Wow. Someone else had the idea of Henry owning a saloon...and burning it down with alcohol. That's a weird coincidence.
Well, here's my entry if you can be bothered to read through it. I got a little...ahem...carried away. Maybe it's because I recently saw Craig Bartlett's 'Party Wagon' or maybe I just have a natural desire for action and historical inaccuracy but the idea of a cartoon cowboy adventure game seems really appealing to me at the moment...
Items:
Revolver
Hook
One match
Long rope
Short rope
Axe
Poison
Bottle o' whiskey
$3
Handkerchief (added)
Matchbook (added)
Starts with:
Bottle O' Whiskey
Handkerchief
Hook
Short Rope
OPENING CARTOON DEPICTING YOU FLIRTING WITH HENRY'S GIRL AND BEING THROWN OUT OF THE SALOON BY HENRY.
LOCATION: TOWN
"That Henry's stolen my horse!"
"That bastard had better give it back..Or I'll...I'll..."
"I'll have to walk for the rest of my awesome adventures..."
LOOK AT HENRY'S BAR
"I bet that slimy Henry's got my horse in there right now. Lord knows what he might be doing with it."
"Hey...look at the sign...'Henry's SALON'!"
ENTER HENRY'S BAR
You go into Henry's place. There's some bashing and you're chucked out.
"Bouncer..."
LOOK AT AXE
"It's wedged into the wall...it looks like someone ran out of bullets"
PICK UP AXE
"It's wedged in there real good"
LOOK AT HOOK
"Actually, there's a funny story behind how I got this, Heh, Y'see..."
"Y'see...Hee hee...I'd...Just...HAHA!"
"HA HA HA! HA HA HA!"
"What? You don't find that funny?"
USE HOOK ON AXE
It falls out and lands on your foot
"I guess I should be thankful that it was the Handle that fell on my foot..."
"But still..."
"YOWTCH!"
PICK UP AXE
"Got it..."
"Wow...Did I REALLY just stick an axe down my pants?!"
LOOK AT AXE
"It looks like it was designed to chop wood as opposed to skulls"
LOOK AT THREE DOLLARS
"The things people drop in this town...someone must have a hole in their pocket..."
PICK UP THREE DOLLARS
"Don't mind if I do..."
LOOK AT THREE DOLLARS
"I can imagine an infinite amount of stuff to do with this...ALL involving some form of alcoholic beverage"
LOOK AT BOOK OF MATCHES
"Looks like someone's dropped a book of matches on the ground. Don't they know how much that harms the Ozone layer..."
"..."
"Wait a minute...What's an Ozone layer?!"
PICK UP BOOK OF MATCHES
"Got it"
LOOK AT BOOK OF MATCHES
"Greetings from Henry's Salon"
"Home of the world famous FIRE WHISKEY!"
OPEN BOOK OF MATCHES
"There's only one match left"
USE MATCH ON HENRY'S BAR
"I don't think burning this place down would be a good idea...at least...Not from the outside"
TALK TO HENRY'S BAR
You: "HENRY! Get the hell out here!"
Voice: "Mr. Henry is not here, and he's not coming out neither!"
You: "Interesting..."
AGAIN
<DIALOG>
You: "HEY!"
Voice: "What?"
WHERE HAS 'MR. HENRY' GONE?
Voice: "..."
You: "Well?"
Voice: "Uh...I dunno...I'll ask him..."
WHO ARE YOU EXACTLY?
Voice: "I am an an-tag-o-nist
You: "Yeah...but what's your reason for being so...antagonising all the time?
Voice: "Well...I had a rough childhood..."
Voice: "I was raised by buffalo's on account of my parents abandoning me when I was a little boy"
(The dialog stops, he continues to say silly things in random order in the background. and doesn't stop until you talk to the bar again or try to get in)
"Then there was that time I was trapped in a burning outhouse. I've been scared of fire ever since"
"And, recently, I fell down into the cellar of this place and broke my little pinkie finger"
"And I sometimes wake up a cold sweat remembering the time I upset Ms. Marysallyannelou and she...I can't talk about it"
"Buffalo's sure are stinky..."
