Bazooka Sue - what the hell?

ThunderStorm · Sun 22/02/2004 17:53:42

So I stumbled upon a copy of Silver Games 1, which I had bought in a bundle with Gold Games 2 some years ago and saw there was an adventure game on one of the disks: Bazooka Sue. (1997) It said it was similar to the classic LucasArts adventures, so I gave it a try.

And I was heavily disappointed.

This game has got really beautiful backgrounds. The characters are nicely animated, but the gameplay is terrible. Take this dialogue: (I had to take one from the very beginning, because I didn't play more than three screens)

- May I have your newspaper?
- And what do I get in return?
- Erm, a thankyou?
- Pah, you've got to bring me something better.

Is there anything that hasn't been done wrong here? There's no reason why I would want that newspaper. There's no reason why he wants to keep it, it just lies around there. This is going to be a give X to Y puzzle, without any motivation. The text reads as if a 14-year old had written it. A dumb one. Just in puberty.

I wonder how they convinced their artists to work for them, really. If you ripped the backgrounds and gave them to a randomly chosen member of this community, he would most probably make a better game out of them.

I'm not really frustrated, I mean - I practically got it for free, I'm just shocked that something like that has been sold for money. And that it has been rated 75% by PC Action and 81% by PC something.

Any opinions on this one?

m0ds · Sun 22/02/2004 18:08:45

PC magazines tend to think we have a code of our own. They believe we understand those kind of dialogues, and therefore say "It'll appeal to the point and click fans out there" and give it 70-80% because they believe we'd enjoy it, and that everyone else would enjoy it - including those first person shoot em up fans who'll say, 'yeah fair play, its an adventure game - let them have it' kinda thing.

But yeah, what rubbish dialogue.

Ytterbium · Sun 22/02/2004 18:28:20

I've never heard of that game...and neither has MobyGames. I guess that's a good thing.

ThunderStorm · Sun 22/02/2004 18:52:22

Hmm, did a quick google search, and it looks like this game was only published in Germany.
This review has some screenshots and also gives it 75%, but the dialogue writer has definately taken the wrong job.
I think I have never seen characters with such little personality before. They look beautiful, you hear/read them talk and the whole screen turns into backgrounds, sprites and text overlays. The whole atmosphere goes down the drain.

Oh, and there's a content-free intro, too: Crazy scientist is hit on the head by his own created monster and turns into hundreds of small crazy scientists. Sue drives by in her car and is stopped by a crocodile cop. They vanish in his car which starts bouncing *hihihi*. Then sue comes out, goes on driving and is followed by the police car. They drive along roads, twice through each screen, on a news speaker's desk, out of a computer monitor, and into a small town. That's where you start out as the player. No idea what to do. Don't get it? I didn't either.

What to say?

Igor · Sun 22/02/2004 22:28:32

I was looking for this game for quite some time... is it in english?

MrColossal · Sun 22/02/2004 22:31:26

i've also been looking for this game, it is quite gorgeous looking and i'd rather see larger screen shots than the ones on adventurearchiv

or maybe, the entire game?

ThunderStorm · Mon 23/02/2004 17:32:09

Unfortunately, it's in German.
If you're really interested in it, I could try to convert the CD into an ISO file and put it into my DC++ folder. My average upload speed is 3 KB/s though, so it could take quite a long time to download.

DGMacphee · Mon 23/02/2004 19:14:10

I don't see why anyone wouldn't want to play a game about an anthromorphic pig with big knockers!

On a side note, I read several years ago that they WERE going to convert this game into English.

Obviously, that deal fell through.

MrColossal · Mon 23/02/2004 19:22:01

wow, she is hideous isn't she?

http://awender.fullnet.hu/cdcovers/bazooka_sue/f.jpg

m0ds · Mon 23/02/2004 19:49:09

I'd do her.

If it wasn't for that purple rectangle of a nose.

DGMacphee · Mon 23/02/2004 19:54:25

But aside from that, you'd have no problems having sex with a cartoon character?

EDIT: Nevermind, I think I just answered my own question.

EDIT EDIT: At least she still has big knockers.

MrColossal · Mon 23/02/2004 19:59:18

next thing you know he's gonna want to marry her!!

damn homosexuals are ruining the sanctity of marriage!

DGMacphee · Mon 23/02/2004 20:02:33

You're thinking dogs, eric.

Pigs are different to dogs, cause dogs have got personality.

If a pig had more personality then maybe you'd be right, but it'd have to be one pretty personable pig, like the one from Green Acres.

* DGMacphee weds Butch and Marcellus Wallace.

veryweirdguy · Mon 23/02/2004 20:03:05

Three of AGS's most respected members, talking about sex with a cartoon character. Is there anything more arousing?

DGMacphee · Mon 23/02/2004 20:04:36

Oh yes: The fact it's a FURRY cartoon character too!

Igor · Mon 23/02/2004 20:21:59

Damn... Jenna Jameson with pig's nose. What more do you want?

Quote from: ThunderStorm on Mon 23/02/2004 17:32:09
If you're really interested in it, I could try to convert the CD into an ISO file and put it into my DC++ folder. My average upload speed is 3 KB/s though, so it could take quite a long time to download.

If it's not too much work for you, it would be great

My German is so rusty it hurts (that's what you get from sleeping during classes), but better German than nothing.

Bazooka Sue - what the hell?

m0ds

m0ds