Fortnightly Writing Competition - Rashomon Style (RESULTS)

[Baron]

The Mark of Glory

   Chrysaor the sword fidgeted inside his sheath, his sharp edges itching with hungry anticipation.  He shifted his hilt in the wind, sniffing.  Yes, there it was.  Wafting like perfume off a thousand sweating bodies: the smell of battle.  Soon the sunlight would dance down his steel flank, blinding his opponents before cleaving them to death.  He could almost taste their hot blood splashing down his naked sides!  He squirmed uncomfortably within the confines of the sheath.  Soon.  Soon....

   Svalinn the shield nestled closer to her wielder, sheltering him from the fell wind that carried the wretched cries of the battlefield.  She squeezed his shield-arm reassuringly.  He squeezed back uncertainly, and she saw his lip quiver.  He needed not fear: whatever might come to pass, she would be there to protect him.  As long as they stuck together, she would bring him safe through any horror.  She wrapped herself around him soothingly in a gentle embrace.  There was no need to fear.  Now was the time to be calm, to be at peace.

   Pendalynne the pennon fluttered idly in the breeze, flaunting herself before the greedy leers of the enemy.  Oh, how they coveted her, symbol of the regiment's pride and honour.  They yearned to seize her, to have their way with her, to make her theirs.  She flapped coyly; teasing them, daring them.  Her bearer lifted her higher, and her men cheered their unflinching loyalty.  They would all of them sacrifice their lives to preserve her honour, which was as it should be.  She coldly surveyed the approaching chaos, then danced whimsically to show her disdain for it.  Anything that distracted the men from their unflinching devotion to her was beneath her dignity to suffer attentively. 

   Guthrech the codpiece jostled along in the stuffy, airless confines between his wearer's thighs.  His was not a glorious job, but keeping the plumbing in good order was an honest living.  In the heat of the charge the clammy sweat down here churned up like butter, and the little curly hairs scratched like steel wool until the walls of his workstation glowed with an oily rash.  Still, better safe than sorry.

   Chrysaor flashed a deadly grin as he towered briefly above the melee, then he plunged into the fray.  Parry, cut, lunge, parry!  Gah, what was with all the parrying!  That's what shields were for, the mopy lumps.  He was built for thrusting, and penetrating!  Oh, how he chafed to plunge into the inviting warmth of man-flesh!  He threw himself forward, heedless of the danger.  His tip smashed painfully against a metallic flange of armour, but he was undeterred.  Persistence was his motto: eventually they would yield to his lascivious advances.  He smashed his tip again, and reeled dizzily at the impact.  Oh, he liked it when they played hard-to-get.  He shook off the ringing and plunged forward once more.

   Svalinn flinched painfully at the impact, but she tried not to let it show.  All was serenity in the sheltered bubble beneath her.  She shed a deadly rain of arrows like a mother-bird's wing, then deflected another axe blow.  All is calmness.  I am sea of tranquillity in an ocean of storms.  Nothing can -ah!  She recoiled in shock at the little moustachioed dwarf who was crawling forward with an outstretched dagger.  She instinctively stomped downward like a blunt guillotine, denting his helmet.  She HATED dwarves.  They were like the rats of the primate order.  Composure!  She had to regain her composure.  Fine, fine, everything's fine.  Deflect, redirect, absorb.  A graceful tree in a silent grove.  A bed of emerald moss.  Calm.  Calm.  Oh shit, the midget is still twitching!  She crushed down again.

   Pendalynne floated haughtily above the fray.  Everyone was so intent on their little battle that no one was paying attention to her at all!  She fluttered gaily, trying to entice the gaze of someone, anyone.  Hello!  Pretty pennon floating in the wind up here!  Doesn't anyone want to idolize me?!?  Oh, wait, there's someone.  A little stunted man with a twirly moustache -ooo!  Well, he's probably not getting back up after that.  *Sigh*.  She flapped left, then right, bored.  Maybe it was -oh my god!  I've got a tatter!  I've got a tatter!  She looked around to see if anyone was looking, then quickly plucked it out.  Breathe.  It was going to be ok.  All she had to do was -ah!  Her bearer lurched backward alarmingly, sending her swinging through the air.  Watch out, you bumbling twit!  You almost dropped me!

