Game pitch competition

[Andail]

Time's up for this round, use the poll to help decide a winner!

Are you an ideas kind of person?

Have so many great game ideas that you likely won't ever use all of them?

You now have the opportunity to prepare the perfect elevator pitch, and see if it's as good as you've always thought!

The Rules

• Write a great game pitch in roughly 80 words.
• The pitch should fit a very loose description of "adventure game" (this genre is rather broad these days).
• Send it to me via PM.
• The entries will then be published here anonymously, and we'll vote for the winner.
• The deadline is two weeks from now, meaning I'll close the activity on Sunday 6th.

As a fun side activity, after the competition is over, people may guess who wrote each entry

You can post here for questions or comments, but the actual pitch should only be sent to me via PM.

Good luck!

Behold, the great contributions to this competition:

#1

Welcome in Grand'Teslan

Gyada walks amnesiac in the streets wearing a straightjacket.
Did she escape from an asylum?
She can open every locks, except the ones on herself.
Is she a burglar?
She can't rest.
Nightmares of the city named Grand'Teslan that cry blood harms his mind.
But seems too real.
What secrets hide his freakish inhabitants? Why Gyada is bound to this gory place?
Help Gyada to solve the mysteries of Grand'Teslan, and free herself… and his soul!

#2

Twin Peaks in Oxbridge setting, as an adventure/life-sim:

During university entrance interviews at Clarendon College, one of your fellow candidates vanishes without trace. But when you return for your first term, you discover a clue…

To investigate the disappearance you must delve into the many intrigues and mysteries of Clarendon (from secret societies to academic vendettas to designer drug rings), while also attending lectures and tutorials, finding friendship and romance, and taking part in student activities (drama, sports, parties…) and college traditions.

#3

☼‡§Glory Master!§‡â˜¼

This game is like FF RPG FPS adventure inland of Overlandia, where wicket shadow wizards The Borgias have conquest.  There is being teh Battle for points that get you moawr power, and spellz for teh vanquishment of arch mages.  U r God Beast, a man of handsome musculer kharisma.  U saving teh objectified Sexy Ladys with cunning & brutality.  Theirs fellow beta heroes who follow in ur cause, and u spend moste ur time a loan in there manly company.  Teh game has a serius, melancholy town.

#4

A prank at school ends up with jimmmy dying and is sent to the pearly gates. There's no red carpet for him there so he immediately head for the "Hell-evator" with a "We both know how this will play out so I'll just be on my way" Saint Peter stops him and thinks for a while and decides that Jimmy should stay in heaven because he would probably enjoy hell with its sinful ways. So the main objective is to piss off GOD so much that he sends you back to earth.

#5

Ithaca's Quest

Back in 15th century at Florence, a teenager called Antonio always loved the arts, but his destiny was to be a pizza baker, as his family tradition did already for over 400 years. After the unexpected death of his father, Antonio gains the inheritance money and he decide to direct a theatrical production of the first printed Homer's Odyssey. Now Antonio must find and convince the villagers to be actors, dancers, painters, and musicians with the magic of solve puzzling.

#6

Adam is an ant (a worker ant, to be precise) with a problem â€" while all the others are hard at work like a proverbial… well, ant â€" he just wants to lounge around playing pointandclick games.  However when the termites overwhelm the soldier ants, only his ingenuity - honed by his experience of playing adventure games - can save the colony.  Using only what he can find in the natural surroundings, Adam must make a machine capable of defeating the termites â€" The Termitinator!

#7

A story about a guy who is inexplicably immortal.
The game would be a bit like one of Telltale's games, what with the constant decision making. But the story would be about someone from the Victorian era who for some unexplained reason, becomes immortal. The game would take place over a large period of time. At first he won't know he's immortal, but then people realise he isn't ageing, and then he watches his family die of old age. It fast forwards to the modern day, where he has become a celebrity as an undying man, and an oddity that scientists can't figure out, but that people generally leave alone, and we get a nice little love story that seems to end the game, but then it fast forwards again into the future, where there's a nuclear war and everyone except him is killed. Then it fast forwards into the future again, humans are long since gone, all animals have long since changed or evolved, and he's still alive, completely and utterly depressed. Finally it fast forwards again, Earth is a barren rock, and the sun is getting bigger. He gets enveloped by a supernova and then into a black hole, but he can still think because he's still alive somehow. And so he thinks to himself about how the thought of an afterlife is the worst thing he can imagine, because having lived for an eternity, he hates the thought that so many other people want what he considers to the worst fate imaginable.

