Messages

Wheeeee! Thank you!

I will make you an ftp username and password if you wants?

and I can make a subdomain to if you want me to.

it would be "whateveryoulike.borgarholt.info"



Peder.

yo that'd be gr8!
username: akatosh
pw: (well, think of one, then tell me

whateveryoulike = koffeekrisis

Yes, yes. A dime for every time I hear that joke... and I'd not be developing silly games*




*= instead, I'd have a 16 mbit DSL and gamZ0r. 56K really s-u-c-k-s

Partly, yes 
I'm using the grue, the MagiMechTechMicroMechaMech, the mattock and this strange penguin. I'll add "Jick" to the credits   

And Peder - that'd be cooool.

[Chapter I]

Recent updates:
What I have been doing since the last demo (and will therefore be available in the finished version / next demo):

- Added a 7-days-a-skeptic-like status line (@overhotspot@ following the cursor, that is)
- Added cutscene
- Redid Artemis' office
- Redid the room with the vending machine
- Decided *not* to use the awful translation again
- Introduced leaving the mine! Wheeee!
- Asked for help with the music...
- ...and ripped another sound off Q3: A!
- ...drank 10 cups of coffee (so I'll make it)...
- Started working 3-5 hours a day
- Made up two nice wallpapers (downloadable at: and)
- Added an animation to the Tfosorcim-corridor
- Added idle animation

--> Chapter III is COMPLETE!! Chapter IVÃ,  IS COMPELTE! <--

Tee hee... akatosh... tired.


Planned date of release:
DONE!:
http://www.rogepost.com/dn/9lz5/KoffeeKrisis+Episode+I+1.0.zip

First demo release:
http://koffeekrisis.johnsendesign.info/KKIdemo.zip

Thanks again to Peder Johnson, who made this possible!

*** SOME-TIME-AFTER-LAST-MINUTE DEMO NOTES ***

I was just testing something in the demo... and came to notice some really bad bugs:

1) When walking off the right screen edge in the Tfosorcim Building Corridor, you are taken to a room which isn't implented yet. Sorry. To get everything working again, exit to menu and return to the game. Should work.

2) You can't leave the Toffee Mine. Well, there isn't any content afterwards but a "THX FOR PLAYING" screen, but it also tells the 'SneakPeek.zip' password . For it's about impossible to guess it...

*SPOILER FOLLOWING*
k0ff33kr151515ju57gr8!
(yup, really k0ff33kr151515ju57gr8! - just as I spelled it. With ! at the end. Really.)
*SPOILER ENDS*


Also, the game still contains some (quite much actually) 'concept art'. Some things will look different in the full version, and one or two not-as-important objects are missing. And as the room with the cultists isn't really visitable (cutscene follows immediatly, you can't enter it without the Guaraná), some jokes are missing.

I'm really sorry about it, but I can't upload the game again. It really was a torture just mailing it to Peder... but hey, it's a beta demo! What have you been excepting?

Features:

-> A world map! (hooray!)
-> Authentic german humor! (yes indeed, it does exist)
...-> along with this, incredibly bad jokes
-> A really strange world (about 40% visitible, 30% interactable)
-> Investigation (as in DiscNoir, if anybody knows it)
-> References, references, references... (e.g. Terry Pratchett, Dilbert, Wallace and Gromit, Artemis Fowl ['course], the Kingdom of Loathing)
-> Two player characters (Artemis, Herrrring [planned])
-> Movie atmosphere (letterboxing...)
-> SECRET HIDDEN BONUS stuff! (bonus doors... hooray for another reference )
-> in-game and funny "help" function

Background:

In general, you can say the story is all about Coffee and a villagewide caffeine (or however you write this) crisis, called "The Rimacite Incident". The crazy tea speculator Wally Greg Rimacite bought a strange machine from the Egypt mafia which is able to withdraw the caffeine from even the strongest espresso. He plans to replicate it about a thousand times [as its reach is quite short], place one in every bigger town worldwide, then activate it. As about 99,999 % of all computer programmers and webmasters today are caffeine addict, the www and computers in general all over the world would break down... if the people don't buy and drink his horrible black tea [he already bought all the supplies]. And who could possible stop him... but YOU? Well, apart from the CIA. And the FBI. And the NSA, BND, NASA, RTL, RGB, FIFA and your grandma. Okay, and the police. Oh, not to forget Mr. Bond. And Ethan Hunt. And of course 007 to 999 (006 to 000 really suck). Not to forget Wallace and Gromit. Then Lara Croft and Indiana Jones. And SpongeBob Squarepants, actually.
But, as they are all (well, all but Spongebob) already occupied in some save-the-world-quests, I guess Artemis and his partisan friends and allies will have to "skin the cat".

More detailled outline of the story, as YOU will see it

Chapter I
At the beginning, you hardly know anything of this all. The game is divided in Chapters. In Chapter I (100% complete, yay!), you are just trying to figure out what has happend to your pal Ron. After another pal of you, called Herrrring (yes, four times are), runs away in panic after examining Ron, you decide to follow / find him. Just leaving the safety of the "majestic" Tfosorcim Building, you stumble upon another unconscious colleague (god, i hate those two words), called Scrooge McFeathers.
Chapter II
Thinking of the situation, and probably with the aid and advice of the AD OF DOOOOOOOM ("help" function), you draw the conclusion those incidents could probably have to do with the coffee they have been drinking. Forgetting Herrrring for the moment, you decide to head to the nearby village of Kladen, seeking proofs for your theory.

The already finished part keeps goin' on, but a) i don't want to take all the tension and b) i'm tired of writing
Anyway, the first Windows (if you don't count tfosorciM and Mr. Setag) and reality references will come up soon. Also will the first allies, and one of those sadistic press-button-c-before-button-b-but-not-if-pressed-button-a-after-c-best-is-pressing-b-before-a puzzles - done! Press five buttons in the right order! The second problem is: You don't know which button is which... (easy, but hard to get the right idea)

Ready:

EVERYTHING!

I'm needing help about:

Music and sound effects. Please! I really, really, really, REALLY suck at those. And a "Pretty much everything by" doesn't quite count as "Credits", eh?

Screenshots: (look different in-game, due to .gif quality loss)

Inside the library.png:


Cultist casting.png (drawn by Franziska Beyer):


Outside the new Tfosorcim Building.png

Exception 0x00000000 at EIP=0x00000000,
AGSEDIT v2.71.631, SIP=26

tried to dump everything (checked all those checkboxes) into a dumpD.txt file
it worked after i changed the name to koffeekrisis.txt (game name)
then i dried to dump it to dumpD.txt again and it kept on crashing.