Terran's 4th Annual Look at Future Movies!

[TerranRich]

You couldn't get enough of it last time! And it's coming to get you again. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, itt's...

Time for the Annual Look at Future Movies, with your host, TerranRich!

(For last year's Look at Future Movies, clickaroonie!)

Here are the movies scheduled for release from 2007 onward! If you know of any movies I've left out, or wish to add to what I've posted below, please feel free to do so. I will list the main actors, plot, and organize them by year of release, starting with...

2007

American Pie 5: The Naked Mile
The movie will shift its focus on Adam Stifler, the cousin of Matt and Steve...
Oh, come on now. What next, Crazy Cousin Larry Stifler, the drug-addicted nutjob that lives in his grandparents' basement? It's stretching it now.

Andre: Heart of the Giant
A poor young farm boy from Grenoble, France struggles with his ever growing proportions...
Being a pro wrestling fan, this is a must-see for me. I can't wait to see how Rokki James Hollywood plays the devious Vince McMahon.

Believe It or Not
Believe It or Not picks up with Ripley at the time when he gained celebrity status through a "Believe it or Not" column that chronicled his search for the greatest oddities in the world...
Jim Carrey is in talks to play Robert Ripley. Interesting.

The Butterfly Effect 2
Sequel to the 2003 cult movie in which a person can change the past via remembering their forgotten memories due to blackouts.
The last movie ended and all ends were tied up, I thought. And what, no Ashton Kutcher? What is this, The Fast and the Furious 2 and 3?

Castelvania
This movie focuses on the origin of the eternal struggle between the Belmont clan and Lord Dracula.
Neat! Jonathan Frakes, of Star Trek: The Next Generation fame, is rumored to play the part of the Grandfather. Nothing else, though. I've played the video games before, though briefly.

CHiPs
The adventures of two California Highway Patrol motorcycle officers as they make their rounds on the freeways of Los Angeles.
Woohoo! This is one show-turned-movie I can't wait to see. I never watched the series, but Wilmer Valderrama as Erik Estrada's character? GOLD, I tell ya.

Cinderella III
The evil stepmother conjures up a spell that reverses all of which the fairy godmother did. Everything that she had made (the dress, the horses and the carriage) which were the reasons why and how Cinderella went to "The Ball". So when all the magic is gone will there be a happily ever after all? What will Cinderella do?
What will she do? Keep making sequels, perhaps? Note to Disney: Stop making sequels to old classics! Leave them be and create new ones instead.

Day of the Dead
When the world is overrun by the flesh hungry dead a small group of survivors head to an underground military bunk in a last ditch effort to stay alive.
Mmmmmbbrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiinns!!

Delta Farce
Three bumbling Army reservists bound for Iraq are accidentally dropped at Mexican village besieged by hostile forces.
Anything starring two of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour guys (Bill Engvall and Larry the Cable Guy) HAS to be magic in the making. I don't care who ya are, that's funny right thar!

Die Hard 4
The heroic John McClane (Willis) comes out of retirement to take down an Internet-based terrorist organization.
Retirement? More like a nursing home. Old Man McClane battles Alzheimer's and cataracts to fight terrorism once again! Osama, watch out now!

Dirty Harry (VG)
I reported on this game last year, but I saw previews of it on G4 TV's E3 coverage, and I must say, it looks damn good. I forgot what console(s) it's coming out for. Probably PS3, Wii, and X-Box 360. Meaning I gotta get some money saved up for one of those. Most likely the 360.

The Dukes of Hazzard 2 (V)
Teenaged cousins Bo and Luke Duke spend their first few weeks in Hazzard County get into trouble running outlawed liquor in order to save their Uncle Jesse's farm
Sequel to show-turned-movie. Not the original main actors. Straight to video. 'Nuff said.

Evan Almighty
God (Freeman) contacts Congressman Evan Baxter (Carell) and tells him to build an ark in preparation for a great flood.
Steve Carell returns as Evan Baxter. This time, I don't care that Jim Carrey isn't in it. He's an amazing comedic actor and I can't wait to see this. Last year I reported this as "Bruce Almighty 2", formerly "The Passion of the Ark". But I think "Evan Almighty" fits it perfectly, being a sequel and all.

