Right, a well-stated subject. I really don't understand what I'm doing wrong...
Perhaps I should start at the beginning: You see, a while ago I decided to start various evil plans for world domination. They were all particurlarly evil. I went over them a couple of times, and even tried a few of them out.
The problem comes in here. It just doesn't give me the same thrill as it used to. It's just...kinda lost it's touch.
I've got everything, according to the "SO YOU WANT TO BE A REALLY EVIL GUY NOW, DON'T YOU?" book by I. R. Evillingie.
1. I managed to acheive a super mainframe pc, which doesn't have a mouse or runs any known operating system.
2. I bought a program that makes an annoying beep everytime I type a key.
3. All codes and stuff have nice 3D graphical representations.
4. Got an irritating search engine that shows all the files it's searching throught while it's searching, also using nice 3D graphical representations.
5. I've trained my super-evil henchman to attack the good guy one at at time, and get knocked out with one punch.
6. I've been training my evil laugh, and it's randomness. I'm not sure I've perfected it though.
7. I have an underground lair, though I don't think that's necassary, as I heard some Evil Guys work out of their own bedroom.
8. I put up a sign by the entrance to my evil lair, saying "This is not an Evil Lair of Zor, so piss off and go back home." I'm pretty sure that one gets the point across.
9. I bought a really evil skin-tight suit from Walmart, and it looks so cool!
10. I've practiced, and I'm getting really good at randomly saying "Yes! My plan worked!" everytime something bad happens.
Well there. So what am I doing wrong?
Is anyone else in the same predicament? Perhaps we can all share tips on World Domination...
Please help me...
Do you guys use evil suits? I'm not so sure I need one...
What do you expect to archieve with this thread?
Zor, I'd recommend getting a white fluffy cat. This has two advantages:
1) You can look very evil stroking it on your lap, with a black leather glove
2) My own white fluffy cat is the personification of evil, so you can maybe get some tips from the cat, too
Also, I find that designing new uniforms for my minions that will hide the face nearly completely so that a hero can steal them and use them to infiltrate my lair, and devising over-elaborate ways to kill of secret agents is a great way to entertain yourself.
http://www.eviloverlord.com/
for all your evil overlord needs
Hmm, white, hey? I suppose black wouldn't work very well.
Well, white it is then. I'll check if there's one on E-bay.
Hide their face completely...well just leave their mouth open...That would be really unintimidating for the good guy. Which means it would work well.
Tell me, SHH, what evil name do you do your evil business under? I know that there's alot in a name, like "Extremely Sissy-Boy", or
"Doctor Exremely Vulnerable to Valium" are very silly names. I'm pondering upon my name though...
I haven't got any World Domination plans ever...
I only have got plans to annoy my lil' sister and brothers... Like when I drop my sister's favourite toy into WC.
I had very good laughs then!
Like this...
MUAHAHAHAWWW!!! ;D
How about Evil Enterprises*?
*Copyright Geoffkhan.. I think..Ã, His Mags game :D
I was about to post what eric posted ;)
We need an evil smiley.
"My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones."
lol..
P.s. I just noticed that I reallylove your signature Zor :D
Personally, I plan to achieve world domination by getting all adventure game fans to worship me when I make games, and thus they will be my army of minions, muahahahaha!!!! *sarcasm* ;D
This is also a handy resource:
http://www.villainsupply.com
And, as has been posted somewhere else, ALL the old smilies are evil, if you highlight them. Especially the sad one,Ã, :(, it looks like an angry, poorly drawn Hitler.
Do you have a piranha tank with a bridge over it which retracts at the push of a button so to do away with insolent henchmen/associates?
A Big ass desk in which to plot your evil plans with your evil associates?
A token black henchman who says delightful phrases like 'Yo, what up!' and most importantly 'WURD!!!'
And zombies. You can never have enough living dead.
We do have an evil smiley... >:(
Anyway, my world domination is concealed... You cannot say from my clothes, my room, my things, anything, that I'm planning world domination. Except maybe from my black groundreaching cape and the red military cap, in case I happen to be wearing them.
Getting a cat... I oughta get a white one, so it would really fit into contrast with my black clothes... don't know for sure yet.
I have a henchman too... my bands drummer in has black clothes and pointy boots should suit fine...
But SURELY you MUST have a robe? Your bathrobe will work quite sufficiently. Also, watch mr. Burns in The Simpsons television show. You must learn the way of saying "excellent!" in a devilish manner. You mustn't lack dicipline either on that note, all evil dudes can keep a good face while sitting on their thrones, EVEN with itchy balls or such. Learn these secrets and you will be complete. Also mess up peoples wardrobes and hide the dogs chewtoys!