"The fire...fire everywhere! ARRRGHHH!!"
"Did you know you're the first person to ever show me friendship..."
"*thumb sucking*"
SO...WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HENRY'S GIRL?
Voice: "I think, sir. If you know what's good for you..."
Voice: "You'll stay away from Miss Marysallyannelou..."
HENRY! GET OUT HERE YOU YELLOW BASTARD!
You: "I know you stole my horse!!"
You: "Just because Marysallyannelou prefers me is no need for this!"
Voice: "Mr. Henry is not here!"
You: "So you keep saying..."
SO...DO YOU ENJOY YOUR JOB?
Voice: "It's okay. The pay ain't bad and it's fun to hit people in the ear"
Voice: "But I always had my mind set on higher things than this..."
You: "Higher than hitting people in the ear? Is that possible?"
Voice: "I always wanted to be...a LUMBERJACK!"
You: "Why do I have an urge to rip out your teeth when you say that?"
Voice: "I dunno. But I don't recommend you try..."
(The next dialog option is activated only once this has finished)
YOU KNOW...I COULD HELP YOU BECOME A LUMBERJACK...
Voice: "Really?"
You: "Sure. Just come out here. I'll help you realise your dreams if you help me realise mine."
Voice: "And what are your dreams?"
You: "To get in there and get my horse back."
Voice: "Hey! you must think I'm stupid or summat!"
You: "What's 2+2?"
Voice: "Cheddar!"
(The next dialog option is activated only once this has finished)
LOOK, WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO GET YOU OUT HERE?
Voice: "I dunno. There's very little that can persuade me to move..."
<IF YOU HAVE THE THREE DOLLARS>
You: "How about three dollars?"
Voice: "No..."
</IF>
WELL, I NEED TO GO.
You: "I've got people to see"
You: "Horses to rescue..."
You: "Scores to settle..."
</DIALOG>
LOOK AT HANKERCHIEF
"If you're hankering for a chief...this won't help much. But if you have a cold..."
LOOK AT BOTTLE O' WHISKY
"A bottle of Grog...I mean...Whiskey..."
USE MATCH ON BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"I value my eyebrows too much"
USE HANKERCHIEF WITH BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"Okay, I've put the handkerchief in the neck of the bottle"
LOOK AT BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"I can't explain it...but it looks kind of...menacing with that handkerchief in it."
USE MATCH ON BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"Okay, I've set my unique, one of a kind, silk handkerchief alight. Happy now?"
LOOK AT BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"Something tells me I should get rid of this pretty quickly..."
USE BOTTLE O' WHISKEY ON HENRY'S BAR
"I just hope my horse isn't in that room!"
You throw your whiskey bomb into the bar, the windows light up and a huge guy runs out (characters don't count as objects right?) screaming
Man: "FIRE! FIRE!"
You: "Howdy."
Man: "Help me! There's a fire!"
You: "Don't worry, you're safe now."
Man: "Really?"
You: "Yes, mean old Mr.Fire can't get you out here."
Man: "What about Marysallyannelou?"
You: "Henry's girl? What about her?"
Man: "Nuthin'"
LOOK AT MAN
"Aww. He doesn't look so tough..."
"He looks lethal!"
TALK TO MAN/ ENTER HENRY'S BAR
You: "So, since this place doesn't look like it's gonna last much longer. How about quitting this dead end job and letting me through?"
Man: "Oh no. I've been standing around here hitting people in the ear since 1830."
Man: "I'm not giving this job up for nothing or nobody!"
Man: "Or...if something better comes along..."
GIVE AXE TO MAN
You: "Hey, I hope you like buttered scones! 'Cos I've got a surprise for you!"
You give him the axe, he squeals with joy!
Man: "Wow! An axe! And it looks even better than the one I was keeping in that wall for safe keeping!"
Man: "Now I can follow my dreams of being a lumberjack!"
You: "Yay!"
Man: "Yay!"
