What the title says. Not along the lines of "I'm a good husband" or "I raise five kids" or "as a doctor I've saved many lives using my patented life-saving apparatus", no I mean an out of ordinary, self-sacrificing, unexpected and completely benevolent deed.
Preferably you weren't awarded, thanked or even noticed while/after doing it.
Can you come to think of such a deed?
PS: Obviously, the "not even noticed" paragraph is not affected by writing about it in this thread.
Hmm, we're a selfish bunch, aren't we!
I often see pensioners struggling to drag their luggage up the stairs at the station, but do I help them? If I see somebody has broken down at the side of the road, do I stop and check if they're alright?
I think the closest thing I've done to a good deed is taking the blame for other people when they've done something wrong, but that hardly counts as benevolent because I'd kind of expect the same from them if our positions were reversed.
I guess the thing is that these days if you see someone lying in the street wounded then it's probably a hoax where if you go over to help them, they'll kick you in the groin, grab all your stuff and run off. Equally, if you stop to help someone who's broken down, they'll probably steal your car and drive off.
I blame society.
And Canada.
Heh, a good thing to think about. I don't usually make it a big deal if I do something like this, so basically I had to ponder on it a lot to find something that really was unselfish of me.
But I guess, having fun at times can really be helping others too. We arranged a live action role play which lacked swords and all. This was in civil service courses, so it was about a UN meeting. I basically volunteered to be the chairman, basically because I was the only one with interest and experience. It later on happened, that I was basically doing everything for everyone, but we aced the thing eventually. It was really exhausting, but it was great fun and it went pretty well according to everyone there, and the course leaders too. A pat in the back is what I got, because they can't reward you anymore. But any other than this, I can't think of one right now. Of course there are everyday things we all do.
Well, last Thursday night I was standing in line at a vending machine on campus, dying for some caffeine before my next class. A small kid in front of me kept trying to get the machine to accept his wrinkly dollar (which at last estimate, is something like 1/1000th of a euro, I think) to no avail. What such a young kid was doing by himself in a side hallway on campus at night is beyond me, but he was getting increasingly frustrated by the machine spitting his dollar back at him.
I was running out of time and getting a little pissed off myself, when the kid stepped aside and said, in the smallest voice, "I'm sorry, mister. It doesn't like my dollar."
Gah! I felt so damn sorry for the little guy! I told him I would trade him my four quarters for his wrinkly dollar. He beamed, made the trade, and ran down the hallway with his Mountain Dew (hopefully, running towards someone who loved him and not, say, out into the unforgiving night!).
Or course, I knew when I made the trade that those four quarters were all the change I had. I didn't have any bills small enough for the vending machine to accept, so I would have to do without an energy boost before my next class. Fortunately, my instructor that night was one of those professors who think that any lecture worth giving is worth giving in the driest monotone possible, so it wasn't even a struggle to stay awake. I was out like a light and slept like a baby for the next hour and a half.
If I were a smart man, I would stop right here and bask in the retelling of my own good deed and the adulation you're all sure to heap upon me, and not reveal how, after watching this kid try at least a dozen times to feed that poor excuse for a dollar into the machine, I tried to get that damn machine to take that poor dollar... four times! Honestly, I thought swearing loudly at it would help!
I just wanted caffeine so damn badly! *sob*
Oh well, that's the story of my one (admittedly small) good deed for 2008... so far.
- Ponch
I do a lot of "good" deeds ... sadly my reason for doing them is rather selfish. I do them 'cause it makes me feel good. Not out of any karmic reasons. Though I suppose it's all related.
Just yesterday, at the market, this old lady knocked a box from the shelf with her cane. She was struggling to bend down to pick the thing up but just couldn't get to it. So I walked back (I was past her by the time) and got it for her.
That was the most recent.
Some others (recently)
- helped a guy in a wheel chair get in the market 'cause it was raining
- gave a few bux to the lady in front of me who was a little short for the total
- put my neighbor's trash out to the curb so they didn't miss the pickup
I don't know ... I suppose these could be considered "good deeds"?