#8

A Scythian warrior wishing to prove herself ends up travelling along the silk road alongside an exiled Greek scholar in the quest for a relic of tremendous importance,
the Ur-shanabi, the plant Gilgamesh himself  searched for, which is said to grant immortality. Together they will fight bandits, explore lost tombs and
visit fabled cities such as Babylonia and Persepolis on an epic journey that will make them both question everything about their beliefs and perceptions of the world.

#9

One of the world's biggest game creators has gone missing. A boy thinks that there are clues hidden in his games that will help solve the mystery, and is set on solving it. The game would switch between playing the games to look for clues and investigating the real world. All the while, the main character will have to deal with run-ins with the police as he trespasses to investigate areas, and with his troubled home life, living with his mom who just went through a divorce.

#10

Omniball

In Lewis Candon's world, Luckmeters are used to rank society from 'A' to 'F' according to a person's innate luck. The A-Grades tend to be CEOs and lawyers. On the opposite end is Lewis, an unemployed F-Grade about to take a job where society has deemed he can work safely -- the Omniball lottery.

On the morning of his first day, fellow F-Grade, Brad Pearson, approaches Lewis with a potentially life-changing idea. They're going to rig the lottery.

[Stupot]

Cool idea. My thinking cap is now on.

[Mandle]

Great idea for a contest, and could actually encourage people to take their pitches and do something with them, even if that something is frame it and hang it in their bathroom.

[TheFrighter]

We have to pitch a realesed/in developing game or even an imaginary one ("Lara Croft meets James Bond in Monkey Island")?

_

[Andail]

We have to pitch a realesed/in developing game or even an imaginary one ("Lara Croft meets James Bond in Monkey Island")?

_

An imaginary one. An idea that only exists in your brain so far.

[CaptainD]

Hmm... I always have far more game ideas than will ever possibly see the light of day, but right now my mind's gone completely blank!

[Danvzare]

Sounds brilliant.
Would it be ok to send multiple pitches?

[Blondbraid]

What a fun idea, I just sent one of my many ideas for adventure games in a PM.

[Andail]

Sounds brilliant.
Would it be ok to send multiple pitches?

You can send in multiple pitches, and I'll pick the best one This is a competition after all, so having more than one entry seems a bit unfair...

[Andail]

Alright, a reminder that it's one week left.

I've already got 7 contributions, so the competition is fierce!

[Andail]

Behold, the great contributions to this competition:

#1

Welcome in Grand'Teslan

Gyada walks amnesiac in the streets wearing a straightjacket.
Did she escape from an asylum?
She can open every locks, except the ones on herself.
Is she a burglar?
She can't rest.
Nightmares of the city named Grand'Teslan that cry blood harms his mind.
But seems too real.
What secrets hide his freakish inhabitants? Why Gyada is bound to this gory place?
Help Gyada to solve the mysteries of Grand'Teslan, and free herself… and his soul!

#2

Twin Peaks in Oxbridge setting, as an adventure/life-sim:

During university entrance interviews at Clarendon College, one of your fellow candidates vanishes without trace. But when you return for your first term, you discover a clue…

To investigate the disappearance you must delve into the many intrigues and mysteries of Clarendon (from secret societies to academic vendettas to designer drug rings), while also attending lectures and tutorials, finding friendship and romance, and taking part in student activities (drama, sports, parties…) and college traditions.

#3

☼‡§Glory Master!§‡â˜¼

This game is like FF RPG FPS adventure inland of Overlandia, where wicket shadow wizards The Borgias have conquest.  There is being teh Battle for points that get you moawr power, and spellz for teh vanquishment of arch mages.  U r God Beast, a man of handsome musculer kharisma.  U saving teh objectified Sexy Ladys with cunning & brutality.  Theirs fellow beta heroes who follow in ur cause, and u spend moste ur time a loan in there manly company.  Teh game has a serius, melancholy town.

