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Which do you mean exactly, "left and right"? Can you draw exactly what you refer to, along with an example of how you think it should look?

Again, I don't think the castle is drawn in a very functional perspective (I think it's quite horrible, frankly), but I still believe the 90 degree rule you speak of is some sort of misunderstanding.

Locking threads doesn't get me off, it's just a chore.

Khrismuc, I think you're mixing up things here; the angle you point at is almost 170 degrees, which is much more than 90. The rule you refer to applies when corners are too far out in the perspective system, and take extreme shapes. A thumbrule is to never draw angles outside a circle that touches both perspective points. This is not the case here.

However, I too think that the perspective has gone hay wire. I don't think it does what it's intended to do; convey a majestic, overwhelming impression - I think the perspective makes the whole castle look extremely askew, or falling back.

[Tea]

It's quite good, in my opinion. It has a sad, dreamy atmosphere and some nice phrasings.
There are a few issues you migth need to address. First of all, its verse meter is inconsistent. Now, most poets nowadays don't bother with meter, but then they avoid one althogether. Your poem has a very tangible rythm in some places, but it's overall inconsistent. There is a strong presence of dactyllic tetrameter, like in the opening lines:

Tea-lights go floa-ting on in-di-go sea
(I) stare in the eyes of re-flec-tions of me

and in most other lines too, but it deviates from this rythm in too many places to offer an easy reading. Every time the reader must change their way of reading the poem, its fluency will suffer.

Also, some of the rhymes feel slightly forced, so to speak. Are you sure you need all the lines to rhyme in the same way? I understand the effect of having "me" recurring throughout the poem, but you could have at least half of the lines rhyme with something else. Otherwise, the efforts of producing innovative rhymes might seem almost comical.

Again, many of the wordings are nice, and the imagery is beautiful, but you need to uniform the meter (or drop it althogether, and write in complete free verse) and reconsider your rhymes.

Good luck!

Shure its about finding out in a teenage period but that only leads to that people have too much free time. Sobing about some deep emotional state is just a nitpick, an excuse. If you have something important to do, you forget about your deeper state and discover that you are absolutely ok. You ever go to the movioes? You know sometimes the film may be so interesting that you forget you have to cough since you are ill. Nature is based on physical acts and physical acts construct the emotional state, so, some hobbies or a work doesn't do any bad.

You simplify what it is to be human. Not only emos have inner conflicts and depressions.

Also, if teenagers feel they need to write suicidal notes - whether it's sincere or "just an act" as you so know-it-allingly describes it, it tells something about society, and should make people and especially parents to ask questions about the world we live in, rather then tell off their kids or force them to go to the cinema.

I don't mean to be rude, but what part of this picture did you look at when you decided to label it "mildly sierra-esque"?

I'm sorry to say that I don't think your background works, in any way. It's too complicated and jumbly to achieve any sort of simplistic functionality.
Basically I think you've started in the wrong end here, by throwing in textures and smearing and complicated shading, instead of building up a basic line-art structure. I suggest you start from the beginning, take a photo reference or other and draw out all the shapes and objects you want in your picture, easy and simple.

Also, people from the romantic movement, even it's more darker and gloomier side(Poe, Baudelaire etc.) never cut themselves.

Aha? You examined their bodies?
I believe a certain type of people have always tried to hurt themselves, to overshadow their inner, spiritual pain. Maybe not always with dad's razor in front of their bathroom mirror, but in various ways. I think people lately (=this generation) have brought it to new levels because it's been acknowledged by society.
I've heard really really old people, at least women, talk about how they used to cut themselves back in the 30's even, although nobody back then would imagine that selfmutilation was a common practice.

I decided against it... bah... you men are so confusing... you all fancy the blonde girls and cheat on us to be with them, then you try to convince us not to dye our hair so we can stand a chance at a relationship... I hate you all...

What? Who? When?

why did this get moved to general discussion? this isn't meant to be a discussion! i was just asking for help in preparing my class...

The critics lounge is for getting c&c on creative material you publish. You haven't published any creative material, you have listed a few questions that you need help with for a school assignment.

You should know how to use the forums by now.

Instead of spamming the lounge with new threads, I thought I'd squeeze this one in here.

