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Behold the wrath of Bob, Giant Sperm of Doom!



He has the power of swimming complex mazes without getting lost or stuck in a dead end.

Worf

A somber tactician who keeps emotional flares in check, you bravely refuse to back down when fighting for matters of honor.

Perhaps today is a good day to die!

Oh fudge. I'm a frigging klingon...

I don't get it...

Silly Evil, you know my cooter is meant only for Chris(t) Jones.

Thank you guys. You're the bestest anonymous internet entities in the world.

I pee from bush! See? It come out in pretty golden arc. Would you like to raid my arc? Haha! I make the joke!

Wow, this is much more fulfilling than a thread about me being bummed out! I'm just sitting here refreshing, and enjoying the lurve. I love you guys. You're the coolest. Let's all join hands and sing the happy song.

I'm happy
You're happy
Everyone's happy
Let's pee on the bush!

I'm so happy now.

I figure, I don't post here much anymore, so I have a right to make a spam thread. Happy f*king birthday to me, 24 years of tv, videogames, and really bad pop. Time to crack open the bottle of vintage crystal pepsi and eat that unopened box of Nintedo Cereal System. Ah, nostalgia! Live in the past, and the hurts of the present mean nothing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch Rainbow Bright and the Star Stealer.

I remember the first adventure game I ever played was Shadowgate on the NES. I loved it, found it easy to beat. I didn't know what type of game it was at the time, and just regarded it as a 'choose your own adventure', like those cool books I read. I begged for Deja Vu, and loved that game too. I still play them, and compare all games in the adventure genre to them.

Yet I dislike most adventure games. I find them boring as hell. Sure, I enjoy the games produced by the community. There's something about a bunch of nerds taking the time to do what normally requires a large team of experts to produce. I just find so many of the puzzles ridiculous, and often they don't advance the story, but lead to another ridiculous puzzle. I hated Monkey Island as a game. It was good for a laugh, for 5 minutes, but I just don't know why this community holds it as the golden standard of adventure gaming. I played and enjoyed QFG4, but as an RPG. I didn't even know it was an adventure game until I came here.

Loom, on the other hand, had that 'choose your own adventure' feel that I enjoyed as a child, as did Croshaw's 5 Days a Stranger. I like the linear gameplay, it fits the format. I /hate/ having to click every goddamned thing on the screen, taking everything that isn't nailed down. I'd much rather look at the scene, think of the story as it's been told up to that point, and make a logical deduction as to the best course of action. It makes me feel like I'm standing in for the main character, taking part in a story. I'm the protagonist. If I'm not able to put myself in the scene completely, I feel the game has failed completely. What's the point, after all, of an interactive story when paying attention to the narration has little to do with what you're doing? And that is all an adventure game is, really.

I guess I'm not a fan of adventure games. I'm a fan of good storytellers, yarn-spinners.

Moofle.

You dare to steal my modern comtemporary highly fashionable teacher's desk? For shame. Oh well. Roger's hiding under the desk. He'll bite your hand if you steal that desk.

original


I fixed the floor, neutralized most of the colors so they look more like background colors and not LOOK-AT-ME-I-ARES-TEH-BRIGHT!!1-colors. I changed the shape of the desk because I liked the curvey against all the straight lines and angles. I started playing with the trash can and ended up turning it into a darling wicker basket. Someone tore off a corner on one of the papers when I wasn't looking. I blame the doll.

I plan to start shading next. Don't worry, something will go in that doorway eventually. I'm a little amused that a classroom door opens into a black hole.

I'm not sure how to word this. I'm still a little out of it. I thought I had managed to work past my need to kill myself. I've had no need to cut myself, raid the medicine cabinet, scratch myself or attempt any other method of damaging my person for a couple months now. Then I woke in on odd mood today,

I started packing up a small bag- sketchbook, penicles, feminine napkins , etc... I felt so odd while doing it, very detached and methodical. And then I planned when I would leave, and what direction I would walk in. And 2 hours ago, I went outside and headed for the highway.