   Guthrech furrowed his rim and tried to stay focused on his job.  The pressure down here was getting pretty intense: if he'd had ears, they would probably be bleeding by now.  The sweat pooled in him like a pond, and the briny smell of the seaside melded with the brawny musk of a wild boar's crotch to make the stale air unbearably heavy.  It was hotter than a furnace down here, so much so that his charge sagged against him like an overripe fruit.  Then, just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, a steel-shod hoof came up and gave him a punt right square in the face.

   Chrysaor was beginning to weary.  His edge was blunted and riddled with nicks and divots.  Once, in a particular fit of eagerness he had tried to pierce the breastplate of an especially juicy looking bit of meat, only to break his tip.  Now he flailed about more than fought, lashing haplessly to and fro, ringing from the impacts of steel on steel.  But through the fog of splattered mud and blood he could see that others were no better off than he.  Everyone was getting a little tired, and a little sloppy.  Another sword popped out of nowhere and took a knock at him, hard, but at an awkward angle, so that it swung onward due to the momentum.  It was then that he saw the opening, saw the sword wielder turn unwillingly to follow the dead weight of the runaway sword, exposing an unprotected length of neck.  He fixated on that opening, barely daring to believe it, watching it grow.  He went for it, wobbling forward while slicing downward.  He could almost taste the blood when his guiding arm was blindsided by an axe, the force of which sent them both flying.

   Svanlinn sagged lower to the ground, sometimes resting gently on the helmet of the unconscious dwarf to save the effort of rolling back and forth.  Her face felt like the back end of a stubborn mule after being flogged for twelve hours.  She had three, no four arrow-piercings now, a gaping axe hole on her lower flank, and a couple of gouges out of her flange.  But she was hanging in there, still shielding her wielder against the enemy.  The sapling bends, but does not break.  But then suddenly she slouched forward, released as her wielder doubled over to smother the dwarf.  For an instant she balanced there, seeing the friendly-fire arrow sticking out of his shoulder.  Probably not fatal on its own, but it would be if anyone bothered to finish the job.  Quickly she tipped over him, determined to continue her duty as a fortified roof over her charge.

   Guthrech screamed in agony: the impact of the hoof had cracked the integrity of his cup and had swollen his ward grotesquely, so that it quickly filled him entirely.  Now, with each passing moment, the swelling increased, slowly forcing him apart at the fissure.  It was like being on the notorious rack of torture, only in reverse, for he was being split apart from the inside.  Except on the rack there was no massively swollen sweaty scrotum.  Wait till the medieval torture masters got wind of this....

   Pendalynne swayed back and forth as if performing a gymnastic ribbon routine.  Why couldn't her lackey's just keep her straight?!  It was so hard to find good help these days.  That bloody axe kept hacking away at everyone who tried to steady her.  Ew!  Blood splatter!  Well, at least she would be carried off and ravished by the strongest and fiercest warrior on the whole battlefield.  She resigned herself to be his trophy, his mark of savage glory.  He'd probably get a knighthood for the deed, and she'd be displayed prominently in his new castle.  Well, there were worse fates.  And then the axe for once missed its mark and sliced through her staff, sending her crashing into the mud.  It was cold, and crawling with filth.  And then a bloody tooth landed on top of her.  Ahhh!  Get it off!  Get it off!  A shrill scream followed by a cracking sound so loud that it carried above the din of battle brought her back to her senses. What was THAT?!?  But she had no time to wonder further, for just then -oh, the indignity! - a grubby midget hand reached out from under a shield-covered corpse and reeled her in.




   

[Ponch]

Sigh. I'm out. I just couldn't find any time to work on it over the weekend. Good luck to all the participants!

[Chef!]

