Messages

I didn't call you nothing... you guessed what you felt....

bye...

I followed your "oh-so-subtle-list" and if I were to guess the last one (5), it would complete your list.

So let me get this straight: You are calling me stupid, but you're not calling me stupid?

For a dictator, you don't make much sense!

Also, what if I guess something different, like say "5. I'm a porn star who gets all women plus an oscar nomination for my role in a porn movie"?

Does that count?

I can understand and laugh at the Anym first reply but not to your add and edit.... and also to your stupid claim to take it in a semi-serius way....


and talking about nazis...

1) nazis = following orders in a blind way
2) following orders in a blind way = stupid
3) stupid = make useless post
4) you = make useless post
5) guess.....

You dictator!

Now you're discriminating me by calling me stupid!

I feel sad that you insult my mental condition!

Hitler wanted to wipe out all people with mental conditions -- Is that what you're trying to do?

One day the workers will rise above your taunts of "Stupid!"

No, I will not "guess....." nor follow any more of your orders!

I will cast off the shackles of your oppression!

FREEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!

... get over yourself?

See!

Another order phrased as a question!

You bunch of totalitarians!

But just so am positively clear, you want me (without questioning your motives) to jump over my body.

Do you realise the impossibility of such an action?

I think the question is "Name your top5 ags-games" not "Can you name your top5 ags-games"!

But "name your top5 ags-games" isn't even a question.

It's an order.

And I'm not going to just follow any old order!

Let me tell you about another group of people that just followed orders -- THEY WERE CALLED NAZIS!!!

Fuckin Nazis!!!

You'd update your site instead of posting useless messages in a thread in which you're not interested...

thanks

What are you talking about???

It doesn't say anywhere in my post/update that I'm not interested!

In fact, I read your question and thought, "Wow! What a great question! I'm going to answer it right away!"

And so, I did!

Me too!

EDIT: And yes, I can post it in this thread!

I want to know why is it that every time I open the front door, I see a cruisermissile coming at me. If I close the door and wait, a few seconds later I hear a big BOOM, and when I open the door again, there's small fires everywhere and all nearby buildings are severly damaged. If I won't close the door, the missile will crash on my face, and the explosion tosses me agains the toilet door, and then the hall is full of little fires and the closets are severly damaged. And besides, there's something writtin in arabic or hebrew or whatever on the side of the missile...

Cause these guys can't get their shit together:

[DG's]

It wasn't a question

Read the post above mine, Then think about my answer.

This is DG's Tech Support Service!

Not Timosity's ASCII art service!

Even though it is a nice picture of a gun, it makes a poor substitute for an actual answer.

Besides, if someone should kill themselves, it should be by getting super-pissed and swallowing a frisbee!

Dearest Dg,

What should I do when I REALLY want t owrite something interesting here, but can't quite muster anything intellegent?

Then the answer is pretty simple, isn't it? -- Just don't write anything until you do muster something intelligent.

+--^----------,--------,-----,--------^-,
| ||||||||| `--------' | O
`+---------------------------^----------|
`\_,---------,---------,--------------'
/ XXXXXX /'| /'
/ XXXXXX / `\ /'
/ XXXXXX /`-------'
/ XXXXXX /
/ XXXXXX /
(________(
`------'

Read above reply.

My Dearest Madam DG Honey:

I just said to a tree today morning: "You Poo Pooster Poobungies Furking Shniz Wiz!1! No go away!1!"
I want to know: Did I hurt it? Should I confess for what I did? Would it go away like I told it to? I had to do that because it was luring me to have sex with it, am I normal? Or was I just getting illusions?

I know hippies often say the world will be a better place if we hug more trees, so maybe if you do that and play on the swings together everything will work out okay between the two of you.

On a side note, I knew this guy in high school -- rumour was he once got drunk at a party and actually started humping a tree.

It's crazy cause when I get drunk I just fight with trees.

"Cyum on, ya stoopid tree! I'll taksha on! Ya nothin but a SHURB! Come on, swing yer puny branches! I'll beat the sap out of ya!"

That'll teach that goddamn tree!

One more Q... When will you be tired of swimming?

I actually have my own Sealab below the great Australian Bight, just like Captain Murphy.

So...

