Messages

Awesome!

I like the idea of a family-friendly game, but to be honest to Miguel it really is testicles that are at the root of the plot.

There is no way that I have time to manage this project, but maybe I could chair a sub-committee or be on the board or something.  I can also offer an animation and a writing contribution.  I also moonlight as the agent for this aspiring child-actress who is keen on voice acting bit parts.

Good luck!

Excellent reasoning, my friend!  Where's that hats-off emoticon Ponch promised me....?

[The Dragon invades Massachusetts, Rhode Island and the US Minor Outlying Islands (11)]

The Dragon invades Massachusetts, Rhode Island and the US Minor Outlying Islands (11)

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Adventure related

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[FIRST]

Allow me to be the... hehe... FIRST to stake a claim to this fertile topic.

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Düberpony!

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[@kconan]

Aaaaaaaand that's the end of voting folks!  Thanks to everyone who read through the stories and cast their votes.  I want to thank the voters in particular for not putting me on the spot for breaking a tie.   I enjoyed all of the submissions, and look forward to future contributions from each and every one of you.   A bit of personal feedback:

@kconan: Hilarious!  I thought the ending could have been stronger, but the absurd/literal word-play (20 lashes.... of the tongue, etc.) was down right genius.  I felt the wheels fell off a bit at the very end, though....  I guess I was expecting a more spectacularly lame climax.

@WHAM: I think creamy hit the nail on the head with the adjective "cinematographic".  Your wonderfully descriptive prose is like a freaky supernatural 80s film in my head.   I loved the language, but like a couple other voters I wasn't quite sure exactly what Hitler was trying to achieve.  Or was it all just a fanciful prance though the madness of a sick man's brain?  Now I'm going to wonder....

@Sinitrena: I couldn't stop thinking of a Monty Python skit à  la Quest For the Holy Grail the whole time I was reading your story: silly, but fun!  Like the Holy Grail, it just kind of finishes absurdly, which really suits the genre perfectly.  I think a little more rounding out of the Lord character would have benefited the story: what's his motivation?

@Myinah: I thought Mr. Reinhardt's folksy straight-man was the perfect foil for the insidiously maniacal Kim Jong Un, and the whole concept of being the actual dictator of a greasy fast-food franchise was brilliant.  I agree with the consensus that yours was the strongest piece, but I would have liked to have seen more explicit commentary on the insanity of North Korea (Rivalry with western franchises across the street, kidnapping for labour/skills, missile tests, high-profile purges, the possibilities are endless!).

@Monkey424: Loved the lyrical poetry, and many of your verses are quite clever.   I thought the reality check at the end was a bit of a let-down, though: you should have went postal and gone out in a blaze of glory!   (Er.... that's not life advice, just writing advice. )

@Adeel: I appreciate what you were trying to do with your piece, even if you ran out of time.  I especially like the implication that we AGSers who barely know what we're doing count as kings in your books.   Yes, truly we are kings among men.   Next time maybe start a bit earlier?  Just remember, the best way to improve is to keep writing!

All right, enough of my nitpickery: to the Results-Mobile!

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na.....

What, can't a contest organizer be an incompetent king too?

No?

That's cool.

I guess.

OK, so everybody knows that by a country mile of 22 votes Myinah swept the field and won the derby!  To her I present this golden jester's crown of excellence, and the honour of setting our next theme:


Running up behind Myinah, way back there but still holding off the pack at 11 votes, is WHAM.  To him I present this silver jester's crown of secondariness.  Wear it proudly:


And finally, only ever slightly behind WHAM with 10 votes, is Sinitrena in third place.  To her I present this bronze jester's crown of tertiarity, which apparently isn't a word even in English, but by gar I think it ought to be for occasions such as this!


And that's it, folks!  Don't forget to stop by our gift-shop on the way out: we have quite the variety of knick-knacks and souvenirs to commemorate this once-in-a-lifetime event.  And don't forget to join us next time for Myinah's exciting theme in the next riveting instalment of....

...The Fortnightly Writing Competition!

Ha ha!  What?

[Realty on Norm]

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Well "atmosphere" backwards is probably air -> rai.  The longest syllable in English is apparently "screeched", but as that's nine letters it hardly helps us....   "Behind the eyes" could mean a bunch of i's, or something behind the eyes like a "sinus" or a "brain" (both of which unhelpfully have five letters....).  So....  I'm going to guess Realty on Norm, just because the prefix for atmosphere is "aer" and this kid called Norm used to really get up my nose.