                                          The other side of the world


    Waves crashed over the bow soaking those rowers again and again.  They had not seen a speck of land since they sailed through the straight of  Gibraltar.  That had been five long days ago but Adamon was not worried they had enough supplies for a month. His childhood tutor Laertius had proven theoretically that the world was round and Adamon meant to physically prove it.  He had spent his fortune on this boat and the hundred slaves he had to free to sail it. 
   It was an old dream, one he had had as a child when Leartius had shown him his threory.  How the shadows of sticks lengthened as you moved north.  Ever since then he had thousands of dreams of what he would would find on the other side of the world.  People had already gone east most notably Alexander, but nobody had dared look westward.   Adamon relished the thought, Alexander with his armies of thousands of warriors conquered the some of the west.  Adamon with his one boat conquered the sea and discovered the east.
   He knew he was right, all anyone had to do was look up.  The sun was round, the moon was round, why would the earth be any different?  They would all see soon enough, land was inevitable on a round earth.  Adamon returned to his hammock in the shaded section of the stern and beckoned his serving girls to feed him more grapes.  It was all only a matter of time.
   It was another fine spring day and the wind was strong behind them.  The ship he had made was a modified bireme that was lengthened and widened for open water.  It even had enough room to carry a small skiff at the back which Adamon intended to use for going ashore.  The main ship had three square sails instead of one but retained the standard two oar decks for when the wind failed.  Though the wind had not failed them yet he still exercised the rowers tirelessly to keep them fit. 

                  *   *   *

   Hodo pulled the oar and lifted it back around ignoring the waves as they splashed him again and again.  Around him the other rowers muttered under their breaths but Hodo ignored them.  He was excited to see the other side of the world.  The land of silk and dragons and spices.  He hoped there were pretty girls there, nice girls that liked flowers.  Not like the mean girls from Akrai.  When he picked these new girls flowers they would not laugh and throw them away.  These new girls would be nice and they would smile at him and put the pretty flowers up in their hair.  Hodo wondered what the flowers would be like on the other side of the world.
   â€œWill they have pretty flowers?”  He asked his brother Tatius again.  Tatius was talking to the other rowers and Hodo had to wait for him to finish.  He kept going on about how Captain Adamon had not really freed them. Telling them that they would all drown if they did not turn back.  He told them how much better it would be with him Captain.   Hodo did not listen to it, he liked Captain Adamon and he liked his life as a free man rowing much better than as a slave in the quary.
   Finally Tatius turned to him “No”  Tatius said mockingly “I won't tell you this again.  There is no other side brother.”  He used the word cruelly and Hodo got angry.  He did not like it when his brother belittled him or there kinship.  Hodo's massive hands squeezed the oar until it the wood creaked with strain.  The rhythm was thrown off slightly and the other rowers looked back in concern.
   â€œJust tell the nit-wit the flowers are pretty.”
   â€œNo! I am sick of this madness.”  His brother said standing up defiantly.
   Its too soon someone whispered.  I thought we were waiting till night fell someone else said.
   â€œYou there! Sit down and row!”
   
               *   *   *

   Adamon heard a commotion at the bow.  Unbelievable not even a full week out and his rowers  were already getting cold feet.  This was unacceptable he had freed this man with his own hard earned gold, where was his gratitude?  There was no room on this ship for the weak of heart; he would have to make an example of this one.  Adamon motioned for the guards to toss him overboard.  One bad apple would spoil the bunch.   The man tried to resist but he was no match for the guards who were all Spartan veterans.  The dissenter's calls fell on deaf ears and soon his pitiful rebellion turned into pleas for mercy but it was to late for that now and  Adamon nodded his consent.     
   The Spartans had prodded him onto the edge using only the butts of their spears but now the  captain speared him in the thigh with the precision of an artist.  The mans shriek cut through the salty air and Adamon smiled in approval but his smile faded all to quickly when he saw the leviathan charge into action.