Fahrenheit 451
A man whose job it is to burn all books questions his actions after meeting a peculiar young woman.
Just like 1984, this was a book I loved, for its dark view of the future. Definitely seeing this one.

Fahrenheit 9/11½
In the wake of the 2004 United States Presidential election, Michael Moore continues to examine what happened to the United States after September 11...
Yes, I know I reported on this last year, but it deserves mentioning again. Say what you want about Michael Moore, I like his stuff.

Fantastic Four 2
Jessica Alba...DROOL...

Fraggle Rock: The Movie
The Fraggles go to Outer Space, far from Fraggle Rock and head on the adventure of a lifetime.
Dance your cares away, worry's for another day. Let the music play, down at Fraggle Rock!

Futurama (V)
Straight to video (V)? WTF? I want this in theatres! NOW DAMMIT!

Ghost Rider
Based on the Marvel character, stunt motorcyclist Johnny Blaze gives up his soul to become a hellblazing vigilante, to fight against power hungry Blackheart, the son of the devil himself.
Cool. Based on a comic book character, starring Nicholas Cage as Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider, Eva Mendes as Roxanne Simpson.

Grand Theft Auto IV (VG)
As announced at E3 (I think). Woohoo!

Hairspray
Pleasantly plump teenager Tracy Turnblad teaches 1962 Baltimore a thing or two about integration after landing a spot on a local TV dance show.
A remake of the 1988 movie. John Travolta as Edna Turnblad? Wasn't that the mother? I hope I'm mistaken...

Halo 3 (VG)
You take the role of mastercheif yet again in the epic conclusion to the halo trilogy/saga.
Yup, definitely getting a 360 now.

Harold and Kumar Go to Amsterdam
Leaving where they left off in the first one, perennial stoners Harold and Kumar head to Amsterdam so the two of them can engage in more adventures just as Harold pursues his budding romance with Maria.
Well, the first movie made me hungry for White Castle burgers, although there are none around where I live. Will the second one make me hunger for Amsterdam pot?

Hitman
Gun-for-hire Agent 47 (Diesel) is hired by a group known as "The Agency" to kill targets for cash.
Vin Diesel as an agent that kills people? Refreshing change of character for him.

Homey the Clown
Apparently, Homie DOES play that. Damon Wayans reprises his In Living Color role of Homey the Clown.

Indiana Jones 4
I may be biased, but I'm curious to watch this one.

Kung Fu High School
An action/comedy set in a high school where cliques and gangs each use different styles of martial arts.
This one caught my eye. No cast yet, but it does sound hilarious.

Max Payne
On a personal mission to avenge the deaths of his wife and child, a troubled DEA cop is framed for murder and finds himself being hunted by the police, the mob, and a ruthless corporation.
I probably reported on this last year, but this does look like it might be good.

Mighty Mouse
Update of the classic cartoon about a mouse superhero who protects his rodent brethren from the tyranny of the cat menace.
Heeeere I come to save the daaaaayyy! Might Mouse is on his waaaaayyyy, it seems.

Monkey's Paw
A man comes home with an artifact that is rumored to grant any wish ... at a price.
I might see this, if only for one strange reason. My cousin Phil used to tell all of us (me, my sister, and our younger cousins) the story of the Monkey's Paw. It eventually involved a door in his basement, which apparently was the Doorway to Hell. It led to Canada.

Mortal Kombat: Devastation
Earth's mightiest warriors: Lui Kang, Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Jax Briggs, and Lord Raiden must fight another evil force bent on the devastation of our world.
Devastation? Yeah, that's what I'll feel if this movie flops.

The Number 23
A man (Carrey) becomes obsessed with a book that appears to be based on his life but ends with a murder that has yet to happen in real life.
Another Jim Carrey movie. Sounds interesting.

