The Best Worst Movies ever made!

[Akatosh]

I don't think one of you saw it - in fact, nobody except me seems to have seen it - but there is one movie that makes Plan 9 seem like Titanic and Are We There Yet like Grim Fadango...

Game over. The "story" is about some dorky child who, for some reason, was fired by some intelligence agency or something like that and is now working as a... private detective? (OMGWTF moment #1). Anyway. Then, some new video game named *ahem* Game Over releases. They don't say what it's about, but hey, it's just the key part of the story so that's probably not important. So, that dork whose name I already forgot while watching the movie gets in line to buy the game, but trips and loses his (stored in a giant glass jar, if I remember right) money or gives it to a poor child or steps in dog poo or something like that, stopping him from buying that game. Some time later, he is called by that Intelligence Dork Station or WHATEVER they may call themselves and...

Gah, I can't go on. It is too horrible. He gets sucked in that game somehow and ends up with 0.5 lives somehow and rescues the world in the LAMEST POSSIBLE WAY. I tried to figure out what the f*ck that game was about, but... it seemed to be a cross of Mech Arena, Super Mario Brothers, World of WarCraft, Enter the Matrix, Tetris and some other uber-lame games.

Get that movie. Now. It's even supposed to be 3D and ships with these 3D "glasses", but they don't work properly. Big whooping surprise.

[Ashen]

Sounds like Spy Kids 3-D to me. (Game Over is the subtitle.)

I've seen it, the weakest of the 3 by a long, long way but not out and out awful. The worst bad film I've ever seen is Virtual Sexuality, which has the dubious distinction of being the only film I've ever walked out of (and I didn't even pay to see it).

The 'so bad it's good' category, I wouldn't know where to start. Most recently, I guess I have an inexplicable fondness for DOA: Dead or Alive. It's utterly terrible, but mindlessly fun anyway.

[Tuomas]

One movie everyone and then no-one should see is Nemesis 4. It's a story of a slavic bodybuilder woman who finds herself naked in the ruins of Kosovo hunted by kyborgs. Some of them she manages to seduce and kill between her thighs, while others she has to blow up. THis movie is so awful, and it really has only one scene where everything happens. For some reason when I was 14, my aunt's husband bought me this VCR and we accidentally watched half of it with my father.

[Ghost]

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes. That's a classic. Half the time even the actors don't seem to know what they're doing.

Avalon. If I ever saw a bland Matric clone, it was this.

Brothers Grimm. Hilarious, pointless, BORING movie.

Spiders. If you ever need a How-Not-To Guide on making spider horror movies, it's all in there. And even more so in Spiders 2, but with less good special fx 

[Nine Toes]

The Fog - Worst hours of my life right there.

I don't think The Fog is that bad. Not brilliant, but entertaining enough. And not necessarily in a "so bad it's good" way.

Which Fog are you talking about?  The old one, or the newer one?

[Stupot]

Combat Academy was awful, but for some reason I kept watching it so that I knew how NOT to make a movie.
It was supposedly made by the same people as Police Academy, but it's about 12 times shitter than any of them.
It starred a younger George Clooney and is basically about these two tits who get sent to a military academy and don't take it very seriously.  Hilarity, I'm afraid to say, does not ensue.

Going Overboard is Adam Sandler at his worst... He basically plays this guy who really wants to be a comedian but is shit, and spends the whole film  proving just that... that he's shit.  Chuck in some "terrorists" and a scene where his t-shirt keeps changing colour  between shots and you've one of the greatest crap films of all time.

[LimpingFish]

One movie everyone and then no-one should see is Nemesis 4.

I've seen all the Nemesis movies!

The first one is the best, the third one is the worst (it's simply a collection of clips from the second one! Which itself was pretty bad!)

Avalon. If I ever saw a bland Matrix clone, it was this.

I couldn't disagree more.

Off the top of my head, and from too many choices to list, these films are truly awful:

The Last Flight of Noah's Ark

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

Draniac!

Cavegirl

Deadly Reactor

Raging Angels

Any of these films will rapidly kill your will to live.

[Raggit]

Yay, the copy of Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster" I bought off eBay came today!

I'll watch it and fill you in on the horror of it all!!!!! (Though, not horror in the way Mr. Wood hoped it would be, I'm sure.)

[Stupot]

Teknolust

I actually really like this film, but it IS blooody awful, so i suppose it fits the criteria being a good crap film.

It's basically about this genetic scientist woman (played by Tilda Swanton of Narnia fame), who creates 3 clones using her own DNA but to survive they need male semen so one of them goes out and acts real slutty shagging different men and then retrieve the semen from herself after the act and giving it to the other two clones and having a lovely feast.

The science is poor, the acting is worse and on my copy of the DVD, you can barely hear the dialogue, but...
The colours and the direction at times are inspired and I'd watch it again and again even though it's terrible.

Has anyone else seen this film and what did they think of it?