                  *   *   * 

   Hodo was pouting.  He new he was pouting but he did not care.  Tatius was always mean to him.  Always mocking him because he was slow and they had different fathers.  He was always stepping on his dreams and laughing at him with the pretty girls who were mean.
   Hodo barely noticed the men who came for his brother through his watery eyes.  “Now!  Take them now!”  His brother had called but no one was listening and Hodo was glad when one of the men poked Tatius in the belly with a staff.  Hodo enjoyed it as the men laid a beating on him and he even had a few chuckles as his brother was corralled up the boat and only briefly wondered where they were taking him.
   It was only as the poked him over to the edge that Hodo began to worry.  He began to wine and squeezed his massive hands on the oar making the wood creak.  Some of the rowers looked back at him but Hodo's eyes were only on his brother.  He wasn't supposed to stand up unless he had to relieve his bowels. Why had his brother stood up?  Was it something Hodo had said?
   Tatius' shriek cut through his soul and Hodo jumped up and ran.  He cried his brothers name and smashed through everything between them.  The rowers screamed when he stepped on them but Hodo was not listening to anything.  One of the men tried to stab him with a spear but Hodo snatched it from him and beat him over the head with it.  The other mean men tried to stab him and Hodo batted there spears aside and shoved them down.  Something bit him in the shoulder and Hodo turned to see an archer notching an arrow.  Hodo screamed as he through the spear at him.  Instinct drove him to dodge back as a man tried to stick him with another spear.
   Before he was confused and scared; now Hodo was angry.  Hodo did not like being angry and that made him even more angry.  Hodo did not enjoy hurting people, but these people had wanted to hurt him and his brother.
   Hodo bellowed as he blacked out in rage.

                  *   *   *

   Adamon watched it all in awed disbelief.  He would not have thought it possible if he was not witnessing it.  How could such a big man be so nimble?  He stared in amazement as the tough guy simply snatched a spear away as it was being jabbed at his heart. There was no grace to his movements but  somehow the leviathan deflected or avoided the Spartans spears as he continued to press forward.     
   Watching it reminded Adamon of a bear swatting at bees as it reached in for the honey.  Adamon shook his head when he saw the leviathan topple three of his guards at once. He signalled to the archer at the bow because he had the clearest shot.  An arrow hit the brute in the shoulder and Adamon let out an annoyed hiss.  The brute hurled a spear back and the archer hastily loosed his second arrow that hit one of his own men as the spear took him in full in the chest.  Adamon pulled at his curly hair in frustration.
   The leviathan was getting frustrated too and he bellowed in rage.  Adamon was half a ship away but even he stepped back.  Before the big fellow had only wanted through now he was out for blood.  Adamon had held back his aft archers too long, the other oarsmen could sense the changing tide of battle and more of them were climbing to their feet.   
   â€œKill him!”  He cried to the archers.  If they killed him now the ship could still be salvaged.  Adamon watched the arrows fly and he thought for a moment that all would be well.  Then the leviathan lifted the Spartan captain up and used him as a shield before tossing him overboard riddled with arrows.  The the brute quickly dropped out of sight only raising up enough to to swing down his fists massive fists. 
   â€œNo!”  Adamon shouted at the rowers.  “Sit back down you fools!”  Nobody was listening anymore.
   All the oarsmen were now standing or fighting off the few remaining guards.  There was no way of turning them back and there was nothing for it but to surrender on good terms.  “Stand down” he called to his remaining men.  “We surrender, though we do not know how we angered or offended you, oh giant one.”  Adamon could not resist adding in a mocking bow.
   The ship grew still and all that could be heard over the wind and waves breaking against the ship was the despairing sound of a grown man crying as he continued pommelling dead flesh.
   â€œSave your breath.”  Someone called out confidently.  “Believe me your better off talking to a rock.”  The oarsmen made way as the speaker hobbled up to the dais.
   Adamon swallowed when he realized who was addressing was.  It was the man who had started it all, the man he was trying to make an example of.  Nobody had noticed him slip away in the fray.  Adamon considered having one of his guards kill him now, but he had already surrendered and was too honourable to go back on it.
   â€œNow,”  the defiant one said as he stepped onto the upper deck “if you want to know how you angered me, we can start with this stab wound and your men trying to throw me off the ship-”   
   The brute was still sobbing and slogging away at a Spartan corpse and Adamon was not the only one having a hard time concentrating.
   â€œHODO!”  The ring-leader called out angrily.

