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Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: Peter Thomas on Mon 09/05/2005 06:13:30

Title: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Peter Thomas on Mon 09/05/2005 06:13:30
Right, so... I'm feeling rather awkward explaining why I'm even asking this.

Well, a friend of mine recently moved, and we figured since we couldn't geographically be together, it would be easier if we chatted, but she absolutely refuses to use msn, so I downloaded yahoo messenger.

Of course, interest got the better of me and I ventured into the chat rooms. It was purely to check the place out, and see if there were as many "63/m/cali hairy dads" as are rumoured. I popped into a gay chatroom and - amidst all the "c2c?" and "wanna be tied up?" invitations which I kindly turned down - I actually got chatting to 23 year old guy, and found out he only lived about an hour away from me.

This only happened on Friday night, and I talked to him again last night. Both occassions we were up chatting into the wee hours of the morning. Now, don't get me wrong - I was purely looking for friendship, and I'm not trying to get this guy to fall in love with me or whatever whatever. This is not to say I am against the possibility of anything happening, just that I'm not about to pretend I'm in love with a guy I barely know. We exchanged numbers and he called me just to say "goodnight".

Anyway, this wasn't meant to turn into a love story (it ISN'T, let me stress. Again, all I'm there for is friendship). I'm just interested in what other people have learned from 'net relationships'. Have you had a good experience? Been badly burned by them? Not looking for advice, just hoping to hear someone else with exciting stories...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: shbaz on Mon 09/05/2005 06:36:26
Didn't work. Twice.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: edmundito on Mon 09/05/2005 07:25:50
I would not recommend it, unless such person lived in the same city and you could actually meet all the time. Or permanently move. The infamous Yahtzee moved all the way from England to somewhere in Brisbane, Australia.

I happen to know a couple of people who have this online relationship since like they were 14-15, and I think it's done to them more harm than good. They're constantly fighting but  because they have this weird thing over the time they've tried to keep the relationship going, plus they feel socially awkward since they spent like 5 years on the net away from everybody only talking to themselves. So, they break up, realize that no one out there who knows them as well as each other do, and they get back together. It's like one of those vicious cycles.

The only online relationships I would approve is with people who live in the same area and I can hang out with. For example, I kind of knew some people in high school, but we really got to a trusting friendship after I got their IM names and talked to them.

Search the gen gen  forums, I think there's a thread similar to this one
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Helm on Mon 09/05/2005 07:54:30
if 'you've found youself' in a gay chatroom, all pretense aside, chances are you're looking for a date of some sort. That's partly the function of the channel, as you've seen yourself. I think you need to be more honest about whether you're interested in this person romantically, and if so plan accordingly. The ambivalent 'oh this is friendship but if more happens ok' thing I think is not really gonna help. Gameplan. Usually, however, internet dating things go to hell.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Peter Thomas on Mon 09/05/2005 08:13:24
Helm, yeah, I understand that I wasn't really explaining myself well, I just couldn't think of what I wanted to say exactly.

I didn't mean it sound like "oh, I accidentally found myself in a chat room...". Of course I went in there deliberately, but - to be completely honest - I've never been in a chatroom as "commercially public" like that in my life, so I went in just to get a feel of what is was like. And I didn't have any intentions on finding a date. If I had, I would've visited the romance section with alluring lounge-names like "Swedish boys on open cam!!!!!!!!18+!!!" and "Mississippi boys for older dads". I was actually in the "culture and interests" section (I think that's what it's called, anyway), and I was just curious to see a gay chatroom in there, so I clicked.

As to explain the 'ambivalence' of my friendship/lust, it's like this (assuming you're straight/attracted to females): If you sit down at the bus-stop and a gorgeous girl sits next to you, and you get into an engaging, mentally-stimulating conversation, you're obviously not going to be AGAINST the idea of pursuing something more romantic with her, but that's not the reason you're talking to her, and you're certainly not going to leap all over her just because she's interesting the first few times you talk. That's how it was.

This guy does have "boyfriendish" qualities (from what I've seen so far, anyway), I'm not going to deny that, but so do a lot of my friends, and I'm sure that's the same for many of you. Of course I'm going to get to know the guy better: he's a nice fellow!: but I'm not doing it inentionally for the purposes of securing myself a parter. Not in the least. Although, as I said, at this point in time (not knowing enough about him to make an informed opinion), I can't be actively against the prospect of anything more happening either.

