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Spoiler

I think that'kll be in the director's cut, Esseb.

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Spoiler

TOO LATE!

*DGMacphee chops down Sponge's door with an axe!

HEEEEERE'S DANNY!!!!!

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Spoiler

All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Daniel a dull boy.

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'...no, you see what happened was the royal servant dropped his glasses, which caused Michael Fawcett to drop the bowl of fruit he was holding in sheer surprise; he bent over to pick it up, and Prince Charles lowered the banana he had managed to salvage to the same level as his crotch out of dissapointment for the shoddy work of the two; with impaired vision, this appeared to the royal aide as if something totally different was taking place, and he fainted backwards.  His posterior served to cushion the blow as he hit the floor, which is why he felt as though he had been anally raped when he woke up.  We have figured it out, go back to bed Great Britain, your government has figured out how it all transpired.  Go back to bed Great Britain, your government is in control again - here, here's Robot Wars; watch this, shut up.  Go back to bed Great Britain, here's Robot Wars...' And so forth.

I don't quite know why I felt the need to type all that.

A group of hooligans just tipped over a dustbin in Shaftsbury!

Boy, I wouldn't want to be a dustbin in Shaftsbury right now!

Of course it's worth getting PSP -- have a look at this kick-arse picture of M0ds I drew:



And then I added LESN FLAERSE!1!!



I think these pics say it all...

The great DG:

I seem to be on a little whirlpool. Now this kinda stupid girl on my class, who I used to dislike coz of her lack of sense of humor and intelligence, is together with this boy two grades below us, he is 2 and ½ years younger as me and she, I'm like 9 days older then she. Something like that... anyway, this week my instict has told me many things, which have turned out to be true. Now it tells me that these two shouldn't be thogether. It's been like a week or so... What should I do?

Go home and masturbate while thinking about the two of them happily married with children.

Or you could try the advice I gave to Jetxl -- That is a sure winner with the ladies!

to DG.
I have the charisma of a dead skunk.
Not even ugly girls wouldn't look at me twice.

I've tried to walk on my hands for one day but then people told me not to talk so much shit.

What am I to do.

Jetxl, I'm glad you came to me with this problem because it usually leads to greater self-esteem problems if not treated properly.

The problem is you are VERY UGLY.

Luckily, I have a solution that wil turn you from this:



into this:



Whoa! -- My loins are quivering from looking at that stud!

Anyway, you need to follow the following steps:

1. Get plastic surgery -- Everyone in Hollywood looks beautiful, cause they've all had plastic surgery, and that is somethint that will make you 100x better looking.

2. Get a Penis Enlargement -- Why does Ron Jeremy get so many chicks? It's not cause he's good looking (though if he followed Step 1, he'd get 2x the chicks he normally does -- and that's a lot of chicks!). It's because he has a large penis, and you can have the same if you answer one of those many e-mails in your inbox.

3. Become a SPY -- It's doesn't matter if it's Sean Connery, George Lazenby, or Pierce Brosnan, James Bond ALWAYS gets chicks cause he's a SPY -- Even if you don't want to be a REAL spy, just pretend to be a spy by drinking lots of martinis, and even if you don't score you'll still get drunk!

4. Play Sports -- Not Chess, cause people who play chess are NERDS and you don't want to be a NERD -- Play football and you'll get thousands of women climbing through your windows asking for some "good stuff" HEHEHEHEHEH (That means they want some fuck).

5. Pretend to be all caring and stuff -- One of the best lines to say to a girl is "I don't want to rush this... I want to get to know you personally first." and I promise she'll want to jump in the sack within an hour.

And after you do all the above, follow the most important step:

6. Learn cunnilingus (http://www.cunnilingustutor.com/) -- If you give the ugliest girl cunnilingus, she will spread  the TRUE rumour that you are 'Sex God El Supremo', and all other girls will want to date you. Then you can drop the ugly girl and go out with your pick: the cheerleader, the mall-girl, the latin exchange student, the girl who looks like Beyonce Knowles, the hottie in Math class, etc.

There you have it -- follow these steps and you'll become BIG MAN ON CAMPUS.

The only sacrifice is you'll be a vapid moron who'll probably flip burgers for the rest of his life (either that or a junkie) but what difference does that make when you're getting the hot stuff from the ladies every single night!  

and then someone will say "but the style!! the style man!" and i have to ask what style? during the 4 hour fight scene i can think of a few things, ultra violence [real horror show like] black and white, black and blue

Hey, what, huh, wait, err, what!!!!

That's what I said to you via PM!!!

YUO RIPPED ME OFF ERIK!!11 U WIL PAID for TH1S!!


As for Kill Bill: My only criticism, which latches onto your point, is that they shouldn't have split it -- It was a stupid decision cause (forget the Vivica scene), she does go on to star in a second movie!!

If they released the full thing, they could just make one long narrative.

However, remember this is Tarantino -- the same guy who had John Travolta alive, then dead, then alive again in Pulp Fiction.

The man is a zombie maker.

And I'm sure he's going somewhere good with this.

Keep in mind that Vivica and Lucy will be in Vol 2, even though they're dead -- Maybe he's going to play around with what happened in Vol 1 -- you never can tell.