#4

A prank at school ends up with jimmmy dying and is sent to the pearly gates. There's no red carpet for him there so he immediately head for the "Hell-evator" with a "We both know how this will play out so I'll just be on my way" Saint Peter stops him and thinks for a while and decides that Jimmy should stay in heaven because he would probably enjoy hell with its sinful ways. So the main objective is to piss off GOD so much that he sends you back to earth.

#5

Ithaca's Quest

Back in 15th century at Florence, a teenager called Antonio always loved the arts, but his destiny was to be a pizza baker, as his family tradition did already for over 400 years. After the unexpected death of his father, Antonio gains the inheritance money and he decide to direct a theatrical production of the first printed Homer's Odyssey. Now Antonio must find and convince the villagers to be actors, dancers, painters, and musicians with the magic of solve puzzling.

#6

Adam is an ant (a worker ant, to be precise) with a problem â€" while all the others are hard at work like a proverbial… well, ant â€" he just wants to lounge around playing pointandclick games.  However when the termites overwhelm the soldier ants, only his ingenuity - honed by his experience of playing adventure games - can save the colony.  Using only what he can find in the natural surroundings, Adam must make a machine capable of defeating the termites â€" The Termitinator!

#7

A story about a guy who is inexplicably immortal.
The game would be a bit like one of Telltale's games, what with the constant decision making. But the story would be about someone from the Victorian era who for some unexplained reason, becomes immortal. The game would take place over a large period of time. At first he won't know he's immortal, but then people realise he isn't ageing, and then he watches his family die of old age. It fast forwards to the modern day, where he has become a celebrity as an undying man, and an oddity that scientists can't figure out, but that people generally leave alone, and we get a nice little love story that seems to end the game, but then it fast forwards again into the future, where there's a nuclear war and everyone except him is killed. Then it fast forwards into the future again, humans are long since gone, all animals have long since changed or evolved, and he's still alive, completely and utterly depressed. Finally it fast forwards again, Earth is a barren rock, and the sun is getting bigger. He gets enveloped by a supernova and then into a black hole, but he can still think because he's still alive somehow. And so he thinks to himself about how the thought of an afterlife is the worst thing he can imagine, because having lived for an eternity, he hates the thought that so many other people want what he considers to the worst fate imaginable.

#8

A Scythian warrior wishing to prove herself ends up travelling along the silk road alongside an exiled Greek scholar in the quest for a relic of tremendous importance,
the Ur-shanabi, the plant Gilgamesh himself  searched for, which is said to grant immortality. Together they will fight bandits, explore lost tombs and
visit fabled cities such as Babylonia and Persepolis on an epic journey that will make them both question everything about their beliefs and perceptions of the world.

#9

One of the world's biggest game creators has gone missing. A boy thinks that there are clues hidden in his games that will help solve the mystery, and is set on solving it. The game would switch between playing the games to look for clues and investigating the real world. All the while, the main character will have to deal with run-ins with the police as he trespasses to investigate areas, and with his troubled home life, living with his mom who just went through a divorce.

#10

Omniball

In Lewis Candon's world, Luckmeters are used to rank society from 'A' to 'F' according to a person's innate luck. The A-Grades tend to be CEOs and lawyers. On the opposite end is Lewis, an unemployed F-Grade about to take a job where society has deemed he can work safely -- the Omniball lottery.

On the morning of his first day, fellow F-Grade, Brad Pearson, approaches Lewis with a potentially life-changing idea. They're going to rig the lottery.

[Gurok]

I voted for #6, but I might as well include my thoughts on some of the others.

1st. #6 - I'm a sucker for wordplay. This was the most entertaining pitch to read. I like the idea of playing as an ant. I think the adventure gamer backstory could work well if it avoids in-jokes.
2nd. #9 - I actually think there are too few games about game makers. We have movies about film makers, books about writers. It's an aspirational career, so there should be more. The setting has all the good features of an 80s kids film. Would be happy to play this.
3rd. #2 Twin Peaks in Oxbridge setting - Definitely up my alley, setting-wise. Gameplay might be too similar to Persona, but I think there is room for more than one game like that.

I think I know who submitted #4.

These were really fun to read. I'd like to enter in the next one (if there is a next one).

[Hobo]

No direction on voting, so I'll do the usual 1st, 2nd, 3rd.

Did you somehow miss the poll and the big red text in the first post that tells you to use the poll?