You: "Yay!"
Man: "Yay!"
You: "So...are you going to let me in?"
Man: "No."
LOOK AT MAN
"That bastard!"
TALK TO MAN/ ENTER HENRY'S BAR
You: "Alright...now what?"
Man: "How do I make a living from being a lumberjack..."
You: "You know I've often wondered that myself..."
You: "Um...I mean. You get commissioned!"
Man: "Commissioned...by who?"
You: "The...um...Society of...uh...Happily...Er...Uhhh...Irritating(?)...Trees...."
You: "S.H.I.T for short!"
Man: "I think life may be too short for that..."
You: "You know...you're a lot smarter than you look..."
Man: "Cheddar!"
GIVE THREE DOLLARS TO MAN
You: "Alright. I'll give you three dollars to go cut down some trees and crap..."
Man: "Yay!"
You: "Yay!"
Man: "Yay!"
You: "Just go!"
Man: "Will do, thanks for helping me achieve my fondest dream."
You: "Yeah yeah"
You start to head over to Henry's Bar
Man: "Aren't you going to come and watch?
You: "No...As much as I'd love to. I've gotta go see a man about a horse!"
You enter Henry's Bar
Man: "It's not the man you need to worry about..."
LOCATION: INSIDE HENRY'S BAR
The room is partially obscured by smoke
"Whew...This fire wasn't one of my better ideas..."
"I'd better find some way to put it out before I suffocate or burn or just get really, really hot..."
LOOK AT HENRY'S BBQ'D BAR
"Whew...I hope Henry's insurance covers this..."
"Actually...I don't! Bwaha!"
LOOK AT ENTRANCE TO CELLAR
Voice: "Neigh!"
You: "I'd know that 'neigh' anywhere! That's my horse!"
ENTER CELLAR
"Flames are surrounding it!"
"I need to stay away from that trapdoor!"
LOOK AT POISON
"It's a bottle sitting the bar."
"Strangely enough it's the only thing the flames aren't anywhere near..."
PICK UP POISON
"Got it."
"It's surprisingly cold to the touch considering all this heat..."
LOOK AT POISON
"There's an oh-so-subtle skull design on this bottle..."
"When they say 'What's your poison' here they're not kidding..."
USE POISON ON ENTRANCE TO CELLAR
You pour the contents of the bottle over the flames
"Hmmn. The flames just vanished. My guess is that this poison uses some form of insulated dry ice that freezes the body of the victim from within and therefore can put out even the hottest and fiercest of whiskey fuelled flames..."
"It sure does pay to be educated..."
"...Most probably..."
ENTER CELLAR
"I'm coming for you, Goldie!"
LOCATION: CELLAR
You see Henry tied to a pole with a long rope...along with your horse
You: "Goldie!"
Goldie: "Neigh!"
You: "Henry..."
You walk all the way down the steps
You: "What happened here, Goldie?"
Goldie: "Neigh!"
You: "Henry had nothing to do with this?"
Goldie: "Neigh!"
You: "I'm in danger?!"
Marysallyannelou is coming up behind you with a revolver
Goldie: "Neigh!"
You: "I'm about to be shot by a...giant bratwurst?"
Goldie: "NEIGH!!"
You: "Gesticulating toothpick?"
Goldie: "NEIGH!!"
Marysallyannelou: "You're going to be shot by Marysallyannelou!"
You: "Ah...that explains a bit."
<DIALOG>
Marysallyannelou: Any last requests?
WELL I'D LIKE LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON...
Marysallyannelou: "Oh, it's quite simple. Henry's been a pawn in my plot for some time now."
Marysallyannelou: "This bar is world famous for it's incredible 'fire whiskey'
Marysallyannelou: "Business people from all over have come to try and get their greasy hands on that recipe."
Marysallyannelou: "But NO. Rather than actually make some money, Mr.Morals here keeps the family secret safe and turns down all them rich entrepreneurs in favour of making more tiny little profits in this damn...HOLE!"
Henry: "Mmmmrph rrhhmph"
You: "I didn't know he was gagged..."