Ocean's Thirteen
The continuing criminal exploits of Danny Ocean and his crew of crooks.
OMFG SRSLY WTF! Leave it the f*** alone already, Hollywood! Coming in 2054... Ocean's Thirty-Seven-and-a-Half.

Old School 2
Mitch, Beanie and Frank return for more laughs as they open the fraternity doors to a new generation of college students.
Assuming this doesn't flop (which it can't, thanks to Wilson, Ferrell and Vaughn reprising their roles), this should be awesome. Once it hits your mouth...it's so good!

Pac Man
Um...what? Dammit, I'm not watching this until they release the long-awaited Pong movie! Bleep! ... Bleep! ... Bleep! ... BONG! ........ Bleep!

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Elizabeth is captured by the pirate Sao-Feng, while more problems surface and other rescues must be staged.
Never saw the first two, but heard they were good. Oh, and it spawned a whole flock of Jack Sparrow fangirls.

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
ased on the video game, which follows an adventurous prince who teams up with a rival princess to stop an angry ruler from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy the world.
No. I want a movie based on the first two PoP games, where he has to jump on ledges, drink potions, open doors, and avoid spikes and fallen debris. Oh, and fight random dudes.

Rambo IV
Vietnam vet John Rambo is forced to emerge from his reclusive lifestyle and take justice into his own hands after a girl goes missing
No. Just...no. Stallone will be 61 YEARS OLD when this movie comes out!

Revenge of the Nerds
A remake of the 1984 comedy classic about a group of nerds and outcasts who form their own campus fraternity, to compete with the bullying football frat that dominates the college campus.
What you say? COUNT ME IN!

The Ring 3
Samara returns with a familiar video tape to strike terror again in the third film of the Ring franchise, The Ring 3.
Hmm. Okay. Again, never saw the first two, so I can't talk about this one.

Rush Hour 3
While in Paris, Lee and Carter inadvertantly get mixed up with the Chinese Triad crew.
Do yooouu understaaaand the wooords that are comin' outta my MOUF??! No? Neither do I.

Save the Last Dance 2
Sequel + Not the Original Cast = Recipe for Failure. Or crappiness. You know, the first movie was great, it was actually the first DVD my parents ever bought, having finally given into the DVD craze and eschewed our VCR. But a sequel? Blech.

Scared Straight
As part of the crime-prevention program Scared Straight, a governor's delinquent son is sent to prison for what's to be a short period of time.
Wow. In all seriousness, I was JUST thinking about this movie, when I was into the D's and E's of these movie. It was a random thought, that they should make another show. Now it's a movie. If you don't know what Scared Straight is, look it up. It's a program where troubled teens visit a real prison, where the prisoners scare the shit out of them, in the hopes that they're scared straight, hence the name.

Shrek the Third
When Fiona's dad dies Shrek is supposed to take the crown but Shrek doesn't want the responsibility. So Shrek, Fiona, Donkey and Puss look for a new King. And so far King Arthur is the best they have.
LOL. I loved Shrek 2. Finally, a plot to put with the movie. Sounds great.

The Simpsons Movie
Hah! There's now a quote from the trailer up on the page. All the voice actors are currently recording dialogue for the movie. Eeeeeexcellent!

Sin City 2
It's one of those hot nights, dry and windless. The kind that makes people do sweaty, secret things. Dwight's thinking of all the ways he's screwed up and what he'd give for one clear chance to wipe the slate clean, to dig his way out of the numb gray hell that is his life. And he'd give anything. Just to cut loose. Just to feel the fire. One more time.
Sweet. I loved the first movie.

Spider-Man 3
J. Jonah Jameson Jr. returns from a mission from space with mysterious sample. This sample bonds itself to Peter Parker and gives him enhanced powers along with a new suit. Using his new found powers Peter must face the second Green Goblin, Harry Osborn after Harry discovered Spider-Man's true identity. Eventually Harry seeks help from Sandman, a new villain who was transformed due to radiation from an atomic bomb being tested.

* TerranRich jumps up and down and claps with unrestrained glee!