Edit: Well, seems you noticed it and edited accordingly.

[Gurok]

No direction on voting, so I'll do the usual 1st, 2nd, 3rd.

Did you somehow miss the poll and the big red text in the first post that tells you to use the poll?

It wasn't there when I replied.

[Cassiebsg]

To be honest, I had no idea how to vote... since there's no info on the entry page... and I only read the last not read post...
I voted #4, since it made me laugh and I enjoy the "lets piss off GOD!" for a change.

But there's a bunch more I would love to play.

[cat]

I voted for #5. This seems so joyful with nice puzzles and lots of interactions with other people.
#6 could also be fun.

#2 would be great if it wasn't for the life-sim part.
#4 could be fun if done well, but chances are that such a character would also piss of the player, not only god.

[Snarky]

My vote was also for #5 (pizza baker wants to be theater producer). Out of all the entries this is the one where I feel I have a clear idea of how it would play, and "recruit a team through puzzle solving" is a solid, proven AG structure.

#8 (quest for Ur-shanabi) is my runner-up. The pitch really conveys enthusiasm for the subject matter, which makes me interested in playing it, and I like a good mythological quest. My main concern is that the gameplay remains pretty vague (it almost sounds more like an RPG or action-adventure, and I'm not even sure whether I'm playing as the warrior, the scholar, or both), and " will make them both question everything about their beliefs and perceptions of the world" is too movietrailery for my tastes.

In third place I'll pick #4 (pissing off God). It'd be a fun premise for a short game, like a MAGS or something. Cat's concern sounds like the danger of what Blondbraid recently called the "Unlovable Rogue" archetype (i.e. asshole protagonist), though I think explicitly framing the character as a bad person helps mitigate it.

In general, I feel that a lot of the entries would have benefited from giving a better idea of the content and gameplay of the game, rather than just teasing the story. Like, #10 (rig the lottery) is a good setup, but I have no idea of what the game actually consists of. Also, while there's a lot to like in #6 (adventure gamer ant) and #9 (Ready Adventure-Player One), I tend to be skeptical of adventure games where the main character is an adventure gamer: it's such a go-to premise in the indie/amateur community, and the self-referentiality gets a bit tiresome for me. I'm clearly out of step with other voters on that point, though.

[Sinitrena]

I voted for #1 with 6 and 8 as close runner-ups. I like the mystery presented in 1 even though it tells little of the story or potential game play.

#7 is an interesting read. It's a fascinating topic and philosophical problem but I doubt it would work as a game. Time-jumps are just not a good game mechanic, even for games released in chapters. That's a concept for a book, not a game.

[Danvzare]

1st: 6   Adam is an ant
2nd: 2   Twin Peaks in Oxbridge
3rd: 10  Omniball


After all of the voting is done. Could you release ALL of the pitches.
I would love to read everything everyone came up with

[Matti]

I'd love to see #5 and #6 being made into a game

[CaptainD]

Some great ideas here, 9 wins my vote.

[Durq]

Number 9 ("One of the world's biggest game creators has gone missing") gets my vote too. It reminds me a bit of Ready Player One.

[Stupot]

Damn, I totally forgot to send a pitch. Hope there's a new round soon.

My vote went to #9. I love the idea of playing games within a game but for an actual purpose that serves the main plot.

My runners up are #2 and #10. I'm currently playing Life is Strange and #2 is basically that. But I liked the pitch anyway.

[Andail]

Before I share my own thoughts, how do people feel about the results - are you fine with having the poll made public, or should I just announce the three 'medalists'?

[Snarky]

Oh, are the results not visible to everybody (who has voted)? I assumed they were, but maybe I only see them because I'm a mod...

[Andail]

I've checked the setting "show after poll expired" so it shouldn't be visible. Maybe a non-mod can comfirm this, might be good to know for future reference.

[TGames]

Yes the results don't show. It just shows all of the numbers, with the choice you picked in bold.

[Snarky]

Well, I think people should get to see the scores once voting is over, at least.

[Blondbraid]

I ended up voting for 5, since it had both a potentially fun story as well as lots of potential puzzles and gameplay, plus I love games with historical settings.
With most of the other pitches, they either had a good story but were very vague on how it'd be translated into gameplay or the story was just an excuse to string some fun puzzles together, but number 5 felt like it had both.