As a I said above it makes me feel good to do these things. Well ... that and I have to do them to help balance out all the drugs and hookers.
Doesn't it feel weird posting in here? Do you do a good deed to boost about it in a forum?
Anyways.
Tuesday 8th of January 23:00 Heathrow Airport. The plane from Greece, Athens, has just landed and I'm with:
i. my two sons, both sleeping
ii. a pushchair folded in the front of the plane
iii. 8 L of Greek oil (heh... couldn't help it)
iv. A bottle of ouzo
v. 3 handbags. Nappies, wippes, etc. 1 handbag has all my own stuff, which are CDs, books, etc. Weighted it out of curiosity: 12 kilos (2 stones or a bit less for the brittish folks in here)
So I have to get up find a way to unfold the pushchair and put the younger sleeping boy in, while carrying the second one along with eveyrthing else. The pushchair cannot fit all the stuff. I also have 2 suitcases in the baggage reclaims... Thankfully an airattendant helps me out, enormously (thanks mate :)) and I get on my way, while carrying my older son, Dimitris, my 2 bags (my own and the nappies one), and the rest of the stuff on the pushchair, while of course pushing the pushchair.
- One person, coming from Israel, did stop and helped me (by pushing the chair), but we had to go seperate ways in the passport control.
Either way I reach the baggages, I leave my sleeping son in the chairs, along with everything else, in a point where I can have one eye constantly there, and the other for the baggages, and try to pick up my suitcases. Grab a wheel troley and put the 2 suitcases and my older son on (heh... absolutely no other way to go ahead).
And there after 5 meters/yards, I spot an old lady struggling. Her walking stick is caught underneath her 2 suitcase and she can't do anything. Stop, leave everything, while breaking the entry of the Mclarrenn pushchair (all parents should know that these things have AWFUL balance) and help her out.
Of course she did say thank you...
________________________
I also send, via Internet banking £30 to someone who didn't actually asked me, but could use the money, and although I'd like to see them back, I don't really expect it. I prefer to wait 20 years for him/her to become wealthy and claim a few 1000$ ;D
Ugh, it took me way too long to figure out my last good deed that meets your criteria :/ I guess I should work on it.
A few years ago (!!!), I was out with a friend at our typical coffee house hangout one night, when an acquaintance came in who was quite visibly terrified. He was a regular too, but had run in that night because someone was threatening to beat him up. The person in question was standing outside the window with two others looking in, waiting for him to come back out. The owner walked up to his table and asked him not to come back for a week, apparently because of an almost-fight that had just occurred between him and the aggressor outside in front of the business.
My friend and I were curious, and asked what was going on. Apparently the fight was over him supposedly being suspiciously though-just-verbally friendly with the outside guy's girlfriend, and she told him that he was trying to seduce her or something like that (which, given the guy in question I highly doubt).
The strange thing about this deed is that I didn't even like this person. I had known him for perhaps a couple months by this time and he was always taking the piss or being condescending or whatever, although he wasn't really a major dick, just annoying. I decided to help anyways. I explained the situation to the owner, and asked if he could stay inside for a little while given the circumstances. My friend and I chatted with him a while longer to get him to relax, and after we decided it might be safe looked out the window again, only to see the same three guys "patrolling" the sidewalk. I asked my friend if she would walk him out to his car with me so it would be even numbers. She agreed, despite not liking him much either.
The dudes left us alone on our way out, and along the way Mike (oh that's his name btw) mentioned how odd he thought it was that we were helping him despite him being an ass since we'd known him. For that he apologised and said that he was grateful for us risking a beating to get him to safety. Once he left, we saw the perpetrators watching us from across the street. The main person involved in the situation was looking pretty angry, and I heard his friend say "Maybe we could just kick their asses instead", but they just ended up walking away. Mike was alright after that, even outwardly friendly to us.
That is the last selfless thing I've done that I can think of unfortunately :P
Also, one time I helped stop Skynet from forming \o/
Quote from: Disco on Tue 29/01/2008 03:49:29Also, one time I helped stop Skynet from forming \o/
Well if the continuing line of movies and TV shows proves one thing ... no matter how many times you stop Skynet the
franchise future will still happen!
