Carpet Fitters

Meowster · Fri 28/12/2007 15:22:02

Unlikely as this may be, if any of you AGS'ers are carpet fitters living in the Sussex area that want to fit a carpet for me before New Years Eve, then please get in contact. There are milk and cookies and all sorts of wonderful things in it for you. You can meet my cats even. They're super nice cats. You're gonna love them loads.

monkey0506 · Fri 28/12/2007 16:02:25

This is the funniest post I've seen all year. Thanks Yuf.

ildu · Fri 28/12/2007 19:39:59

I'm a carpet fitter living in the Sussex area.

Galen · Fri 28/12/2007 20:50:01

Quote from: ildu on Fri 28/12/2007 19:39:59
I'm a carpet fitter living in the Sussex area.

Sussex-upon-Finland?

Meowster · Fri 28/12/2007 20:52:12

Seriously? Because I'm not kidding. Here's what happened:

My family are coming over to visit me on Monday. You know how it is with family right? You want them to think your house is cleaner than it really is. So, in preparation for my family's visit, we replaced all the carpets in our house.

That is, all except for one. The hallway carpet. This is because in preparation for my family's visit, we also replaced the entire kitchen. So we had to wait for the kitchen to be completed before we replaced the hallway carpet.

By the time we were ready to replace it, it was near Christmas. Unfortunately, everyone wants a new carpet at Christmas, so it seems, and we could only find one guy who could fit it. We booked him, but earlier today he called me to tell me he couldn't make it as he'd been beaten up last night. "I broke me jaw, didn't I?" he said, "so I can't do nuffink."

He didn't actually sound much like someone who had just had his jaw broken, but that's besides the point. We've already ripped up the hallway carpet, cleaned the floorboards underneath, disposed of the old carpet and had the new carpet and underlay delivered. Our hallway looks like a wreck (even though it's actually a very expensive work in progress). I can't let my mum see it like this. We can't fit the new carpet, and we can't find anybody who can. Can someone out there help us?

BOYD1981 · Fri 28/12/2007 21:30:02

would your mum disown you if she saw it?
if your family will think less of you because your house is a mess than screw them, if you think your family will think less of you just because your hallway is a bit of a mess then you're a little too house proud.
i don't know much about laying carpets, but if you got them ready cut so they just need to be laid then you could probably do it yourself quite easily.
also, don't you think it's kinda a little bit silly getting your house all looking nice just before a party? if i were you i'd ban red wine, coke and anything else that isn't clear.

Stupot · Sat 29/12/2007 00:02:32

I'm not a carpet fitter, but I live in Sussex... where abouts do you hark from?

Domino · Sat 29/12/2007 00:06:49

I think Pumaman is currently installing carpets on the side until he gets back to working on AGS.

He's definitely not making any money off us.

Meowster · Sat 29/12/2007 00:25:04

Quote from: Stupot on Sat 29/12/2007 00:02:32
I'm not a carpet fitter, but I live in Sussex... where abouts do you hark from?

Brighton

Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens · Sat 29/12/2007 03:15:35

Since when did you need a working jaw to install carpet anyway? Does he carry the tackboard in his mouth?

Renal Shutdown · Sat 29/12/2007 07:06:06

A broken jaw for an English workman is awful. He wouldn't be able to stop for cups of tea whilst charging you labour time for drinking them.

His ability to patronise you would be disadvantaged, too.

Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens · Sat 29/12/2007 07:07:32

haha ^_^.

shbaz · Sat 29/12/2007 07:32:46

Quote from: BOYD1981 on Fri 28/12/2007 21:30:02

i don't know much about laying carpets, but if you got them ready cut so they just need to be laid then you could probably do it yourself quite easily.

Sorta.. a carpet will often shrink with time, and if it's not properly secured then it advances away from the walls leaving an ugly gap there. Since it's so expensive to buy it anyway, having it installed improperly to save a few bucks isn't a good idea.

You need some special tooling, nothing extreme, just big shears. Some types of padding use fiberglass to insulate from the floor and they can make you very itchy and miserable if you don't handle them properly.

EldKatt · Sat 29/12/2007 15:31:10

From your description, I assume the hallway looks as if it's being recarpented. This is different from looking generally messy and untidy. "Excuse us, we're having the hallway recarpeted" is completely different from "Excuse us, the hallway is a bit of a mess because we haven't cleaned it for months". The latter is probably not very good, but I can't see anything wrong with the former. If anything, it's even more serious and mature or whatever than having a perfectly clean hallway. You're having the hallway recarpeted! Does the avarage beer-drinking bachelor who just moved out of his parents' basement recarpet his hallway? No? NO. But you're recarpeting your hallway? Yes? YES! You have an opportunity here to show mom what a great homeowner you are. So show off!

I am, by the way, a carpet fitter living in the Sussex area. I lie about my nationality here to get Swedish girls in bed. I can't help you, though, because my jaw is broken.