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I need names of clan members, and numbers of mercenaries.  Gently pointing out that the "good use of her fortune" might entail actually paying taxes to the crown might help us gauge the sincerity of her desire to further the interests of the kingdom instead of just her own.  Another tact might be telling her that our evil brother had mentioned her beauty and breeding frequently: see if she reveals any relationship to him, or her age.

>> Offer BROOMHILDE of YESTERYEAR some wine and appear very interested in hearing more about her.

On another note, I've been reading up on how Henry II of England married into wealth (Eleanor of Aquitaine), and then imprisoned her for sixteen years when she became too much of a pain to keep.  Just saying's all....

My opinion is that before we talk categories, we've got to talk mission.  What are the AGS awards for?  If it's just a popularity contest, why not just have one award ("Best Game")?  Now I don't begrudge the winners of the best game award their due glory, but I have my suspicions that their popularity causes votes to spill over into other categories that, though deserving, they might not actually be "the best" in.

A few examples:

This year Heroine's Quest won 69% (11/16) of all voted awards (and consider that it wasn't eligible for Best Demo, Short Game, & Non-Adventure).  Out of a pool of 110 games.  With 22 rated 4 cups or more by the players (the rating panel hasn't got to most of them).  What are the chances?

In 2012 Resonance won 71% (12/17) of all voted awards. (same eligibility caveat)

In 2011 it was Gemini Rue with 41% (7/17). (ditto)

In 2010 it was The Journey Down with 65% (11/17). (ditto again)

Now don't get me wrong, these were all GREAT games!  But the blockbuster phenomena pretty much makes voting by categories redundant.  If all we want to do is glorify the single most popular game made with AGS then why not just have one single BEST GAME award?

Alternatively, the awards could be about showcasing the diverse talent pool that is the AGS community, giving exposure to games that wouldn't necessarily otherwise get them.  How do we do this fairly?  We could create award categories that emphasize diversity of genres, like Best Horror or Best Fantasy Game; or categories that reward innovation over simply being best, like Most Daring Interface or Most Thought Provoking Experience.  Or we could make it a community event and have preview clips of each nominated game, like at the Oscars, followed by an online poll at the ceremony itself (adding to the suspense and hopefully attendance as well).  Obviously that last idea would require much more coordination of an already laborious process, but my point is that actually seeing examples of the best that each game has to offer juxtaposed might counteract the herd-mentality of voters a bit. 

In summary, I think the awards need a bit of a shake-up to stay relevant. 

    I hate to be the voice of reason here, but since no one else is stepping up to the plate on this I feel obliged to make the case.  It's not that I fancy the elderly (although I do have a penchant for slightly over-ripe fruit...), nor do I particularly relish the idea of spending another moment with this a stuck-up, snooty, condescending, self-important, arch-bitch (can I say that without offending anyone?).  But she's got an annual income of 100 gold coins, whereas we've got an annual income of 20 gold coins.  Any way you cut that math, it spells trouble.  I've read that instability in the English monarchy is closely correlated to an over-mighty subject gaining an income equal or greater than 50% of the king's: the house of Yesteryear has over 5 times our income!

     That kind of wealth is dangerous to have about.  Where will those resources go if we spurn her?  If we're lucky, we only suffer the opportunity cost of not having the cash, but it is just as likely it will fall into the hands of some other over-mighty lord (Sir Kevin of Axemount springs to mind), or she may well use the wealth herself to extract petty vengeance at being rejected.  HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED.  Either way you cut it, this spells big trouble down the road.
     As I see it, we have three realistic options here:

1) Reject her outright (the course we are on now, probably resulting in consequences even uglier than Broomhilde)
2) Accept her offer (gaining us wealth, but at the price of putting up with Broomhilde -probably expensive and certainly unappealing)
3) Stall for time

    I would opt for the third choice.  This could take a variety of forms, such as a lengthy engagement wherein she must be confined to a nunnery for at least a year to prove her chasteness and moral character, agreeing in principal but haggling endlessly over the details (pedigree charts, dowry, marriage contract, wedding details, proof of fertility, rumours of infidelity....), begging for time to think about it and then hiding behind the throne until she decides to leave, annoying her as much as she annoys us by endlessly asking for more information, travelling to distant places (to check with an augur, or inspect the lands of Yesteryear ourselves), wishing to indulge in courtship for a while until we get to know each other.... 

