This is a rather lengthy causerie, and some of its content should not be read while eating.
I have recently grown more and more concerned about my own age. One reason might be that the human body has a biological clock which tells you that if you haven't accomplished anything tangible after 25 years of living, while still being of the conviction that you will one day recieve a certain amount of reckognition for the art you've drawn, the music you've composed and the texts you've written, you had better shift to a higher gear pretty soon.
Ã, Ã, Another reason might be that the nursing home where I work - presently and during all long breaks and holidays (for the sole purpose of surviving, since the only other profession which I can handle, namely teaching, is impossible to practice during said breaks and holidays) - is engulfed with so much negative life energy that if you weren't age concious before, you'd undoubtedly end up being. The only way to successfully deal with it is to surrender and accept that you're just minutes - allright, years - from sharing their destiny, and take the whole thing with a pinch of salt.
Ã, Ã, It seems I can't do this.
Ã, Ã, It seems my method so far has been that of a child; ignore the process of aging and pretend it only happens to other people, pretend that the elderly is of a different race which probably never were young, at least not the way I am young, and a lifetime is such a long time anyhow.
Ã, Ã, But some of them hags are hellbent on letting me know how quickly a life is over, and how they - just like me - thought they would never get old, and while they duly pitied the aged, they could never phatom just how terrible it would be.
Ã, Ã, Well, I have a good imagination. I can't shake it off like the veterans do (those matriarks who've spent twenty years on the ward dealing with elderly of all sorts), instead I suck it up like a wet sponge, and late nights it all comes to me, the image of the terrifying woman who was about to climb out of her bed, with her nearly numb legs over the bed-fence, with her diaper ripped out and spread over the bed, screaming in pain and most of all anger - directed at me, being alone this evening (like many other) - and while I lifted her like you lift an infant to position her back in bed she peed all over my arm, and the stench of infected urine didn't strike me as more annoying as a hair in my soup would. At least not when it happened, that's what it's like being experienced, and I couldn't get angry, firstly because I'm not entitled to, this is my job and I get paid to endure these trials, and secondly because it would just worsen her confusion and rage.
Ã, Ã, The image of another woman, she roams restlessly up and down the corridors, and she's one of those who don't respond well to neuroleptica, and let me tell you, brothers and sisters, you don't want to respond badly to neuroleptica when you're in her situation.
Ã, Ã, A veritable ghost, perpetually tormented by inner demons, so deep into the whirlpool of Alzheimer's that her memory is merely seconds long, but still not deep enough to make her unaware of it, on the contrary she is painfully aware of it, every waken second, and the angst caused by this insight is among the worst I've seen (and I've dealt with her kin for about six years).
Ã, Ã, A couple sits on the balcony, and all they say is "time flies" and synonyms and variations to this truistic sentiment, non-stop, as if they - by this chanting - propelled time itself, and would halt the earth's rotation if they ceased.
Ã, Ã, What is it with old people and time? Why do they all persist to decorate their rooms with all these huge clocks, which tick and tack and toll and tell just how rapidly time passes, second after second, for clocks not only tell how much time has elapsed, but also how much you have left to live.
It's a perversion.
A very good read.Ã,Â
Throughout everybody's life are a number of things you could do, ought to do and shouldn't have done. Thankfully, I'm not painfully aware of aging yet. I do, however, contemplate how I'll feel when I am at the brink (so to speak).
Just about the best think for the elimination of regrets is to gain discipline rather than ambition.Ã, To some it seems to come naturally, they pour their heart and soul into a certain sport, art-form, or career.Ã, To me, at least, despite enjoying several hobbies immensely, once it becomes something resembling work or a duty it starts to lose its charm.Ã, My "ought to's" and "someday I will's" become more and more concretely potential as time accelerates and the years spin by like a gradually quickening carousel, centrifugal force causing this thing or that to fly off into forgetfulness.Ã,Â
On the subject of time, I alternate between avoiding clocks on days/time off and waking up whenever I happen to, and sometimes setting alarms compulsively for as little sleep as I can get away with leaving the utmost opportunity in the day to get things done.
Ah, the curse of aging.Ã, I'll know when I've actually become old when I resign myself to my present course and don't even think about the "could's" and "should's" anymore.
[Actually, Farl reminded me of something I was going to toss in here but spaced out (in too pessimistic a mindset, I suppose).Ã, For the most part, I've just enjoyed life and haven't stressed too much about the things I have or haven't done.Ã, All to often it's the very ambitious or the rather accomplished that die young.]
I have those feelings too. The "I am too old and I haven't archieved anything" feeling must be very common here.
Specially if you have artistical attitudes and you've dreamed with big scenarios, showing your paintings in museums or seeing your book in the list of best-sellers.
But look it in the positive way. You can do many more things than the average population. You paint better than 90% of the population. You sing better than 88%. You can compose and write essays better than the majority of them... Maybe that's not enough for reaching to those people you admire, but it's ok. Your inner life is much richer than almost everybody.