I saw an old lady struggling to reach her cabinet in this upstairs apartment building off main street. So, I pulled the car over, ran up the stairs, broke down the door and lifted the little old lady to victory!
And then I woke up. Weird that I dream about helping little old ladies?
I should add, other than that bit of fantasy, I moved from California to South Dakota to help a friend from college deal with her mother's losing battle with cancer. There ya go...so, about six-seven years back. That's the last big deal deed of mine.
last time i did a good deed was on my 20th birthday, i had a day out and spent lots of money (like £120 lots) in those claw machines and won like 40 stuffed toys and i gave half of them away to kids, and that's something i do a lot if i'm out on a winning streak (i am the KING of the CLAW!). i did the same thing many years ago while on holiday, i saw this little girl spend a bit of money trying to win this alien thing from one of those machines and she couldn't and went off a bit sad, so i stuck in some money and got it on the first try, i then went off to find her and gave it to her and she was really happy and ran around with it all night.
and, as a side note, i've been playing Knights of the Old Republic lately and gone through it helping people out, being nice and only earning light side points. and it's funny because i do this in just about every game i have the choice of being a nice person or a dick, even though there are no consequences and i don't actually effect anybody's life i often play through games being a good person. weird.
How could I forget? :o
People (here from AGS) have done great good things to me! :)
1. There is this guy, an artist, who's agreed to make my CD cover. Generally he seems to refuse any kind of payment, although I'm keen to that. It's not settled, but definately he didn't do it for the money. and the job he's doing is nothing short of AMAZING and I thank him dearly for this.
2. There is this gal, who read the Xmas thread and that I didn't get any presents :'( so she contacted me on MSN, with the intention to get me something. :-* Isn't that sweet, or what? :)
I haven't gone ape sh*t and gone on a killing spree, yet. It's an on-going and thankless task.
QuoteThe dudes left us alone on our way out, and along the way Mike (oh that's his name btw) mentioned how odd he thought it was that we were helping him despite him being an ass since we'd known him. For that he apologised and said that he was grateful for us risking a beating to get him to safety.
...which leads on to the question, is the real reason that any of us do a good deed because we expect to be thanked for it, and being thanked makes us feel good -- thus the motivation for doing the deed in the first place?
Yeah, I think that bringing up things you've done to help other people rather nullifies the altruism in it. I'm sure all of us at one time or another have done something helpful for someone else without expecting massive returns, and if you haven't, well that's your choice really!
Wow, people, you are such a good persons!
I do not happen to have such a good deed story in store for you, to be honest.
My philosophy is, that I try to make EVERYTHING as good as I can. I can not even stand to do any hobby when I know I got to wash the dishes or anything like that.
Same with good deeds. I do not make a big ones, but every small one is better than nothing, isn't it? This way, I just can't recall any recent one. Oh, maybe one: One of the younger violinists from our band has a horrible physics teacher and she told me (on monday that was) that she writes a test on friday, and she understands nothing from it and complained to me about how her parents don't understand that and so on. All of a sudden, I picked up my phone that evening to tell her that I can teach her that things (I knew them because we were already revising them for the second time). She was very grateful for that, and I had a good feeling about that.
But that is not the end. On wednesday I got ill. Nothing very serious, but I have had a headache, a sore throat and these kind of things, not high temperature, but enough to make you feel really bad. Normally, I would spend all my time home curing myself, but somehow I couldn't just call her telling "Hey, my bad, I am ill, sorry, can't help you." No, that was not the solution, so I didn't change anything, I got to her in this disposition and explained that things to her. Finally, she got a good mark from the test, and I was happy to help someone who needed help without any return.
That's my story. Actually, you're first to know about it, kinda.....interesting, I realize that I don't talk about myself much....
Quote from: Pumaman on Tue 29/01/2008 18:38:32...which leads on to the question, is the real reason that any of us do a good deed because we expect to be thanked for it, and being thanked makes us feel good -- thus the motivation for doing the deed in the first place?