[lo_res_man]

The later Robocop movies, Oh god, so bad... As well this one movie that had Stephen Baldwin in it.Xchange I think  It had a great idea, ( i read a sci-fi book that had almost the same plot, only better) and they did some great special effects at the start with futuristic cars and a nicely handled idea, but then its like they ran out of money or something.the end chase seine is done in an immaculate( so they can't explain its some old relic)  dodge , or maybe ford truck. plus it has Stephen Baldwin, instant shloc-i-tude in my opinion. the idea was great, and there was some good effects and makeup work, but heaven help us it just completely sputters at the end.

[BOYD1981]

Miami Vice is just a terrible and extremely boring movie that doesn't try to do anything original at all, i was so bored with it i didn't even see the ending, but i'm guessing it ended in a gun fight and an explosion.

Revolver: a ridiculously over the top, weird for the sake of it, steaming pile of utter crap that Jason Statham and Ray Liotta should be ashamed of themselves for being in. It never really goes anywhere and is just full of rubbish that doesn't need to be there, like the elevator scenes. They didn't even explain SPOILER

Spoiler

how those two guys escaped from prison

[close]

which was really dumb, i'd rate this in the top 5 worst movies i've seen. But atleast i actually managed to watch this one all the way through unlike Miami Vice, this is just a bad movie, whereas that is a boring one.

[Rui 'Trovatore' Pires]

Buckethead, re Elm Street, I throughly disagree... I agree that Elm Street 2, 5 and 6 are dreadul, but 3 and 4 are good, or at least passable, 7 is surprisingly good despite an arguable ending, and 1 is a classic - I agree that the "trap scene" is a bit out of place, but Elm Street 1 remains a classic, even despite rather flawed acting. I can't in any way consider it a bad film, much less a film that's so bad it's funny. Elm Street 6, on the other hand...

[Blackthorne]

I'd have to say "Dune".

I love that flick, though it's a mess to most.


Bt

[Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens]

Buckethead, re Elm Street, I throughly disagree... I agree that Elm Street 2, 5 and 6 are dreadul, but 3 and 4 are good, or at least passable, 7 is surprisingly good despite an arguable ending, and 1 is a classic - I agree that the "trap scene" is a bit out of place, but Elm Street 1 remains a classic, even despite rather flawed acting. I can't in any way consider it a bad film, much less a film that's so bad it's funny. Elm Street 6, on the other hand...

I have to say 1 and 3 are probably my favorite NoES movies, 3 ranking considerably higher if only for Dokken's fabulous Dream Warrior tune.  Oddly enough, I quite enjoyed Freddy's Dead, though I DID see it at the premiere with my best friend and got to enjoy the 3d sequence at the end.  Elm Street is the only one of the Big Three of Horror (Jason, Freddy, Michael Myers) who had later films that were actually decent imo.  The Halloweens just got worse, and the Jasons remained too similar in content, at least up to Jason's Space Hijinks, aka Jason X.  Seriously though, if you are a fan of Halloween 1 and 2 stay far, far away from the rest, and particularly the new ones.

[Rui 'Trovatore' Pires]

3d sequence at the end?

<mentally replays the end of Freddy's Dead>

Whoa, that would have been something, allright!

[veryweirdguy]

The Fog - Worst hours of my life right there.

I don't think The Fog is that bad. Not brilliant, but entertaining enough. And not necessarily in a "so bad it's good" way.

Which Fog are you talking about?  The old one, or the newer one?

Good point sir. I was referring to the old one - I never saw the newer one. But hey, maybe I'm wrong, it has been a while since I saw it.

[He-Man]

I was taklking about the new one. That was horrible...

I forgot to mention Ninja Terminator.
It's about some ancient ninja statue which is divided into three parts and when a ninja puts all three parts together he gets to be the ultimate ninja - The Ninja Terminator. Meanwhile there is a total unrelated plot going on with some journalist who get attacked by masked ninjas all the time. The plot of the movie make no sense which is funny enough in it self but the crappy acting and fight scenes really makes it all perfect...

The He-Man movie was also very funny because it was so bad. I think it's called Masters of the Universe.
Most of the movies I've seen starring Dolph Lundgren has been pretty shitty. I remember one movie - I can't remember the title though. In a scene he surprises this girl and she says: "Oh, I didn't hear you come." Later on there's a sex scene between the two (of cause) and it ends with the gril saying: "Ah, this time I heard you come..." or something like that. That was so corny I couldn't stop laughing. That movie also had a lot of crappy acting and stunts.

[ManicMatt]

Combat Academy
Going Overboard

You got these in one of those multiple film packs, right? I've seen both of these around the same time, when someone in my family paid.. ooh.. at least a pound for them. They want their pound back.

Has anyone mentioned the Street Fighter movie yet? (Not the brilliant anime one, the one with Van Damme in it.)

[R4L]

Yeah i've seen that movie. They even made a game based off of it!  :o

[ManicMatt]

Ah yes, the game based on the movie based on the game.


Looks like a poor man's mortal kombat.