    In the back of my mind, I'm thinking in the long run we've got to be a little nasty here (she probably deserves it due to her attitude, and in any event it is a political necessity): we part this old bird from her cash without suffering the horrors of marriage to such a creature.  We've been pretty civil/chivalrous so far, but I think this is a case for some realpolitik: there's just too much on the line.  I don't think we, collectively, have the stomach for murder, but maybe with the collusion of the Jester we could catch her in a compromised position immediately after the wedding which would result in her forfeiting her property to us for fraudulent and treasonous acts, and her being banished permanently to a convent or prison....

    In the short run, we must assess the extent of the threat.  Who is the head of the Yesteryear clan?  How many family members are there?  Where are her family's lands, and what fraction of them are on the table here (all, or only part)?  How many knights serve the family?  How well trained and how loyal are they?  Where does their wealth come from (land, trade, industry, resources)?  What feuds are they party to (what enemies would we hypothetically acquire by marrying into the clan)?  What is her personal history (previous marriages/engagements/widowhoods....)?

>>Tell Lady Broomhilde we are honoured by the proposal and wish to know more about her and the Yesteryear clan.  And order the lady a chair: that's classy.

Two questions:

1) How old is she?

2) Is bigamy legal in our realm?

Don't ask me why his proboscis looks like a purple telephone; it just happened. 

I didn't say not to fart.  I just wanted to look important if we did....

>Strike regal pose.  You know the one, with chest out and legs splayed.

Alright, I finally read through the whole drama.  Interesting.

I have to respect Kiira's (and Myinah's, and Calin's, and Snarky's, and Calypso's....) opinion here.  I felt the lesbians were beyond the pale as well, but then I was raised in a very puritanical socially sanitized North American country, so of course that's what I would think.

For a moment, though, I'd like to take Dualnames' side.  Not because he sometimes has a delicate ego and not just because I sincerely value all the effort he put into the ceremony (as well as other AGS-related endeavours).  I'm going to set aside the whole southern European cultural thing, where nudity and sex seem (to me anyway) to be more casually viewed, which may just account for why he didn't feel the need to apologize (i.e. the he-didn't-know-better argument).  No, I'm going to take Dualnames' side because the man is an artist.  I know he is an artist because he toils, perhaps in a garret, for hours and hours and weeks and weeks on a labour of love.  I know he is an artist because he reacts temperamentally on occasion to feedback (Sorry Duals, it's true).  But primarily I know that he is an artist because he pushes the envelope and tries new and exciting and risky things.  This makes him a genius.  When it works.  Which this time it didn't.  I think Bicci put it best, quoting someone else who I'm not going to bother going back to find out who, when he said "One who makes no mistakes, makes nothing."

So, in summary, Dualnames has definitely made a mistake.  This must be (and has been) politely pointed out to him.  His reaction, from what I can glean from quotes of his deleted posts, was unfortunate, and clearly he needs some time to mull it over.  But I don't consider him some sort of villain.  He's just a hard-working artistic guy who's 99.9% of the time a great and valued member of the community who accidentally stepped over the line.  I hope everyone can find it in their hearts to forgive him.

Also, the internet is a place where a grain of salt and a thick skin are handy inventory items... Just kiddin'

How about YOU write something you're uncomfortable with? How about just any topic you find difficult -- or just not your cup of tea, in any way? Completely uninteresting to you. The polar opposite of your favorite topics. How about a genre that you hate and despise?

I hope you look forward to reading a romance novel....

>Offer the help they need, but instead of the 100silver pay, tell them to build an outpost tower that will serve the king and his men. The plans for the tower's layout and someone to command the construction will follow the supplies.

+1

....Although I'd have them digging drainage ditches and building dykes around their fields.  Any wooden tower of peasant construction is probably of dubious value to us militarily, but I agree that foregoing the cash in exchange for useful labour is a good idea for morale.  (And those peasants would just be sitting idle until planting season next year on our tab, the scroungers!).

[Fitz!]

....and it's results time!

