Stupid babies, all they ever do is cry and keep you up. Well, it no longer has to be like that! It' stime to strkie back and here is what you do:
Get your stereo, and if you don't have a stereo, plug speakers into your CD player, or just use your computer with speakers.
Find the most anti-baby song you have.
Turn the speakers on maximum.
Turn speakers towards baby.
PLAY!!!!
They keep you up, keep them up.
/me turns speakers toward Femme.
;)
actually a better tactic would be just plug a mic into your comp and leave it near their bed, turn the speakers towards them and turn them up... now when they scream it melts their tiny little ears
or just tie a rock to them and play Titanic
Or tie a rock and throw them off Titanic.
Or just tie a rock to them and make them watch Titanic...
(or is that what eric meant...?)
Quote from: Femme Stalk Mode on Thu 22/01/2004 06:26:05
Stupid babies, all they ever do is cry and keep you up. Well, it no longer has to be like that! It' stime to strkie back and here is what you do:
Get your stereo, and if you don't have a stereo, plug speakers into your CD player, or just use your computer with speakers.
Find the most anti-baby song you have.
Turn the speakers on maximum.
Turn speakers towards baby.
PLAY!!!!
They keep you up, keep them up.
??? ??? ??? Why??? Poor babies... You´re cruel sometimes...
Baby soup...
JK... TAHT'S DIGUSTING!
(http://invis.free.anonymizer.com/http://parazite.host.sk/eatbaby.jpg)
Yeah, I hate babies. Fuck babies!
I hate fat kids more though. If i ever have a kid and it turns out to be fat, i'm gunna make it get some exercise and eat properly or shoot it!
Fat kids just repulse me.
But... you loved Andy Penis! ???
I was laughing at him, not with him. And he's not even real!
Oh yeah??
http://www.angrynakedpat.com/network/icf/index.php
Quote
Get your stereo, and if you don't have a stereo, plug speakers into your CD player, or just use your computer with speakers.
Find the most anti-baby song you have.
Turn the speakers on maximum.
Turn speakers towards baby.
PLAY!!!!
I did that once already. I put some really loud screamy linkin park song and made a baby listen to it. I think it liked it. It opened its eyes wide and started some weird dance with raising up and lowering his hands. Anyway, I love babies! You can see that from my avator. Oh, wait, its not there anymore....
I think femme has watched too many "impregnation" sci-fi movies... in fact, Hollywood's view of childbirth isn't an accurate representation at ALL. In the UK NO-ONE uses these bassinets all in a sealed-off room like in movies...
oh, and...
http://www.nspcc.org.uk
and they don't just cry and keep you up. SOmetime they give you the most incredible smile to melt your heart and sometimes...
http://www.pampers.co.uk
And... all of us have been babies sometimes, BTW...
Babloyi still is, if we look yo his avatar... :)
EDIT: now he has no avatar... >:(
http://www.collegehumor.com/?textfile_id=27217
I like babies because if you stack a bunch of dead ones in a pile in your annoying neighbor's back yard, it gets rid of your annoying neighbor.
And clearly SSH IS a baby...
..wait, no he isn't.
...yes he is!
...no
...Yes!
..no.
/me gets dizzy from watching SSH's avatar
I don't like babies who whine constantly. The noise bothers me. If the baby is a quite baby, then I like to play with them and stuff.
But what REALLY annoys me more than anything is a little kid, like a seven year old who is a total brat and cries all the time when they don't get what they want and they are old enough to know better.
Wait wait wait.
Don't you think it would be easier, and more humane, to rock the cradle with your foot?
That's what I did with all my little sisters. I'd leave them in the cradle and just rock it with my foot. I'd be typing and rocking, making coffee and rocking... instead of picking up the cradle, I'd drag it along with my foot. And those babies never made one complaint.
Irish people HAVE to like babies because otherwise they face a life of celibacy or eternal damnation!
New-born babies cry becuase they rely totally on other people for their NEEDs: nappies, food, clothing etc. They literally can't do anything for themselves. You might as well say you can't stand quadraplegic people just lying there as say you can't stand babies who cry...
Older babies and toddlers still cry for those reasons, but as they develop they cry if they WANT something but don't NEED it, but they're still not being bad or selfish: an appreciation of others' point-of-view doesn't come in until 3 year old or thereabouts. You might as well say that you can't stand Autistic people...
