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Who is this mysteriously prompt stranger?!? 

[because]

Best Writing: Baron (despite the abundance of crude language)

Or maybe because of the abundance of crude language.... 

Congratulations Sinitrena!   

And to you too, Mandle.  I hope your chronic fatigue is not caused by the kissing disease, because imma show you some loving. 

And good work KyriakosCH.  If you want to exchange stories well before the deadline via PM for constructive feedback before posting I will happily forward them to Sinitrena for editing. 

And finally, good work WHAM!  It was a great theme idea, even if a few of us ran out of gas at some critical moments. 

See y'all next time!

I'm pretty sure the old guy in his underpants in that video is Mandle 20 years back.  How the mighty have sagged further.... 

I AM MANDLE'S KRYPTONITE.  He always goes weak in the knees when I'm around. 

I do tend to blather on and on....  90% of my writing is just padding to make the length look respectable.  I advise just reading the first paragraph and basing your votes on that. 

[@ Mandle]

What's a 23:59 UTC?  Why don't you people speak American?!?    It's still May 31 here.  I'm still going to beat that original deadline, time-zones and logic be damned! 

@ Mandle: OK, it made sense on the third reading, and I pieced together all the meanings without any spoilers.  Except I pictured more god-like beings than super huge aliens, but whatever.  I appreciated the challenge of trying to figure out what exactly was going on, and I liked the mannerisms of your nervous salesman (whom I read as being just a mortal or at least a subservient super-being).  On the downside, I didn't detect any actual advertisement (although logically the prospective buyer is probably reacting to one).  Also, there wasn't much of a story arc.  I think the piece has a lot of potential if extended a bit so that we could get invested more in the character's stories, and then the pay-off reveal would be the icing on the cake.

@ KyriakosCH: I kind of got this mind-controlling vibe from your advertisement, with hordes of people lining up and the sceptical narrator describing how the ad sucked you in.  I liked the contrarian atmosphere he creates, and you have some good imagery with the toddler blindly waddling into danger, and your piece is very obviously about an advertisement.  But I have to agree with other comments that what was actually going on needed to be fleshed out a bit more to make sense to a casual reader. 

@ Sinitrena: I liked all of your characters, who despite the short length of the piece all stood out as distinct and well-defined.  Except for Peter, I liked how you made them all just dumb enough to make the plot plausible in the context of the story-world.  You had some great turns of phrase as well, from the "loud silence of nature" in the forest to Gerald's love affair with his artillery piece.  For me the sexual imagery fell a bit flat, as I was looking for a bit of a deeper meaning to the ending, but maybe it's just a case of this ageing male not finding misfires amusing any more.... 

And to the votes...

Best Character: I'm going with Sinitrena's gun-nut Gerald who lets his enthusiasm for his own world view blind him to the obvious perils of revealing his pet-project.

Best Story: Despite a bit of anticlimax at the end, I still thought Sinitrena brought us on the best ride.

Best Writing: N'yeah, this one is tough.  I think I have to go with Mandle by the slimmest of whiskers.  He had great pacing (despite the fact that I wanted more), the way his salesman presented the property spoke volumes, and the double-entendres were hugely ambitious.  The piece had it's minor flaws as discussed, but so too did the competition.
 
Best Use of Theme:  I'm sold on Sinitrena for this one.  The whole story revolved around an overt and well-described advertisement to an extent that the others did not.

As for my own piece, I appreciate the kind feedback.  I concede that the piece was rushed due to other deadlines eating up my time, and that I could have described what was happening a bit better.  My premise was that inane radio-ads are actually coded job-offers for space mercenaries, but beyond that I didn't invest a lot of thought in characterization or plot, and it shows.  But don't worry: this kind of deal won't last forever! 

What about KyriakosCH's ent-?  M'oh.....   

[Blue Spectrum Blues]

Blue Spectrum Blues

   The two brothers sat sullenly on the tiny bridge of the Nantucket, feeling more blue than the muted glow of the dozen monitors.  Danyu, the elder, busied himself with forging the past week's course logs.  Cojang, the younger, idly scanned the sub-spectrum waves for a job.  The rest of the small crew was busy mucking out their latest misadventure down in the mizzen bay. 

   Suddenly the radio buzzed to life: “-only twenty-nine ninety-nine!  Yes, this brand new TransCo Eclair can be yours at 18% OAC.  C'mon down to Nifty-Nola's, Sector 1873, New Saturn...”

   â€œSkippit,” Danyu muttered.  Technically they were both co-captains of the ship, but Danyu often couldn't help taking charge.

   â€œBeen a while since we hit New Saturn, Bro,” Cojang suggested, letting the channel natter on a while longer.