In first place with six votes is Fitz!  You win the golden odd-couple statue: display it proudly!    As for feedback, I have mixed feelings about your piece.  I'm not really the fan of the graphical sex-scenes, although from a plot perspective I see why they were necessary.  Outside of that, however, I was simply mesmerized by your inventive descriptions and imaginative dystopian future.  The random train of thought/reflection of the main protagonist was insanely brilliant, especially the word-play (Merdor, sushit, pooeblos, good Lard, and on and on....!) and how it drew together all the aspects of the plot.  So a victory well deserved!

Tied for second with five votes each are our regular contributors Sinitrena and kconan, who each get to share a silver odd-couple trophy: .  I liked Sinitrena's theatrical presentation and once again her fantastical imagination in creating a fleshed out fantasy world in so short a story (in this case I'm thinking of the rules governing the nature of demons in particular).  I thought the true Telron and Hamen were rather similar in terms of character, though, but maybe the demon himself was intended to be the antagonist?  Kconan's story for me perfectly evoked the theme of opposites and how the inherent tension between them would play out, and it was a fun read as well.  I was a little disappointed at the lack of conclusive ending, but that's his prerogative.

So overall, I was really impressed.  It's unfortunate that the length of some of the entries seems to have scared off the voter pool, because I think there was some seriously intense and eye-opening writing that deserves a wider audience.

Anyway, great work everybody!  The burden of administering the next competition now falls to Fitz: I look forward to the next topic!  See you all again in the next exciting instalment of....


...The Fortnightly Writing Competition! 

"God hate hags".

I disagree on the original message (that was clearly a divine truth handed down from the creator himself).  It must have read "GOD DATES WAGS".  This clearly means that God is some sort of athlete, implying that the Greeks had it right all along and that conceptions of the divine have been on a long downward slide for the past 2500 years.  Also it means if you're a puck-bunny, cheerleader, or other trophy-girl you'd be well advised to step up your game and make yourself available!

>and put flames on it!

That's a big +1

[Sinitrena:]

It's voting time! 

While I am somewhat disappointed by the number of entries, the sheer effort that has gone into the lengthy works that were submitted more than makes up for it!  Our contestants this time, in order of entry, are:

Sinitrena: Light is Darkness of a Different Kind
kconan: Bugs & Pests Co.
Fitz: The Old Switcheroo

Voting will be by category.  Due to the limited number of contestants you must vote only once per category, for a total of six votes.  The categories are:

Best Character: You find one or several characters extra believable/captivating/magnetic/unique, etc.
Best Plot: The story arc was well-organized, coherent, and well-executed with appropriate pacing; basically the best story.
Best Atmosphere: This is all about feeling: did the story evoke strong feelings due to excitement/humour/intrigue/wonder/emotional intensity?
Best Setting: The best background world or milieu for a story; a place brought to life.
Best Word Choice/Style: The technical art of combining words in clever or gripping ways.
Most Opposite Pairing: Which odd-couple was the oddest pairing?

I'm kind of late getting this rolling, so you can vote until I start tallying sometime on March 5th.  Best of luck to all participants!  There will be TROPHIES!!!

I'll submit around noon Hong Kong time (GMT + 8) on Friday, the 28th if that works Baron.

Nice!  In all honesty, I don't think I've ever officially started voting until the next day after the deadline, just to be sure that all time zones had their fair shake.  So we've still got time folks!  Approximately a day and a half from this post.  So get out that pad of paper and a pencil and start scribbling! 

None of us have time: you gotta make time!  Usually by combining an unlikely assortment of inventory items....

WOOT for entries!  WOOT!  WOOT!  WOOT!
      In other news, you've got approximately 3 days left to get your submission in.  Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned, but I, for one, have a very hard time judging the merit of your story when you neglect to write it down and share it.  So feel the hype and start to type! 

I've read some pretty lengthy "short" stories in this competition over the past couple of years, so don't worry about word-count per se.  If it's gripping, the reader always wants more anyway.  As far as the competition goes, however, there may be some logistical disadvantages if the piece you submit is extremely long, as traditionally we only have a three day voting window: some voters might not be able to plough through your work in time and thus might not necessarily give you the recognition you deserve.  But it's a fine line to walk: fleshing out a world/plot thoroughly vs. keeping the reader on the edge of his/her seat.  Good luck!

"I was born a snake handler, and I'll die a snake handler."

All this talk of Lancelot drawing makes me acutely aware that we don't yet have a court artist on the payroll.  Or nude models running around in support of the artist and his craft, but that's another topic.