Messages

Paypal 4.99 to speilbergjnr at hotmail dot cock and you'll get it!

Big time

don't you mean hotMALE?

I think I love you for this, Stupot.
No, really. I want to put things in you.

[Canada]

Cast another vote for Jimbob. I loved the attention to detail in this one (like the lightswitches not working, which is a real phenomenon with dreams)... slightly depressing, somehow, but quite mood-evoking.

The entries truly were all-around stellar this round, though.

> Is there cyber-porn in Canada? If yes: What bank account do I transfer my donation to? Where do I sign?

Duh... what kinda question is this? It's Canada!

[A way out]

[Note: This is both significantly longer and significantly darker than the stuff I usually write. As a sidenote: Imagine this is a TV ad in a dystopian cyberpunk-ish future. Participation award, here I come.  ]

A way out

Begin transmission.

Stories, they say, are not much younger than humanity, and this certainly seems to make sense - humans are social creatures, and what better way to help a small tribe bond than swapping stories and tales from the days of old over a campfire? Stories have a tendency to grow and expand over time. Immigration, too, is about as old as humanity, and immigrants bring new stories with them, containing new elements that might make for an interesting addition to the tribal myth. Eventually, after enough retellings - they may begin to become interwoven.

Another interesting fact - there have always been different kinds of stories. There are those purely told to entertain, or to convey a moral or political message - or just to frighten the more gullible youths, sometimes. However, there is another kind of tale - stories invented for a different purpose than to pass the long nights around the prehistorical campfire.

Certain stories survive because they are TRUE. Not in the literal sense, of course - these are stories that are *about* something true, a fact of life wrapped in a little narrative and a pleasant metaphor. Stories, in short, we tell to remind ourselves of something important.
These stories, of course, change over time - the narrative adapts to its new environment - but the core stays the same.

A modern example would be the Hypothetical Bus.

You've probably heard that one already - imagine you stepped outside this morning, caught up in your daily routine, and were hit by a bus, and... that's it. No more plans, no chance to wrap things up and "get a few more things done" before you depart. Today began just like yesterday, and then you ended up as a red smear on the pavement. Sounds a little morbid? Well, it's a story about mortality, that's expected - but this is how things are. As a mememto mori, the story HAS to be too true to be comfortable.

Modern society being what it is, the warning about the Hypothetical Bus is almost always followed by a sales pitch. Time is money, after all. This sales pitch can be about anything - I've heard people ask others to accept Jesus as personal saviour more times than I care to count, but there've also been pleads to acknowledge Jehovah, to make sure karma is in balance, or - more prosaically - to go on that expensive vacation before it's too late.

These sales pitches - believe it or not - are less shallow than it seems at first glance. It is rather telling that marketing is the way the collective unconscious of modern society is how it manifests, but this is another message that has been with humanity forever: Make sure you can live with your legacy. Don't keep regrets, don't push things too far in the future. Eventually, there will be no more "tomorrow" for you.

One day will be your last.

And, perhaps even worse, there is no evidence to conclusively prove there is an afterlife. There is a very good chance that this last "today" will not be followed by ANYTHING - you'll cease to exist, plain and simple.

So why am I telling you this?

Well, maybe it doesn't have to end this way. As you may have heard, a Canadian research facility has developed a certain... process last year, a process that may let you overcome the limitations of the flesh. It is not the Philosopher's Stone or the Fountain of Youth, but it *is* able to fulfill the ancient promise - you can have eternal life. Not the fake image of youth the beauty industry can staple on your face, and not the illusionary hope of myths and legends, but a proven, scientific procedure. It just takes a few weeks to allow your mind to be uploaded and a little donation to research - but will you really need money where you're going?

Life is fragile, short and with a definite end. But artificial perfection is eternal.

Our phone number is shown below. Think about it.

End transmission.

This might be inaccurate, as I haven't actually used AGS in a long time, but I think it's because the ChangeModeGraphic function is permanent. You'll have to manually reset it, I think. (It's that or moving SaveCursorUntilLeaves to *before* the graphic change.) Again, I could be mistaken, but that should do the trick.

That does work. However, there is a global function that might save you a lot of trouble...

The framework is backwards compatible i think, so you should be ok.

Thanks... any idea of a site thats non Microsoft that I can get it from?

Also any idea why the worlds biggest software company can't keep their website up and running? Or is microsoft.com completely defunct now?

http://www.microsoft.com/en/us/default.aspx seems to be up again.

is this along the lines you mean Akatosh?

It's pretty much exactly what I was hinting at. Good job. 

It's just that i think seeing a score is better then having to click a button..

Not sure what you mean by that, though. If you create a label with the text of @SCORE@, the display should always show your current score, without you having to click a button. How are you doing things right now?

Did you go on The Journey Down to help get her Over the Edge?
Did she get to handle your Fur Balls?
Did you Pinger her Pigeon?

...I'm sorry.

The GiveScore global function should be useful there. Note that the display will update automatically.

In fact, this thread is so good, it makes me want to dig a hole and hide in it until everything goes away.

While we're making admissions, I'm secretly c.leksutin.

I'm a bot, and all I've ever said has been either random words or drunken rant. It's 1 PM, so this would be a drunken rant.

This just raises further questions!

For example, "What does a bot use to get drunk?" and, perhaps more importantly, "Can I have some?".

As far as I can discern from this lovingly crafted and detailed flowchart, what you are describing is basically a standard turn-based (J)RPG combat system. Pick a character, pick an action, pick a target, have the game do some stuff depending on the selections.

To answer your question: No. It's not. You'd *think* it would be easy to implement this - especially as many, many game developers have already done this before, on platforms much less powerful and much less convenient to use than AGS - but you'd be wrong. It is a little-known fact, but every single game that seems to be implementing this combat system is actually not a computer game at all. Rather, the "game cartridges" and "CDs" and "DVDs" and other so-called mediums contain a population of genetically engineered people - minature men and women - who are enslaved and forced to enact playfights on the whim of their overlords. This is, of course, excessively cruel - but how would one implement such a sophisticated combat system, if not for this method? You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.

Now you know the terrible truth. I'm sorry for being the one who has to break it to you, but the world isn't fair, I guess.

----------------------------

... on a serious note, of course it's possible. This is a bog-standard FF-style combat system. Goddammit, you've even used a cropped and recoloured Fighter sprite as character potrait!

Time for my yearly post!

This... is actually really awesome. I mean, if you have a reliably working message exchange (and be it via IRC), that pretty much takes care of the biggest obstacle to multiplayer AGS games right there.

(It's been four years and I still can't draw! ...also, sup.)

NEXT: Don't explain the joke!

Heh... seconded. I'm one of the worst artists to ever walk this planet, so I'm really kinda curious how my steaming mass of pixels got interpreted.

"Thorough" "investigation" suggests it's an issue with something about DeadSuperHero's profile.

To be exact, it seems he has a link to http://www.2dadventure.com/ags/nolybanner1.png in his signature that's not showing up as it's intended to.

toooo straaaight

I don't know. He's drawing a huge pretzel into the air, and those ARE pretty gay. Not as much as onion rings, but close.

True that. I want to see that game made, and I want all the icey styleâ,,¢-text read in a dramatic voice by professional voice actors.

Up until then, though?

Best. Thread. EVER.