It's nice out tonight, slight breeze, a little more traffic than usual. I was out for about an hour, when suddenly I had a moment of clear thinking: I'm a 350 pound couch potato. I'd die of a heart attack or heatstroke before I got anywhere. What was I going to do? Waddle all the way to California? The only thing I would get from a highway-guided treck is death. Lots of fast semi trucks, lots of opportunity. And death was what I was seeking. And then I was humiliated to realise I chickened out.

I turned around and went home, knocked on the door to be let in because I had left my key in my room. My parents are in bed, and Angie (youngest sis) was at the comp so she let me in. She gave me an odd look when she saw the backpack, and I just went back into my guarded shell and said I had gone for a walk.

I never thought my desire to give up on life would take such a form. I guess I can't bury it and call myself cured. I understand now that I do need to tell my parents about my problems, a realisation I come to during some of my worse bouts of depression. But the minute I walked through the door into the living room, I decided I don't really need to tell them. I can handle it on my own.

I'm embarrassed, frightened  (damn neer tears right now), and not sure where to go at this point.  And typing this, I realise I really need to develope a circle of friends I can talk to instead of this posting on the forum shit. Lord knows internet geeks have all the answers- though that doesn't matter since I'm not asking for advice. meh... I'll just lurk in #ags for a couple more hours and imagine everyone there is naked- unless they're already naked, in which case I'll imagine them fully clothed.

Yufster, wanna make out and stuff without first dressing in animal costumes, since I don't find getting intimate with animal-people arousing in any way?

When you've no idea what to say.

I'll let IRC do it:

<Weaseltit> Hmm, I'm having trouble finding the best way to say, "I'm not going to be hanging around the community for a long while, or the net for that matter, which means anything you might have been looking forward to from me will be postponed for an indeffinate lenght of time."
<Grundislav> that sounds good to me
<Weaseltit> On second thought, that seems to sum it up quite nicely
<ShatteredSponge> NOOOO!!!
<ShatteredSponge> Wait a minute... yes.
<Unilin> Yeah, pretty clear
<Grundislav> hey! does that mean no more french comic???
<Weaseltit> Looks that way grund, though I might allow a chance for guest comics which I could put up once a week..
<Grundislav> your humor will be missed
<Weaseltit> I'm sure it will.

No, I'm not leaving permanently. I just need time to think. I guess I've got quite a mess up there in my head, and ignoring it with the aid of the internet is only making it worse. I've worked so hard at disconnecting myself from the world I've succeeded and lost touch with just about everything. After I've managed to sort things out to a point I'm not trying to escape reality with every mouse click I'll start popping in regularly again.

So, right.. Tootles, I guess. See you whenever. Maybe I'll have Default Quest and/or Captain Oblivious and Lefty.

And maybe Phil will have finished LV3.

Felipe- I hope to god he finds his shirt.
Master Brum- I've sent him a 72 pack of Kraft American cheese.
Jesus- Why haven't you returned my calls?

I lack motivation to think of anyone else I've socialised with. I say too many stupid things and obsess over too many stupid people too remember it all.

Neat, I'm on 2 lists.

Philcow, I think I love you. Abuse me more and I will adore and worship you. Look, I've even taken up smoking and wearing a beret so as to taunt you and force you to accuse me of a cruel tongue.

Feel free to type french, I'm sure someone will be able to understand you.

Scotch: Speak for yourself. I hate those French bastards, and you can see how much I hate them by visiting www.melia-k.tk. Those poodle breeders can kiss my red white and blue bum. Can you believe they stole USA's flag colors? Those croissant munching mime spankers!

Philcow, welcome to AGS.

What? No prop comedy? Bah, you're gonna stink.

I giggled, but then I'm a little tipsy right now.

*fart* hehehe

Poop, you're just saying that because you're prejudiced against fat people. I am suing you for being fatist! Fatist pig!

(no, I'm not a piggot)

Wow, that little edit made a huge difference in her expression. She looks much colder now. It would look really good if I straightened out her flamingo leg.

And thank you for the compliment concerning my shading. I'm not confident in my shading skills, which is partly why I kept her clothing to a minimum.