               *   *   *

   â€œHodo”  Hodo recognized the voice.  It was his Tatius, his brother was alive! 
   â€œHodo stop that its discusting, you've pounded a hole right through him.”
   â€œTatius!”  He called as he ran to his brother wiping at his teary eyes only to smear blood and and gore on his face.  “Tatius is alive! Hodo is sorry.  Hodo did not mean to get Tatius in trouble.  Hodo  likes flowers-”  Hodo voice broke at the word and he started crying all over again “-but Hodo won't ask about them anymore.”
   His brother just stood there smiling and shaking his head.  “You see”  He called out to everyone “better off talking to a rock.”  His brother laughed his cruel laugh and the laughter slowly caught on.  Hodo did not get the joke but he joined in because he did not like feeling left out.
   â€œNow that I am Captain.”  Tatius called out.  “We will be ending this suicidal journey. My first order is to turn this boat around.  With luck we will be back through the straight of Gibraltar in a week.”  The rowers erupted in raucous approval. 
   Hodo almost joined them; not wanting to be left out.   Then he noticed that Captain Adamon was slouching and he began to think.  Captain Adamon, Adamon was Captain.  He was the nice man who had freed them from the quarry and was taking them to the other side of the world where there were nice girls and pretty flowers.  His brother was not the Captain he was a rower, he rowed beside Hodo and they were supposed to be rowing to the other side of the world not back to Gibralter.  It was all too much and Hodo did not like it.
   â€œNO!”  Hodo yelled, angry once more.  “NO!  Tatius is not Captain.  Adamon Captain.” 

                  *   *   *
   
   When the rowers cheered to Tatius' plan Adamon felt utterly defeated.  How could people be so narrow minded.  No one cared what was beyond the next horizon.   Nobody had any vision, they were all blinded by the past.  This young man, undoubtedly a native of Sicily was probably vexed by  the Greek settlements and wound up as a slave.  No doubt he had foolish plans of vengeance that would see all these fools killed.   Adamon felt sick, it was all such a waste and he contemplated jumping overboard and trying to swim the rest of the way.  He knew it was suicide; but as everyone kept telling him this whole venture was a suicide.  At least he would die trying.  Adamon braced himself for the running leap overboard-
   â€œ-NO!”  Adamon stopped himself short.  The lack-wit Hodo could not possibly have read his thoughts.  “NO!  Tatius is not Captain.  Adamon Captain.”  Adamon bulked, what was this?
   â€œNo Brother, I'm Captain now and we are going home.”  Tatius said, calmly ignoring the angry giant.  Adamon thought that would be it and turned his thoughts back to the choppy blue waters.
   â€œNo!  Hodo does not want to go home!  Adamon going to other side. Adamon take Hodo.  Adamon Captain not Tatius!”  The brute had move forward as he shouted till he was right below them.  He was so tall that his chest rose above the upper deck and he pounded the dais with his fists for emphasis.  Tatius stepped back to remain out of reach.
   â€œBrother-”  Tatius began reasonably but Hodo was not having any of it.
   â€œNO!”  Hodo screamed lifting up the plank his brother was standing on and prying it loose.  Tatius was thrown off balance but he managed to stay on his feet.
   â€œBrother!”  Tatius shouted.
   â€œHodo no go home!”  The leviathan was now pulling at a support until it snapped making the whole structure drop a hands-width forward.  Everyone stumbled and Tatius screamed as his brother almost got hold of his ankle.
   â€œSomebody stop him before he tears the ship apart!”  Tatius screamed.
   A plan had been forming and sensing his chance Adamon stepped forward.  “Hodo” he said crouching down and smiling. “How would you like to come to the other side of the world with me, just the two of us, unless anyone else cares to finish the journey.”  Adamon was not surprised when nobody spoke up.

               *   *   *

   Hodo smiled up at the true Captain.
   â€œWe'll take the skiff,” Hodo did not know what he meant and the captain explained.   â€œThe small boat,  we will need supplies, food and water.  You start loading it and I will talk to your brother.”
   Hodo could hardly contain himself.  A whole boat to themselves, just him and the captain sailing to the other side of the world.  It would be even better than before.  Hodo practically ran back and forth grabbing everything he could find not just food and water.  He grabbed nets and rope, fish hooks and canvas.  Nobody stopped him.  Finally when the skiff was almost overflowing Adamon joined him.

