Well, they've finally done it, they caught you. After a month-long investigation of a number of bodies spread across the rural Southern states, and a harrowing emotional conflict for the lead detective as he finds himself understanding the murderer more than he's comfortable with, your career as the "Alabama Strangler" has come to an end.
For the sheer, disgusting and brutal nature of your crimes, the judge sentences you, of course, to death. However, because the local government in this jurisdiction is heavily sponsored by Rupert Murdoch, your death will be televised, and - even better! - you get to choose your own method!
So, two questions.
1) What method are the fine people at Sky One/Fox going to ensure justice by?
2) What are your last words?
You are a sick sick man.
However, to answer your question ( := ) i think
1: Something very distressing to watch, to illustrate the barbarism of the death penalty. It will likely be very very painful but I would be a martyr for the cause and thus get chicks in hell.
2: "Justice is about rehabilitation, not retribution."
That's like that Simpsons episode where they had "America's Deadliest Executions!" on Fox
"They always save the crucifixions for sweeps week!"
2. To quote the french anarchist Ravachol:
" Yes, I repeat it: it's society that makes criminals and you jurymen, rather than striking them, you should use your intelligence and your powers to transform society. At once you would suppress all crime; and your work, in attacking the causes, would be greater and more fecund than your justice that limits itself to punishing the effects. "
Alternatively:
"Fuck you all, you disgust me, and you're not in the slightest better than me. Also, Rupert Murdoch should be executed."
1: I'd get killed by the ravenous bugblatter beast of Traal( and not be given a towel )
2: "So long and thanks for all the fish!"
1.) Jumping in jet turbine, so as to earn a first place at a cracked list of "goriest deaths ever".
2.) "Joke's on you, motherfuckers! I discovered <something important>, but the plans are encrypted! Hah hah hah!" *pthrrrrrrbt*
Or, alternatively, something pseudo-religious to mess with the conspiracy nuts...
"Watch what happens next... now there is nobody left to strangle the Avatars, humanity is going to suffer an equally gruesome fate... DOWN WITH THE LIZARDS! *shrrrlbt*"
:P
Hm, well if it's going to be on television, then how about make it a text-in electrocution? For every text they get, they up the voltage by one, until eventually the victim is dead!
Oh, hang on, this is me being executed. Death by chocolate, then!
And my last words would probably be "Wolfenstein 3d made me do it!"
You should blame your deeds on Jack Chick :P
I want to be chased off a cliff by hundreds of naked women.
Alternatively, can I go through a bizarre series of puzzles with my memory erased? If I survive the death traps, can I have them back and be forgiven?
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0c/Cube_The_Movie_Poster_Art.jpg)