   â€œNifty-Nola's that six-hundred pound Ukranian blob, remember?” Danyu reminded his brother.  “He might advertise only an 18% cut, but he'll tack bitch-wise once we're hip deep in the shit-juice.  Goddam Eclair ain't worth it, no matter how pimped.”

   Cojang licked his teeth but held his tongue, instead continuing his scan.

   The radio crackled to life again.  ”-suffer from painful anal-parasites?  Struggle to contain the BRRZZZKKKK NRBials boring into your nipple tissue?  Then try new Poritron Nova-Cream!  It's smooth, medicated cleansing action prevSHHHHH VVRRRRK DUHMN-”

   â€œDon't need no hitman, either,” Danyu spat.

   â€œDon't I know that?” Cojang slipped in, tossing his brother some stink-eye.  He knew Danyu was just nursing his wounded pride after that vacuum worm gave them the slip that morning, but he resented being big-brothered all the time.  “Wait...  Nova-Cream?  That's not old One-Eyed Sue, is it?”

   â€œYeah.  Last I heard she was working out of Centaurius, but that signal's pretty weak.”

   Cojang checked the spectrum wavelength.  “Eighty sixty-two on the blue band.  Whazzat, Feng Shui?”

   â€œNah, you're thinking eighty sixty-nine with Marvin Glow in the D.M.”

   â€œShit, yeah!  ââ,,¢ÂªIf you shit your pants than you better call Lance!ââ,,¢Âªâ€

   â€œÃ¢â,,¢Âª...then you better call Lance!ââ,,¢Âªâ€ Danyu sang along, chuckling.  “That line's a classic.”  He hacked at his controls for a few moments.  “Fuck me,” he said, the smile fading from his lips again.  “It's butt-fuck Quorrantoria.”

   Cojang shook his head in disbelief.  “It's like the Kahn-Zoe Circuit Champ spinning out on the milk run.  How the mighty have fallen....”

   â€œYeah, well...  that ain't gonna be us, see?”

   â€œHell's no, Bro!  We'll score that green!”

   â€œDamn straight.”

   Cojang fiddled with the spectrum filter, bringing in the range.  He glanced at the fuel gauge and shook his head, bringing in the range further.  “Whatever we find, we got exactly one more shot at it,” he mumbled despite himself.

   â€œI know it,” Danyu sighed, checking their course before turning back to the logs.

   There was a long silence as the two brothers contemplated the corner they were slowly painting themselves into.  Then, “-of children go to bed hungry every night.  I'm Dr. Henry Wise, and I believe it is incumbent upon all of us to rid the world of this grave injustice.  For just ninety-nine cents a day you can feed a starving child.  But that's not all!  Your generous donations will also subsidize school fees, vaccination clinics, parasite nets, and clean water projects throughout the lower-”

   â€œGoddam government contract,” Cojang groaned, re-initiating the scan.

   â€œWait, go back for a sec,” Danyu said.

   Cojang pulled a sour face, but dialled back to the old frequency. 

    “-in need.  One need only to look for a moment into their innocent eyes to know with certainty that we need to act now.  Don't delay!  As an added bonus the first ten callers will receive correspondence directly from the child your donation has helped to save.  Imagine, for just pennies a day you could know first-hand how your generosity has made a real difference in the world.  For less then the price of a cup of coffee you could....”

   â€œI don't get it,” Cojang shrugged.  “What is it, like a blockade run or something?  There ain't no green in food jumps.  We might as well put a sticker upside the old Nanny and start delivering cryo-pizzas.”

   â€œIt's a goddam famine,” Danyu cursed, rubbing his temples. 

   â€œWe can't even fill the tank at ninety-nine a day!” Cojang said incredulously.  “To say nuffin 'bout paying the crew.  Where's your head at, man?”

   â€œAre you proud of what we do out here?” Danyu asked his brother.

   â€œHell's yes, man.  Hell's yes!  We are SURVIVORS, and proud of it.  There ain't no green in do-goodery.  Whatcha gonna fill your bucket on an empty stomach?”

   They sat another minute, letting the radio drone on.  “-in a war torn countryside beset by drought and pestilence.  Can we just sit by while millions of innocents are held hostage to the conflicts of the greedy?  In a single week the highland militias spend twice as much on arms as it would take to feed the entire civilian population.  Profiteers patrol the only undamaged port and bootleggers flood the local markets with dangerous pseudo-foods at incredible markups.  The situation is dire beyond words.  If you could only know the anguish of having a child die in your-”

   â€œI'm not gonna let you do this, Bro,” Cojang said defiantly.

   â€œYou gotta parse the message,” Danyu replied, checking the signal source and doing some rough calculations.

   â€œWhat?!?”