[Mandle]

plus I love games with historical settings.

I was actually thinking that was probably your pitch.

[Cassiebsg]

plus I love games with historical settings.

I was actually thinking that was probably your pitch.

+1

[Blondbraid]

plus I love games with historical settings.

I was actually thinking that was probably your pitch.

+1

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but my pitch was:

Spoiler

[redacted]

[close]

[cat]

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but my pitch was:
...

I thought so
It's a nice setting but like Snarky, I couldn't really imagine what the gameplay would be like.

[Monsieur OUXX]

#3 Ha! ha! ha! ha! I couldn't stop laughing. 5 to 10 years later, the spector of Icey Games early works is still haunting these forums! Who wrote that? Is it monkey_05_06 or someone else? Come on!  :-D

[Snarky]

The entries are supposed to be anonymous, so please refrain from identifying them while voting remains open. I've redacted Blondbraid's post.

There's fierce competition for both the first spot and the third spot, so get your vote in before it closes tomorrow!

[Creamy]

I voted for #5 too because I'm a sheep.

I'd like to think that I made this choice freely but I don't know how much I've been influenced by others.
Next time, I'll cast my vote before reading the comments.

[cat]

I also want to point out, that if #5 is ever made into a game, it has to have graphics by Matt Frith

Spoiler

[close]

[Stupot]

Well done to number 5.

I was going to guess that the author of 5 was Creamy but I just saw his comment above so it can't have been him.

So I'm guessing Selmiak.

I'll update this post later with some more guesses.

[Creamy]

I was going to guess that the author of 5 was Creamy but I just saw his comment above so it can't have been him.

Like you, I forgot to submit a pitch on time.

Because of the setting, I'm going to take a wild guess at lorenzo for #5

[Snarky]

Congrats to #5 and #9, who are clearly the people's favorites!

I think when I made my vote I had a very definite, though not quite articulated, view of what a "good pitch" means, but the more I think about it the less certain I am. You could certainly make the case that the only thing that matters is grabbing your attention so you're interested in hearing more. In that case, giving any sort of idea of how the game will actually play may not actually matter at all. Saying too much may even be a mistake.

I guess what I'm saying is that there's a difference between e.g. pitching a game concept internally at a game studio (for something like DoubleFine's Amnesia Fortnight) or to potential collaborators, or pitching a game-in-development to potential investors, and pitching a completed game to potential players. Your audience, as well as what kind of credibility you bring to the table, makes a difference.

[selmiak]

I was going to guess that the author of 5 was Creamy but I just saw his comment above so it can't have been him.

So I'm guessing Selmiak.

Maybe...

Spoiler

I didn't enter this compo...
but I voted

[close]

[Gurok]

I think that #4 was Mouth for War.

[Stupot]

Hmmm I've been thinking:

#1 Cassiebsg
#2 Gurok
#3 Selmiak
#4 Mandle
#5 Cat
#6 Danvzare
#7 Slasher
#8 (I saw the thing)
#9 CaptainD
#10 Hobo

Now tell me how wrong I am.

[Mandle]

#4 is not my pitch, Stu.

I would say #3 is pure Baron or Ponch.

[Stupot]

#4 is not my pitch, Stu.

Drat!

[Cassiebsg]

And I didn't submit either. Forgot about it.
EDIT: Also not my writing style or choice of topic.

[cat]

Hmmm I've been thinking:

#5 Cat

No sorry, I didn't even submit anything. I had an idea but didn't get around to write a proper pitch. But I voted for #5.

My guesses:
#1 Sinitrena
#2 Gurok
#3 Ponch
#4 Mandle (even so he says it isn't)
#5 Danvzare
#6 Baron
#7 Hobo
#8 Blondbraid
#9 CaptainD
#10 WHAM

[Stupot]

Maybe in the next round Andail (or another host, if it changes) can post the names of all the people who submitted something. That should make this guessing part a bit easier.

[CaptainD]

Mine was not #9 folks.

[Mandle]

#4 Mandle (even so he says it isn't)

It's not.

[Cassiebsg]

But you must admit, it's you all over... Cause I also thought it was something out of your mind (maybe cause of that joke game you made for MAGS ).

[Snarky]

I'm not going to try and guess, but I can reveal that I did have an entry, which I think you can probably identify almost entirely by process of exclusion.

