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Messages - Sporkmaster

#1
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Sat 01/03/2003 03:28:21
OBOE activates their mind controlling braces and send their legions of teenagers after Jerry. Fast food restaurants around the globe are suddenly understaffed. Meanwhile....
#2
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Wed 26/02/2003 02:53:00
After giving Jimi a long and painful braces tightening for not using "Jerry" in his post, the Orthodontists Bent on Overthrowing Earth (OBOE) swear revenge on Jerry. They install a set of self-destructing braces on Jerry while he sleeps. Meanwhile...
#3
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Mon 24/02/2003 23:14:40
Jerry listens in on a conversation and discovers that the all the orthodontists in the world are trying to rule the Earth by installing mind control devices in everybody's braces. That explains why a piece of wire could cost so much. Meanwhile...
#4
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Thu 20/02/2003 21:43:00
A moderator of the AGS forum, seeing how awesome this thread is, makes it sticky. Jerry's enemies angrily boycott AGS and use rival adventure game makers, but it doesn't affect profits because there are none! Meanwhile...
#5
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Thu 20/02/2003 00:29:58
Jerry, realizing he still has his dignity stealing powers from The Merry ole Garbage Men, folds a paper airplane and flies to France, where they have dignity coming out of their ears. He steals all their dignity, which makes him grow into a 1000 foot, superdignified monster. Meanwhile...
#6
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Sun 16/02/2003 22:42:35
In Jerry's fortress, Jeruy runs into Ed the Dragon. Just when he's about to eat her, Jeruy asks Ed if he gets paid enough, and, realizing that he doesn't get paid at all, Ed goes on strike. Meanwhile...
#7
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Sun 16/02/2003 17:02:11
Jeruy goes to Jerry's Impenetrable Fortress and deactivates the forcefield with an ordinary toaster oven. The dogs with bees in their mouths come to attack, but Jeruy's got honey roasted barbecue chicken! Meanwhile...
#8
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Fri 14/02/2003 21:14:35
The audience is not amused by Jerry Springer's "new look" and throws beer cans and dead skunks at our hero's head. At the water treatment plant, Cupid, possibly driven mad by diaper rash, dumps 100 gallons of Love Potion #9 in the water supply. Meanwhile...
#9
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Thu 13/02/2003 21:42:22
The Church of the Destruction of Jerry, after receiving word of Jeray's demise, raise the Lemon Demon from the depths of the underworld by singing Trapezoid's song. The Lemon Demon then sets up a lemonade stand next to Jerry's impenetrable fortress. Meanwhile...
#10
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Thu 13/02/2003 02:55:32
As a side effect of the resurrection spell from the Church of the Destruction of Jerry, Jeray turns into cheddar cheese at the second Wednesday of each month. The hungry hungry sex crazed rats come running, and can't decide whether to eat her or hump her leg. Meanwhile...
#11
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Thu 13/02/2003 01:50:29
Jerry, realizing there are so many people after him, builds a huge fortress with six foot thick walls and an invincible force field, and guarded by dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees (borrowed from the Simpsons). With a false sense of security, he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth,  and, noticing his toothbrush strangling him, looks at the brand: Jerryizer 3000! Meanwhile...
#12
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Tue 11/02/2003 23:56:57
Jeray accidentally puts the Jerry poison in Jerry Springer's meatloaf sandwich, who eats it and dies. Many a redneck is in mourning, as their marital problems will remain unsolved. Meanwhile...
#13
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Tue 11/02/2003 03:06:03
Jerry quickly reads Hacking for Drooling Morons and becomes a world-class hacker. He then hacks into Jeray's cannon's targeting system, and aims it straight up in the air, and when she fires, the 60 megaton payload of dirty diapers falls back on her head. Meanwhile...
#14
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Sun 09/02/2003 15:22:47
Little does Jeray know that her UFO's only weakness is watermelon seeds. Jerry puts some in his mouth and spits them at Jeray, knocking her out of the sky. Just then, the Mad Tickler, who escaped after all the prisons evaporated, tickles Jeray to the point of hiccups. With his sister incapacitated, Jerry makes his daring (if clumsy) escape! Meanwhile...
#15
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Sat 08/02/2003 16:59:37
The Holy Remote Control Unit finally falls in the wrong hands: a saber-toothed monkey! He can't read, of course, so he pushes a random button. Suddenly, blue and green polka dots appear on the sky. Delighted, the monkey presses another button. All the jails in America crumble to dust, leaving Jerry free and America overrun with criminals. Meanwhile...
#16
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Sat 08/02/2003 01:31:46
The brilliant dentists of Oral-B invent the first artifically intelligent toothbrush, The Jerryizer 3000. Jerryizer, tired of sticking his head into smelly mouths, escapes the laboratory, then runs for President of the United States, with a dental floss dispenser as his running mate. Thanks to his incredible charisma and tax cuts on toothpaste, he wins by a landslide, making him the second appliance to win the presidency, after Ronald Regan. Jerryizer's first act as president is to declare war on Iplaque.

Meanwhile...
#17
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Tue 04/02/2003 21:01:52
Jerry's first mission was to find the Holy Remote Control Unit before it falls in the wrong hands. It was located in the steaming jungles of Canada. The journey is littered with sidequests! Meanwhile...
#18
General Discussion / Re:New story of fun!
Mon 03/02/2003 23:40:26
Jerry's ship, the U.S.S. Armpit, is attacked by a band of albino pirates. They climb aboard and steal all their sunscreen. Jerry covers himself with flour as a disguise and sneaks aboard the pirate ship. Meanwhile...
#19
AGS Games in Production / Re:The Find Demo
Thu 16/01/2003 01:06:11
Looks awesome! Only problem, it downloads slower than a snail...in molasses...in January...with a 60 ton weight. And I have cable internet, so it can't be my fault.
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