Look at me, I have no driving lisence or finished games, and I am older than you! :) That really makes me feel like an useless person :(
And I wanted to be a profi cyclist. I am just the best cyclist in my town. What should I do? Be sad for not being like Armstrong? Or being happy because I am do sport regullarilly and I am in good shape?
I look to my old school mates and I have the answer: I choose option b) Being happy, of course.
They are fat, bald, they smoke too much... They seem to be more than 10 older years than me.
So... be happy. There will be allways people who is better than you. The point is to attempt to as best as you can be. I won't leave AGS because Mr. C, Helm or Miez are better than me. I will try to improve BECAUSE I WANT, not because there are people who is better (light years!) than me.
As for aging... The point is to have a young spirit... If you do so, you'll realise that time will seem to pass slower. I have been told to be 20 years old, and I am 26. I hope that when I'llbe 50, people will think I am 35, like what happens now with my mom. She was told to be my sister some years ago :).
Do sport, and stop smoking (Did you say that you only smoke in mittens? Good!), it makes your skin seem 5-10, 15 years older.
I think we will be a different kind of elder people than our grandparents. Healthier, and mentally youngier. Let's hope that the Apocallipse knights that kill young people (Road, Cancer, Heart...) do not appear.
And we won't have all that weird objects that they apparently Ã, like to collect, such as big clocks. I think we will be the second generation (after some of our parents) that will have a really yong look while they're old. Do you imagine yourself being 70 years old with a red t-shirt of the Che Guevara, drinking a daikiri in Cuba? I do.
Recently, I picked up a book called "Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai."
Now, I don't know much about Samurai. Really, I just know that Kurasawa films are awesome and Tom Cruise was the last of them. I'm not even what you would call a Samurai enthusiast. I picked it up to help practice Japanese since the book has the original Japanese on one side and the English translation on the other. It is the records of conversations with a Samurai-turned-Buddhist priest that took place over a span of seven years in the late 1600's. It's a series of short passages covering a variety of topics related to what we would call "The way of the samurai" and it's a remarkably interesting read. Your post reminded me of this book because many passages reflect on life and achievement.
Here are two quick passages that relate:
Quote from: Yamamoto Tsunetomo
A certain swordsman in his declining years said the following:
In one's life, there are levels in the pursuit of study. In the lowest level, a person studies but nothing comes of it, and he feels that both he and others are unskillful. At this point he is worthless. In the middle level he is still useless but is aware of his own insufficiencies and can also see the insufficiencies of others. In a higher level he has pride concerning his own ability, rejoices in praise from others, and laments the lack of ability in his fellows. This man has worth. In the highest level a man has the look of knowing nothing.
These are the levels in general. But there is one transcending level, and this is the most excellent of all. This person is aware of the endlessness of entering deeply into a certain Way and never thinks of himself as having finished. He truly knows his own insufficiencies and never in his whole life thinks that he has succeeded. He has no thoughts of pride but with self-abasement knows the Way to the end. It is said that Master Yagyuu once remarked, "I do not know the way to defeat others, but the way to defeat myself."
Throughout your life advance daily, becoming more skillful than yesterday, more skillful than today. This is never-ending.
and:
Quote from: Yamamoto Tsunetomo
Human life is truly a short affair. It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like. But it is important never to tell this to young people as it is something that would be harmful if incorrectly understood.
Personally, I like to sleep. And I intend to appropriately confine myself more and more to my living quarters and pass my life away sleeping.
My wifes grandmother just died a couple days ago, and its been rough. Personally I've always had an issue with aging and the whole dying and rotting in the ground thing....
I'm 27 and I feel much older than I should because I have three kids. I love em, but they can have a toll on a person perception of their age.
I have sympathy for you, as far as your side job is concerned. I spent over fours years working as a supervisor in a jail, and you get to see and confront a lot of nasty sides of humanity on a daily basis....I have become a bit jaded with life because of that truthfully, and have lost much of my compassion for other people...
I know thats different from rest homes, and that I probably might be talking a bit out of topic, but I thought it was relelvant....
Basically, you gotta keep goals, keep healthy, and realize that at any moment any one of us could end up crippled or with a life threatening disease at any moment. Yay!
This is, without a doubt, one of the scariest threads in the entire forums. When I read Andail's post, I thought: "Now, this is EXACTLY how I feel!" I don't know exactly when it started, but I think it's been at least two or three years since I started feeling... well, old. Logically, that's stupid nonsense (I will be 26 in 8 days, but people say I look much younger, like 20 or something, it could be because of my totally weird way of living - I don't smoke, drink (not even beer), I don't even consume Coca-Cola, Pepsi and anything that contains CO2 in general...), but pure logic doesn't make much difference, unfortunately. It starts with a small voice in my head saying "So, what have you done with your life so far?" and the answer to this is one big ugly "NOTHING". I wanted to write a fantasy book when I was in high school - I haven't done it. Haven't even started. I wanted to make the greatest AGS horror game ever - wrote a couple of pages of plans and my inspiration died. Only a year ago I got an idea to start to play a music instrument (bass). So, I bought a guitar and started to practice a bit, it's going pretty slow, but I think in a few months I'll be able to play, well at least passably. I have no thoughts in my head about becoming the new Chris Squire or Steve Harris, of course, but then that syupid voice comes again and says "Hey, loser, you know, when Cream had their FAREWELL concert, Jack Bruce was younger than you! Mwahahaah! And you're only starting now! You're a failure!" I hate small voices in my head. And I haven't even finished my studies. I started in 1998, so if I manage to finish them by the end of this year, it will be 7 years wasted. Oh, not "wasted". Even worse. When it's over, I'm gonna have to lift my lazy ass off the chair and start working. Now THAT's a depressing thought.