From 3 years up, if they cry, they deserve everything they get... ;)
No no no, SSH... Catholic people have to like babies. I'm not Catholic.
See, that's why a lot of my friends don't understand me when I say, "YeahyeahyeahI'mgonnamovetoSanFranciscoandDoubleFineandLucasArtsand
AnimationCollegeandBallyFermotandCollegeisgonnabesoawesomeOhmyGodohmyGOD!!!" Because, besides the fact that a lot of my words and sentences are run-on and difficult to interpret correctly, their version of the same sentence would be, "I can't wait until I get married and I'm gonna have three children two girls and one boy and the first call is gonna be called Ella and we're gonna live in a house with two cars and my husband is going to have a good job and we're going to have two cats and a dog called Foxy."
Imagine my open-mouthed horror.
Quote from: Lili on Thu 22/01/2004 18:34:12
See, that's why a lot of my friends don't understand me when I say,
"YeahyeahyeahI'mgonnamovetoSanFranciscoandDoubleFineandLucasArtsand
AnimationCollegeandBallyFermotandCollegeisgonnabesoawesomeOhmyGodohmyGOD!!!"
Reassuringly, your friends sound pretty normal
Yeah, imagine having two cars IN YOUR HOUSE?
It would make my mouth open with horror, too.
Actually, some folks around the corner from us had a lorry in their house. They live at the bottom of a hill and a lorry was delivering stuff to the pub 20 meters up the hill and must have left the brake off... it smashed through their garden wall and into the house. The house is now being repaired... looks like quite a major job.
Completely off topic... My little sister just pointed to SSH's avatar and said, "That reminds me of Finn and Camille having an argument."
Finn is 21 and Camille is 3.
Quote from: SSH on Thu 22/01/2004 16:11:26
Irish people HAVE to like babies because otherwise they face a life of celibacy or eternal damnation!
As an Irish person, this frightens me severly...
Pirate Jack.. You little fuck.
Since when is being fat a reason to hate someone. If fat people were a race you'd be a racist.
I'm fat.. So what? I act like any other non-fat person does. It doesn't mean I like being fat or that it's good or better to be fat. It's just the way it is.. Don't persecute people because of the way they look unless it was a deliberate choice.
Jesus Chris, some people can be so thick-headed sometimes.
I'm not "fat-ist", LGM. You know we all love you like a fat kid loves cake... ;)
Speaking of babies, I got a little joke for y'all... wanna hear it? No? Well tough turds...
"A woman is in the delivery room, having her baby. The doctor tells her to push, with one final push, the baby comes out.
The doctor lifts the baby up by it's legs and spanks it. Then he twirls it around like a sling, and tosses it out the window.
The woman screams, 'EEK! MY BABY!'
The doctor laughs, 'Just kidding, it was already dead!'"
Ba-dum, tss!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! I'll be here all week.
A baby is born, but this is not a normal baby... his face is angry... suddenly, the baby talks, deeply annoyed:
-Where is my father? >:(
-Shit! A baby who talks :o(Says the doctor...) Come on, bring his father!
The father is taken to the room... the baby suddenly starts to punch his head with his little hands repeteadly, and says:
-Is it annoying, isn´t it, motherfucker??? ;D
In the version I heard, the baby poked his father :D
QuotePirate Jack.. You little fuck.
LGM, you should know betterthan using such a word. Tsk tsk tsk.
QuoteSince when is being fat a reason to hate someone. If fat people were a race you'd be a racist.
Guess what, fatty mcfat fat, fat people aren't a race. And, while, I personally, don't agree with racism. I see nothing wrong with hating fat people. Fat people symbolise laziness. Now naturally, there are those who have conditions, so it's not their fault that their fat.
QuoteI'm fat.. So what? I act like any other non-fat person does. It doesn't mean I like being fat or that it's good or better to be fat. It's just the way it is.. Don't persecute people because of the way they look unless it was a deliberate choice.
But you don't act like any non-fat person (aka, skinny or slim person). And unless you have some condition where it doesn't matter if you just ate celery you'd still be fat, guess what, you choose to be fat. The blame falls fully towards yourself, and perhaps (at an earlier time), your parents for not eating healthy and excersizing. You make that choice, which justifies Lay's oppinion.