(On a different note, Travolta's career took an opposite turn to Vincent Vega's life: dead, then alive, and really dead now)

I have only two words on Robot Wars and its future:


American... Gladiators...

Dear Dg.

I appreciate your previous advice about not killing ninjas and just cussing out little kids. It works well in theory, but I find myself unable to sleep at night when I haven't had a good full day of ninja slaying. I've tried to pacify myself by fighting football mascots, since they remind me of mutant turtle ninjas, but it just dosen't cut it.

What should I do? Do I need a new computer too?

Masturbate.

THEN UPGRADE YOUR VIDEO CARD!!!

Well, yes the slapping your kids thing is pretty barbarous, but I do use my good judgement on what is right for when I have kids, rather than immediately agree with Maddox.

As for the majority fo his article, he hits the nail on the head.

As for the anime article, I don't think he was attacking me personally because I can't find my name anywhere in that article.  

Also, I don't wear T-Shirts with Japanese symbols on them, nor do I own any T-Shirts with anime characters on it.

Nor do I fit into the 5 categories: I don't wish I was Japanese; I'm thin and my manboobs are small; I'm not a goth and my girlfriend is a cutie-pie (we don't tounge kiss in public either -- I know a lot of women who really hate that shit, cause it's like having a squid shoved down your throat); I don't consider myself a "cool nerd" (I prefer to think of myself as an arsehole anyway) as other nerds don't flock around me to hear my theories about Qui Gon Jin's beard; and I don't dress like Silent Bob or have a mullet.

I just like watching the stuff, but I'm not going to go all-out "otaku".

I just want to go into my local screenings, watch some ninja schoolgirls beat the shit out of each other for a few hours, have a few laughs, then go do something constructive.

It's not like I suddenly want to become an anime character or want to become Japanese.

But, I have met people who are REALLY fucking obsessed with anime -- To the point where they'll wear these strange cosplay-like shirty-vesty type things with a labcoat and a headband. (As an afterthought, I don't know who the hell they're trying to be -- some generic anime character???)

Now THAT'S a little extreme.

Same thing happens with furries -- There are some who go "Yeah, it might be cool to pretend to be a ninja werewolf around the house for a while! I might bite my sister and see if she goes 'MUUUUUM! Daniel bit me!' Hehehe!" and there are some who go "Yeah, I'll dress up like a ninja werewolf and walk around in public! I might also find another werewolf to hump before I piss on a fire-hydrant!"

And on that, I rest my case!

"You rest your case???"

Oh sorry... Case closed!

How come the Californians elected Arnold Schwarzenegger as their governor? Haven't they seen "The Terminator"? He is an evil robot sent back from the future to destroy humanity!

I always thought he was Danny Devito's pregnant twin come to stop Satan.

Then I realised he's not a pregnant twin or an evil robot.

He's just a shitty actor who'll make an even shittier politician.

Dear DG

Give me money.

Ho ho ho, I'm not falling for that one again!

Dear DG,

Why won't my pet smiley stop crying?   :'(

Cause your smiley needs to turn that frown UPSIDE DOWN!

N3T: Nope, never played it -- played StS1 though.

Pudding: CORRECT!!

Ghormak and Tim: LOL!

DING DING -- Remixor got it

What about my first one?

P.S. Just added a note to hide your guesses so it doesn't spoil the fun for others.

I know someone who can't tell the difference between Eminem and Justin Timberlake: what can I do to help them?

I don't think they need help just yet.

When they start stalking from office to office with an Armalite AR-180 carbine gas-operated semi-automatic, pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers, that's when you should seek help for them.

P.S. BUY A DELL!!!

Also, why can't Vin Diesel sing? (for those of you who watched the MTV Europe music awards, you'll know what I mean)

Oh, he can sing.

He just sings like a fuckknuckle.

At first I thought it was Sam n Max (the puzzle at the bungee tarpits), but the hooded guy can only mean Bobbin, Manny, or the Manhunter.

I'm stumped -- Anyone else want to try?

------

Here's another one -- very easy this one:




EDIT: I got N3T's entry after doing a little research, but I haven't played the game in N3T's entry.

How come you didn't tell us Yahtzee was finally moving in with you

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/byebye.htm

Cause it's not really all that amazing.

Really, look at it like this:

1. Yahtzee's girlfriend is here in Brisbane.

2. Yahtzee is male, thus horny like any of the cast from either Animal House or Caddyshack.

1 + 2 = Happy Yahtzee in Brisbane with girlfriend

Therefore, he's not coming to Brisbane to see my fuzzy arse, so why should I care?

...

...

* DGMacphee cries!

On a completely different note, I do plan to release my own line of books for children called 'The Adventures of Ben and Sarah'.

Here's a page:

Las:
But there's a shitload more swearing!


Sponge:
What's not to agree?

He thinks McDonalds tastes like shit, PETA is full of crybabies, teenyboppers are obnoxious, Bush is an idiot, Hollywood is full of more shit than McDonalds, and that little children aren't anything special.

Granted, it's not like discovering the West Indies, but you can't disagree with the above.  

Why not go to a bar, wait for two drunks to pick a fight, watch them pound the shit out of each other and save $8-10?