Tekken
Based on the #1 selling video game, "Tekken" is a high-octane action movie about a young man who discovers he holds a great power and must battle a team of elite fighters who will stop at nothing in order to get it from him.
More videos games turned into movies. When will they release a Grand Theft Auto movie!?!?!?

The Three Stooges
Last year I reported this movie as being centered around three women in some stupid scenario. This time around, the plot has been wiped and nothing is listed for it, other than the Farrelly brothers. That's how I know it's the same project as last year's. I wonder if they realized that their original idea was utter crap and decided to scrap it in favor of something...reasonable?

"Untitled Star Wars TV Series"
A live action television series set between Episodes III and IV.
Live action! Nice! I might tune in for this one.

Under Siege 3: Plane Danger
Casey Ryback is sent on a mission to take out Muslim terrorists who have taken over a flight from Israel to USA.
Steven Seagal should just die. Seriously. He's monotonous in his character deliveries, and I just hate him. It's like he never loses or never gets hurt anywhere. Like seriously, you're going to sit there and tell me that there is NOBODY that can at least hurt Seagal's characters? Pfft.

Underdog
A lab accident gives a hound named Shoeshine some serious superpowers -- a secret that the dog eventually shares with the young boy who becomes his owner and friend.
Theeeere's no need to fear, Underdog is here!


2008

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
The Pevensie siblings return to Narnia, where they are enlisted to once again help ward off an evil king and restore the rightful heir to the land's throne, Prince Caspian.

Ghostbusters in Hell
The Ghostbusters discover a portal in New York City that leads to hell itself, and they must travel through it in order to save the world.
What the hell? Pardon the pun. But wasn't the last movie, like, 15 years ago?

Halo
After they crash-land on an artificial ring-world called "Halo", a marine captain, his surviving marines, and a genetically-and-surgically-enhanced supersoldier called "Master Chief" must find out what the Covenant, the genocidal alien race they are at war with, are looking for on the ring. However, Halo holds more secrets than either side imagined.
About damn time! I cannot wait for this movie to come out!
Trivia: Alex Garland was paid $1 million by Microsoft to write an adaptation of the popular game. Microsoft then sold the script to Universal for $10 million.

LMAO, for some reason.

The Incredible Hulk
Wasn't this already a movie? Apparently the working title was Hulk 2, but it was scrapped for a more similar-sounding title.

Iron Man
Based on the Marvel Comics character, an accident leaves alcoholic billionaire Tony Stark to create a suit of armor to save his life.

Jurassic Park IV
Wheeeeee!!

Knight Rider
Based on the 1982 series of the same name, a lone crime fighter battles the forces of evil with the help of his indestructible and artificially intelligent car.
More Hollywood remakes than you can shake a carburetor at!

Madagascar 2
Looks like all of the original cast are in for this sequel.

Metal Gear Solid
Here's hoping this movie won't make us "feel asleep!" (Original Metal Gear reference)

Scary Movie 5

Sin City 3
On a dark night in Sin City, an ex-Navy SEAL named Wallace saved a young woman, Esther, from killing herself. After a night on the town, she was kidnapped by mysterious people. May God have mercy on those who stand in Wallace's way...
Wow, the plot for this one is already fleshed out.

The Smurfs

Star Trek XI
Hopefully this one won't suck. Pleeeeaaase???

Terminator 4
Arnie needs to do some heavy working out if he intends to reprise his robotic role in two years.

Toy Story 3
Buzz Lightyear is recalled to a factory in Taiwan, and the rest of his toy pals go to rescue him.
I think this was the same plot as outlined in last year's Look.

Untitled Batman Begins Sequel
Batman, DA Harvey Dent, and Lt. James Gordon battle against the villainous Joker.
Wait, wait, wait, wait just a minute. So this is a sequel of a prequel of a sequel of a movie that had a villain in this movie? My head. It hurts.



2009
Captain America
Unassuming Army officer Steve Rogers volunteers for a top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, a superhero dedicated to defending America's ideals.
LOL, I just can't get the Robot Chicken episode out of my head where Ted Turner becomes Captain Planet. I know it's a completely different character, but for a minute I thought it was the same.