New version of Morning Breaks. Some of you might have heard it before, in other versions.
Note that this is much less experimental than the previous piece in this thread, so expect something much more plain and ordinary, not to say cheesy.
The instrumental bridge is still unfinished - I lack some sort of solo there - so suggestions would be appreciated.

What about nature? Romanticism is very closely linked to the addressing of the sublime nature.

AGS - Let others relive your adventures

Considering that all their titles cost money, I'd be surprised if they could drag you very far into their cult, especially if you don't appear to be filthy rich.

Everyone should be careful not to bring attention from sects and religious extremists, but if you have just a modicum of common sense and integrity, you'll be fine. On the other hand, people who are lonely, lost and desperate should be ware.
I have a friend who used to see 'agents' from Jehova's witnesses just because he was curious, basically. We warned him about getting involved with such creepiness, but he was pretty cool about it. They visited him regularly for a year or so, and they'd sometimes bring young attractive females to sway him. In the end, they were the ones who got tired listening to all his weird ideas and philosophical theses and they let him alone.

Thanks again, people. The possitive feedback surprises me

Oz, yeah well that's a problem I always have; I don't plan my songs very well, I just start recording and verses tend to pile up rather repeatedly. I think it's because I'm more of a singer/songwriter kind of person (and not very much of that either, truthfully) than a studio guy or big band composer, and I lack imagination when it comes to orchestral arrangements.
But I really should try to include some sort of variation, maybe a bridge, maybe a guitar solo or something.

Greg, thanks for your support. Feel free to explain both layers and breathing techniques further!

Evil, that was pretty interesting, and I see your point. I like your experimental take on this! I do indeed agree that my voice is a weak link. God knows how many times I've considered engaging a good singer for my creations, but then my music has never been my prime occupation and such projects have always died.
It was interesting to hear your version with more subtle chord - what's it called in English? Nuances? (7's and 9's and sus etc). It was a brand new song, but it was nice

This is a really nice melody! The style reminds me very much of "Village Green" by the kinks, what is one of the greatest compliments I could pay a song.

Dude, that compliment gave me goosebumps I love that album more than words can describe!

The abundance of syllables is very intentional, as I thought it could be a neat effect. I guess I won't change it at this stage, but I get the point.

About the drums; well as people have suggested they are digital keyboard drums, so for me to get something even vaguely acceptable is a huge feat. I could add a cymbal or something more "crashing" I guess.

Thanks a lot for all your advice!
Slightly new version. Re-recorded vocals, and re-mixed the whole thing again.

http://www.andail.com/throne4.ogg

Nacho, yeah try to obtain Winamp. We're all happier if we can avoid mp3

To celebrate that my thesis is done, I recorded a song yesterday.

As per usual, I have no freaking clue what I'm doing when it comes to mixing, or when it comes to what style I want to achieve. So in case you don't mind what style of music you listen to, this might suit you.

Upon his Throne

Lyrics, arrangement and vocals all done by me.

I give SimB my votes because I think it's a very atmospheric piece.

All in all, I hope that he or Zyndikate wins, as I don't really see my work as a very good background. So, thanks for your votes (the ones I got) but I probably don't really deserve them

Scientology is basically a hybrid between a self-help philosophy and an exclusive club.

Self-help techniques with spiritual guidance and methods and expensive classes and books pop up on a regular basis, especially in the USA. It seems a brand new revolutionizing set of self-help ideas are being marketed every tenth year or so in the states. It sells like butter. People always talk about those ideas as if they've seen the light. Typically, they claim to:

* Open your senses, and make you more intuitive/spiritually balanced/sensitive/etc
* Optimize your capacities. These techniques can make you use all of your brain! Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? Well, it's not true but it sounds good.
* It will make you more successful in business, and improve your chances to get rich. This is very important. If people aren't promised riches, all the spiritual harmony in the world won't sell any books.

If you want weird cult, there is is this tiny little cult (200+) of guys that worship the phallus
you heard me, the dick the shlong the one-eyed monster...the penis.

Don't look so shocked. Probably a majority of all the cults in history have worshiped phallus. Symbols, monuments, obelisks, drawings...you'll find phalluses everywhere.