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I didn't like the unbelievable "tower bridge": the masonry would have clearly fallen apart when no longer under compression.   And the demise of Smaug was pretty bad, especially the you-could-see-it-from-a-mile-away demise of the Master.  And what ever happened to his lickspittle (Alfrid)?  And where was the wrap up of what happened to the Dwarvish kingdom of Erebor (Didn't Dain succeed Thorin?)?  How can Saruman et al. magically appear when needed, but Gandalf has to hoof it around Middle Earth?  Why didn't Sauron's armies use sandworms from Arrakis (or whatever they were called) to attack Minas Tirith directly in LOtR, instead of committing the strategic blunder of being held up at Osgiliath by Faramir (thus allowing his opponent's armies to converge)?  Pretty weak, story wise, in my opinion, and the over-the-top battle scenes were too fancy-pants to be at all believable.

On a plus note: BATTLE PIG!!   So I guess it all roughly balances out.

[Buffoon of Baboso]

Thank you one and all for your submissions!  I'm always appreciative when people take time out of their busy days to compose a story just for me.

Our submissions, in case you've forgotten, in order of entry are:

Buffoon of Baboso by kconan
The Führer by WHAM
The Lord of the Castle by Sinitrena
The Supreme Leader of the People's Taco Bell Franchise by Myinah
My Boss is a Wanker by Monkey424
Notable Excerpts from the diary of an incompetent AGSer by Adeel S. Ahmed

The voting criteria, as introduced in the original post and cut & pasted here for your convenience are:

Best Non-King Character: most believable or captivating or magnetic or unique: could be main character or supporting role
Best King: The King that displays the least aptitude for dealing with their responsibilities (or at least best-king character)
Best Atmosphere: Which story evoked the strongest feelings due to excitement/humour/intrigue/wonder/emotional intensity?
Best Ending: Replacing "best plot" this time around, but mostly dependent on it: which story was constructed so well as to have the best punch at the end?
Best Background World: The best setting or milieu for a story: a place brought to life.
Best Writing Style: The technical art of combining words in clever or gripping ways.
Most Substantive: Which story provides the greatest insight into the foibles of power?  Can be philosophical or humorous.

Lots of categories to choose from, so don't be shy with your votes.   Due to the number of submissions you can vote up to three times per category, but only if you think the authors are equally deserving.  Voting deadline is Wednesday January 14 at 9pm EST (forum time -6h, I believe).  I shall refrain from voting (but not commenting) unless there is a tie, in which case I will cast the deciding votes.  Good luck to all participants, and happy reading everybody!

That's some heavy stuff, QK.  I have not lost a brother, nor misplaced him for very long, but I wanted to share both my condolences and sense of justice in not only that the perpetrators have been caught, but in that you are standing by your brother despite whatever "stuff" he was involved in.  I am certain that my own brother has sold weed and suspect he's probably sold much worse, but despite his failings I confess that I only see the good aspects of his character.  Unless I'm in the same room with him, that smug-assed SOB....  But I have come to realise that I have a very tribal mentality, and would stand up for my own before I stood up for the more abstract societal concepts of right and wrong.  He's my brother, and I love him, so from that angle I can at least slightly grasp the anguish you must be feeling.

Stick around with us, QK.  We're good people here and won't betray anyone's trust.  Stay strong.

Correct, as usual.   But I'll get you crazy kids next time!

I liked the heat-sensitive urinal wall: that's classy.  The first thing I'd try is to spell my name, but since I have such a long name you probably don't want to be the guy standing to my right....

I also like that the Weird Foreign Toilet thread has been resurrected.  Toilet Power!

What has it got in its pocketses? (7, 4, 5, 9, 16)

(Just kidding)

Panhellenic meeting in an expert tube for imbalanced speck (5, 2, 10)

Alright, we're extended to Saturday evening EST now!  Keep those stories coming in.

That's funny....  Your dog just told me that he ate it.    But so be it.  Let's extend another 48 hours from now, which brings us to approximately 8pm EST Thursday January 8, 2015.  Who knows, maybe we'll tempt someone else to make a last minute submission?  Someone mysterious, with feathery adjectives but verbs of steel.  Time will tell....

Hey folks,
     Due to the vagaries of my schedule, the deadline is officially extended until 9pm EST January 6th, or roughly 45 hours and twelve minutes from the time of this post.   Let's see some more submissions!

[It is as...]

It is as...

I was going to make another joke guess and say "as", since it is as, but I've thought of something that is definitely more confusing and possibly AGS related:

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AI

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[It is as confusing as this one (2)]

It is as confusing as this one (2)

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F1

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If that's not the answer, consider it a cry for help.

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Ah....  I guess I had the demo game by mistake.  Thanks!