The Jetsons
No info available due to IMDb's Nazi-like control over information.

Untitled Superman Returns Sequel
ENOUGH with the sequel-prequel-sequels!!!


And that's it! Discuss!

[BerserkerTails]

Okay, so I decided, to be fun, I'd pick some of your blurbs from last year about movies that have already come out, and make some reactions to them... Here wo gooooo!

Curious George
Will Ferrell stars as The Man in the Yellow Hat, a gentleman who looks after his pet monkey - an inquisitive and wonderful creature whose enthusiasm often gets the best of him.
Starring: Drew Barrymore as ?, Will Ferrel as The Man in the Yellow Hat, etc.
This should be interesting. It's categorized as an animation/adventure, but not a family movie. Neato.

Not catagorized as a family movie? Apparently someone at IMDB really screwed up on that one. If the movie itself didn't put you to sleep, the Jack Johnson soundtrack surely would.

Final Destination 3
Okay, completely different cast this time around. So it's nothing like the first two. Then why make it a sequel? Ask Hollywood.

Well, I loved this one. I was a big fan of the first two, and this one ramped it up even more with interesting characters and even gorier deaths. I don't care if they make a million of these, I'll continue to watch them. So many people rant about how slasher movies suck, but hey, that's the POINT!

Mission: Impossible III
Starring: Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt, Ving Rhames as Luther Stickell, Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, etc.
Nice! I want to see this one, because, let me tell you, the first two kicked my ass!

J.J. Abrams rules. 'Nuff said.

The Pink Panther
A prequel to the 1964 Peter Sellers original film, where the detective must solve the murder of a famous soccer coach and find out who stole the infamous Pink Panther diamond.
Geez, for a second I thought the Pink Panther would actually be in it.

Well... The animated Pink Panther *IS* in the credits sequence... Which, ironically enough, is the funniest/most entertaining part of the film.

X-Men 3
I'm not a big action movie fan, but this one looks okay.

X3: The Last Bland. Seriously, you were bang on for this prediction. X3 was the perfect example of one of those movies that was completely middle of the road okay. Okay fight scenes, okay acting, a couple good lines (Most of Magento's), a couple really bad lines (I'm the Juggernaut, BITCH!). Not one I'd want to see again.

Well... That's all for right now. Always love your look at future movies, so here's to a glorious next year!

[Pet Terry]

gasp

You forgot The Transformers movie! Also found at http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0418279/

[Nikolas]

thanks terran...

I think I'll bookmark this particualr page for future refference...

As for the movies...

spidy is the one I"m looking forward... the rest... dunno...

[Nine Toes]

Quite a comprehensive list you have there, Terran.  Good job.

Well, these are only my thoughts on a few:
Ghost Rider - I saw the preview for this when I saw X-Men 3.  Nicholas Cage wouldn't have been my first choice, but he is a decent actor.  He seemed to pull off his acting quite well in the few moments I saw of him in it.  The movie looks freakin' awesome.  Ghost Rider himself is obviously mostly CG, but I guess that's something that Hollywood wouldn't have been able to do otherwise (without it looking like crap).  I whispered to my girlfriend "We're going to see that one."  She rolled her eyes.

Revenge Of The Nerds - Of all the things to be remade, I never thought this would be one of them.  It sounds like something I might see, I remember some of the original.  I guess I'd have to see a trailer to pre-judge it.  It'd be cool if they got a bunch of modern-day nerds to play in it, like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Morgan Webb and Adam Sessler.   Since we're on this topic, did anyone see the VERY LAST "Nerds" movie?

American Pie 5 - Jesus H. Christ.  Let it go already.  They're obviously going to milk this for all it's worth.  I saw that straight to DVD "Band Camp" thingy with Stiffler's younger brother, it wasn't horrible.  It was somewhat funny, had a lot of hot girls, I guess it was worth a rent.  But one thing is certain, these movies get lamer and stupider every time they make a new one.