Marysallyannelou: "He doesn't. he just sounds like that. Tight-lipped."
Marysallyannelou: "Any way. In the event of his death. I get the recipe in his will and then I can sell it on to the highest bidder!"
Marysallyannelou: "And your horse was the perfect bait for an idiot who can take the fall for the death of Henry Henryson the ninth..."
You: "Who's that then?"
Marysallyannelou: "You! you're the idiot, idiot! You kill him to get your horse back then kill yourself out of guilt!"
You: "Why didn't you just poison him?"
Marysallyannelou: "I thought this might be more fun..."
You: "Fair enough..."
(The next dialog option is activated only once this has finished)
YOU'RE QUITE AN ENTERPRISING GIRL
Marysallyannelou: "SHUT UP!"
You: "Alright...Jeez, can't you take a compliment?"
Marysallyannelou: "Don't ever call me 'girl'. I'm nobody's girl! Understand!"
(The next dialog option is activated only once this has finished)
I'M NOT SURPRISED WITH AN ATTITUDE LIKE THAT...
Marysallyannelou: "I think I will kill you now!"
You: "I love it when you talk homicidal..."
Marysallyannelou: "Silence!"
Marysallyannelou: "Any last requests?"
WELL I'D LIKE TO *WHISPER WHISPER*
Marysallyannelou: "Any OTHER last requests?"
You: "Meh, can't blame a guy for trying..."
WELL I'D QUITE LIKE TO HAVE ONE LAST DRINK
Marysallyannelou: "You burned down our bar..."
You: "Oh yeah, I remember now..."
You: "That was fun..."
Marysallyannelou: "Any last requests?"
WELL...I'D LIKE A CHANCE TO LIVE...PREFERABLY SOMETHING INVOLVING PISTOLS
Marysallyannelou: "Fair enough."
Marysallyannelou: "I guess you've got the right to that."
</DIALOG>
Marysallyannelou walks to the far side of the room
Marysallyannelou: "On the count of three, I'll turn round and if you can shoot the gun out of my hand before I shoot you with deadly accuracy...You and your horse can go..."
You: "Um...That's great but I...uh..don't have a g-"
Marysallyannelou: "3!"
You: "Ahhh!!"
Marysallyannelou: "2!"
You: "Hey, why count down from three when you can count down from three THOUSAND?"
Marysallyannelou: "Well okay, I don't see how it's it gonna make much difference though..."
And thanks the magic of Ints, she does. If she reaches '2' then you say "How about counting down from three thousand again...just for kicks!"
LOOK AT MARYSALLYANNELOU
"She's really pretty when she's psychotic..."
TALK TO MARYSALLYANNELOU
You: "How's it going over there?
Marysallyannelou: "Ack! You made lose my count..."
You: "Oh well, start again. I don't mind..."
LOOK AT GOLDIE
"It's my horse! Tied up with that bit of rope!"
LOOK AT HENRY
"I guess he wasn't so bad after all..."
"..."
"Still a bastard though..."
TALK TO GOLDIE
You: "All in favour of me trying to seduce her say 'aye!'"
Goldie: "Neigh!"
TALK TO HENRY
Henry: "Mrrph grrmph"
You: "You and me both!"
LOOK AT SHORT ROPE
"It was a lot longer before...The incident..."
"Last time I ever try to lasso a porcupine..."
LOOK AT REVOLVER
"The instrument of my death..."
PICK UP REVOLVER
You: "I can't just walk up and take it off her."
Marysallyannelou: "Damn right you can't!"
Marysallyannelou: "Aw, Jeez! You made me lose my count..."
USE SHORT ROPE ON REVOLVER
You: "It's too short..."
You: "I wanna be a safe distance away before I pull something like that..."
Marysallyannelou: "What ARE you talking about?"
Marysallyannelou: "Aw, Jeez! You made me lose my count..."
LOOK AT LONG ROPE
"That's a...long piece o' rope..."