I know there's a terrible stigma over the "internet relationship" thang, and I don't have my hopes up about coming away with a "new best friend" or "life-long partner". He's just a nice guy I met chatting, and I was interested to see what other experiences people had had...

Although so far it isn't terribly encouragin ;) :)
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Kinoko on Mon 09/05/2005 08:15:30
No problems here because I've been living with my "internet friend" for almost 5 years now ^_^ I'd say don't expect anything from it and don't meet for a while... a long while really. Not until you really are quite familiar with that person (of course, as much as you CAN be on the internet). Even if it is a friendship and not a dating thing, you still have to be careful.

That aside, yeah, nothing wrong with it! It's just another way to meet people these days.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Peter Thomas on Mon 09/05/2005 08:22:03
Ah, thanks kinoko. Always nice to see a little glint in the murky waters.
5 years? Wow. I guess other nice people really do use the internet after all...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: on Mon 09/05/2005 09:00:40
I looked into it, as much for the finding mutual interests bit as for dating potential.  I think the important thing is to realize that an internet relationship isn't worthwhile in and of itself.  It's similar to how you shouldn't make life-long plans based upon lengthy sessions on telephone chat lines.  Kinoko's right, though, it is just another way of meeting people and actually gives you a more anonymous place from which to screen them. 

I have one person that I met via the internet - turned out live in same town, etc., and it's worked out great.  I hang out with them on a regular basis and we've helped each other through some touch times.  No romantic possibilities but a very worthwhile friendship.  Just don't count anything you read as being the absolute truth. 

My ex has had several dating encounters via online services.  So far, most have been rather nice but they didn't hit it off on a long-term basis for one reason or other.  Only one (out of four) was potentially scary, but not in a physical violence/stalking kind of way, just in a "You need to seek therapy before you're dating material" way.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: on Mon 09/05/2005 10:04:37
Yeah, see, usually the problem with internet relationships is the distinct lack of sex. Also, anything you type to the other person will inevitably be cheesy.

However, if you met the person online and know him in real life, why not? If he's a nice guy, I mean. Most of the people I interact with online are people I talk to because I find them interesting and they have appealing personalities. If that is coupled with a psychical attraction, then that's cool. That's more than cool, that's totally hot.

I have now been awake for fifty-something hours so you might wanna disregard this completely.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Hobbes on Mon 09/05/2005 10:55:45
...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: stuh505 on Mon 09/05/2005 14:33:09
I don't have time to read everything that's been said but before I go...let me just say...

internet relationships dont work out

at least not for the 14-20 age group
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Kinoko on Mon 09/05/2005 14:42:03
...apart from me ^_^ I was 14 when I met my boyfriend online and moved in him with at 17/18. Now 22.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Andail on Mon 09/05/2005 15:03:48
Kinoko, that's quite an achievement.
Noone is entitled to say "internet dating doesn't work", since a lot of people obviously meet in this manner, and heck, dating in real life has a pretty low success rate for most people as well.

Then again, a date can be successful even if it doesn't lead to sex and children and whatnot; just chatting to new people will grant you many experience points.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: edmundito on Mon 09/05/2005 15:56:35
Quote from: Kinoko on Mon 09/05/2005 14:42:03
...apart from me ^_^ I was 14 when I met my boyfriend online and moved in him with at 17/18. Now 22.

Well, the part that worked out is that you moved in with him. What if you hadn't moved in with him and still kept a long distance thing until today? Did you guys live pretty close to each other...?

....just adding some extra discussion in this thread. :P
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Helm on Mon 09/05/2005 17:29:27
I understand what you mean better now, Peter. My main point before was to get it across that it can even become grating to go back and forth a lot about what you want to do with a relationship. I like clear intentions, and the lack of the mating ritual games, if possible, but that's just me. It seems you just found a guy you find intellectually stimulating, and are open to the posibility of a physical relationship occuring. Great for you. I think - in contrast to Kinoko - that you should meet as soon as possible, and see how you gel in real life. Kinoko might have had a successful relationship online and offline for a lot of years, so you might want to take her word over mine, but I think her advice to only meet after a long time only applies to people that actually *are* 14 when they get into this. As you're not so young, and seem to know what you're doing quite well, I don't think you should delay any more than the two of you want to. In fact, I think sticking to chatrooms for too long will potentially exhaust any chance there was for a romantic relationship.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Pumaman on Mon 09/05/2005 18:26:40
I have to admit, I am hugely skeptical about internet relationships. Sure, if you've met someone in real life and then continue your relationship online, that's all well and good; but if you meet someone in an internet chat room or whatever, it's rather dangerous territory. People lie much more easily when they're at their computer screen than they would in real life, and you never really know whether you're really talking to a nice young lady or an 85-year-old man called Keith.