[ManicMatt]

Unless I missed it, don't you know that Stallone is also doing a Rocky sequel? Is he in training or are they using CGI on his beer belly? Maybe the new Rambo is inspired by the PS3 metal gear solid game?

A new star trek film? Really? Gotta look into this! I would like it to have the Voyager crew, or a mix of the different series hehe.

Futurama is going straight to DVD because it was DVD sales that caused the program to get the go ahead in the first place, after the series was axed.

Grand theft auto was indeed announced at E3. Microsoft announced it for their 360, saying they have a "strategic partnership" with Rockstar. Sony didn't mention GTA. Weird that, but don't worry, Rockstar read out a statement at the show stating it will be out on both consoles at the same time.

Interesting list there, I had no idea about most of these films, that are so full of unoriginality!

That's a third Pirates ... carribean film? Crikey I don't even think the second one is in the cinema yet over here in the UK!

[cpage]

POTC2 is not out anywhere, I heard they filmed both sequels at the same time.

oh and Terran you missed one http://www.imagi.com.hk/movie/web/tmntm.htm

[TerranRich]

That's right! TMNT!

But yeah I may have missed quite a few movies, because a bunch of them were blocked for some reason unless you were an IMDbPro member. Pfft.

[Evil]

I think the best of the whole list is Ghost Rider. Cage wouldn't be my first choice, but I'm glad it's not Vin Disel or Arnold Swarchenegger. I'm excited to see how this one is filmed. Hopefully a good mix of CG and real life. Because an actual flaming skull would be sweet. The bike on the IMDB page looks sweet too.

[Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens]

Castlevania.  Ah, Uwe Boll and Paul Anderson continue their exploits to defile and milk videogames for everything they can get. 

[jetxl]

Two things:
There are too many remake/sequel/adaptations. I know you only picked out those, but the list is just too long. Why do studios squeeze out every drop of pop-culture for some quick cash. I feel like they don't do anything with the cash, apart from squeezing out more cult classics.

Thing two: You forgot that Bruce Campbell thing.

[[Cameron]]

Vin Diesel is going to murder the part of Agent 47. No pun intended.
I hope when games come out after that they dont make it anything like the movie. Surely they could have got the voice actor of 47 to do the part, they based 47s looks on him. It would have made sense.

[Redwall]

The problem is that Diesel is a big video game fan in general and particularly of Hitman. The film is basically his doing to my understanding. Yeah, it's going to suck.

[Nine Toes]

Castlevania.  Ah, Uwe Boll and Paul Anderson continue their exploits to defile and milk videogames for everything they can get. 

Yeah, I don't trust Uwe Boll after that p.o.s., Bloodrayne.  I heard the game was actually supposed to be pretty good, too.

[Redwall]

It took you until Bloodrayne to figure out Boll was shit? Are you slow or something?

[ManicMatt]

Maybe Bloodrayne was the first film he watched made by Uwe Boll? Sheesh!

Mr. Hyde: Where did you hear that the Bloodrayne game(s) were good? They are average to the extreme.

[Las Naranjas]

Vin Diesel really lacks the essential homoeroticism of the 47 character.


And I'm pretty sure Ghostbusters Go To Hell is one of the cinematic equivalents of Duke Nukem Forever, but then again, so was Superman Returns.

[EldKatt]

Tekken
Based on the #1 selling video game, "Tekken" is a high-octane action movie about a young man who discovers he holds a great power and must battle a team of elite fighters who will stop at nothing in order to get it from him.
More videos games turned into movies. When will they release a Grand Theft Auto movie!?!?!?

I still don't understand why you would take a game that has no story whatsoever and turn it into a movie, a medium where few traits besides the story can be retained. In theory, it's like watching somebody play an arcade game. In practice... well, let me say I find Doom the game more interesting than Doom the movie. And I really didn't like the game.

[big brother]

This list proves that, when it comes to "new" releases, Hollywood is no different than the porn industry.

[ManicMatt]

You'd know better than me big bro..