PICK UP LONG ROPE
"It's tied to that pole and I can't find where it ends"
USE HOOK ON LONG ROPE
You struggle with the rope and manage to pull a bit off
LOOK AT LONG ROPE
"Well, I may not have been able to untie my horse..."
"But I did get a mighty nice bit of rope out of the deal..."
USE LONG ROPE ON REVOLVER
You lasso the revolver and point it at Marysallyannelou
You: "Ah ha! The tables have turned! The gun is mine!"
You: "I bet you feel pretty dumb right now don't ya!"
You: "Yeah...I bet you regret ever messing with me!"
You: "I bet...I bet..."
You lower the gun
You: "You don't look too worried..."
Marysallyannelou: "I was just admiring your skill with a lasso.."
You: "Well...I..."
Marysallyannelou walks up to you and stands very close
Marysallyannelou: "Tell me...Can you do anything else with a rope?"
The revolver goes off in your hand, making a hole in the floor
You: "Geehh..Fleeurrgghh..."
Suddenly Marysallyannelou grabs the revolver and points it at you
Marysallyannelou: "You idiot! For that you die RIGHT NOW!"
The huge guy crashes through the ceiling, landing on Marysallyannelou
You: "It's...um...whatever your name is...lumberjack boy..."
You: "I knew you'd come back!"
Man: "Really?"
You: "Actually I'd forgotten all about you..."
You: "But I'm still really grateful..."
The huge guy breaks the pole it was a stick of rock, freeing Goldie and Henry
Man: "You see, I've decided to stand up for myself and rebel! From now on I'm not taking orders from nobody!"
You: "That's beautiful but...Err...I think that pole was HOLDING UP THE WHOLE DAMN PLACE!"
The place is shaking You, Lumberjack boy and Henry all jump on Goldie, who buckles under the weight
You: "Hi ho! Goldie!"
Marysallyannelou: "Wait! You can't escape! I was so close! So close!
Goldie tramples Marysallyannelou on his way to the stairs which he gallops up.
LOCATION: IN TOWN
Henry's Bar collapses
You: "Well, so much for Henry's world famous 'salon'..."
Henry: "*cough cough*
You: "It speaks!"
Henry: "Not at all, dear boy. So long as I still know the recipe for the fire whiskey Henry's Salon will never die..."
Henry: "Y'see, when I was just a little boy...My daddy sat me down an' said..."
Henry: "Son, I want you to listen to me an' listen good..."
You: "No-one cares, old man! No-one cares!"
Man: "Is Miss. Marysallyannelou...dead?"
You: "It's doubtful..."
You: "That would leave too few sequel opportunities..."
Man: "What?"
You: "I mean...That girl's smart. She'd figure a way to drag her mangled body to safety"
You: "Speaking of mangled bodies. I need to be back on my adventures!"
You: "But I must admit, this has been a pretty great start to them."
You: "I rescued my horse, uncovered a conspiracy. Hell, I even got the girl...sort of."
You: "And now...I'm off!"
Man: "I'm coming with you!"
You: "A faithful lumberjack companion...I like it."
You: "So what's your name?"
Man: "Sniffles. Stanley Sniffles. What's yours?"
You: "Just call me...The Cowboy..."
You ride off into the sunset
Henry: "Good bye, Cowboy. And God Bless"
THE END
I ran this through the word count. It's nearly three thousand words. That's nuts, why is it that when I try to write an essay for school I come withy half a page of large font, but when I'm writing an entry for non-competetive little activety about coming up with random game puzzles I write nine pages of material.
Well, here's my entry if you can be bothered to read through it. I got a little...ahem...carried away. Maybe it's because I recently saw Craig Bartlett's 'Party Wagon' or maybe I just have a natural desire for action and historical inaccuracy but the idea of a cartoon cowboy adventure game seems really appealing to me at the moment...
Items:
Revolver
Hook
One match
Long rope
Short rope
Axe
Poison
Bottle o' whiskey
$3
Handkerchief (added)
Matchbook (added)
Starts with:
Bottle O' Whiskey
Handkerchief
Hook
Short Rope
OPENING CARTOON DEPICTING YOU FLIRTING WITH HENRY'S GIRL AND BEING THROWN OUT OF THE SALOON BY HENRY.