Quote from: ProgZmax on Tue 29/01/2008 19:02:17Yeah, I think that bringing up things you've done to help other people rather nullifies the altruism in it. I'm sure all of us at one time or another have done something helpful for someone else without expecting massive returns, and if you haven't, well that's your choice really!
This is what I meant by it being "selfish" for me... I could really care less if I get thanked for it, or if it's even acknowledged. I'm doing it for myself. Just doing it makes me feel good. So I do it. In fact ... some of the best feelings come from when the person isn't even aware you helped them.
It sounds so hokey [of course] but I really believe if more people shared this desire to help others (rather than being the selfish, only caring about themselves, snobs that they are) the world would be a truly happier place.
I'm very close to quitting being a nice guy.
Honestly, you don't get any thanks these days.
The other day I was walking along and some guy was trying to come out of a shop with a child in a pushchair, by using the pushchair to open the door. I opened it for him. Not so that I could congratulate myself, and not because I see myself as a saint, but because the guy was struggling. And if it had been me in his situation I would have been grateful for someone to come a lend me a hand. But this guy just walks straight past me without so much as a semi-appreciative nod. Fucking wanker. I hope he trips over and spills the pushchair into the the path of an Eddie Stobbart.
I haven't posted, partly because I couldn't think of a single good deed I've done that can go in here and partly because even if I did, I'd feel weird about posting in here.
But I think Nikolas is on to a good thing, and Stupot's attitude confirms it. I think we have people who've done good deeds to us, and we'd like to thank them for it. It's easier to thank someone than to sing your own praises. :) As for doing good deeds just for the sake of it, and not wishing to be thanked... I've just watched Schindler's List for the millionth time and though it'd be great to have more people like him, for most of us mere mortals, we've been trained to expect thanks even when it's not a primary motivating factor for us.
So anyway... what I'm saying is why don't we post about good deeds that people have done for us as well? :) Or even just an act of kindness?
My students and I were out collecting old newspapers and clothes for recycling. It was a Sunday morning, and a bloody hot day for us to be out doing school stuff, much less on a weekend. And this lady saw us taking a break with all the bundles of old clothes and newspapers at our feet, and she came over and tried to give us some money to buy drinks with.
We'd been told not to accept gifts of cash or food, so we had to reject it. But I thought it was wonderful of her to offer it. In an urbanised society like Singapore, there's very little of this kind of attitude around anymore. :(
(edited as I've no wish to hijack Andail's thread; but I think it's a nice complement to it for those not wishing to blow their own trumpet.)
Quote from: Pumaman on Tue 29/01/2008 18:38:32...which leads on to the question, is the real reason that any of us do a good deed because we expect to be thanked for it, and being thanked makes us feel good -- thus the motivation for doing the deed in the first place?
In other words the only time you can do something purely for someone else is by sacrificing your life for them so that you don't have time to feel good about it, and even then you'd have to believe that there's no life after death so you're not heading for some kind of reward.
But is it a really bad thing? Say I give up my seat on a bus to an old lady (not something I've actually done... yet :)). She gets a seat, I go against the stereotype of the 'youth of today', she's happy and I feel good for helping someone. Its all win-win, and what's wrong with that? I *would* say that it depends on what my reason for helping her was, but can anyone honestly say they didn't do it for the good feeling or because of their upbringing, or their desire to feel needed?
I'll offer the opinion that under normal circumstances there is nothing wrong with doing a 'good deed' for your own sake, because only good comes out of it. The point at which it becomes a bad idea is when you deliberately do something or fail to do something just so that someone will then need your help and you can go and help them. Or deliberately doing something in front of lots of people when you didn't have to do it then. Or bragging about your good deeds to others. You know, using the deed to increase other people's opinions of yourself, or in some other way that benefits yourself other than internally.
Which leads on to the question ;), what is the point of this thread/why are you posting or not posting in it? I'm not knocking your thread Andail, I think there are a few good reasons to have it, for instance if you're trying to inspire others to do good deeds. But if you're posting purely to say "look at how good I am" (and I haven't got that feeling from any of the examples so far) then maybe you should think twice.