Obviously there are exceptions as in Kinoko's case, but personally I'm always suspicious about this type of thing.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: MrColossal on Mon 09/05/2005 18:45:40
/me makes obvious and yet hilarious joke about CJ not wanting to start an internet relationship with him

There, now that's out of the way
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Pumaman on Mon 09/05/2005 18:51:10
I did say there were exceptions for special people, eric ...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: stuh505 on Mon 09/05/2005 19:35:00
QuoteThen again, a date can be successful even if it doesn't lead to sex and children and whatnot; just chatting to new people will grant you many experience points.

Well, this is a good point.

One thing I've certainly learned from internet relationships is that it's very easily to quickly feel as though you've found a soul-mate because people are very good at adapting who they are, or making you like the way they are, when your only connection to them is so distant.Ã,  They can filter out the bad and hype up the good.

Then when you meet them, you can't help but be shocked by the fact that they don't look anything like their BEST photograph, and you don't have anything in common in real life yet somehow you managed to think so in a digital world.Ã,  In short it's very easy for incompatible people to feel compatible over the internet.

I wouldn't rule out internet dating...I would just say, that from what I have learned from myself and my friends, that anyone you start to talk to on the internet....you should think to yourself why do I like this person are weÃ,  really good for each other...

and WHY are we both online enough to make this happen.  Is this a person who likes to do nothing but sit around and chat all day?  Will that bother you when you get together and all they want to do is chat with other people on the internet instead of hanging out with you and doing the things you want? 

You KNOW they're going to be filtering the perspective of them that they show you' even if you've been talking to them for years the chances are that you know the side of them that they want you to know.  Everyone is beautiful from the inside and if they can get you to see their life from the inside it will look beautiful too, no matter how much you might hate them after getting to see an unfiltered version of their life.

And whats more, is that you OWN mind is going to be filtering the filtered version of what they show you.  Double filtering.  Because you will unconsciouslly downplay and forget about the aspects you hear that you don't like, and up-play and fantasize about the aspects you DO like.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Peter Thomas on Tue 10/05/2005 01:55:20
QuoteBecause you will unconsciouslly downplay and forget about the aspects you hear that you don't like, and up-play and fantasize about the aspects you DO like.

I'm not too sure if I agree with that. We've talked about dislikes, things that irritate him, characteristics in people that really piss him off. I certainly take that very seriously and don't filter it at all. If anything, I probably place a slightly stronger emphasis on the bad than the good. And I think most people do the same. Of course, if the other person lies flat out to you, then your perception is jilted, but that's through no fault of your own.

I'm also very wary about these people turning out to be nothing like who they say they are. I've heard all too many stories about how 16/f/cali turned into 50/m/zambia. I think a level of skepticism is healthy, but at the same time, you do need to be open to the fact that not everyone is like that. We've exchanged plenty of photos of each other, so unless he's using his son's pics or something like that... And we've chatted on the phone, and he certainly doesn't sound like a grandfather. So, for now, I'm willing to assume he's telling the truth. We're thinking about meeting up soon-ish. I guess I will finally know for sure then...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Kinoko on Tue 10/05/2005 01:57:40
Quote from: netmonkey on Mon 09/05/2005 15:56:35
Quote from: Kinoko on Mon 09/05/2005 14:42:03
...apart from me ^_^ I was 14 when I met my boyfriend online and moved in him with at 17/18. Now 22.

Well, the part that worked out is that you moved in with him. What if you hadn't moved in with him and still kept a long distance thing until today? Did you guys live pretty close to each other...?

Well, OBVIOUSLY :P That goes for any relationship. If you don't eventually start making a life together, it's gonna fizzle out. We kept the internet relationship going for a number of years though, it wasn't as though we met online and then in real life several months later. I didn't meet him in person until I was... a couple of months off being 17.

I am with CJ though, I'm still totally skeptical of internet relationships. I like to give my own example in the argument just to counter the people who say it can never work, but at the same time I still believe it's a very risky was of meeting people. People DO lie a lot on the computer. I think for intelligent people with good senses though, as long as you play it safe and talk to said person for a long time before meeting, it can be fine. There ARE a lot of decent people on the net too.