So, basically, I don't like being in company of children and teenagers and similar - I get jealous. You know, it's like they are just starting to travel the road I've already finished and some of them will probably do something useful instead of just wasting time, like I did.
Will someone shoot me, please? (Not because of my age, but because of boring the heck out of good people on these forums ;D)
I'm going to live forever.
damn straight!
I've probably had that feeling from time to time but I'm pretty well-rounded most of the time. I don't ignore aging, I know it's happening and I know I'll be old someday and I know that it's not a "forever" kind of someday - it'll happen bit by bit and eventually I'll be 30 and 40 and 50... I don't try to ignore it.
At some point, I think I realised I wanted to look forward to it while simply enjoying whatever age I was. Right now, 22 is great, 23 will be great. 30 will be great when I get there and so on. I don't look back fondly on my childhood or teenage years. I remember at the time thinking it couldn't get any better than 16 and now, I just think, "Man 16 sucked compared to 22!". I'm always learning and gaining life experience and I consider that a measure of my greatness, so I never want to go back. When I'm in my 30's, I'm gonna think, "Wow, I was so naive when I was 20" and it's gonna be the same at 40 and 50 and 60.
I'm always talking about how I can't wait to be in a home, one of those cool ones where I can have tea with the other "old people" my age and talk about how stupid the kids these days are.
One thing I think that allows me to be so positive about aging is that I do take steps NOW to do the things I know will seem important when I'm looking back on them. I procrastinate a lot but I make sure I'm always moving forward even in small ways to achieve the really special things. I try to always remind myself to be good to my other half, enjoying my cat while she's still a kitten, I'm always reminding myself to keep studying Japanese and thinking about what the next important step in my career is.
I made an adventure game and even though I have other adventure games I'd like to make, I know it's more important I get an RPG out of my system. I may never do anything else so I'd like to do the "big Two" before I work on other things. I made a comic and even though I always thought I'd do that forever... doing that one really did satisfy me and I'm rather glad I don't spend all my time doing art anymore. I feel quite satisfied with what I've achieved in that area.
I make sure I don't become one of those people that believes for some reason that they have to climb everest or visit France or bungee jump ... all of which are fine but are just examples of things that people often think they need to do to be a complete person just because other people talk about them.
I think if you know yourself truly, and even in little ways take steps to do the things that truly satisfy you, no matter how silly and small they may seem, you'll be fine. I'm very happy working towards having a home and a happy life with my boy.. er, fiance. I've always thought that if I found out I was dying right now, I could take it well and wouldn't spend my time feeling like a failure in life because of things I hadn't done. I've lived my life the way I feel is right (on the whole) until now so I'm always hovering around a certain level of satisfied.
I've thought about growing old too. When I retire, will I still listen to the same music and wear the same type of clothes as I do today? Or will I automatically start listening to "dansband" and schlager, playing the lottery and the wearing the typical old people clothing. I hope that by the time I grow old there will be a legal option to end my life when I want to incase I have to spend my last years in a bed.
I seriously admire your strength to being able to put up with this job for as long as you have, Andail. I wouldn't even dare consider working at an old peoples home because of the huge responsibility.
Chrille raises a good point, when they were younger, did the current elderly enjoy the things they do now? in 50 years time, will there be a generation of old people listening to the AudioBullies and sporting tracksuits? or do we all eventually turn into the same kind of jumper wearing fogie?
As im only 16, i find it hard to imagine being old, and currently, i long to be older, I wonder when this stops? When do you really start to want to stay the same age?
wow, good post Andail. this really got me thinking. a lot of kids my age would want nothing more than to be older, but at about 30-something people wish they could turn back time.This story is portrayed excellently in the video clip for Good Charlotte's song, The Chronicles Of Life and Death. Like Zooty and Chrille said, in 20 years will i still be doing the stuff that i do now? In 20 years time will i still be able to wolf down an entire pizza slice in 2 bites? Will i still be able to rip on a boorie at Bondi Beach? Will i still be able to feel a thrill when i egg houses, or tell an authority figure (teacher etc) to get bent? Maybe, maybe not.
--Blake
When I was 14, I wished to be in prep school again. Now, that I'm 20, I still wallow in "the old days" of my childhood. But I realise, that one should leave the childhood to the children. Longing for being younger seems to me like stealing the days of playing on the playground, the childhood's days from those, who are children now.
