New Parent Hacks

Stupot · Fri 29/11/2019 00:10:09

Hi all. Last Sunday, my wife and I were gifted with an adorable baby boy.

Any survival tips for the father of a brand-new adventurer?

Cassiebsg · Fri 29/11/2019 00:21:48

Congrats!

Yes, when you are changing his diaper, remember that boys pee all over.

Jack · Fri 29/11/2019 00:40:55

Congratulations!

I think Japan is definitely one of the best countries to raise a child in these days.

milkanannan · Fri 29/11/2019 02:27:20

Quote from: Stupot on Fri 29/11/2019 00:10:09
Hi all. Last Sunday, my wife and I were gifted with an adorable baby boy.

Any survival tips for the father of a brand-new adventurer?

Congrats! Hope you've enjoyed sleeping up to this point, because you're never getting it again.

Tip 1: Coffee is a way of life now. Buy brands you really like, even if a bit expensive. When you're getting out of bed for work after only three hours of sleep for the second night in a row, at least you have a decent cup of coffee to look forward to.
Tip 2: Your wife's parents are going to want to get super involved, and it might seem really intrusive at first (it did for me). In the long run, you will have lots of time with the kid, so try to appreciate the quiet moments you and your wife have when grandma/grandpa insist on taking over for a few hours.

Slasher · Fri 29/11/2019 08:22:40

Quote from: Stupot on Fri 29/11/2019 00:10:09
Hi all. Last Sunday, my wife and I were gifted with an adorable baby boy.

Any survival tips for the father of a brand-new adventurer?

Well, being a father to 3 sons born within a year of each other I can tell you times were quite tough..

Welcome to the world of parenting... If this is your first

My advice' would be:

1) Don't talk 'baby talk' to them... at the same time they are only babies. just ease off the' baby talk'... and get involved with changing/baths etc..
2) Always tell them why it is wrong when the they do something wrong...
3) The days of getting the belt have long gone (thank god)... Your speech tone should be enough to let them know they have done wrong...
4) Reward them in some way when they have done well... Just 'words' alone may be enough...
5) If they get into a 'paddy' don't start shouting at them or give in to their demands... after you have tried finding out what may be the reason of course... If it appears that they are just having a paddy over something unreasonable then tell them so and just ignore them....they generally stop when they realise their paddy is not working... Then again a bottle of milk may do the trick.
6) Wean them off their dummy before they are 3 months... or don't use one at all if you can..
7) As they get older award stars to a chart when they have done well and put a list of their chores up on a chart.
8) Get them involved in doing things... not by force.. Kids like helping, but on their terms...
9) Give them knowledge... Read to them...Let them read or act out a play a home etc...
10) Insist they always check if it is legal and safe before doing something...
11) All kids will be a little naughty at times...Learn how to deal with it as it should be done...
12) Kids like treats....surprise them sometimes... it works wonders... and it doesn't always have to cost anything...
13) Show them kindness but be firm when you need to be..
14) Enjoy them 24/7... You are their parent and mentor...

Congratulations Stu

DBoyWheeler · Fri 29/11/2019 10:34:15

Yay! Congratulations, man!

CaptainD · Fri 29/11/2019 10:57:05

Congrats mate!

Remember to try to spend some time with your other half. Babies tend to take up all your time and energy so this is much more difficult than it sounds, but pretty essential.

Enjoy your adventures in daddyhood!

Stupot · Fri 29/11/2019 14:57:50

Thanks for the congrats and tips. Keep them coming. This is all useful information, thank you. I'm already so in love with my little boy.

Those of you mums and dads on here, what are some of the things that most took you by surprise about having a kid, especially early on. And what lessons did you learn the hard way that you can share to help out me and other new and future parents?

Mandle · Fri 29/11/2019 15:03:41

Remember at all times that your son is exactly you, except able to live well beyond your years and therefore able to live your life much better than you did, given all the wisdom that you will install in him by telling him things like "I wish I had known this when I was your age!".