Another thing that helped my case is that I was also online friends with all of his friends. We all "hung out" online together so I got to talk a LOT to all the people he'd grown up with and the people who knew him in real life, and they were all fantastic people too. I got a really good feel for his life, which is important. I wasn't just relying on what he told me. Thankfully, he's one of the most honest and wonderful people you could ever meet, which showed through to me over the years and is the reason it worked out. As time went on, we talked more and more and just became a part of each others every day lives. We also wrote and talked on the phone a lot eventually, which I also think is important.

I really think time is important. A lot of people want to rush into relationships because you start making the person you're talking to better than they may really be in your head and you imagine this great relationship that might start... you want to get into it right away. Time, time, time... wait until you've known this person for a really long time.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Meowster on Tue 10/05/2005 02:19:35
Maybe this'll work out for you, and I'll be wrong. But probably if you want to meet somebody online, you should try meeting up with people you already know rather than develop a relationship with a stranger online. You already know you get on with all these people, and that you have stuff in common and you like. Then all you have to sort out is who you have a spark with, and then worry about developing a single spark. Something like Gilbertfest, you know? Everybody had a lot in common that day, and two people were bound to have that spark there. Although nobody expected it coming from Iqu and Chris, admittedly...

That seems a lot more sensible than finding one person you have something in common with then going all out of your way to see is there a spark. I mean, quite besides being a painstaking process of elimination, meeting a bunch of people you have known online is scary enough, but meeting a single person you've developed a personal relationship with over time online must be terrifying. I'd also find it rather creepy.

Does this make sense, because I can re-explain it tomorrow morning after I get sleep.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: stuh505 on Tue 10/05/2005 03:43:46
QuoteI'm not too sure if I agree with that. We've talked about dislikes, things that irritate him, characteristics in people that really piss him off. I certainly take that very seriously and don't filter it at all. If anything, I probably place a slightly stronger emphasis on the bad than the good. And I think most people do the same. Of course, if the other person lies flat out to you, then your perception is jilted, but that's through no fault of your own.

I'm also very wary about these people turning out to be nothing like who they say they are. I've heard all too many stories about how 16/f/cali turned into 50/m/zambia. I think a level of skepticism is healthy, but at the same time, you do need to be open to the fact that not everyone is like that. We've exchanged plenty of photos of each other, so unless he's using his son's pics or something like that... And we've chatted on the phone, and he certainly doesn't sound like a grandfather. So, for now, I'm willing to assume he's telling the truth. We're thinking about meeting up soon-ish. I guess I will finally know for sure then...

Those stories about people lying about who they are...are really just a load of junk.  Sure, it happens, but if you really talk to someone for a long time, and start to actually get to know each other, perhaps feel that you knwo them better than their freinds at home, you've seen pictures of him, you know his family, etc...you can pretty well bet he's not some crazy guy.

That you talked about likes and dislikes is a good thing that you'll remember...but have you ever become annoyed at him, and just shrugged it off later?  That's easy to do online.  But in real life, that can be totally different.

You could both be completely open with each other, or try to be, but your minds are still going to be telling him your life through your eyes...which is not the same as your life through other peoples eyes, and you may empathize and like him for who he is when you hear about his life from his side, but then perhaps when you get to know him in real life that may all go out the window!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Peter Thomas on Tue 10/05/2005 04:22:14
QuoteDoes this make sense, because I can re-explain it tomorrow morning after I get sleep.
Yuf, it makes perfect sense, but I'd love to hear you elaborate anyway :)

And yes, I already have been through my friends looking for that 'spark'. Trust me, it's not there :( Anyone who knows me could testify that I try every single easy route (no matter how insane) before I even look at the tough one. What I meant by saying some friends had 'boyfriend' qualities, was that they are loyal, honest, caring, easy to talk to, easy to confide in etc etc. But there wasn't the "x factor" (damn simon cowell for creating a show with that name. damn him!). Those qualities are great, for sure, but they don't automatically make you suitable partner material.

I guess there is some sense of irony in-as-much-as I myself am also extremely skeptical of internet relationships (hence the question in the first place), and were one my friends in this situation, I'd be telling him/her to be cautious and not to assume or expect too much. Fortunately, I have the ability to ignore my own advice.

I just ate the most huge bowl of mashed potato. I am now going to go vomit...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Barbarian on Tue 10/05/2005 05:25:13
Well, I'll try to be brief... but, I've been an avid computer user for many years (harking back to the BBS days and when "Internet" as we know it today was still in it's infancy, was text-based only in which all commands had to be typed, and ya almost had to be like a programmer to understand how to use it).