We all grow older, days pass, and the older you get, they seem to trickle through your fingers like sand. It's summer now, and in a few minutes it might be autumn again, then winter, and so on. The only thing, one can do, is to live NOW, to do the things, he wants or has to do, NOW. Write your story you wanted to write, do some sports in the fresh air.
You only have to BEGIN.
cheers
nihilyst
Quote from: Zooty on Fri 22/07/2005 10:29:43
As I'm only 16, i find it hard to imagine being old, and currently, i long to be older, I wonder when this stops? When do you really start to want to stay the same age?
For me, that age was 8 or 9. Man, I'd play with LEGOs all day!
Either that or my current age (which is 21). And I'd still like to play with LEGOs all day.
/me goes and play LEGOs with Gore.
Let's build a Death Star!
I'll just say, aging is something that's unavoided, but because of that, don't take that so seriously. Remember, be happy and don't make yourselves too concerned about past time and how much time left. Though doing that probably can't lengthen your lives, you won't live your own lives in unhappily worries. When you ask yourselves something like: Can i do the same things 20 years from now? Why not stop asking and do it now if you have to?
These kind of things never ends (unless you die):
10 year old: Will mama still give me free candies when I'm 20?
20 year old: Will my sex ability degrade when I'm 30?
30 year old: Can I earn $1M by 40?
...
60 year old: Can I still keep my teeth intact when I'm 65?
65 year old: Can I keep my diabet still under control level until 70?
70 year old: When will I die? Today? Next month? Next year?
You see, actually most of the worries came from yourselves, so why not take it easy? If I get heart disease by 60: Hey! I'm old already, it's just normal! Goodness I didn't die in the car crash last year!
If you can live like that at least you'll be more happy and more productive.
Ans that's just some random rambling from a considerably older member. :=
It's not ageing that makes me feel uncomfortable, it's the mind disabling illnesses (eg Alzheimer's) that go with. I fear ilness, not age and ilness may very well occur while I'm still young.Ã, Aged peopel who are relatively healthy are quite happy. The ones who take their life as it comes, try and find ways to beat fear or loneliness. Sometimes they are more active than me!!
And I hope I'll never ever accomplish ALL my dreams, because that will be the day I'll have nothing to live for ... They say that having all your goals fulfilled is a punishment.
I have achieved nothing important and I'm 29. I have realised many dreams instead. MY dreams, not other people's. And I have more...all of them unrelated to each other, just for the sake of it. I have many half-finished plans, but I'm not worried about it...I'm actually happy about it. What I don't like is the possibility to not be able to think of something new to learn.
Concerns about our age are normal, they show we have an inner self that is not as superficial as we'd like to think...
Gosh, what a thought provoking - yet depressing - thread.
I do know what you're going through Andail. I'm 29 now, and I've known for the last couple of years that I didn't like the way my life was going. The epiphany came about around Thanksgiving last year, when I remarked to my friend Anna about a concert we went to the previous summer. She looked at me funny and said, "Dave, that was TWO summers ago." It totally floored me. She was right. The concert took place over two years earlier, but for some reason I was convinced only a few months had passed. The years were zooming by like an express train and I couldn't find a way to slow it down.
So, I started exploring my options. The main thing I had to change was my job. As much as I liked my co-workers (and as cool as it was to meet Jackie Chan), I had to get out of there before I went crazy. As time went on, I could feel myself turning into one of those bitter, cantakerous old man who complained about missed chances and spoiled dreams. I didn't want to be one of those people. I couldn't.
So where I am now? I gave up everything and moved to Korea to be an English teacher. Was it the right decision? I have no idea. Is this something I'm goin to do forever? Still, I have no idea. Some people are born knowing their passion that they will make into their life's work and career. Alas, not all of us are that lucky. but, instead of lamenting this fact I consider it an opportunity. Since I don't know what that "elusive something" is, I might as well enjoy searching for it, right??
Here's a story that might make you feel better. The aforementioned Anna is in her 40s. When she graduated university, she went to work as a computer programmer and hated it. One day, when she was in her early 30s, she attended a lecture on Eastern medicine and it changed her life. She quit her job, went back to school, and seven years later she started a shiatsu and accupuncture practice. The Anna I see now is a woman who loves her work and goes to her office smiling every day. The lesson? It's never too late to change your life![/b]
You only let the years weigh you down if you let them.
Oh, yea young' ones... you've figured out one of the things that goes up but never comes down is your age.Ã, Every day is a precious gift, so make the best of it.Ã,Â
Never stop striving to improve yourself, never stop chasing your goals and dreams, and when one goal is achieved, reflect upon it, learn from it, savor it like a fine wine... then you're even stronger, more wise and experienced to move onto your next goal.
Being probably one of the oldest members on these forums (*ahem*, 30-somthing... heheh, okay okay Im an "old fart", I didn't wanna get into numbers, but currently I'm 37), I guess I'll give my two-cents-worth to this thread for what it's worth.
