by-proxy) certification I hope to enrol in a part-time, flexible MA in Education at The University of Nottingham to increase my understanding of the education process. This is a distance learning course and will not reduce my effectiveness in the classroom while studying.

Outside of teaching, I have a strong background in team-based customer service. These positions provided me with skills that are easily transferable into the classroom. My time at a bartender taught me the valuable art of mediation under trying conditions and my time at Ikea, who are famous for their team-based approach, prepared me for working as part of a driven and professional team. My brief stint as a receptionist in a busy veterinary surgery taught me how to be exceptionally organised under pressure.

I would truly welcome the opportunity to help those with learning difficulties as best I can. I am not afraid of hard work and feel I would be an asset to your team.

[close]

EDIT: Updated with grammatical fixes.

[Ryan Timothy B]

SUCKS!! WOULDN'T HIRE HER!!

  (I'm being an ass, I don't actually have a comment)

[AGA]

My time at a bartender

Has your girlfriend discussed all the time she spent at this bartender person?

Aside from that, it looks pretty good.  It's hard to give specific feedback though, given I don't know anything about your girlfriend, so it's hard to know what else she could possibly include.  Would be better to get close friends and family to give advice really.

[Calin Leafshade]

Ha, amusing typo.

I'm really more interested in what colleges actually want to see in a personal statement. This is the 4th or 5th rewrite of it over the last 6 months and we aren't totally sure that we are even putting the right stuff down. I think this is the best version by far though.

[tinyhippo]

I'm a teacher, kids suck though

[Baron]

Maybe headmasters have more time than I do, but to be frank I didn't read all the way through.  Is there any way you can boil the most inspired bits down to one or two paragraphs?  I'd focus on the "have learning problems, understand how it feels, determined to help others" angle, myself.

[Calin Leafshade]

From what I can tell, this is actually considered short for a personal statement. Most actually run more like 2 pages as opposed to this one and a half.

[tinyhippo]

If she really has the skills she mentioned then everything should be golden. Although I don't know how exactly things work in the West, here in Russia it would be plenty.

[AGA]

In the west we are rather more exacting.  For instance, we don't let hippos teach our children; there's a strict humans only policy here.

[tinyhippo]

I already resigned so I can lie in a puddle of mud all day and make adventure games