               *   *   *

   Adamon left Hodo to do the packing and went to go see his brother Tatius.  Standing before him Adamon said but four words.  “He is your brother.”  Those words said it all, there was no surer way to earn the gods wrath than killing ones brother.
   Tatius looked away but nodded.  The wind now blew colder from the north and the waves crashed.  The rowers had taken to the benches muttering to themselves while they waited.  “There is nothing out there, you'll both drown in the first storm.”
   Adamon was pleased.  He was letting them go.  Hodo was grabbing everything he could find and Adamon smiled.   â€œPerhaps but how will you ever know.”
   Tatius looked at him.  His green eyes flashing.  “I'll know, I've always known when he was in trouble.”
   Adamon shrugged, some siblings had that kind of connection.  He doubted it this case though.  He could believe Hodo had the gift, but not Tatius.  He did not have the heart for it.  Nonetheless he had to have the last word.  “If you can sense him then by years end you will know I was right.”
   Tatius laughed genuinely, pleased with this latest turn of events.  He pointed to the darkening horizon  “I suspect we will know who was right by the end of the night.”
   Adamon swallowed but kept his head held high as he said his last parting words.  “Take care of my boat.”

                  *   *   *

   In the middle of the Atlantic two boats parted ways; the small boat rowed into the storm and the big one rowed away.
            

                  To be Continued..?

   

   
   

[Stupot]

I'm out too.  I was working on a retelling of Hansel and Gretel in the form of police interviews with the two children and how their stories don't quite match.
But it's not going to get finished I'm afraid

[Baron]

Sigh. I'm out. I just couldn't find any time to work on it over the weekend. Good luck to all the participants!

Well, at least Ponch won't be turning our voting system on its head this time around. 

[Ponch]

Sigh. I'm out. I just couldn't find any time to work on it over the weekend. Good luck to all the participants!

Well, at least Ponch won't be turning our voting system on its head this time around. 

I wanted to! I had a very neat story that was told through an AGS forum thread. But I ran out of time and wasn't able to stitch all the fake posts together into one long image. It's too bad. I really liked the story. Ghost disappeared mysteriously on his way to Mittens America and then other strange and sinister events began to unfold in the thread as more and more AGSers went missing until... Well, no point in talking about it now. I bit off more than I could chew and foolishly asked for an extension on a weekend that was already booked with other things I had already scheduled weeks ago.

Oh well. The bits where Ryan Timothy went looking for Baron while Ben304 spent a tearful night weeping on Grundy's grave after he was lost at sea? Sigh. What could have been. Curse you, ambition!

[Sinitrena]

All right, time's up.
Ponch, your idea sounds interesting. Too bad you didn't finish it.

Anyway, we've got four entries:

WHAM
kconan
Baron The Mark of Glory
Chef! The other side of the world

As promised, we'll try the same voting system as last round, with a slight modification: I removed the "message" category and added the "topic" category instead.

Character: You find one or several characters really believable/captivating/magnetic/unique, etc.
Plot: The story arc was well-organized, coherent, and well-executed with appropriate pacing
Atmosphere: This is all about feeling: did the story evoke strong feelings due to excitement/humour/intrigue/wonder/emotional intensity?
Background World: The best setting or milieu for a story; a place brought to life.
Word Choice/Style: The technical art of combining words in clever or gripping ways
Topic: How faithful or creative a story takes on the given topic

You can vote up to three people per category. Every vote counts as one point. Whoever recives most points, wins.

Voting is open untill friday.

[Ghost]

Ghost disappeared mysteriously on his way to Mittens America and then other strange and sinister events began to unfold in the thread as more and more AGSers went missing until...

I would've liked to read that tale! Seriously, someone tell me where I am right now plz! Totally in the dark here.

Votes:
Character:  kconan, baron, wham
Plot: wham, baron, chef
Atmosphere: chef, baron, wham
Background World: No, that would be unfair- all four really did a great job here!
Word Choice/Style: baron, kconan, wham
Topic: again, that would be unfair- all four really did a great job here!