Myself, I sort of see my life somewhat as a "book", and each "age" reached like a "chapter" written.Ã, And as each "chapter" in "my book of life" is written, I strive to make each chapter better (or as good) as the previous one, though believe me in my own "book of life", some of the "chapters" were downright miserable and depressing.Ã, Regardless, I learn from each experience, good and bad, and feel that I am stronger for it and able to boldly move onto the next page, and the next chapter... and, if I keep a positive attitude, continue to makes goals and dreams to reach for, accept that time stays still for no man, but still remain young at heart, then overall I enjoy my life and look forwards to each and every day to come.
As you get older, you will realize that time does indeed slip by quickly... and, I didn't want to just sit idly by as time rolled on and then so you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, etc.. you may look back as you get older and think (perhaps regretting) "What if I had done this? What if I did that? I wish I did this and that... I wonder if..."Ã, Ã, So I say that NOW is the day, NOW is the time to get doing something and do, learn, explore and accomplish some goals and dreams that you would like to do.Ã, So, later in life, when you do look back you can say "Hey, I did this.. and I did that!" and feel a sense of achievment and satisfaction for having the determination and positive attitude to have accomplished some things you wanted to and set out to do.Ã, Ã, I also see life and learning and continuing to try to improve one-self and your life, and continue to wanting to accomplish and do more, somewhat as climbing a long ladder.. as much as you've climbed, there's always more to reach for and climb higher.Ã, Ã, And, sometimes in life, you need to seek out and find the right path for you, even if sometimes (in my case) that may lead you far away from home, friends and family.
Really, it's only been perhaps the last few years that I feel "my life has really begun now", and I look back and see that I've accomplished so many goals and dreams (a couple of examples; I've trained in Martial Arts for about 23 years now in a variety of styles, and am a 3rd degree black belt in Jujitsu.Ã, And I can now officially say that I'm a Published Author.) I've seen and experienced so many amazing things (example; as a "Westerner" I've been travelling through and living in Asia the last few years, seeing and doing so many incredible things, and meeting so many amazing people along the way and being fortunate to forge some strong friendships along the way) .Ã, But, I still try to see things with a youthful heart and youthful eyes.. there is still so many more things I want to see, do and accomplish. I still feel oh so young, even though I know that the number on the calendar may say otherwise.
Though I am concious that time goes quickly in my life, and that tomorrow may hold it's own challenges and problems... I try not to overly worry about it... As far as I'm concerned, tomorrow will take care of itself when it comes, so, I best put my energy and focus into today. But of course, not neglecting the future, I continue to makes steps to improving my future life and continue to try and reach out and help others around me.Ã, If I can have a peace, balance, happiness in my own life and in my own heart, then I will then be in a much better position to reachout and help others.Ã, When I can touch another person's life in a positive way, that is a reward in itself for me which I treasure.
Do your best to maintain a good health of body, mind and spirit... and your life will be more enjoyable and rewarding in many ways.Ã, Ã, My Sifu (Martial Arts Teacher) here in Hong Kong is 65, yet, watching him perform his routine, it's like he has the energy, endurance, flexibility and agility of someone half his age.Ã, He looks much younger than his age, and he has such a youthful energy and attitude, and he continues to have goals and dreams that he accomplishes and with more to pursue, with plans to do and accomplish so much more yet.
Myself, I still feel like a "teenager" sometimes, and even though my years are getting on, I still have a youthful outlook and energy. When I train with and teach some of my students who are in their teens or early 20's, they usually end up "huffing and puffing" out of breath and weezing like old men, and me I'm still fresh with energy and tell them "Hey, I'm about twice your age, I should be the one huffing and puffing. Come on, push yourself.".. I can go hours non-stop with exercise long after other much younger people are stopping from exhaustion.Ã, Ã, I'm not trying to brag, I'm just saying that despite my being much old then some of these guys trying to keep up with me, that I most times outlast them, move much faster than them, and physically I feel about as strong, youthful and full of energy as when I was a teenager or in my early 20's.
Here I am in some of my spare time making computer games or playing computer games, I enjoy watching cartoons and anime movies, I exercise 3 to 4 hours (sometimes more) just about every day, my self-esteem, confidence, knowledge and experience continues to improve in my life, and I find myself always wanting to learn more, do more, improve myself and my life more.
This is but one stage of life in this "physical world" of ours, when my body ceases to be, I will not cease to be.. I simply move onto the next stage of life.Ã, In the meantime, as long as I can move and do something, as long as I have energy, attitude and the spirit to do so, I will continue to do as much as I can do and accomplish as much as I can in my time here.Ã, One day at a time, making the best of each day.
I know life is also full of pain and hardships too, with so many unfair and terrible things happening, but if you let it drag you down into a depression (I've been there), then it's a hard hole to climb out of, but with the right attitude you can climb out of that hole and reach for the top of the mountain.Ã, When you do slip or fall down, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, learn from it, and move on.
Remember to think and act positive, and positive things will happen in your life.
Best wishes.
We're not there yet. Not by a million.
The very fact that we're hangin around a forum in AGS, expressing love for games that look a bit old, is the proof that we're alive and young.