LOCATION: TOWN
"That Henry's stolen my horse!"
"That bastard had better give it back..Or I'll...I'll..."
"I'll have to walk for the rest of my awesome adventures..."
LOOK AT HENRY'S BAR
"I bet that slimy Henry's got my horse in there right now. Lord knows what he might be doing with it."
"Hey...look at the sign...'Henry's SALON'!"
ENTER HENRY'S BAR
You go into Henry's place. There's some bashing and you're chucked out.
"Bouncer..."
LOOK AT AXE
"It's wedged into the wall...it looks like someone ran out of bullets"
PICK UP AXE
"It's wedged in there real good"
LOOK AT HOOK
"Actually, there's a funny story behind how I got this, Heh, Y'see..."
"Y'see...Hee hee...I'd...Just...HAHA!"
"HA HA HA! HA HA HA!"
"What? You don't find that funny?"
USE HOOK ON AXE
It falls out and lands on your foot
"I guess I should be thankful that it was the Handle that fell on my foot..."
"But still..."
"YOWTCH!"
PICK UP AXE
"Got it..."
"Wow...Did I REALLY just stick an axe down my pants?!"
LOOK AT AXE
"It looks like it was designed to chop wood as opposed to skulls"
LOOK AT THREE DOLLARS
"The things people drop in this town...someone must have a hole in their pocket..."
PICK UP THREE DOLLARS
"Don't mind if I do..."
LOOK AT THREE DOLLARS
"I can imagine an infinite amount of stuff to do with this...ALL involving some form of alcoholic beverage"
LOOK AT BOOK OF MATCHES
"Looks like someone's dropped a book of matches on the ground. Don't they know how much that harms the Ozone layer..."
"..."
"Wait a minute...What's an Ozone layer?!"
PICK UP BOOK OF MATCHES
"Got it"
LOOK AT BOOK OF MATCHES
"Greetings from Henry's Salon"
"Home of the world famous FIRE WHISKEY!"
OPEN BOOK OF MATCHES
"There's only one match left"
USE MATCH ON HENRY'S BAR
"I don't think burning this place down would be a good idea...at least...Not from the outside"
TALK TO HENRY'S BAR
You: "HENRY! Get the hell out here!"
Voice: "Mr. Henry is not here, and he's not coming out neither!"
You: "Interesting..."
AGAIN
<DIALOG>
You: "HEY!"
Voice: "What?"
WHERE HAS 'MR. HENRY' GONE?
Voice: "..."
You: "Well?"
Voice: "Uh...I dunno...I'll ask him..."
WHO ARE YOU EXACTLY?
Voice: "I am an an-tag-o-nist
You: "Yeah...but what's your reason for being so...antagonising all the time?
Voice: "Well...I had a rough childhood..."
Voice: "I was raised by buffalo's on account of my parents abandoning me when I was a little boy"
(The dialog stops, he continues to say silly things in random order in the background. and doesn't stop until you talk to the bar again or try to get in)
"Then there was that time I was trapped in a burning outhouse. I've been scared of fire ever since"
"And, recently, I fell down into the cellar of this place and broke my little pinkie finger"
"And I sometimes wake up a cold sweat remembering the time I upset Ms. Marysallyannelou and she...I can't talk about it"
"Buffalo's sure are stinky..."
"The fire...fire everywhere! ARRRGHHH!!"
"Did you know you're the first person to ever show me friendship..."
"*thumb sucking*"
SO...WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HENRY'S GIRL?
Voice: "I think, sir. If you know what's good for you..."
Voice: "You'll stay away from Miss Marysallyannelou..."
HENRY! GET OUT HERE YOU YELLOW BASTARD!
You: "I know you stole my horse!!"
You: "Just because Marysallyannelou prefers me is no need for this!"
Voice: "Mr. Henry is not here!"
You: "So you keep saying..."