___
An honourable cookie vote to Ponch, too!

[WHAM]

Good comp, guys!

Character: Chef
Plot: kconan
Atmosphere: Chef
Background World: kconan
Word Choice/Style: kconan
Topic: kconan

[kconan]

Character: Baron
Plot: WHAM
Atmosphere: Chef!
Background World: Baron, Chef!
Word Choice/Style: WHAM
Topic: WHAM

WHAM's story was told in a creative style, Baron had the most intriguing characters, and Chef! had the best atmosphere.  Fun game guys!

[Baron]

Character: Chef! & kconan.  I liked Hodo.  At first I thought he was just a Lenny Small, but his will was not so easily bent, and I liked that about him.  I also liked Leo Padrone, for his carefree musings.  I guess I'm just a sucker for the big simpletons....
Plot: WHAM.  With each entry the actual story became more and more clear -very clever.  I would have voted kconan, who wrote a really good plot, but I can't call it "well organized and coherent" due to what seem like minor mistakes (the blind man never says "Nico" before everyone freaks out, there seemed to be some accidental cut & paste repetition, how'd the old blind man get so close to Leo without him realising it?)
Atmosphere: kconan.  The intensity of the situation was well-conveyed.
Background World: Chef! & WHAM.  Chef! for invoking a sense of wonder at an as yet undiscovered world, where your wildest dreams might well come true just over the horizon.  WHAM for giving glimpses of a world gone insane (the Lord of the Flies remake was good).
Word Choice/Style: WHAM.  The observant descriptions like "thin fog of breath before their eyes" and "living shadows in the night" combine with authentic sounding police-speak and journalism.
Topic: WHAM & kconan.  WHAM for the use of multiple media to tell the story (interview, narrative, newspaper), kconan for keeping me guessing where the story was going through the use of such divergent perspectives.

[kconan]

the blind man never says "Nico" before everyone freaks out, there seemed to be some accidental cut & paste repetition, how'd the old blind man get so close to Leo without him realising it?)

The old guy tells them he heard “Your Uncle Nico says goodbye” before everyone freaks out.  Being in a cigar smoking room there isn't that much space, so the old guy didn't have to lunge that far to get to him.  Yea there are some typos in the story for sure, and its a little hard to read.

Edited - I see how it is confusing now.  I should have put the immediate responses to Howard's revelation under the next heading.

[Ponch]

Character: Chef!
Plot: WHAM
Atmosphere: Baron
Background World: Kconan
Word Choice/Style: WHAM
Topic: WHAM

[Sinitrena]

Thank you all for your votes.
Here are your results:

1. place: WHAM
(14 points): This story is definetly the most creative use of rashomon of our four entries. I especially like that the three versions are in completely different styles. Well done.

2. place: kconan
(10 points): The order of the thoughts/dialog in each section aren't always in the order that they happen, are they? That was a bit confusing to read, and there were some repetitions, but other then that, it was a nice suspensful story. Congrats.

3. place: Chef!
(9 points): The strong point of this story are the characters (you won the character category, btw). They are very believable and drive the story. I would have loved to read more.

Thank you for your entries.
WHAM, start the next round!

[Ponch]

Congrats to the winners! Good entries all around.

[Baron]

Congrats to the winners!

Ponch is just pretending to single you winners out -I just received personalized congratulations from him via PM for my triumphal 4th place finish

Good writing people, and well deserved victories!  I look forward to reading you all next time.

[Ponch]

Congrats to the winners!

Ponch is just pretending to single you winners out -I just received personalized congratulations from him via PM for my triumphal 4th place finish

Good writing people, and well deserved victories!  I look forward to reading you all next time.

Betrayal! That PM was sent in confidence! My dirty laundry has been aired! My virtual undies are fluttering in the eBreeze for all to see! Now there's no one I can trust!

Hopefully, next time I'll make the deadline. This was a great theme and I let it get away from me.

[kconan]

  Good game guys/gals

[WHAM]

Yaaay! I think this is my first FWC win, so it's doubly sweet!
I'll think up a new comp during monday and get things going again.