   â€œWe're not gonna take the G-man contract, fuck!  We're gonna hit the militia supply chain and make some real green.  Think about it: fat profiteers gouging millions to support a two-bit local insurgency with no intergalactic presence to back them up?  The best the government can throw at the problem is any small-time penny-mercs stupid enough to answer their ad to run cal-powder for peanuts?  Chaos and confusion drawing in every tea-biscuit grade barge and dhow for some easy cash-runs for the warlords?  The Nantucket can flip three of their dawdle-ducks before Johnny Goon-Squad knows bum, and then we're out of the local before the wasps even have a chance to swarm.  And who knows, maybe hitting the baddies in the pockets might even help the gov gain an advantage to improve the situation....”

   Cojang just sat there, gob-smacked.  “That's... that's beautiful, man.”

   â€œDon't get all sentimental on me,” Danyu chided.  “Set six-five on the navi-quad and tell the crew to get some down time.  We're going to work first thing in the morning.”

   â€œAye-aye, Cap'n.”

Are there any 2-for-1 deals allowed? 

[@ TheFrighter]

@ TheFrighter:  Yeah, I guess sometimes we get a little to comfortable with the routines and just assume that everybody knows them.  Usually the theme is more straightforward (see the new theme set by WHAM, for example), and the competition ends with a nice, clean ceremony.  But what can I say?  I'm a sucker for character writing.     Hope to see you around the next comp!

@ Sinitrena: Yeah, upon a more sober reading of your piece I can see your point.  But you still have to acknowledge the paradox of breaking some rules but not others.  If they knew what was coming and had the means to avoid it, wouldn't they be at least a little tempted?  The werewolf is clawing at the door and dad's revolver with the silver bullets is sitting right there on the desk.  The kids look at the door about to give way, and then back to the desk.  "Dad told us not to," one says to the other.  "You're right, oh well," is the reply.  And then they get eaten.  The end.  I guess my point is that I think you left a metaphorical gun and the figurative mantelpiece and I was slightly frustrated that it wasn't entirely addressed. 

@ Everybody: Thanks to everyone who participated.  See you next time!

Now lay off the booze 'fore so you're all nice and crisp and sober for the next fortnightly!

@ WHAM: What is this, a church picnic?  I hear the ad business and booze go together like scotch and rocks!   

I think Baron might have started his weekend a bit early, and might not sober up 'til Monday anyway. 

Hey!  I don't have to shit here and take that kind of... whaddaya call it?  Ah, ferget it.... 

Now where was I?  Oh yeah!  I wanna tell you guys that you're the best.  You really are.  I love you guys!  I don't know about some of the crazy theme ideas I come up with, but you guys sure came through with a bunch of good writing.  WHAM, ol' buddy, ol' pal, I really like your words.  They're like, all frisky and full of life and stuff.  Kind of like baby honey badgers.  Makes a cold-hearted ol' son-of-a-bitch like me go all gooey inside.  You got that way of playing on the heart strings like they're some kind of instrument.  I like that about you, WHAM.  You can't have a good story without feeling.  Where's the beef, they say?  Where's the heart; that's the question.  And you got it, man.  You're all heart.  I lov eyou man.

Now Sinitrena, don't you feel all left out because of the bromance guy-crush thing I got goin' on with ol' WHAMO.  You done all right.  I really liked the idea of fictional inspiration actually being real stories from distant lands, but with complications when the journalists become part of the story.  Who cares if the how and the why were a bit confusing off the cup, but I don't know who that guy is or when he's coming?  But I'll tell you one thing.  And then they were all like "well I guess it's inevitable" and I guess that's that.  But wouldn't they KNOW there was the book cominf if they could see the future story threads.  So then you could just not pick up the mail and then WHOA!  WE'RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS PEEPS!!  But I thought it was a good idea.  You're the best, Sini.

Now get over here JudasFm.  That was some kind of crazy road trip about to go off.  But where's the 80s road mix?  I liked the slugs with eye stems but not shoulders.  You'd never get lost if you were a slug, cause there'd always be a trail of slime showing you where youd been.  Im glad to here that your feeling better though. 

Oh, I forgot the trophies.  Their all grails because of the reader's choice and you must choose wisely.  They make for great trophies but I woudn't drink out of them if I wre you.  Exsept the clay trophy for third place: you can;t take that one past the seal or you'll rune the whole ceremony.  And we don't need any party poopers here, because this parties never gonna stop!  Am I right?  Guys?  Guys?

[JudasFm]

It's voting time!