If you're looking for me,
You better check under the sea,
'cause that is where you'll find me,
Underneath the sea, lab,
Underneath the water,
Sea lab, at the bottom of the sea.

We bought the CD version of this game along with our very first CD-ROM drive at a computer show!

It was a quad speed too -- Top o' the line!

And it was one with a caddy.

I killed her, yes -- But I regret nothing!

Dear DG,

Can I have Bubba's autograph?

Signed,
Neil

Only as long as he decides where to sign and with what to sign.

Dear DG,

*Ba-dum Ching!*

Yours Sincerely,
     Comedy-drum-sound

You didn't phrase this in the form of a question (This is Tech Support and thus you are supposed to ask me stuff!)

Therefore, you lose final round of Jeopardy!

Do not pass GO!

Do not collect $200!

Go directly to jail and get humped by the big, sweaty, redneck prisoner named Bubba!


BUBBA SAYS: "I GOTS ME A HANKERIN' FOR A PET PUPPY DAWG AND HIS NAME IS NELLIE! SQUEAL LIKE A PIG, LI'L NELLIE!"

I'm glad I've been able to help two soul mates find each other.

Do shitty backgrounds and be satisfied with your undergraduate work!

Thanks, man -- You took care of that masterfully!

But I just want to add something:

Just yesterday we had one of the usual hot nights and in the middle of action, she simply exploded! There's a huge hole and i don't think i'll be able to inflate her again...

You should be happy -- It's probably the only way in your entire life you'll ever get a woman to go down on you!

Want me to sacrifice anything?

Find me a virgin omlette!!!

Okay, DG, riddle me this.

Two guys are heading for the station.

One is praying for the train to be on time because if it is late he will miss a vital flight connection and surely miss seeing his dying father in another country.

The other guy is praying the train will be late.  He is racing in a traffic-bound taxi to the station, travelling to see his dying father in a hospital and if he misses the train, he will not make it.

What does God do with the train?

(I borrowed this question from Pete Townshend's website, but I want to know your take on it, great and knowledgable one :-) )

He says, "Fuck it! I gave man freewill! Let 'em sort it out themselves!"

Then he puts his feet up on his genuine leather-bound foot-rest (only the best for God) and invites Buddha and Krishna over for afternoon martinis!

I think it'd look something like this:



EDIT: As an afterthought, if the two father were good, they get to join God for martinis so it all works out -- HAPPY ENDING!!!!

EDIT No 2: Unless they were bad -- In that case, they join Satan for shandies!

You must have spyware -- Burn your computer to be on the safe side!

Dear DG,

I have this question I can't possibly answer, and I'm sure you've got an answer to it.

If God is able to do everything, can he also make a stone, that he can't pick up himself?

Yes -- He's God and he can do anything he wants.

If the old coot wants to make a stone that he can't lift up, then by all means he can do that.

AND WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION GOD, PUNY MORTAL?!?!?!

Dear Daniel:

Which part of the egg is needed for making meringue? The clear one or the yellow?

Why the hell would you want to make meringue???

Make an omlette -- they're way more fun!  

Dear Daniel: Toasts allways fall to the floor with the mermelade side.

Cats allways fall by feet.

What should happen if he attach a toast to a cat´s back?  

You get a very pissed-off cat.

Dear DG

I woke up this morning, only to find that my house had been taken over by millions of insane rabbits that laugh manically. Should I charge them rent, or kick them out because I don't allow pets? Even as I type they're plotting to take over the world. Do I consult a doctor for their megalomania?

Yours
        Anymonuse

OMG!!1! FURRY FAN!!11!

When setting the table, which side of the plate should the salad fork go?

Umm... The salad side?

Dear DeeGee,
I received a fresh info that there's gonna be a terrorist attack against our beloved American President, Mr. George W. Bush.
Now I can choose between warning the FBI, the CIA and the Secret Service to protect him or take photographs of this (future) historical moment and maybe even win some photograph contest with the pics.
Now I want an advice, based on your philosophical thoghts,  beliefs and faith...
Should I take the photographs in colour or in black & white?

Truly yours,  
-Felipe

Black and white -- they're easier to photoshop to add aliens and shit.

Dear DG,

I'm a white guy hung like a black guy. I can barely walk. what should i do?

anonymous

CRAWL LIKE THE MAGGOT YOU ARE!!!