A robe? Wouldn't a cape do so you could slip away in the night? (http://kotisivu.mtv3.fi/tk/death.jpg)
But you might slip on a banana-peel if you run in the dark. You are foolish TK, foolish indeed to believe that someone would prefer a CAPE over a ROBE! It would be rather embarrassing to do an evil deed and run into a dark alley, only to slip and knock yourself out cold.
How about the ventilation ducts that are easy to crawl through? You got those?
EDIT: Wait, here's the URL for you: http://www.villainsupply.com/ (Your Online Source For Everything Evil tm)
There, you happy? Now you can make your world domination dreams come true.
You need either a really hot or ugly girlfriend.
P.S. I need to find a red cat costume to wear as my evil man on account my sissy scull holloween mask got old.Cats are the devils pet according to a religous group and I don't need a cat costume cause I found a pink pumpkin cause I figured that would be really intiminating.
Wow, you guys are all so cool. I feel threatened.
Villian Supply has alot of cool stuff, but I'm afraid if I order off there my super-secret unidentified identity may become revealed, and I've only got my mother's credit-card.
You are all such cool evil villians, with the exception of Farlander ;) ...
You are really so helpful to me...
How can you slip on a banana peel with a cape on, but not a robe..?
Nothing beats the good old sideways glance.
Walk down the street and choose random people. Look at them menacingly out of the corner of your eyes. And 'accidentally' go shopping for weapons. Go into Kmart and look around the isles for a couple of minutes, and then go to an attendant who you KNOW has been watching you, and ask:
"Hi. I was just wondering which isle your nuclear weapons are in. OH WAIT! THIS IS KMART!! CRAP! erm... pretend I didn't say anything." Then walk away hurriedly whilst mumbling "revenge shall be mine."
That usually works when my bad-ass-ego needs a boost.
I don't know does it count into this, but every time a loud crash or something happens, shout "It wasn't me!"... and then mumble "Hehehee... success" or something...
haha! I like that, TK.
Everyone knows a creepy lair is also a given. None of this "I live with my mum" crap! You need laser guns and a moat. Yes - a moat. They are all the range in Transylvania.
And eat a bagel and a protein shake for breakfast. That is the true madman meal of the morning.
TK: A man with a ROBE is not stupid enough to slip on a banana peel.
Zor©: You must buy a brain implant. They are so in among madmen and evil plotters. A gigantic brain is always good for impressing fellow madmen or spreading fear into the hearts of "good guys".
And, of cource, the second man, you know, who listenes to your plans, comments them, and comes up with extra ideas, and informs you if something happens... like Number Two, Pinky(..sp?) etc.
Haddas: Sleeves and belt mean more clever person..?
QuoteHaddas: Sleeves and belt mean more clever person..?
PRECISELY!
Oooooh, the mayor of my town just announced he's holding a big festival in my town, and everyone on the city is going to be there! This should be a good time to wreak havoc...
Oh yeah, and GinnyW: Sorry, only read your post now, but thanks!
Zor - the trick to being great and evil and mastermindish is NOT to attack while they're together
While everyone's at the festival - go to each house individually and rig it with TNT. Then, when they go home to sleep - blow their asses up. This will achieve much greatness, as well a super evil reputation.
But however will they know it is me, if i am to acheive a super reputation?
I could crinkle all theit neat beds, and be known as the Bed-Crinkler...
Excellent! BWAHHAHAHAAA!!! You could also leave the fridge open! and spray hairspray through the windows to destroy the ozone layer
You can also tune their stereos to a polka or something like that station, turn the volume to full, and leave 'em off. So next time they turn it on... >:D
Quote from: Zor© on Thu 13/05/2004 16:01:02
But however will they know it is me, if i am to acheive a super reputation?
...cause you'd be the only house on the block... still on the block.
Heh, yeah :D
My evil mind can destroy yours. I will freeze your town with a big ice cube!
(Evil Laugh)
I will put my dog's crap on your car and believe me my dogs poo is wicked. watch out here comes her poo.... EVERYONE HA HA HA I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH HER POO.
Now that, IMHO, is not genuine(sp) evil mastermind stuff...
Btw. can the increasing use of formating concidered as sign of increasing evil mastermindnes? I've lately been very much into italiaziazization...
What you should do is walk your dog to the other peoples cars and piss her down on somewhere else then on the tires.