Messages

Jesus appeared on my wall and told me to tell you to change it...

Wow. hasn't been one of these in a while...

By the way, re-sizing is for cissy's.

Oh dear...

VOICE: Hello!
YOU: Ugh?
VOICE: Hello! Hello!
YOU: Whaat?
VOICE: Hmmn, yeah. Um...Alright! We have some good news and bad news! A ha...
The good news is...You're not going to be given the letal injection. Hooray! Whoo! Uhh...The bad news is, we've impregnated your right arm with a rapidly growing alien parasite. Okay!
YOU: What...What the...
(You notice the lump in your arm)
YOU: Oh what the...This is a dream...
VOICE: Um...right. Yes. Anyway, it'll hatch in about five minutes and then we can observe how effectivly it kills you...
YOU: Where am I?!
VOICE: If you have any problems. We'll be right here on the other side of the glass. Hello!
(One of the scientists waves at you)
VOICE: Just push that button there to talk with us...
YOU: What the fuck?!
VOICE: Bye for now...

LOOK SELF
YOU: I don't know how I look...But my arm feels like it's going to explode...

LOOK LUMP
YOU: Oh...christ...that better be a massive, untreated tumor...

HIT LUMP
(You punch yourself on the arm)
VOICE: Um...Just a little bit of advice here. Um...Don't make it angry...

LOOK POSTER
YOU: "Congratulations! You have been selected as the lucky induvidual to be host to WENDY, the 4th parasitical alien being to be bred right here at Glascorp. This strange and fascinating race was originally found in the form of a a few dead cells found on the underside of Neil Armstrong's shoe from the first moonlanding. The possiblity of cloning this creature was discussed, but the government decided that introducing a possibly dangerous new lifeform into our planet might cause distress. Luckily, with the help of some corporate sponsership and the cooperation of some anonymous florida-based prisons. All we need is a controlled envioronment, a human to host the parasite and yes, a little bit of magic to make history!"
YOU: Those sick fucks...There's a photo of one of the aliens here..
(Close up of a tentacled monstrosity with nine eyes. About the size of a cat)

LOOK WRISTBAND
YOU: What the hell is this?
VOICE: Ooh! That's a little wristband just so you know how the embryo's getting along.

LOOK WRISTBAND
YOU: According to this...this thing inside me is barely developed at all...Maybe I have time to get it out...

LOOK SCIENTISTS
YOU: Twisted fucks...

TALK TO SCIENTISTS
YOU: They can't hear me througfh this glass

LOOK GLASS
YOU: It seems pretty thick

HIT GLASS
(You bash the glass)
YOU: Argh! Great...My arm's pregant AND my hand's in pain.

PUSH BUTTON
YOU: Hey!!
VOICE: Oh, hello. Do you have a problem?

YEAH, I'VE GOT A PROBLEM. MY FUCKING ARM IS PREGNANT!
VOICE: The miricle of life...
YOU: The miricle of you fucking going around fucking everything up.
VOICE: You know...I think parenthood might be good for you. Teach you a bit of responsibility, you know...
YOU: You do not have the right to do this!
VOICE: And you have no rights at all Mr.death-row. According to all the records, you're dead...and you belong to us.

YOU CAN'T JUST LET ME DIE IN HERE?
VOICE: Um...okay...Why not?
YOU: It's not fucking right! You can't throw away life! You can't play God like this!
VOICE: Now, now. No-one likes a hypocrite...

WHAT AM I GONNA USE TO FIGHT THIS THING?
VOICE: Hmmn....um...You know it IS going to kill you...
YOU: I want a weapon
VOICE: Well...I suppose we can give you this scalpel...It's only got enough juice for about four seconds of use but...well...It can cut through steel if that's any good for you.
(The scientist places the scalpel in a chute, it lands at your feet.)

SEE YA' LATER
VOICE: You'll be dead by then...

LOOK WRISTBAND
YOU: It says here that that thing's starting to absorb the minerals out my blood...

LOOK SCALPEL
YOU: Electro-scalpel...waste of fucking time if you ask me...if you wanna cut through flesh nothing can hold a candle to a good, sharp, blade...

TAKE SCALPEL
(You pick it up)

USE SCALPEL ON LUMP
(Nothing happens)
VOICE: Oh yes, I forgot to mention...If you try and use it on yourself...it won't work...
YOU: Shit!