[Mouth for war]

I'm on that list...

[Hobo]

Maybe in the next round Andail (or another host, if it changes) can post the names of all the people who submitted something. That should make this guessing part a bit easier.

That's a good idea, otherwise it's damn near impossible to guess.
You can cross my name off your lists, I did not submit anything.

[Privateer Puddin']

I didn't submit anything, but I voted for 10!

[Jojo_the_monkey]

Congrats to all the entries!! I am new member here so I can not match numbers to persons, as I still do not know the personal style of each one. I voted for #2, because an adventure with an academic setting is something that I would definitely check. I liked the ideas of #6 and #9, but the meta-games are not my cup of tea.
On the results, #5 + #9 make a missing pizza baker that the clues about his disappearance could be found on the pizza shop and the pizza slices!!

[Sinitrena]

No sorry, I didn't even submit anything. I had an idea but didn't get around to write a proper pitch. But I voted for #5.

My guesses:
#1 Sinitrena

Sorry, I didn't submit anything either.

[Mandle]

But you must admit, it's you all over... Cause I also thought it was something out of your mind (maybe cause of that joke game you made for MAGS ).

I made that joke game at the last minute when that MAGS was going to be a one horse race otherwise...

Just wanted the honest entrant to have something to win against at the time.

I think someone else also ducked in and it went 3 ways?

Good times in any case!

[TGames]

I participated in this competition, but since I have only been active very recently, I don't think anyone would be able to guess my writing and idea style

[Mouth for war]

Well since it's over, mine was number 4! I've had that idea for quite a long time but I guess that's what it will stay as unfortunately...an idea! and yes he would piss off sensitive players...even more than the first game!

[Mandle]

I'll come clean now and admit that I didn't even enter. I voted for #7. Even though it was too long for the contest and was full of spoilers I felt it would be a great game.

[Jojo_the_monkey]

Mine was #5. So thank you everyone for the votes!!! I am must think now of the puzzle dependency chart.

[Snarky]

Congrats, Jojo! You got my vote.

... And it seems I got yours, since my entry was #2. Thanks! (For a long time, my entry and one or two others were the only ones without any votes, which wouldn't have been so nice.) Thanks also to those of you who had it as an honorable mention. I haven't played Persona or Life is Strange, but from descriptions neither seem to have the kind of gameplay I was imagining for this concept, which probably means I didn't explain it well. (Basically I was thinking puzzle-solving around figuring out people's secrets, plus stat-building in various disciplines, as an academic/extracurricular QFG.)

[Danvzare]

#6 Danvzare

Well you're wrong about which pitch was mine. If you were right, that would mean that I voted for myself.

#5 Danvzare

Thanks for the compliment, but I didn't make that pitch either. I'm not that good of a writer.


Here's a hint, my pitch only got one vote.
I have zero guesses as to whose pitch is whose, so I'll refrain from guessing. (Am I using "whose" correctly?)

Also, congratulations Jojo on winning.

[CaptainD]

#6 was mine, so thanks Danzare for your vote!

[Stupot]

Well it seems I got 10 out of 10 wrong. Not a bad effort.

[TheFrighter]

Well, if Andail pardon us... My entry was #1.
It's my first game pitch ever, but now I see what you intended.

Hmmm I've been thinking:

#1 Cassiebsg

My guesses:
#1 Sinitrena

What, really?

Also not my writing style or choice of topic.

Sigh!

I voted for #1 with 6 and 8 as close runner-ups. I like the mystery presented in 1 even though it tells little of the story or potential game play.

Thank you Sinitrena, I'll remember you in my prayers!

_

[TGames]

Mine was number 9, Thank you to everyone who voted

[Cassiebsg]

TheFrighther, don't be that sad. I didn't say I wouldn't play such a game... but I doubt I would make a game with an amnesic character... and for writing style... we all have our own, just cause I don't write like that does not mean it's bad way to write... in fact I suck at writing.

