Fortnightly Writing Competition -CAMPING (Results)

[Sinitrena]

Best Character: Mandle's Grabberman

Best Setting: kconan

Best Plot: Mandle An illustration how a story becomes a legend. I like it.

Best Word Choice: I really liked Mandle's style of leaving stuff out. While unusual, it fit well with the story and especially the idea that the narrator wouldn't actually give any explanations. Only slight problem with this is that we do not get to hear what the original Grabberman story actually was. Usually, there's more to an urban legend than murderer grabs people when they call his name. Normally, there should be something like he was wronged and takes revenge, he doesn't realize that he kills but thinks to save people - just something you could define as motivation. Unfortunately we get neither a motivation for the Grabberman of the story, nor for the Grabberman that tells his story here.

Best Natural Obstacle: kconan Nature was not the main obstacle here (that is the attitude of the kids, I'd say), but the climax (the bear attack). It did give some impression of how dangerous nature can be.

Most Substantive: kconan I really like the parallel of the dead mother for the human kids and bear cubs. I would have prefered if the focus of the story was actually on this parallel, though. As is, this is a story about the shenanigans of a couple of teenagers and an exagerated, comedic fighting scene, instead of the moral tale it could have been. (Not saying this isn't good too, it's just not what I like.)

[selmiak]

I dig that grabberman story, I just give all my votes to mandle. Cool story bro!

[kconan]

Best Character: Mandle for Grabberman
Best Setting: Mandle
Best Plot: Sinitrena
Best Word Choice: Sinitrena
Best Natural Obstacle: Sinitrena
Most Substantive: Sinitrena

[Ponch]

Best Character: Mandle
Best Setting: Mandle
Best Plot: Mandle
Best Word Choice: Sinitrena
Best Natural Obstacle: Kconan
Most Substantive: Sinitrena

[Mandle]

Whoops...I'm late again...Thanks for the heads-up, Baron

Best Character: Sinitrena
Best Setting: Kconan
Best Plot: Sinitrena
Best Word Choice: Sinitrena
Best Natural Obstacle: Kconan
Most Substantive: Sinitrena

[Baron]

Just doing my duty as contest administrator.

(hehehe ....duty.)


Alrighty then!  The votes are in ...kinda.  I'm going to wave a cautionary finger at selmiak for just lazily saying all his votes go to Mandle.  Our competitors have poured their souls and several hours into writing these stories: the least you could do is write out your votes for each category.  Even discounting half of his votes, however, would still result in a Mandle victory, though, so I'm going to declare him the winner.

The golden tent of spooky campfire story-telling goes to Mandle.  I thought it was clever incorporating a classic jump-scare yarn into the camping competition, and the way you crafted that horrible turn was certainly chilling.  I too am a little confused by the main character's sudden obsession with becoming Grabberman.  If the character was something he aspired to be, wouldn't he relish the telling of the Grabberman story instead of immaturely abridging it?

If this silver tent's a rockin', don't come a knockin' for Sinitrena.  She championed another underappreciated camping theme: sweaty sleeping bags!   I thought it was an artistically bold choice you made, but you pulled it off vividly.  And it really had to be so rough and lustful that it was off-putting, so that the reader could appreciate Debra's sentiments at the end.  You have my admiration for bravely holding no punches with your pen this time: well done.

Finally, the bronze tent of Ninja Aunties goes to kconan.  It was a thrilling battle of (wo)man vs. nature.  I would gladly forgive you the cheesy fight scene at the end if you'd have just killed off Sarah.  Why, why, why didn't you kill her off?  Our herd is weaker now....

No trophies for Ponch and Stupot, whose fictional fiction was somewhat lacking in both form and substance.

So now it is up to Mandle to take a break from regaling and put on his contest administrator's hat.  Yes, the tall one.  It is now his sole responsibility to come up with a novel theme and rule set for the next exciting instalment of...


...The Fortnightly Writing Competition! 

[Mandle]

Wow...I'm proud to have this honour indeed and will come up with a theme soon!

Cheers to all voters and participants (hehehe....pants.)

To briefly answer why I skipped the full telling of the Grabberman story:

Spoiler

It was partly because I figured that in this fictional world the story is famous, being connected to this horrible incident, and so the narrator doesn't feel he needs to retell it to the reader. I thought it could have felt more like me, the writer, dumping exposition on the reader than the narrator naturally telling his story. Also partly because it is a very generic kind of Bloody Mary story and I figured that as long as the reader knows what kind of story it is, then the details are not that important. And then partly because I felt the full telling of the story within the story would break the flow I was trying to keep going. I wanted it to feel like the narrator was trying to get to his "favorite part" as quickly as he could. But cheers to those who wanted to hear it in full: This lets me know you were getting into the story at least a little bit!

[close]

[Slasher]

My voting is as follows

Best Character: Mandle for Grabberman
Best Setting: Mandle
Best Plot: Sinitrena
Best Word Choice: Sinitrena
Best Natural Obstacle: Sinitrena
Most Substantive: Sinitrena

[Sinitrena]

Well, slasher, you're a bit late, but thanks for your votes. And thanks for all other votes as well.

Congratulations Mandle!!!

And it really had to be so rough and lustful that it was off-putting, so that the reader could appreciate Debra's sentiments at the end.

I just wanted to point out that the roughness and lustfulness wasn't what was off-putting to Debra (and shouldn't be to the reader, not too much, at least). She says herself that they might have done the same thing if Quin hadn't intervened. What is off-putting to her (and the point of the story) is the lack of consent. Quin took their free will, they had no choice. Did I not get that across properly?

[Baron]

Sorry Slasher.  Deadlines are deadlines!

What is off-putting to her (and the point of the story) is the lack of consent. Quin took their free will, they had no choice. Did I not get that across properly?

I did get that Debra was disgusted at the thought of Ian haunting her from exboyfriendland, but it was her nauseous reaction to Celia physically that struck me.  To me she seems to have the emotional will to still love Celia (We have to try), but can't bring herself to see her lover as sexually attractive anymore.  So I guess in my mind I equated the physical reaction to the physical act, although rereading the ending I can see how I might have been reading too much between the lines.  I guess I let my own middle-aged perspective (with my emotional relationship going strong but the physical one not what it once was ) colour my perception of what the much younger Debra was feeling.