Of course we all know that deep inside. Come on, I'm 27 (almost 28) and a have a son 18 months old. While I'm wrtiting music for free here and for everybody else, and let me tell you this is not good for my career in music, everybody else i know, in my kind of age, are working theri asses of for 10-12 hours a day and don't have the time to worry about these things. At most they will get drunk some night and remember the good old days.
This is not healthy.
What good old days?
We do what we want to do. Nobody is forcing us to anything (at least most of the time)
I'm studying (music), working (in a piano bar), caring for my wife and child (cooking, cleaning, even ironing), and I'm expecting a second one to come in middle November. Still, I'm happy as it is. Actually more than happy. Of course I miss LEGO. Actually when my son is older I'll take him to Legoland, bnut that's another story. Hmmm... not really, I will get to enjoy everything I did when I was a little boy through my son.
Maybe this is one of the good things of having kids. You get to take them to the Latest Disney movie without guilt.
My father (aged 69) just retired and he's learned how to use FINALE. Now he's writting music faster than me. And he wants to start piano lessons. Talk about life.
I sympathize but I'm a very "happy to be me" person. There is nothing wrong with aging. It is perfectly natural and healthy.
Bad thoughts come, if you think about road accidents (or any other kind), or children in the Third world. This is sad.
I feel lucky...
Hey, great answers, everyone! I mean literally EVERYONE! Apart from being an extremely interesting read, it actually makes you feel better! Yeah!
One thing that always frightened me was like "When I'm 30, will I still like to play computer games?" Sure, when I was 17, it was "When I'm 20, will I still like playing computer games?" It's similar with other things. I guess I never actually feel old at any moment, but I always think I WILL be old in a few years. Strange. Yet funny. In some bizarre way :)
For Dave: You met Jackie Chan??? Cooooool!
For nikolasideris: Well, I consider having a (happy) family one of the greatest accomplishments you could possibly make, it's even greater than having made the ultimate AGS horror game.
Which reminded me of another way to look at things. I'm (almost) 26 now, and currently my highest priority is finishing my studies. They started when I was 19, so I'm about two years late, which makes me feel irritatingly old in this environment. However, if I finish by the end of this year and start the post-graduation studies, I have a chance to reach a Masters degree before I'm 30, which is pretty much a great accomplishment, so it would make me instantly feel younger.
This thread inspired me to make another serious one, but not now - tomorrow. See you all! ;)
Interesting read, everyone.
Well, I'm probably in the middle age group or so of these forums, I'm 18. Personally, I couldn't be happier with the way my life seems in a state of flux. I've just graduated from High School, and in September I'm going to be starting at University. I'm looking forward to it, and whatever will come after it.
I guess I'm not too afraid of Aging, as I have my parents as a good example. My dad is nearly 50, and he's exactly like myself, only with more geek experience. He loves movies and video games, and hasn't given up the things he did when he was a youth.
I think that when people get older, it's a choice they make. No one says you have to become an old-fart, with lime green pants on, playing bingo all day. I know I'm going to choose to stay the same person, only with an older face. I'll still go see movies on opening night, I'll still pre-order video games, and I'll still make music.
Getting old doesn't have to change anything.
Quote from: BerserkerTails on Sat 23/07/2005 18:43:12
Getting old doesn't have to change anything.
Provided that you are reasonably healthy, mobile and unaffected by dementia and such.
If the above stands, getting old in heart is a matter of choice.
Quote from: BerserkerTails on Sat 23/07/2005 18:43:12
in September I'm going to be starting at University. I'm looking forward to it,
Hmmm, right...
Please report back after your first essay.
<evil, knowing smile>
Just joking, enjoy your studies, have a nice time and an achievable target...
You're always going to get older. Ã, That's never going to stop.
What can stop is your zest for the DAY, and you start worrying about tomorrow. Ã, Then your life becomes about ALWAYS living for the future. Ã, Enjoy the moment. Ã, I'm not talking about freebasing cocaine while driving a stolen Corvette and listening to "The Macarena" - but savor the moments in a day that you enjoy. Ã, If you smoke, enjoy every smoke. Ã, If you drink, enjoy every sip. Ã, If you converse, enjoy every word.
It's like Warren Zevon said just before he died: "Enjoy every sandwich." Ã,Â
Try not to put off too much for "tomorrow". Ã, For tomorrow may never come.
Bt
Getting older is nothing to worry about. At 32, I don't feel different than I did at 22. Of course, it helps that I take care of myself (note to all you people in your late teens and early twenties: Stop the pizza and sodas right now! In a few years, they'll catch up with you and you'll have a hell of a time getting rid of that weight).
Sure, some days I do feel the years a little bit, mostly after I spent an afternoon playing football with friends. But all that tells me is that I don't "bounce" the way I used to. I also can't stay up for three days on smokes and coffee and then expect to recover on just six hours of sleep. And while I know it will only get worse with time, the trade offs are more than worth it.