[Snarky]

So so far we have:

#1: The Frighther (2)
#2: Snarky (1)
#3: ? (1)
#4: ? (2)
#5: Jojo_the_monkey (7)
#6: CaptainD (3)
#7: ? (1)
#8: Blondbraid (it was the one I redacted) (1)
#9: TGames (6)
#10: ? (1)

Others who participated:
Danvzare (1 vote), Mouth for War

Others who didn't participate:
Stupot, Selmiak, Mandle, Cassiebsg, cat, Hobo, Privateer Puddin', Sinitrena

[Cassiebsg]

Mouth for War is #4, he said it on the previous page.

[Stupot]

So #3 is Baron or Ponch
#4 Mouth for War
#7 Danvzare
#10 has got Silverspook written all over it.

[Danvzare]

#7 Danvzare

Yep, that one's mine!

I'll come clean now and admit that I didn't even enter. I voted for #7. Even though it was too long for the contest and was full of spoilers I felt it would be a great game.

Since you're the only one who voted for my pitch Mandle, you're now my best friend forever!

[Cassiebsg]

Yeah, I thought that story was more an interactive novel than an AG.

[Mandle]

Since you're the only one who voted for my pitch Mandle, you're now my best friend forever!

Wooohooo!!!

[Gurok]

Privateer Puddin' is my best friend. Thank you, Privateer! #10 wasn't Silverspook's, Stupot

[Stupot]

Privateer Puddin' is my best friend. Thank you, Privateer! #10 wasn't Silverspook's, Stupot

How do you know tha- oooooohhhh.

[Andail]

Glad you liked it, we can have another one soon enough

Congrats to the winner(s)!

One thing that strikes me is that there were very few gimmicks or unique selling points presented; people were generally happy to share a nice idea for a story. Adventure games are a bit special in that respect; a game pitch can be basically a nice story.

[TheFrighter]

One thing that strikes me is that there were very few gimmicks or unique selling points presented;

Can you make an example, Andail?

_

[Snarky]

One that comes to mind is how Grundislav is pitching Lamplight City: "A detective adventure where it's OK to fail" (as PC Gamer phrased it). It highlights an innovation or distinct feature that sets it apart from the genre as a whole.

I found that the ca. 80-word limit meant having to be very choosy about what to include and what not to include. I had two "gimmicks" in mind that I wanted to mention, but decided to leave out for the sake of brevity (as a reminder, this was the game where you're a student investigating a disappearance at an Oxbridge-style university):

-You start the game playing as the candidate who disappears, and the choices you make in this intro will influence elements of the mystery later on. In this section you also designate the character you'll play in the rest of the game (you ask one of the others to look after your stuff while you step out, and that person becomes your character).
-The game takes place over a full academic year (three terms), with the big climax taking place at the May Ball. (I always like it in games when you get to see familiar locations dressed up in new ways, and here you'll both see them change through the seasons and literally dressed up for a big ball.)

(Both of these gimmicks would complicate development immensely, but since it's just a pitch for a game I'll probably never make, who cares?)

[Danvzare]

One thing that strikes me is that there were very few gimmicks or unique selling points presented; people were generally happy to share a nice idea for a story. Adventure games are a bit special in that respect; a game pitch can be basically a nice story.

But quite a few of the pitches that I sent it, were about gimmicks and unique selling points.

[Creamy]

You start the game playing as the candidate who disappears, and the choices you make in this intro will influence elements of the mystery later on. In this section you also designate the character you'll play in the rest of the game (you ask one of the others to look after your stuff while you step out, and that person becomes your character).

This idea of choices leading to different outcomes appears in many game pitches.

There are few point and click games that pull it off well - Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, Quest for Glory and the like (with RPG elements).

In many cases I think it's mostly smoke and mirrors (Telltale games...) or branching pathways near the end with limited impact on the game itself (The Dig...)

[Mandle]

This idea of choices leading to different outcomes appears in many game pitches.

There are few point and click games that pull it off well - Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, Quest for Glory and the like (with RPG elements).

In many cases I think it's mostly smoke and mirrors

UNTIL DAWN!