My small divisions of currency
(And if you want a good deed from me, I picked up 1 out of the 3 handouts I offered to get for a friend from my uni course who was away. Ah well, try again tomorrow)
I've been brought up with the idea "don't do to others what you woudln't like others to do to you" and the positive of "do to others what you would like other to do to you...".
I find that kindness goes around and comes back to you.
Im a goody goody lol The last time I did a good deed was yesterday, Simply an old dear was in my shop (bookies) at 8pm and I offered to walk her to her taxi as she had been mugged on a previous occaision just doin my bit for the old folk that made the country what it was when there was'nt stupid kids attacking people for simply walking down the street.
Quote from: auriond on Wed 30/01/2008 01:48:45
But I think Nikolas is on to a good thing, and Stupot's attitude confirms it.
I'm not sure whether you meant my attitude was a good one or a bad one. The Eddie Stobbart comment was a bit extreme. I hope I didn't make it sound as if I only do good deeds because I revel in the praise and the thanks. I helped the guy with the pushchair because I didn't like to see him struggling. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a token gesture of appreciation when you do good by someone.
Imagine how the guy designing Nikolas' CD cover would feel if Nikolas didn't thank him. He's not doing it for the money, and he's probably not doing it for the thanks either. But he'd still expect Nikolas to show some kind of gratitude.
As for good deeds done to me. My friend gave me his car. When I came back from Japan I had £10 to my name, and no job. He's recent;y gone off to uni, where he knew he wouldn't be needing to drive. And knowing I was in no position to buy a car he gave me his. I owe the guy so many favours.
As I see it (when it comes to benevolence), there are four kinds of people.
The Cynist
This person simply won't make any efforts to help other people, unless the link to their own well-being is very straight and direct.
The Pragmatic Socialite
This type loves to "be there" for other people in their sphere of friends and family. It's the kind of person who always calls up friends in need, simply because they enjoy - or are addicted to - the feeling of being involved in whatever happens. Also dependent on gossip and intricate affairs amongst people. They often trespass on people's privacy in this pursuit.
The Ego-Feeder
Doesn't require social confirmation or official praise. This type loves the feeling of doing good, and can survive for days purely on their own self satisfaction. Can get depressed if too long time has passed without a conscience boost.
The Theist Reward Hunter
These people believe they'll come to heaven if they've done enough good deeds. Always strive to improve their karma, so they'll end up on the plus side on judgement day.
I don't think I fit in there.
(You were expecting that, no? :P )
I'm a 'mood strikes me' && 'there is an occasion for it' do-gooder.
Like I see someone who needs a lift, and I'm not in a huge hurry to anywhere, I'd pick them up. There is even this one guy who is always on my way, so I've made a sort of unofficial arrangement to be his driver to where he needs to go everyday.
Another example being recently when a large group of my friends got Pizza to eat, we over-ordered, and there was about (combined) 1 and a half pizzas left over. Everyone was stuffed, so it was easy to convince them that they didn't need to take the left-overs home. I gave it out to some of the beggars who are usually roaming the market.
Are those considered good deeds? Not so sure anymore.
@Andail
I think generalizations are bad, for everybody. They narrow your image of the world by making up rules and guidelines which aren't there. The more dangerous thing is that people usually start to believe in them because they are easy to manage in your head. People are complex and so are their motivation for actions.
I wouldn't say I fall into any of those categories, Andail.
If I was inclined to classify myself on the 'Benevolence Scale' I would classify myself as someone who 'does as he would like done unto himself' - How could I ever expect anyone to help me out when I need a hand if I never go out of my own way to help people once in a while? And equally, If someone does help me out I always show that I am thankful, which is probably why I get annoyed if I help someone and they don't thank me.
[Edit]
Me, me, me... (I cringed when I read that post back).
Hehe, those categories are meant to be taken rather light-hearted. Hence the quite rpg-esque titles and stuff.
Quote from: Stupot on Thu 31/01/2008 09:31:30I'm not sure whether you meant my attitude was a good one or a bad one.