Remember to tell as many Dad jokes as possible so that classic comebacks like "Well, nice to meet you Hungary, I'm ~~Czechoslovakia~~" will never die out.

Remember to always fear new trends that your son latches onto during his formative period and even upwards into his teens and elderly years because you didn't take the time to look into them much.

Remember to foam-cushion every sharp corner he can hurt himself on while still an infant so that he can grow up secure in the knowledge that sharp edges are not a threat.

Remember to punch him in the shoulder as a sign of love whenever he does something right, like bros do. Hugs are for wusses.

Remember to never, ever listen to any of my advice ever again.

Danvzare · Fri 29/11/2019 15:19:39

Congratulations.
As for survival tips, the only experience I can speak from is my little brother. So I don't have much (if anything) to give.

Quote from: Cassiebsg on Fri 29/11/2019 00:21:48
when you are changing his diaper, remember that boys pee all over.

This. Exactly this.
Keep the front covered, and do a lightning quick swap, like on Indiana Jones.
I've heard enough stories about me as a kid to know that one. And I still remember the time my little brother accidentally peed into his mouth because of that.

CaptainD · Fri 29/11/2019 15:58:33

Stu is well ahead of his time, he's been telling dad jokes for year now!

I guess the biggest surprise is how completely exhausting it all is - you know beforehand that it will be, but somehow you never quite appreciate how bad it is until it happens...

The biggest surprise for me was, in a way, how readily I took to parenthood. It's such a fundamental change to your life and nothing can truly prepare you for it, so when things start to come to you naturally it's a great relieve and a nice surprise. (Please don't think I'm saying it's EASY... but some things will come to you quite naturally that you might have been a bit apprehensive about beforehand.)

Biggest surprise was that nappy changing really wasn't all that bad once you'd got used to it!

Privateer Puddin' · Fri 29/11/2019 16:02:53

Quote from: Mandle on Fri 29/11/2019 15:03:41
Remember to tell as many Dad jokes as possible so that classic comebacks like "Well, nice to meet you Hungary, I'm ~~Czechoslovakia~~" will never die out.

Stupot has been preparing all his life for this.

Kastchey · Fri 29/11/2019 17:14:22

Quote from: Stupot on Fri 29/11/2019 00:10:09
Hi all. Last Sunday, my wife and I were gifted with an adorable baby boy.

Congratulations Stu! I remembered you mentioning several weeks back that your boy was due in November and was wondering if he'd already been born.

Our boy is just 3 days older than yours

And he has already taught me what Cassie said you should keep in mind. I got peed on three times before I finally learned my lesson

cat · Fri 29/11/2019 18:25:40

Congratulations, Stupot and Kastchey! Exciting times coming up...

My advice is: Decide on only a few rules that are important to you, be strict about them and turn a blind eye to the rest.

And as soon as your kids gets old enough to eat by themselves: buy a hand-held vacuum cleaner

Kastchey · Fri 29/11/2019 21:19:54

Thanks cat! Noted

Cassiebsg · Fri 29/11/2019 22:03:34

congrats Kastshey

Funny, I don't remember messy feeding times... I think he was just so focused on eating everything that he didn't want to waste it on the floor... or anywhere else that wasn't his mouth.

Mandle · Fri 29/11/2019 22:39:55

Oh, in case anyone thought I was a bit heartless in my above post with the snark and no "congratz", Stu and I already spoke on FB about this happy event a few days ago.

Stupot · Sat 30/11/2019 00:13:29

Congratulations Kastchey! We can swap notes.

Snarky · Sat 30/11/2019 07:50:10

Congrats to you both, and to your now-larger families, Stu and Kastchey!

Creamy · Sat 30/11/2019 07:55:27

Congrats new parents. Gently pats infants. That's why they don't turn bats.