What a load of BS!!! (Butterfly Silliness)

[Snarky]

I didn't say it would lead to different outcomes (apart from various failure/bad endings if you screw up); I meant that it would affect the gameplay along the way. Basically the RPG elements you mention. Me making the case for a game that isn't going to get made probably isn't the most interesting thing to read, but if you want:

Spoiler

Designating the character you play as for the rest of the game would be a lot like choosing your team in Maniac Mansion or picking a character class in QFG (and maybe Unavowed, if I've understood the design correctly): different characters have specific abilities, strengths and weaknesses that open up and close off gameplay possibilities with alternate puzzle solutions and side quests. Maybe one character is strapped for cash, and if you play that character you'll have to look for ways to make money throughout the game, and you probably won't be able to afford tickets to the May Ball and will have to sneak in somehow; maybe one character has an identical twin, and you'll be able to use that to trick people in various ways, but you'll also have to help your twin with their problems; etc. Different characters will have different starting points in various stats (academics, athleticism, social skills, etc.), which you'll need to perform particular tasks and that affect the various in-game rankings, but you'll also be able to influence them by how you allocate your time on different activities.

Similarly, other things you do in the intro might affect where certain clues can be found later on, or other minor details, but wouldn't change the main elements of the mystery or the direction of the story. This is not intended as an emergent or highly branching narrative.

I think different paths, alternative puzzle solutions and multiple/customizable playable characters are necessary to make the RPG/life-sim gameplay elements I have in mind meaningful. The drawback is that it increases the development effort immensely. If I was actually looking to make this idea real I would have to think very seriously about where to cut back and refocus. The great thing about this contest is not having to worry about any of that.

[close]

The competition got me to write down a bunch of other ideas I've had swirling around in pitch format, so I look forward to the next round, Andail!

[Creamy]

I didn't say it would lead to different outcomes (apart from various failure/bad endings if you screw up); I meant that it would affect the gameplay along the way

Maybe I should have distinguished between 2 kinds of promises :
- promise that the story will change depending on the actions of the player (Telltale games typically).
- promise that the puzzles will change depending on the actions of the player (more like Quest for Glory or your game).

Some pitches even promise both things at the same time.

Me making the case for a game that isn't going to get made probably isn't the most interesting thing to read.

I find it interesting. Even if your idea sounds different in tone and more ambitious, I can't help but think of Kate and Shelly stick together when you speak of alternate puzzle solutions and Oxbridge-style university

These games are so much fun to imagine and to play - though a hell to produce.

I always like it in games when you get to see familiar locations dressed up in new ways, and here you'll both see them change through the seasons and literally dressed up for a big ball.

Yes, it's a very effective way to evoke the passage of time.

[Baron]

So #3 is Baron or Ponch

Guilty as charged.

I voted for Blondbraid's #8.  C'mon, guys!  Scythian she-warrior and Greek academic on a road trip through central Asia -that's got good times written all over it!

[Snarky]

That gives us the full list of entrants:

#1: The Frighther
#2: Snarky
#3: Baron
#4: Mouth for War
#5: Jojo_the_monkey
#6: CaptainD
#7: Danvzare
#8: Blondbraid
#9: TGames
#10: Gurok

[cat]

Nice competition and entries! I hope some of the games will be made

Next time I'll join the competition with a pitch as well.

[dactylopus]

I wish I had seen this earlier, I may have pitched a game idea.

Lots of great stuff in here, though.  It would be great to see these games developed!

[Gurok]

This was a nice competition. I enjoyed reading the entries, voting and the air of mystery surrounding the entrants. Let's have another!

[Mandle]

Let's have another!

+1!

[Danvzare]

Let's have another!

+1!

+2!

[Snarky]

If someone wants to organize another round, I think you can just go ahead and start a new thread (maybe let's sort out who's going to do it first on this thread, so we don't get a bunch of competing ones). Once you have the submissions, I can easily add the poll to the thread for voting.

[Andail]

I was gonna start a new one on Sunday, because I like consistency. If you can wait that long

While you wait, you can polish your pitch and make sure it's as attention-grabbing, buzz-generating and investment-worthy as possible!

[Snarky]

While you wait, you can polish your pitch and make sure it's as attention-grabbing, buzz-generating and investment-worthy as possible!

DoubleFine Proudly Presents
Ron Gilbert's
Return to Monkey Island

With graphics by Bill Tiller

[Jojo_the_monkey]

While you wait, you can polish your pitch and make sure it's as attention-grabbing, buzz-generating and investment-worthy as possible!

DoubleFine Proudly Presents
Ron Gilbert's
Return to Monkey Island

With graphics by Bill Tiller

Snarky please, don't play with our health!!!
PS: You forgot to write: Music by Michael Z. Land