QuoteJesus Chris, some people can be so thick-headed sometimes
Obviously, we're not talking about your penis. Speaking of which, how long has it been since you've seen it?
I got a joke for everybody
Q: How many LGM's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 0, since when was it possible for an LGM to screw anything?
Har har har! Fat people are fun to make fun of.
Note: Anything said in my post was only to describe a point, and LGM, while it might be going too far, I have shown a plausable reason for hating fat people. I don't really share this view, but you can't just go make fun of people because they have an oppinion. Also, if you we're to measure Pirate Jacks posts witha sarcasm meter, you'd see he was just joking around. So don't be so quick to take offense, at anything. Even the above...as it was just to make a point.
-MillsJROSS
Quote from: LilGryphMaster on Thu 22/01/2004 21:30:21
Since when is being fat a reason to hate someone. If fat people were a race you'd be a racist.
No no no... You see, semantically speaking, even if fat people WERE a race, if you hated them, that wouldn't make you racist.
You use an incorrect definition of the term 'racist', you see.
If one is "racist", then he feels that his race is superior to all other races. I believe the term you are looking for is "prejudice", as it refers to one's belief that another specific group is inferior to all other related groups.
Semantics, LGM, semantics!
(http://images.ireland.com/focus/health/colin_maples_thumb.jpg)
Look at this kid. He is made of chocolate! But he is trying to run! But he can't run very fast!
Stopping Fatness should be done before this age is reached.
This has been a public service message.
And what makes it worse is he is an apeman.
I agree and disagree with the above points. Unless it's a medical (note that I said medical and not psychological) condition, a person has some say as to whether or not they're overweight. If a person's body is more susceptible to weight-gain than the average person's, it still doesn't mean that they've got no choice in the matter.
However, hating somebody because of this I don't understand. I can't see any logical reason to hate somebody because they're overweight, or even to tease them. If a person's lazy, I know better than to ask them to help me move furniture. If a person's generally an asshole, I won't introduce them to someone I give a shit about. If a person's overweight, I don't have to be attracted to them but I fail to see any way that this affects me (other than various government expenditures to alleviate this common affliction - but let's face it, the government would just allocate that money to something pointless if not that). Nobody forces me to be friends with fat people, to like fat people, to compliment fat people. Some jobs may have exceptions but I don't even have to work with fat people. I don't have any problem with 'em but am amazed at some of the shitty attitudes that surface.
This is a very sensitive matter... I don´t hate fat people, nobody here does, sure, but an extreme obesity can be a serious health problem and bring insecurities to the fat people.
I am not saying that the fat AGSers are insecure, so, there´s no need to people replying "I´m fat and I feel ok" but a lot of people with overweight have it.
Being fat means not fitting in the nowadays beauty standard. Is it fair? No... Could us do something to change it? Sure... But it´s true. :-\
Edit: The funny thing is that, being quite slim, I was quite fat when I was a kid and I feel able to feel both positions... So, if you wanna talk of fat, talk to Nacho... :)
Quote from: Farlander on Fri 23/01/2004 07:59:04
... So, if you wanna talk of fat, talk to Nacho... :)
You mean, "Chew the fat," so-to-speak? ;) Anyway, you bring up a good point. The only overweight people that bother me are those that are insecure to the point where they assume that everybody is constantly judging them. Of course, I feel that way about most breeds of the overly-defensive.
I don't feel that anyone's bugging/teasing me.. The jokes stopped a long time ago.. For the most part.
Most people just accept it and treat me fairly.. It's just sometimes when people come around that say "You're stupid.. You're fat! hah, therefore j00 ares loser." Mainly my brother does that. SO when pirate came along, he reminded me of my brother and I went off on him..
So sorry.. Just don't generalize all fat people.. I eat less than most people my age and they're skinny as hell.. So who knows
Edit: Now realising Pirate is Layabout, it all kinda makes sense now. Layabout never was really a nice person :-p
Quote from: LilGryphMaster on Fri 23/01/2004 12:29:55
Edit: Now realising Pirate is Layabout, it all kinda makes sense now. Layabout never was really a nice person :-p
Lol...
I like fat women. They're chubby, flabby, beefier, and there's more to hug, squeeze, and cuddle with. I wish my wife was fatter. I keep trying to stuff doughnuts and fried chicken down her throat, but she just won't fatten up.