Darth Mandarb · Sat 30/11/2019 13:31:24

When it's the middle of the night and sleep deprivation has driven you to the point of insanity because the darn kid just won't burp after the 10th nightly feeding, pause for a moment... take a deep breath... and realize that in the blink of an eye the kid will be five and you'll be wondering how it's even possible he's no longer that little ball of adorable goo!

Some, slightly more practical, advice;

Wear an athletic supporter/cup all the time (especially if you plan to have more kids) as your new adorable baby boy will be seemingly magnetically drawn to your tenders as if they have the gravitational pull of a black hole!

Secondary to the wedding tackle protection (and a close second it is) is the jaw/tongue. If, at any point, the child is standing under your chin area I can guarantee you he will suddenly feel compelled to stand up with the velocity and momentum of a freight train. Trust me on this (I have missing pieces of tongue to prove the point).

Humorous (but true) anecdotes aside; you have started out on the greatest adventure game there is!

My son is five and my daughter will be three next week and I can't fathom how they're that old already.

Treasure every moment.

Congrats!

cat · Sat 30/11/2019 18:36:21

Oh, and you new mantra should be

"It's only temporary"

Mumble these soothing words whenever you need it.

The baby has an aching tummy and doesn't stop crying? It's only temporary!
He is getting teeth and wakes up every hour? It's only temporary!

(Sadly, this also works the other way round - he slept all night without waking up? It's only temporary, the next night won't be that easy...)

Privateer Puddin' · Sat 30/11/2019 19:06:30

I think you're being too harsh on yourself calling yourself hacks.

Mandle · Sun 01/12/2019 14:54:35

Quote from: Privateer Puddin' on Sat 30/11/2019 19:06:30
I think you're being too harsh on yourself calling yourself hacks.

Blondbraid · Mon 02/12/2019 08:52:10

Congratulations!

A tip I got from an acquaintance having a baby was that you shouldn't bother too much with your regular sleep schedule, just sleep when the baby is sleeping.

Also, when the baby gets old enough to eat real food, my parents had a great rule, that it's ok if the kid don't want to eat the full meal, but they should always taste the food before turning it down.

Cassiebsg · Mon 02/12/2019 11:13:32

Quote
Also, when the baby gets old enough to eat real food, my parents had a great rule, that it's ok if the kid don't want to eat the full meal, but they should always taste the food before turning it down.

I can attest for this one. I've done that with my son, and he's not a picky eater and eats just about anything. And he knows that he as to taste it every single time, even if he tried yesterday and he didn't like it. Remember taste is acquired and learned. Most kids need to taste a new food for about 10 times before they actually like it. Also always give him the same you're eating. Don't make him special meals just for him. You want him to grow up and be able to eat what you eat... not just "burger and french fries".

Mouth for war · Tue 10/12/2019 13:29:09

If he accidentally sets the living room carpet on fire when he's 8, go eazy on him

congratulations!!! Wish you all the best!!!

Mandle · Tue 10/12/2019 16:06:01

Quote from: Mouth for war on Tue 10/12/2019 13:29:09
If he accidentally sets the living room carpet on fire when he's 8, go eazy on him congratulations!!! Wish you all the best!!!

It is almost like you have knowledge of the Future!!!

And now Back To The topic at hand...

Blondbraid · Tue 10/12/2019 23:28:39

Quote from: Cassiebsg on Mon 02/12/2019 11:13:32
Quote
Also, when the baby gets old enough to eat real food, my parents had a great rule, that it's ok if the kid don't want to eat the full meal, but they should always taste the food before turning it down.

I can attest for this one. I've done that with my son, and he's not a picky eater and eats just about anything. And he knows that he as to taste it every single time, even if he tried yesterday and he didn't like it. Remember taste is acquired and learned. Most kids need to taste a new food for about 10 times before they actually like it. Also always give him the same you're eating. Don't make him special meals just for him. You want him to grow up and be able to eat what you eat... not just "burger and french fries".

