DG's Tech Support Service

[Matt Brown]

Dear DG,

My girlfriend caught me checking out another girl. Crap. what do I do?

[Privateer Puddin']

well, id check if they were up for a threesome

[Matt Brown]

well..see, I'd kinda want to keep my girlfriend, and trust me, she wouldnt be up for that.

I wonder what DeeGee would do...

[magintz unplugged]

Dear Dr Macphee!

I am wondering how to improve my art skills, I really am very bad at art, any suggestions?

also i'm a bit fat, how can I lose weight without effort or surgery...

[Minimi]

Dear DG,

What was created first, the chicken or the egg?

[remixor]

Dear DG,

What was created first, the Vel or the foz?

[DGMacphee]

Dear DG, why did Rincewind ask the question I wanted to ask? Is it because of the time difference? or just because he lives out in that country (when you go to Europe, but then you take the left turn)?

Because you're both the same person.

Go start your own fight club, Tyler!

Dear DG,

The past few weeks I've been dreaming about you in a sexual kinda way. I find your manly advice rather attractive...

...is there hope for me?

Is 'hope' another word for 'gay sex'?

If so, I'm afraid I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans!

Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious -- but the answer is no, I don't find gay sex a turn on.

Dear DG,

My girlfriend caught me checking out another girl. Crap. what do I do?

Leave her and have gay sex with me.

Dear Dr Macphee!

I am wondering how to improve my art skills, I really am very bad at art, any suggestions?

I could give you the typical cliches (LEANS FLERAER!!!!1!), but I've got a better solution.

Go to google.com and click "Images" -- Then type the style of background you want.

Within seconds, you'll have a heap of backgrounds to choose from.

If it works for Kazaa, it'll work for you.

also i'm a bit fat, how can I lose weight without effort or surgery...

Excessive masturbation.

Dear DG,

What was created first, the chicken or the egg?

I think this shows what REALLY came first:



Wow, my first product placement -- WOO HOO!

Dear DG,

What was created first, the Vel or the foz?

BUY COKE -- CAN'T BEAT THE REAL THING!!!

[Rincewind]

YOU NEED TO UPGRADE YOUR COMPUTER!

BUY SOME RAM AND A DVD DRIVE!

It's that simple? Wow, thank you and thank you again, DG! You have made out lives so much easier now! Long live DG!

Because you're both the same person.

Go start your own fight club, Tyler!

No, no - That's not possible - I think it's just the time difference up here in...

...

...Although, that would explain that nasty gunwound in my throat that's been pestering me the last months...

[La Lore]

Dear Daniel:

Why there are no WC in the equator?

[jetxl]

dear DG.
Why did terminator 3 suck?

[Matt Brown]

dear DG,

why do I always drop my drumsticks during large important drum solos?

[DGMacphee]

Dear Daniel:

Why there are no WC in the equator?

I told you why HERE!!!

dear DG.
Why did terminator 3 suck?

Hmmm...

It's got Arnie in it.

It's a sequel.

It's got a director who migrated from b-grade horror.

But most importantly: NO NINJAS OR PIRATES!!!1!

dear DG,

why do I always drop my drumsticks during large important drum solos?

Maybe they're the wrong drumsticks?

Put down those chicken legs and get a proper set!

Remember: Food is not an instrument!

Well, it's either that, or you're just uncoordinated.

[Barcik]

Dear DG,

Can God create a stone he cannot lift?

[Matt Brown]

dear DG,

My Girlfriend refused to forgive me, and now she is dating my best friend to spite me

my question is, what is the ninja way to kill yourself when you arent pissed enough to swallow a frisbe?

[Minimi]

Dear DG,

Can God create a stone he cannot lift?

Hey I asked that one already!!

[Barcik]

Sorry, didn't notice.

[DGMacphee]

Dear DG,

Can God create a stone he cannot lift?

OMG!1! I AERS ALREDY ANSER THSI QESTSHUN!!1! READ PAST PAEGS!1! LOL N00B!!

dear DG,

My Girlfriend refused to forgive me, and now she is dating my best friend to spite me

Then date her best friend to spite her -- It all balances out the nature of the universe!

my question is, what is the ninja way to kill yourself when you arent pissed enough to swallow a frisbe?

The thing is ninjas DON'T kill themselves when they're NOT super-pissed -- Why would they bother when they've busy being all cool looking and wailing on guitars and shit?

When they're super-pissed and there's no one to kill, that's when they kill themselves.

[Barcik]

Dear DG,

I've seen the Matrix Reloaded recently, but unfortunately I failed to understand the ending. Can you please explain to me what the architect told Neo?

[Pumaman]

Dear DG,

Why are there 24 hours in a day? Surely it would make more sense to have 20?

[Barcik]

20 isn't enough to pull of a hit series.