Our contestants this fortnight are:

JudasFm:  Virus Induced Ravings  (Theme: "Wait, what do you mean this isn't a reality TV show?", supplied by WHAM)
WHAM:  What is gained without a price paid, is of no worth  (Theme: "...dancing on top of an erupting volcano...", supplied by Sinitrena)
Sinitrena: The Chronicler    (Theme: "Someone gets a journal in the mail from a distant acquaintance, and the journal leads them to a secret", supplied by JudasFm)

Please judge the contestants on the following criteria:

Best Character: the most believable/captivating/magnetic/unique character
Best Plot: the best journey from A to B, told in a gripping way.
Best Writing: the technical category for polish, word-choice, conciseness, etc.
Best Use of Theme: who was best able to take a difficult theme and make magic of it?

Voting will be open until Thursday May 9, with votes tabulated the next day when I find the time. 

Good luck to all participants!

[Edit:]

No complaints here.  Deadline is hereby extended to midnight of Saturday April 4, 2019.

Edit: By that I mean, of course, Saturday May 4, 2019.

Just keeping you on your toes, folks.   

Oh, c'mon Sinitrena!  You've got three more days to ask for an extension!  Stop worrying and start procrastinating! 

Rules are rules.     

But sometimes rules aren't rules.   

There's a rule about when rules are rules and when rules aren't rules; I will make a ruling on that rule if it would clarify matters. 

The main rule is always BARON RULES!!!1! 

In the mean time, there's nothing saying you can't have two themes, as long as you include the mandatory one somehow.  You can call your work "Magnolia".... 

Oooo!  Good question!  I'm going to have to say no, since the whole intent of this round is to write a story for someone else.  So you can cherry-pick any theme not set by you.

Stop finding loopholes in my carefully calibrated plan, Sinitrena!   

*Baron laughs maniacally

So, if get more than one prompt I can choose between them? How about multiple entries in this round?

Yeah, sure, why not?  Multiple entries are hereby allowed.  And yes, if you only want to write one entry, you must choose from the themes you are given (if you are given more than one), or combine them as you see fit.

And are you sure two weeks are enough - waiting 72h for a topic removes three days of writing and thinking time. Additionally, not every aspiring writer will announce his intend right away. And some people might want to wait to give their one prompt to see who the potential writers are.

Don't delay, act now!    Given recent evidence, I don't think a lot of people will feel an intense need to start writing in the first 72 hours.  Someone who desperately needs an immediate theme is free to pester for one in the thread, and I'm sure some friendly AGSer would be happy to oblige them.  If we have any late joiners we can always offer an extension.  But for now the deadline stands.

Any AGS member is entitled to give one (1) other person a theme.

And could I give this one person more than one theme?

Nope.  You may hand out one theme to one person within 72 hours of their announcement of intent.  You can feel free to wait until hour 71 and see if anyone else provides an author with a decent theme, but if you don't give them a theme by hour 72 I get to (or they can cherry pick one given to any other contestant).

I hope that clarifies things.  Nice to see all the interest already! 

[Reader's Choice]

Hello, and welcome to the Fortnightly Writing Competition.  Here we compete with words and wits to write the best composition on a given theme.  Submissions can be long or short, poetic or prosaic, published here or hoarded to yourself.... wait, not that last one.  Basically you need to write something on theme in the next two weeks and share it here in the comp thread.  Our theme this fortnight is...

Reader's Choice



This is how it will work.

1) Announce your intent to write something (this does not legally commit you to finish something, but allows you to maybe get started)

2) Wait 72 hours for someone* to post a simple scenario.  This might be something like troll goes to manner camp or witch gets part-time work as a line-chef.

3) Write!  Or don't write, I guess.  But it might disappoint your expectant fans....

4) We all meet up again in two weeks to vote on who we thought did the best with what they were given to work with.

5) Everybody wins!**

*Any AGS member is entitled to give one (1) other person a theme.  Any number of people can give the same person a theme within 72 hours of their announcement of intent, so that the writer might have several themes to choose from (or choose to combine them all?!?).  So that there is no confusion, with overlapping announcements, you must direct your theme at the intended recipient in the following format:

@Somebody: insurance salesman goes to war

In the highly unlikely event that nobody gives you a theme within the allotted time then the contest administrator will provide you with one.  If you don't like it, you can cherry-pick someone else's theme.  But if a reader has directed a scenario specifically at you, you must adapt it into your piece somehow (unless you have multiple scenario proposals to choose from).

**We all win by having great stories written just for us!***

***Actual winners may vary.  See contest rules for full details.

Potential voting categories:

Best Character: the most believable/captivating/magnetic/unique character
Best Plot: the best journey from A to B, told in a gripping way.
Best Writing: the technical category for polish, word-choice, conciseness, etc.
Best Use of Theme: who was best able to take a difficult theme and make magic of it. 

All submissions are required to be posted in this thread by Tuesday April 30.  Good luck to all participants!

I feel that despite the win by acclamation history will judge mine to be the B3ST ST0RY 3VAR!!!1!!!!!!!