Anyways, over the years, I've "met" many wonderful people online, and some having the oppertunity to meet in person, and, overall I've made some great friends through the internet.Ã,  Ã, 

As far as "internet relationships", well, some turn out to be big-time losers, but on the other hand, some turn out to great.Ã,  In my experience I found it's better to take your time to slowly get to know that person, let the friendship/relationship grow, really get to know that person and if they seem to really "click" with you,Ã,  rather than "rushing" into anything.

Like a lot of frienships and/or relationships in life, sometimes to find "that right one" or someone compatible with you, that you need to take a bit of a risk sometimes. Of course, try to be smart about it, be cautious, get to know them well, build up a feeling of mutual trust and respect, and take your time.

Best wishes.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Kinoko on Tue 10/05/2005 06:48:55
Quote from: Peter Thomas on Tue 10/05/2005 04:22:14
I just ate the most huge bowl of mashed potato. I am now going to go vomit...

I've been there, man.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: BerserkerTails on Tue 10/05/2005 06:53:29
Well, my quick two-cents. One of my friend's cousins came to visit last summer, and the two of us hit it off, though we were much to shy to admit it. After she left, we really started talking about our feelings for each other online. We got to the point where we were in love with each other.

Currently, we're still very much in love. She just came to visit last month (The first time I had seen her since last summer), and I'm going to visit her in July. Eventually next year, we'll be moving in together, and starting what'll hopefully be a wonderful life together.

So, I don't know. Sometimes the whole internet relationship thing works, sometimes it doesn't. I personally would be creeped out having an intimate relationship with someone I hadn't met in real life before, but that's just me.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Nine Toes on Tue 10/05/2005 09:11:29
Internet relationships are a waste of time.  As Forrest Gump once said, "Internet relationships are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get".

I tried it a few times, and I always got those damned coconut filled ones that I hate so much.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Kinoko on Tue 10/05/2005 09:16:56
I love the coconut ones!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Nine Toes on Tue 10/05/2005 09:36:08
 :-X There's nothing coco-ey or nuttey about them.  They're vile!

...Yep... sweet on the outside, coconut on the inside.  Very much a trojan horse, it is.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Peter Thomas on Tue 10/05/2005 11:48:44
QuoteI personally would be creeped out having an intimate relationship with someone I hadn't met in real life before, but that's just me.
Absolutely. If this guy even tries telling me he "can't get me out of his head" or "he's obsessed with me", then he's out on the curb. Hm. Well, maybe not. I guess it would be flattering, and I'd keep him 'round just to hear more of it, but it would definitely disfigure what I think of him now. I do think about him, but only in the sense of "I hope he's free to chat tonight", not "I hope he's free to make my night". Well , at least at this stage anyway. I guess once I really really got to know him that would change, but then I'm not too sure if you really DO get to know a person if you haven't met them in real life.

Quote from: Kinoko on Tue 10/05/2005 06:48:55
I've been there, man.
Oh, and I'd do it again, I swear. I realised today I make the best damn mash I have ever eaten. Ever. Although I think I am now 90% cholesterol...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: xenogia on Tue 10/05/2005 12:23:08
I have met up with several people over the net in years, most of them for me ended up in just sort of one-off sex encounters.  On an occassion I did meet someone decent and it went for a while (2 - 3 months), but then I gave up it never really worked in the end.

Lately I met my currently girlfriend through a friend I met off the internet which is quite odd.  And I am currently enjoying the fruition of my current relationship which has been my strongest in a long time :P
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Meowster on Tue 10/05/2005 13:43:33
Once off sex encounters!??

That's nice.

Okay, to elaborate since I had sleep:

You're going to have far better results by coming to mittens and meeting up with a bunch of people you already know you like, than you are meeting up with one person at a time to see if you get on with them.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Helm on Tue 10/05/2005 15:30:26
once I met up with a group of people I knew from the internets, and one girl from the group had shown me pictures of herself and I thought she was cute. When she showed up she was huge. Extremely radically to the max fat, humongous, unfathomably gigantic. It amazed me that, looking at the pictures, you really couldn't tell. We are now on our third year, happily married and have two, or maybe three kids
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Pumaman on Tue 10/05/2005 19:14:21
Quote from: Yutzster on Tue 10/05/2005 13:43:33
You're going to have far better results by coming to mittens and meeting up with a bunch of people you already know you like, than you are meeting up with one person at a time to see if you get on with them.

I thought that was just something special between me and eric, I didn't realise mittens was *supposed* to be a dating service.

