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Hee hee!  That pancake is going to get its ass smacked back into its constituent ingredients!  Nice one. 

@Baron: The mythology of the Wolf is more exciting than the reality.

Never!  You are the improbable love child of Mary Poppins, James Bond, and that old guy who prefers to drink Dos Equis!  The hyper-accelerated reality of your mythology just sadly proved too mind-blowing for the poor journalist who wrote you up.  But maybe if you tone it down a bit, more of the good stuff will show through in the subsequent interviews.

In jail, after being arrested for gross-incompetence and dereliction of duty.

The ninja swallowed hard, and then sprang into action.

You didn't feed your interviewer some of your homebrewed gingerbeer, did you?

I too demand GORE!!!1!!

I think Ponch told me once that .ogg format messed up sometimes when the file size aligned with perfect increments of storage size, like exact multiples of 24Kb or something.  Try adding a fraction of dead air to the end of an offending track (or winnowing off a fraction) and see if it still messes up.

Or metally irony....

The Ratings Panel will make you pull the plug on your game! 

+1 for reviewer pseudonyms.  I mean, everyone else who comments has to leave a name, so it's only fair.

Awesome!  I love acrylics.  There seems to be something wrong with the way his collar bone juts out... but I can't tell what since I immediately lose myself in the sitter's eyes. 

To win an internet argument I'm going to use an analogy of an internet truism, complete with improper spelling and gratuitous verbing: if haters gonna hate, then dummies gonna dumb ( ).  The "proper" language you (and I) cherish is really just the bastardized vernacular of our linguistic forebears.  Why don't we use all those beautifully convoluted noun declensions from olde English?  What ever happened to gender in nouns?  Why don't we pronounce the "w" in "two" or the "gh" in "light"?  In short, because our linguistic forebears were lazy, dim and ignorant.  And the usage of modern English on the internet suggests that this process of language evolution is alive and well!   The only rational response to this is to smugly recognize word "misuses" (or, from a broader perspective, "emergent linguistic norms" ), try our best to decipher the meaning behind them, and adapt our understanding of what English is accordingly; trying to correct the herd is about as futile as trying to command the tide.   

I've got some ideas, but I want a bit of clarification.  Since this is going to be a middle chapter and doesn't necessarily have to have a "plot" as such (maybe no rising action or resolution), is "plot" still going to be a voting category?  Would I be shooting myself in the foot by writing something so edgy and disjointed that it could be essentially described as plotless?

I am submused by your Académie-esque lingo-pedantry.  English doesn't obey your rules, Man!  It does what it wants.

Here's the Big List of graphics programs.

As for a recommendation, I myself use Graphics Gale for pixel animations these days and am pretty happy with it, but I learned on MSPaint (importing static pictures into AGS to see what they would look like animated).  But I'm big on the cheap/free toolware.  If you've got a budget, you could certainly get a pretty sweet animation program.

Now the manic slapstick of the early 20th century, that's funny!    They just don't put the energy into comedy that they used to....

Hmm, 'Some like it hot (1959)', 'The Seven year Itch (1955)','The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)','The Man in the White Suit (1951)','Hobson's Choice (1954)' and 'The Quiet Man (1952)'. I could go on, even films from the 30s can still be funny 'Duck Soup (1933)' for example. Don't want to start a war, just a difference of opinion.

I've just spent an hour looking up clips of these movies on You Tube, and I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree.  For me these movies, or at least what I could find of them, were about as funny as the two week old celery in my fridge.   I always assumed that people of that era just found different things funny, but maybe it's just me who's out of touch.... 

maybe Fort Apocalypse?.. sounds weird enough .

SUCCESS!  Man, was it really THAT obscure?  Shake your collective heads at your misspent youths, gentlemen.

Crimson Wizard is up next.

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Dude!  Search function!  Duuuuuuuuude!

Right.  Fill in the blanks:

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I think all accounts should be reset every year, and then we'd have fun rediscovering who is who.   Over the years, only the most dedicated creepers would know about your dirty laundry from years back.    As far as everyone else was concerned, you'd just be a blank slate to be judged on your merits instead of your past.