It's good to always have a fat person along. If your plane crashes and you get stranded in the Himalayas without food, the fat person will be the first to go because of heart problems and lack of oxygen, and there'd enough meat on old' Tubby to feed a village. He'd/she'd be a hero. So next time you see a fat person, just think: "That big larda§§ could save my life one day, as well as the lives of those around me."
lol, Migs you're twisted!!! ;)
Migs likes big butts and he can not lie
His other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in their face
They get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz they notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
Migs is hooked and he can't stop staring
Oh, baby Migs wants ta get with ya
And take your picture
His homeboys tried to warn he
But with that butt you got
Makes Migs so horny!
Alrighty, I take that back, lol, DG you're even more twisted!
Nothing wrong with bit butts..
Back to the babies topic, I live in a building where there have been many births lately. Three of four new babies have been added to the countless little humans that keep playing around the front and backyard. Babies don't play there yet, but they will, soon. God! I wish I'll get to live on my own before this turns to be a little human's pool.
Luckily, the walls in the building are thick enough not to hear the babies crying all the time, but we have news every morning about the insomnia oddissey of the parents. :D
Now a joke, though I'm a bad joke teller, specially when it's translated from a bad joke in Spanish:
- How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
- It depends on how hard you throw them.
Umm... that was not nice...
I was once a baby. As soon as I was born I straight away bit my mum's nose off, and then I ran over a cat witha lawn mower. It was funny, cat shreds on the snow.
There is, indeed, most assuredly NOTHING wrong with having oversized hindquarters. If you haven't kept up on the times, big booties are IN! You can't shake a little booty as well as a big booty, and trust me, booty-shaking is becoming more and more important in our society.
I've already taught my 11-month-old this crucial fact. You should see her shake her booty whenever we turn on music with a good beat. It's screamingly funny and disgustingly cute.
Seriously, though, I can see why people find babies annoying. Oh gosh, sometimes I can't stand other people's kids. I mean, WTF? When I go out in public, I don't want to see all these monstrous creatures from the deepest darkest recesses of hell running around screaming and crying and demanding things from their parents and not watching where they're going so you practically trip over them as you're just walking along minding your own business but then you do trip and the kid starts screaming and you get yelled at and blamed for it because, after all, it's just a "poor little kid" who doesn't know anything and YOU should've been watching where you were going!
Plus, some people shouldn't be allowed to spawn offspring, as THEIR kids ruin life for OUR kids. Here I am, trying to teach my daughter good moral values, how to behave, how to be polite. But what's the point? As soon as she gets old enough to go to school, all my years of effort will be negated when she encounters and MAKES FRIENDS WITH the lying, snobbish, ill-mannered, miscreants of juvenilism coming from broken homes that plague the schools. So quite simply, if these kids are running around screwing things up, it's OTHER PEOPLE'S fault, not mine. THAT'S what bugs me.
I think we should all go out and have at least 14 babies so that maybe it'll drag some of us away from this magnet of a pc so we can actually get a life. I MEAN come on people???!!!!
I know, I am at teh beach right now, I could be doing something else like swimming and shoping (I'm such a sharkbait. I wear black and I scratched my knee today)
I HAVE NO LIFE
Zor's right, so, Femme, now that you're at the beach why don't you go and make some babies? ;D
Beach babies end up with webbed feet.
I wish I had a Beach PC.
I wish I had webbed feet
ok so WHY do we want to take revenge on babies?
they're helpless, yet i'm not having any myself...
they make horror movies about a small lifeform talking over your body though a process of alien penitration (men could be alien i guess) they grow in there for a little while then pop out with the most of pain, noise and fuss. (sounds like birth) exept most of us are still alive afterwards. Then these little beings either kill you or take over your brain/ life/ planet/ car....
sounds about right!
and then they get you all sticky, but if someone has taken the trouble of going though all that to have one of the little critters we should not kill them.
SSH i know your point (from page one) we should not hate them because they are helpless everyone even adults need help once in a while!
I just decided that I like babies. Never mind everyone. Go babies! More offspring for all!
(http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/rlussier/Images/Babycha.gif)
The origional dancing baby! :D
Quote(http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/rlussier/Images/Babycha.gif)
This is the first time an internet thread has actually "jumped the shark".