EDIT:
But seriously, you're right. I much prefer the group-of-friends meet to the one-on-one date, it's so much less awkward and more relaxed.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Hollowman on Tue 10/05/2005 19:38:46
It is risky getting involved with people you meet online but it can work. I met my wife of two years online. I lived in England and she lived in Scotland, so there was quite a bit of distance involved. I eventually got up the nerve to go and see her and it went from there.

As I say, we've been married two years now and she is pregnant with our first child due in September.

So, yes, it can work :)
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Paper Carnival on Tue 10/05/2005 20:13:11
It can work out, I know cases where it has. But yeah..
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2377
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: AGA on Wed 11/05/2005 03:52:27
Quote from: Pumaman on Tue 10/05/2005 19:14:21I thought that was just something special between me and eric, I didn't realise mittens was *supposed* to be a dating service.

Oh come off it, Chris. You've been with a different man at every AGS meeting so far.

Although I was underage the first time we met. PEDERAST!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Kinoko on Wed 11/05/2005 04:15:03
Quote from: Guybrush Peepwood on Tue 10/05/2005 20:13:11
It can work out, I know cases where it has. But yeah..
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2377

I really started cracking up when the pig hat came out.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Nine Toes on Wed 11/05/2005 11:02:55
Quote from: Peter Thomas on Tue 10/05/2005 11:48:44
If this guy even tries telling me he "can't get me out of his head" or "he's obsessed with me", then he's out on the curb.

Hmmm... If anybody told me they loved me five minutes after meeting me... yeah, I'd walk away too.  Never fall for that trick, my friend.  It's as old as post-dating a check.

Quote from: Yutzster on Tue 10/05/2005 13:43:33
You're going to have far better results by coming to mittens and meeting up with a bunch of people you already know you like...

Unless, of course, I come...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: on Wed 11/05/2005 16:07:26
Ok, my story.

Andy("Tom Cruise") and I met back in fall of 2003, on a message board. We didn't actually get to heavy chatting until 2004. We were helping each other out through some rough patches, and eventually somehow got into an "I'm uglier" contest and started showing each other our absolutely worst pictures. :P (So obviously when we met there was no "I hope he/she looks like that pic they showed". We were covered for wether we had an ugly-day or a pretty-day ^_^)
Anyway, chatting a ton lead to using skype(voice chat) a ton, lots of really long conversations. Eventually we decided that we should meet up to see if this was a really good friendship type thing or if it had potential to be more. So he flew out to California for a 9 day visit and we instantly hit it off. The only "akward" thing was we kept spilling food when we were out at dinner, but that was really more funny than akward. So we had an awesome 9 days and decided to go ahead and carry it on to a relationship.
Then I visited for the holidays and met his family and spent like a month and a half with him. And didn't want to go home. But obviously I went home. Obviously still had constant contact on messenger and skype and phone when net would go down.
Then I came and visited for another month and a half, we got engaged during that. Started planning for the visa for me to move over.
Then I went home with all my documents and was there for a while having fun with my friends since I'd be moving so far from them. Then I applied for my visa, and a couple weeks later(April 23rd) arrived to live here.
Wedding is set for August 5th.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Meowster on Wed 11/05/2005 16:43:01
Quote..."I'm uglier" contest...

I'm a straight female, so I'm not about to go into detail about how goodlooking Bambi is, but any guy that went to Gilbertfest will tell you (with a certain degree of caution since she is engaged) that Bambi is hot/fit/cute (whichever the UK word for it is). And Andy looks like Tom Cruise.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: on Wed 11/05/2005 16:50:53
You are invited to the wedding of...

(http://xroads.virginia.edu/~MA03/pricola/Bambi/Bambi.jpg) and (http://media.bestprices.com/content/dvd/40/200642.jpg)

Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Pumaman on Wed 11/05/2005 19:02:54
Quote from: Yutzster on Wed 11/05/2005 16:43:01
And Andy looks like Tom Cruise.

I hadn't noticed.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Meowster on Wed 11/05/2005 19:41:12
Yes, one tends to ignore this trivialities when one is in love.

I'm still trying to figure out how to get that sexy Chris/Iqu picture off my phone.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: on Thu 12/05/2005 13:48:47
Aww Yutzster, so sweet. :P <3
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Peter Thomas on Sat 14/05/2005 06:48:54
Well, we're planning on meeting next weekend. The 21st, I believe it is.
We're both excited about it (I think. I hope...)
He's been such a nice fellow, and he invited me to this lovely old abandoned house with soundproof rooms. The only condition is I'm not allowed to tell anyone where I'm going or how long I'll be. Sounds exciting, right? Yay!