I have more money than I did ten years ago. I have more freedom. And I have more responsibilities than I used to. Strangely, that last one becomes a positive the older you get. You ever teach a kid to tie her shoes or teach a younger friend to drive a car? It's unexplainably neat and not something you could do when you were a kid yourself.
Best of all, I have the experience that only comes to you through living. I know what is really worth worrying about and what isn't. Things don't stress me out or keep me up a night like they did years ago. I also find people a lot easier to deal with. I used to get mad at people who just seem to exist to make your day as bad as theirs. Nowadays, I wonder if they're just having a bad day (we all have them) or if they're like this all the time (which must be very sad for them).
Best of all, I'm still alive. Over the years, I've lost quite a few friends. When I was in the military, I watched several of my buddies die in the golden years of their youth. That's a real tragedy. A parking ticket isn't. I always knew the difference intellectually, but now I really understand it.
That's the point, really to this rambling post. Getting older can't be stopped anymore than you can stop winter from coming. And while getting being old may not seem as great as being young, it sure as hell beats the alternative.
Everybody here will die eventually (except maybe CJ because we'll keep him alive frankenstein style to keep upgrading AGS) so there's no sense in worrying about it. The important thing is to make the best of everyday you have and not beat yourself up so much for not going on to rule the world by the time you're 25.
Just my two cents.
- Ponch
This is a very interesting read, its just very long and now I am thinking when am I going t get specs
for staring at the pc screen to long :)
I feel like I havent accomplished much as a 20 year old! And I can tell you I have done more in my life
than alot of 25 year old people and in some cases even older. I have dealt with death and I have
learned to deal with it. It made me realise that I should persue what I am passionate about and not
waste my time on things that I will never really be any good at! The point I am making is that most
people moan about alot of things then they go and try and do everything. Saying " I am still young I
can do this and that, oh yes and try this" They always blame everything else and everyone else too!
Lets take myself I could of become a coder when I left school and back then I could code a lil, well better
than anyone else in my school. My point being that I HATED it. Sure that job pays more than mine but
being stuck behind a desk never seeing any people and drinking coffee creeps me out! I love people and
working with people, I like helping them and teaching them. And a desk job just wont cut it.
They awaken on the tender age of 30 and realise that they have nothing! Why cause they were
messing around too much! I do mean proffesionally, they go and do fifty different jobs rather than
what they are pasionate about. So in the end after wasting all there time they are frustrated lazy
and bad tempered and dont even have the heart to persue their passion anymore! So stop kidding
yourself do what you love to do!
I learned something else too, when something sounds to good to be true the salesman must be new :)
Guys life is way too fragile to waste your time on things you dont enjoy! My weekends are tied up with
friends and we have fun! I spend my days at work and my only goal for the day is getting a smile from
everyone I meet.
Dont waste your lifes with should've could've would've and if. The reason you didnt do certain things is
simply because you knew better! Its like Morphues said.. " Know what happened, happened and couldnt
of happened in any other way" Neo " How do you know" Morphues "Cause were still alive"
Ps : If you decided to do it, DO IT 100% there is no 99.9%
Perhaps I'm just overly pessimistic but it seems to me that a good number of posts come from the perspective of those that are actually motivated by things like the "Determination" and "Teamwork" posters. Aphorisms aren't always accurate.
Everyone gets more and more intereseting as they get older. Those who survive have learned from their mistakes and become better. My daughters are constantly getting more interesting as they grow up. And myself, my life experience is more, there are more stories, more ideas, more thoughts. And more bad jokes.
Now Andail has to deal with people, some of whom have lost that ability to grow more interesting and remember what happened to them yesterday, etc. Some will still be full of great old stories of when they were younger that they can remember, but others will not and that is truly sad. I have great admiration for people who take care of those in this condition, and those that you cannot communicate with in any way.
And as for being too old to accomplish things: there are plenty of actors and actresses who didnt start until they were much older, there are many who start a new careeer later in life. There are millions of ways which things can still be meaningful in your life, especially if your introspection is happening when you're under 30, for goodness sake! And even if you're 50, many political careers started then and the world-changing potential there is huge!
So what that I'm too old to become a great athlete, although Linford Christie's successes started at 32. So what that I'm not as rich as Bill Gates was when he was 30. I'm happy and I know that I've contributed at least 2 great things to the world: my daughters.
Arrrghh....this is depressing. Stop berating yourselves on not accomplishing anything in your lives! I hate to sound selfish, but your life is YOURS. Your every decision shouldn't rest on "how can I help humanity". Sure, it's a beautiful thing to help out your fellow human, but no one is going to hate you for looking out for yourself first. As long as you don't do anything to harm others, you should be OK. So you wanna be a coder instead of a heart surgeon? GO FOR IT! You can save as many lives by making people happy with your games/programs as with fixing up their hearts. Your life is not useless because you became an accountant instead of a charity worker. You feel guilty? Ok...donate a few bucks to charity if you want.
About aging, I always thought that a person really becomes "old" when they lose the will to adapt. Anything that changes will influence them negatively: They get depressed if you take away their 50 year old stuff that they haven't used in ages. Their newspaper changes. They have to move. They don't get rice for a certain meal.