SO...DO YOU ENJOY YOUR JOB?
Voice: "It's okay. The pay ain't bad and it's fun to hit people in the ear"
Voice: "But I always had my mind set on higher things than this..."
You: "Higher than hitting people in the ear? Is that possible?"
Voice: "I always wanted to be...a LUMBERJACK!"
You: "Why do I have an urge to rip out your teeth when you say that?"
Voice: "I dunno. But I don't recommend you try..."
(The next dialog option is activated only once this has finished)
YOU KNOW...I COULD HELP YOU BECOME A LUMBERJACK...
Voice: "Really?"
You: "Sure. Just come out here. I'll help you realise your dreams if you help me realise mine."
Voice: "And what are your dreams?"
You: "To get in there and get my horse back."
Voice: "Hey! you must think I'm stupid or summat!"
You: "What's 2+2?"
Voice: "Cheddar!"
(The next dialog option is activated only once this has finished)
LOOK, WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO GET YOU OUT HERE?
Voice: "I dunno. There's very little that can persuade me to move..."
<IF YOU HAVE THE THREE DOLLARS>
You: "How about three dollars?"
Voice: "No..."
</IF>
WELL, I NEED TO GO.
You: "I've got people to see"
You: "Horses to rescue..."
You: "Scores to settle..."
</DIALOG>
LOOK AT HANKERCHIEF
"If you're hankering for a chief...this won't help much. But if you have a cold..."
LOOK AT BOTTLE O' WHISKY
"A bottle of Grog...I mean...Whiskey..."
USE MATCH ON BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"I value my eyebrows too much"
USE HANKERCHIEF WITH BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"Okay, I've put the handkerchief in the neck of the bottle"
LOOK AT BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"I can't explain it...but it looks kind of...menacing with that handkerchief in it."
USE MATCH ON BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"Okay, I've set my unique, one of a kind, silk handkerchief alight. Happy now?"
LOOK AT BOTTLE O' WHISKEY
"Something tells me I should get rid of this pretty quickly..."
USE BOTTLE O' WHISKEY ON HENRY'S BAR
"I just hope my horse isn't in that room!"
You throw your whiskey bomb into the bar, the windows light up and a huge guy runs out (characters don't count as objects right?) screaming
Man: "FIRE! FIRE!"
You: "Howdy."
Man: "Help me! There's a fire!"
You: "Don't worry, you're safe now."
Man: "Really?"
You: "Yes, mean old Mr.Fire can't get you out here."
Man: "What about Marysallyannelou?"
You: "Henry's girl? What about her?"
Man: "Nuthin'"
LOOK AT MAN
"Aww. He doesn't look so tough..."
"He looks lethal!"
TALK TO MAN/ ENTER HENRY'S BAR
You: "So, since this place doesn't look like it's gonna last much longer. How about quitting this dead end job and letting me through?"
Man: "Oh no. I've been standing around here hitting people in the ear since 1830."
Man: "I'm not giving this job up for nothing or nobody!"
Man: "Or...if something better comes along..."
GIVE AXE TO MAN
You: "Hey, I hope you like buttered scones! 'Cos I've got a surprise for you!"
You give him the axe, he squeals with joy!
Man: "Wow! An axe! And it looks even better than the one I was keeping in that wall for safe keeping!"
Man: "Now I can follow my dreams of being a lumberjack!"
You: "Yay!"
Man: "Yay!"
You: "Yay!"
Man: "Yay!"
You: "So...are you going to let me in?"
Man: "No."
LOOK AT MAN
"That bastard!"
TALK TO MAN/ ENTER HENRY'S BAR
You: "Alright...now what?"
Man: "How do I make a living from being a lumberjack..."
You: "You know I've often wondered that myself..."
You: "Um...I mean. You get commissioned!"
Man: "Commissioned...by who?"
You: "The...um...Society of...uh...Happily...Er...Uhhh...Irritating(?)...Trees...."
You: "S.H.I.T for short!"
Man: "I think life may be too short for that..."
You: "You know...you're a lot smarter than you look..."