Okay, well that was all crap... well, apart from meeting him. I am. Next weekend. Damn I'm tired.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Barbarian on Sat 14/05/2005 07:09:15
Quote...he invited me to this lovely old abandoned house with soundproof rooms. The only condition is I'm not allowed to tell anyone where I'm going or how long I'll be.

Hmmm, I seem to recall seeing some horror-movies that started off this way.  ;)

Well, just be careful, and good luck.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Andail on Sat 14/05/2005 15:50:36
I wonder if certain brits could be just a bit more excited about the good looks of that Bambi/Tom Cruise couple
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Meowster on Sat 14/05/2005 20:45:14
I don't understand. What you're trying to say. Could somebody explain? To me?
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Peter Thomas on Sun 15/05/2005 07:49:30
Quote from: Yutzster on Sat 14/05/2005 20:45:14
I don't understand. What you're trying to say. Could somebody explain? To me?

amen...
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Andail on Tue 17/05/2005 21:16:41
hehe, I just meant that you've been talking pretty much and pretty excitingly about those people and how cute they were.
Nothing wrong with that of course, just an observation :)
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Harvester on Wed 09/11/2005 01:00:14
Quote from: Peter Thomas on Sat 14/05/2005 06:48:54
Well, we're planning on meeting next weekend. The 21st, I believe it is.
We're both excited about it (I think. I hope...)
He's been such a nice fellow, and he invited me to this lovely old abandoned house with soundproof rooms. The only condition is I'm not allowed to tell anyone where I'm going or how long I'll be. Sounds exciting, right? Yay!

Okay, well that was all crap... well, apart from meeting him. I am. Next weekend. Damn I'm tired.

So, whatever happened with this thing?
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Nikolas on Wed 09/11/2005 08:29:51
I think that Peter is still tied up and can't talk right now! ;D
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Meowster on Wed 09/11/2005 14:42:48
Oh man.

Shortly after this thread was started I accidentally somehow sort of got myself into an internet relationship.

It's hard because he lives in the UK and I live in Ireland.

But it's been the best 6 months of my life. He is the sweetest, loveliest person in the entire world. Sure, it's a little hard to find time to see each other, but the time we do have together is entirely worth it.

Internet relationships can and do work, a lot of the time. In fact, another guy I know over here (in England) is married to a girl he met online. Also look at Kinoko's story.

Happy happy :)
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: edmundito on Wed 09/11/2005 15:30:49
Here's an question, since that this thread has been brought back to life:

What would you tell your friends if you had an internet relationship? Ie (using Yufster as an example)- Wouldn't they ask why you're constantly going to England? Wouldn't they like to know where your frieand came from? Would you tell them that you met on the Internet?
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Pumaman on Wed 09/11/2005 19:08:17
I just say we met at a nudist colony.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Mr Jake on Wed 09/11/2005 19:13:57
Mittens?
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: DanClarke on Wed 09/11/2005 19:33:40
internet relationships remind me of this:

(http://images.quizilla.com/R/retromex/1101841958_Kip0.jpg)

Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: shbaz on Wed 09/11/2005 19:38:15
Quote from: Yutzster on Wed 09/11/2005 14:42:48
Shortly after this thread was started I accidentally somehow sort of got myself into an internet relationship.

I thought you met him at the airport? He's from the internet now!?

Quote from: Yutzster on Wed 09/11/2005 14:42:48
It's hard because he lives in the UK and I live in Ireland.

Stop fooling around, those are pretty much the same country.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Nikolas on Wed 09/11/2005 22:08:28
Quote from: shbaz on Wed 09/11/2005 19:38:15
Stop fooling around, those are pretty much the same country.
Off-topic but no they're not!

On-topic: I think that internet relationships can work, but there are also dangers. Since we are talking about sensible grown ups, I think that most dangers can be avoided. I mean that I would be nuts to just go to a place, with someone I don't know. don't say a word to anyone about where I am or when I'm going to be back and be ready to lock myself up... That's basically like saying to someone:"Please bend, give me your money, you deeds to your new house, your credit cards and smile", and expect him to do it!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: shbaz on Thu 10/11/2005 01:16:15
Quote from: Nikolas on Wed 09/11/2005 22:08:28
Quote from: shbaz on Wed 09/11/2005 19:38:15
Stop fooling around, those are pretty much the same country.
Off-topic but no they're not!