USE SCALPEL ON GLASS
YOU: Hey bastards! I'm assuming you wanna keep this thing that's gonna jump outta me on the other side of this glass!
(You stick the scalpel in the glass. It only lasts for a few seconds, but the damage is done and the glass is shattered.)
YOU: Ha! Now you've gotta get rid of this thing!
SCIENTIST: Not really...We'll just lower the backup glass...
(He presses a button, to your horror another sheet of glass slides down in front of the scientists)
VOICE: And there's no use screaming at us like that. We can't hear you...

LOOK WRISTBAND
YOU: Shit...This thing has legs...

LOOK SCALPEL
YOU: It's useless...the power's drained...

LOOK GLASS SHARD
YOU: it looks kinda...sharp...

TAKE GLASS SHARD
(You pick it up)

USE GLASS SHARD ON LUMP
(You make a massive gash in your arm)
YOU: Argh!
(Struggling. You reach into the wound and grab the parasite. You then throw it to the ground)
YOU: Ha! Haha! I did it...
VOICE: Actually...It's probably advanced enough to do the rest of the growing by itself...

LOOK PARASITE
YOU: Ugly little bitch...

HIT PARASITE
VOICE: That's not going to do it...

USE GLASS SHARD ON PARASITE
VOICE: 'Fraid not...

TAKE PARASITE
YOU: Argh! It fucking but my finger off.
(you pick it up)

USE PARASITE ON GLASS
(You throw it against the glass. It sticks there.)
VOICE: Do you really think we'd install glass that can't hold this thing?
(The glass begins to crack...)
VOICE: Oh...
YOU: I'm guessing you never bred one of these things with a serial killer for a mommy...
(You collapse on your knees and watch as the beast breaks through the glass and slaughters your scientist friends)
YOU: That's my girl...
(You pass out)

Yes, yes this does relate to Darth Vader:

Anyone who can tell me how gets a GOLDEN BISCUIT!

Edited by Gilbert: Since lots of posts bloated up this part of the thread I'll just delete all of them, but leave the solution here (well I know nothing about this kind of thing, just copying):

Spoiler

It's related to a song by the Left Rights, called "Who Gives a Sith?".

[close]

NEXT: Anything NOT relating to musician/ comedian/ cartoon character, Brendon Small.

Greetings, mortal. Welcome to my crypt, within these walls you will find devilishly nasty things pulled straight out of your nightmares and willed into existance by Satan himself.
The theme for this fortnights comic competition is 'Horror'. Interpret that how you will...I'm off to soak my corns...
*Flash of lightning*

Whoo!

I am what you call...
'Digging' this...

Very much so...

Are they still making those?
Last time I checked they hadn't updated in forever.

My favourite episode is definately the one with the narwhal or however you spell it...

I'm pretty sure he's also a researcher on 'Friday Night with Johnathon Ross'.

FOOLISH LGM!!!
http://www.voiceacting.co.uk/
YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE MIGHTY POWAH OF THA INTERNETZ!!!

I agree. A Flash contest is too specific. Just enlarge the scope of the animation contest.

Hey...there are no bids on it yet...and only 20 hours until it ends...

Hmmmn...

HMMMMMNNNNNN...

Hmmmn?

Maybe if you submitted a trailer for your game in the Staw Wars fan film festival. Then it would magically become alright for you to make the game...

I'd vote for him...

NEXT: Something which isn't about Star Wars.

Whoo! I love quick animations. My favourite so far has been Haddas's 'Dude' animation.
I'll watch the christmas one when my brain hurts less.

Anywhoo, I do ALOT of of those kinds of animations. Most of them end up on Deviantart, I'll share a few of the top-favourited: http://eggheadcheesybird.deviantart.com/gallery/flash/?view=1&order=9&limit=24

Generally, the higher it is in popularity. The less effort I put into it...

Anyone been reading the 'Mister T' animatec series reviews at http://agonybooth.com. I can't believe the guy wrote six pages...

That bread doesn't look TERRIBLY sliced...

http://artpad.art.com/?igjlow15wjps

All my own work...

EDIT: Okay, I made this too: http://artpad.art.com/?igwrfrr3k7s

EDIT2: And this... http://artpad.art.com/?igwrvo10t460

And isn't Yahtzee working on the Orgastic four?
The world has gone mad...but mad in the way so that was better than before it was less mad.
If you get mah drift....