Oh, I'm sorry if it came out sounding like I was implying you had a bad attitude! I didn't mean it that way. I simply thought that your post confirmed my point that people like to be thanked.
Actually, I thought Andail's categories are pretty spot-on, if a little on the cynical side. By that I mean that there are other categories which he left out (such as, perhaps, the Perennial Do-Gooder who might have once started out as a Theist Reward Hunter, but who internalised the good deeds so much that it becomes a part of him). And of course there are always people who don't fit into any of the categories. I would personally class myself as what Andail calls the Pragmatic Socialite, though my circle of friends is far too small for me to think of myself as a socialite of any kind. And I don't
think I trespass on anyone's privacy... but then what do I know? :P
Quote from: Andail on Thu 31/01/2008 12:00:53
Hehe, those categories are meant to be taken rather light-hearted. Hence the quite rpg-esque titles and stuff.
You fail ;)
Anyway, none of us falls in any category anywhere. BUT, through those categories we can be defined. You could be half this and half that. Like, if you're half in the elf category and half in the human category, then you are a half-elf!
Quote from: Stupot on Tue 29/01/2008 21:43:49
The other day I was walking along and some guy was trying to come out of a shop with a child in a pushchair, by using the pushchair to open the door. I opened it for him. Not so that I could congratulate myself, and not because I see myself as a saint, but because the guy was struggling. And if it had been me in his situation I would have been grateful for someone to come a lend me a hand. But this guy just walks straight past me without so much as a semi-appreciative nod.
Perhaps you've hit the nail on the head here.
The reason that we do a good deed isn't necessarily selfish and just doing it makes us feel good; but having done it, if the beneficiary doesn't so much as acknowledge us for helping them then we can feel pretty annoyed by it.
So we don't do the deed to get thanked, but having done it, we feel that some acknowledgement is only fair. After all, thanks is free to give so maybe it's just downright rude for them not to say "cheers".
It might just be because we are all brought up to mind our Ps and Qs. I was always told to say thank you, and that it was rude not to. If I expected the pushchair guy to thank me it was because I have been conditioned by my upbringing and the society I live in.
I've been thinking about this and I've come up with a little theory:
Giving and taking is not just something humans do. In the animal world there are many examples. But I think humans made a giant leap toward becoming a civilised species when they learned how to trade. Perhaps an early man gave his fellow Neanderthal a lump of meat in return for some water. This would have prevented a nasty scrap between the pair and improved relations. It would have also been a matter of survival. The people will have learned that to gain something they would need to give something in return if they wanted to avoid a fight.
Since those days the notion of trade has never left us, and I believe it is in our very genes. It is so inherent in our nature that we feel we feel the need to repay favours, however small, even if it is with the simple words 'thank you'.
This is what we call gratitude. But when the roles are reversed and we are the 'giver' we experience an opposite of gratitude - a kind of expectation for some kind of acknowledgment of our deed. If and when the 'taker' says 'thank you', the 'gratitudinal balance' is restored and we feel better. However if the 'taker' doesn't say 'thanks' the balance is not restored and that feeling of expectation turns into disappointment or even anger... Hence the Eddie Stobbart remark.
I'm pretty pleased with that. It came to me as I was writing.
Quote from: Stupot on Fri 01/02/2008 00:07:36
But I think humans made a giant leap toward becoming a civilised species when they learned how to trade.
We're not the only species to have learned how to trade. Other social animals mainly trade various gifts and "social services" for sex and/or protection, but the principle is the same.
Quote from: tube on Fri 01/02/2008 10:07:22
Quote from: Stupot on Fri 01/02/2008 00:07:36
But I think humans made a giant leap toward becoming a civilised species when they learned how to trade.
We're not the only species to have learned how to trade. Other social animals mainly trade various gifts and "social services" for sex and/or protection, but the principle is the same.
[ot]Trade is something like an 'innate' value in a human being, as hunting antelopes is for a Lion. Intelligence, opposable thumbs and so on would be quite useless without that.[/ot]