That's true, though I'd add the caveat that small kids, having much more sensitive tastebuds, don't like bitter foods in general. I can name dozens of things I didn't like as a kid that I've started to eat when I got older, so if they consistently dislike something specific I think it can be ok to wait a few years and see if they'll appreciate it more as their taste change.

Anyway, I've also heard a handy tip for making babies sleep, white noise can be numbing to the brain (just look at all the people falling asleep on long car rides) and for some people, starting a vaccum cleaner in a baby's room have made them go to sleep faster. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but the noise can't be worse than a crying baby at any rate.

Laura Hunt · Wed 11/12/2019 08:15:40

Quote from: Blondbraid on Tue 10/12/2019 23:28:39
Anyway, I've also heard a handy tip for making babies sleep, white noise can be numbing to the brain (just look at all the people falling asleep on long car rides) and for some people, starting a vaccum cleaner in a baby's room have made them go to sleep faster. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but the noise can't be worse than a crying baby at any rate.

Those are two very different principles though! White noise works because white noise cancels out other frequencies, and thus generates a quieter environment that makes it easier to sleep. The monotonous rumble of a car ride (which is not white noise), however, makes you sleep simply because of its monotony, the same reason that podcasts with very "flat" narrators help me take a nap: it's relaxing. The end result might be the same (baby sleep good), but the reasons why they both work are quite different. This is why playing white noise in a quiet room would probably not help you sleep (it only works when there are other sounds to cancel out), but playing a droning rumble such as a Lustmord album would

cat · Wed 11/12/2019 11:14:10

Quote from: Blondbraid on Tue 10/12/2019 23:28:39
That's true, though I'd add the caveat that small kids, having much more sensitive tastebuds, don't like bitter foods in general. I can name dozens of things I didn't like as a kid that I've started to eat when I got older, so if they consistently dislike something specific I think it can be ok to wait a few years and see if they'll appreciate it more as their taste change.

That's not necessarily true for all kids. My kid (2 years old) loves broccoli, old brie cheese, umeboshi, miso and natto (fermented soy beans, which most Europeans find disgusting). For her, texture matters much more than taste. She doesn't like anything that resembles leaves or lettuce.

milkanannan · Wed 11/12/2019 15:10:49

Quote from: Laura Hunt on Wed 11/12/2019 08:15:40
Quote from: Blondbraid on Tue 10/12/2019 23:28:39
Anyway, I've also heard a handy tip for making babies sleep, white noise can be numbing to the brain (just look at all the people falling asleep on long car rides) and for some people, starting a vaccum cleaner in a baby's room have made them go to sleep faster. I'm not saying it works for everyone, but the noise can't be worse than a crying baby at any rate.

Those are two very different principles though! White noise works because white noise cancels out other frequencies, and thus generates a quieter environment that makes it easier to sleep. The monotonous rumble of a car ride (which is not white noise), however, makes you sleep simply because of its monotony, the same reason that podcasts with very "flat" narrators help me take a nap: it's relaxing. The end result might be the same (baby sleep good), but the reasons why they both work are quite different. This is why playing white noise in a quiet room would probably not help you sleep (it only works when there are other sounds to cancel out), but playing a droning rumble such as a Lustmord album would

Where do you find these guys?

This is brilliant!

Laura Hunt · Wed 11/12/2019 16:18:09

Quote from: man n fist on Wed 11/12/2019 15:10:49

Where do you find these guys? This is brilliant!

I stared off with metal, went "no, I want something darker", moved to goth, still not dark enough, ended up here

Let's not derail the thread though

Snake · Sat 14/12/2019 21:54:26

Stu, just don't forget him on the top of your car, drop, step-on or mail/flush by accident and you'll be fine

Congrats, btw. Being a parent is fun. My daughter is 12. Unfortunately she looks like me, but she is quite the little comedian heh

I can't remember the context but the other day I said to one of the kids I work with, "Kids: you try SO HARD to turn them in to YOU, but it eventually just bites you in the ass!"