Yes they are!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: SSH on Thu 10/11/2005 14:45:32
Quote from: Nikolas link=topic=20725.msg289990#msg289990That's basically like saying to someone:"Please bend, give me your money, you deeds to your new house, your credit cards and smile", and expect him to do it!

Isn't that what marriage is all about?
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Disco on Thu 10/11/2005 15:02:13
Quote from: shbaz on Thu 10/11/2005 01:16:15
Quote from: Nikolas on Wed 09/11/2005 22:08:28
Quote from: shbaz on Wed 09/11/2005 19:38:15
Stop fooling around, those are pretty much the same country.
Off-topic but no they're not!

Yes they are!

Why do they use two different currencies then?
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Meowster on Thu 10/11/2005 15:11:15
Being from Ireland, and frequenting England, I can tell you that they are very different countries.

Ireland has far more chavs, for a start.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: shbaz on Thu 10/11/2005 18:30:01
But being that Ireland and England both have chavs, and I don't know what a chav is, doesn't that make them the same country?
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Haddas on Thu 10/11/2005 18:38:05
You need to change that avatar text shbaz.but don't you dare take my title!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: PyroMonkey on Thu 10/11/2005 18:54:38
Internet relations, as well as any relations, are a double-edged sword, although with internet relations the risks can more than double. Granted, sometimes it's worth the risk, but generally I try to avoid...*ahem*...intimate relations with "girls" online. You never know the status of their genitals until it's too late.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Squinky on Thu 10/11/2005 20:31:09
Quote from: shbaz on Thu 10/11/2005 18:30:01
But being that Ireland and England both have chavs, and I don't know what a chav is, doesn't that make them the same country?

Dude, I think Captain Mostly spent about ten emails trying to explain what chavs are. I still think they are similair to the white-kid gangster rapper wanna-be's over here, but apparently that description still didn't cut it....
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Las Naranjas on Thu 10/11/2005 21:22:06
Cross white trash with inner urban council estates [Which you don't have in the land of rent control] and some kind of mangled urban culture, and you're getting closer.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: shbaz on Fri 11/11/2005 04:09:26
Quote from: Las Naranjas on Thu 10/11/2005 21:22:06
Cross white trash with inner urban council estates [Which you don't have in the land of rent control] and some kind of mangled urban culture, and you're getting closer.

Speak American English!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Las Naranjas on Fri 11/11/2005 11:59:09
Cross white trash with inner urban council estates y'all [Which you don't have in that dang land of rent control] and some kinda of mangled urban culture, and you're getting closer son.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: DGMacphee on Fri 11/11/2005 16:40:47
Quote from: L.Niddy on Fri 11/11/2005 11:59:09
Yo, dawg! Cross them whitebread crackas with ma niggas on da westsiiiide [fo shizzle yo do to da nizzle have da hizzle where Da Man be ownin yo ass] and them crazy wiggas thinkin they got game but they iz really just lame, and then yo ain't be yankin my crank. Respect, aaiiiiight?
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Pumaman on Sat 12/11/2005 12:05:10
Since the google image search has disappointed me with its lack of proper chavs, you'll have to settle for this from urbandictionary:

QuotePicture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Privateer Puddin' on Sat 12/11/2005 12:14:19
http://chavscum.co.uk/4images/ plenty of images
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: SSH on Sat 12/11/2005 17:14:24
Quote from: PyroMonkey on Thu 10/11/2005 18:54:38
Internet relations, as well as any relations, are a double-edged sword, although with internet relations the risks can more than double. Granted, sometimes it's worth the risk, but generally I try to avoid...*ahem*...intimate relations with "girls" online. You never know the status of their genitals until it's too late.

Yes, becauase in Real Life (TM) everyone displays their genitals openly... ::)
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: edmundito on Sat 12/11/2005 18:08:52
There's only one answer to this problem:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chav

And there are pictures, too!

Sounds like the combination of a rice boy and a poser... if the two are somehow different.
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: shbaz on Sat 12/11/2005 21:44:48
Haha, awesome! Douche bags in England wear clothing with a special pattern so that you can easily identify them!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Pelican on Sat 12/11/2005 23:31:58
Yes, and you can spot them a mile away, with all that cheap bling!
Title: Re: What do you make of internet relationships?
Post by: Squinky on Sat 12/11/2005 23:40:09
I think I was referred to that chav site before, but they still seem excactly the same as our white-trash rapper wannabes to me....