And these may very well be those people who were constantly moving about in their youth, meals uncertain, destination uncertain (as they will tell you when discussing "the good ol' days").
I actually greatly enjoy the company of some of my older relatives/parent's friends. They have more time to talk, and are happy to tell you lots about their youth and "how it all was back then". They are the last link to "The old age" with all its (for me) forgotten emphasis on language, customs, behaviour, etc.
I am definitely scared at how quickly time seems to be flying by now. When I was a teenager I always wanted to be older and have more independance. But as soon as you hit your 20's and start to see your friends going bald and developing terminal illnesses, as well as realising that you can no longer fall out of a tree and escape unscathed, that "growing older" feeling certainly starts to emerge.
I'd also though agree with the posts pointing out the advantages of the experience that comes with age. Everything that you do, every day of your life, gradually shapes you as a person... almost always for the better. As the saying goes, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. More life experience gives you more to talk about and generally makes you a stronger character.
I guess the conclusion from all this is to enjoy being however old you are now ... because you'll never be this age again!
Man ... I love getting older! Seriously. I'm just enjoying the ride.
Sure there are changes I must make. I can't run as fast as I used to, I can't have pizza and beer every night of the week, etc. But then there are the benefits of aging. Getting into a serious relationship, thinking about starting a family, focusing on a career, being taken more seriously as an adult ... the list goes on and on.
I like wondering what I'm gonna be like in 10 years. Will I have a family? Will Sara and I get married or will she leave me in the dust? Will I make my first million? It's like a big mystery movie that just keeps unfolding day by day and I'm the lead role!
I look back on my past with nothing but fond memories. Even of the bad times ... because they were few and far between and it is, to my way of thinking, the bad times that really help shape the person you are today. If it weren't for the bad times, you wouldn't cherish the good times!
Like Barbarian said, the past is like chapters in a book. Sometimes I sit back and "re-read" those chapters (especially a few of the more popular ones! ;)) I have some "I wish I had done that" type thoughts, but none that I would consider true regrets. Everything that has happened up to this point in my life has made me who I am, and I would never regret that.
I try to live by the whole, "don't take anything for granted" way of thinking.
Everyday I think of how lucky I am to have a nice home. A beautiful woman that loves me. Family and friends, etc. A job that I love. Sure there's some bad things in there ... but they are FAR out-weighed by the good stuff.
I have this theory about aging ... about why the years seem to get shorter the older you get (tied into Dave Gilbert's statement about that concert). I've mentioned this 'round these parts before (and I think Timosity has a similar thought if I remember correctly):
When you're a 10 year old kid, 1 year is only a tenth of your life thus it feels much longer. When you're 30 years old, 1 year is only a thirtieth of your life. It's a far smaller portion of your life at this point, thus it feels much less significant.
This, as a man pushing thirty, actually REALLY comes in handy if I'm waiting for a movie coming out next year ;)
I don't know if I can really offer any useful insights, as I'm going through a rather reflective period at the moment. However, up until now, my main focus is to enjoy life as much as possible. I am aware of the brevity of life, but this does not make me depressed, it simply prompts me to jump at chances I might otherwise miss by procrastinating. I aim to have no regrets. As Darth Mandarb says, I accept even the parts of my life that weren't so good, because they shaped who I am today. I try to see something positive in everything, and I usually spend most of my day laughing my ass off, and thats no bad thing! It doesn't bother me that I haven't done anything to change the world, because I know that my life has had effects that I can't even begin to dream of. I'm happy if I can even make the slightest difference to someone else's life, but I'll be just as happy if I can make a difference in my own. I may be only 22, but I feel I've lived my life to the fullest, and I'll continue to do so.
First, I cannot believe how you manage to work where you do, And. I have been in such a situation, and it filled me with nothing but a vast empty hole where my soul was. It grew back eventually, but never to it's full extent. I can see how money is crucial and this is what you sacrifice for it, and I admire your willpower and endurance, and don't know what to say about the numbness.
Secondly, the most discussion has been of doing something of your own life, and make something valuable out of it. Family has been mentioned, but mostly as something making your life accelarate even more. But for one worry more about getting a family or not. My professional streak is in a phase of false security. I know that working professionally with art is something you're lucky to be at 30. Up to that, it's struggle struggle struggle, and then work until you literally die. Hey, I've got a decade to make it! My worries lie in the fact that I'll never have kids. Never have an innocent life whose childhood you can fudge up into oblivion, thus causing a vast set of neuroses and psychiatrist bills for. Nor have someone to share my life with. Now, I'm not a total failure when it comes to women, it's not getting them, it's keeping them that's the problem. I have a serious compulsive disorder, and even though I live a living hell, I prefer to the hell of curing them. My girlfriends does not agree. I've had debates around the approrpiateness of even raising kids in my state, and this worries me even more. It is not a race against your life in the same sense, but for me, living a full life and living it to the fullest is also getting a family. And I really don't care if I'm a professional artist when I die, as long as my loved ones are around me.