Man: "Cheddar!"
GIVE THREE DOLLARS TO MAN
You: "Alright. I'll give you three dollars to go cut down some trees and crap..."
Man: "Yay!"
You: "Yay!"
Man: "Yay!"
You: "Just go!"
Man: "Will do, thanks for helping me achieve my fondest dream."
You: "Yeah yeah"
You start to head over to Henry's Bar
Man: "Aren't you going to come and watch?
You: "No...As much as I'd love to. I've gotta go see a man about a horse!"
You enter Henry's Bar
Man: "It's not the man you need to worry about..."
LOCATION: INSIDE HENRY'S BAR
The room is partially obscured by smoke
"Whew...This fire wasn't one of my better ideas..."
"I'd better find some way to put it out before I suffocate or burn or just get really, really hot..."
LOOK AT HENRY'S BBQ'D BAR
"Whew...I hope Henry's insurance covers this..."
"Actually...I don't! Bwaha!"
LOOK AT ENTRANCE TO CELLAR
Voice: "Neigh!"
You: "I'd know that 'neigh' anywhere! That's my horse!"
ENTER CELLAR
"Flames are surrounding it!"
"I need to stay away from that trapdoor!"
LOOK AT POISON
"It's a bottle sitting the bar."
"Strangely enough it's the only thing the flames aren't anywhere near..."
PICK UP POISON
"Got it."
"It's surprisingly cold to the touch considering all this heat..."
LOOK AT POISON
"There's an oh-so-subtle skull design on this bottle..."
"When they say 'What's your poison' here they're not kidding..."
USE POISON ON ENTRANCE TO CELLAR
You pour the contents of the bottle over the flames
"Hmmn. The flames just vanished. My guess is that this poison uses some form of insulated dry ice that freezes the body of the victim from within and therefore can put out even the hottest and fiercest of whiskey fuelled flames..."
"It sure does pay to be educated..."
"...Most probably..."
ENTER CELLAR
"I'm coming for you, Goldie!"
LOCATION: CELLAR
You see Henry tied to a pole with a long rope...along with your horse
You: "Goldie!"
Goldie: "Neigh!"
You: "Henry..."
You walk all the way down the steps
You: "What happened here, Goldie?"
Goldie: "Neigh!"
You: "Henry had nothing to do with this?"
Goldie: "Neigh!"
You: "I'm in danger?!"
Marysallyannelou is coming up behind you with a revolver
Goldie: "Neigh!"
You: "I'm about to be shot by a...giant bratwurst?"
Goldie: "NEIGH!!"
You: "Gesticulating toothpick?"
Goldie: "NEIGH!!"
Marysallyannelou: "You're going to be shot by Marysallyannelou!"
You: "Ah...that explains a bit."
<DIALOG>
Marysallyannelou: Any last requests?
WELL I'D LIKE LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON...
Marysallyannelou: "Oh, it's quite simple. Henry's been a pawn in my plot for some time now."
Marysallyannelou: "This bar is world famous for it's incredible 'fire whiskey'
Marysallyannelou: "Business people from all over have come to try and get their greasy hands on that recipe."
Marysallyannelou: "But NO. Rather than actually make some money, Mr.Morals here keeps the family secret safe and turns down all them rich entrepreneurs in favour of making more tiny little profits in this damn...HOLE!"
Henry: "Mmmmrph rrhhmph"
You: "I didn't know he was gagged..."
Marysallyannelou: "He doesn't. he just sounds like that. Tight-lipped."
Marysallyannelou: "Any way. In the event of his death. I get the recipe in his will and then I can sell it on to the highest bidder!"
Marysallyannelou: "And your horse was the perfect bait for an idiot who can take the fall for the death of Henry Henryson the ninth..."
You: "Who's that then?"
Marysallyannelou: "You! you're the idiot, idiot! You kill him to get your horse back then kill yourself out of guilt!"
You: "Why didn't you just poison him?"
Marysallyannelou: "I thought this might be more fun..."
You: "Fair enough..."
(The next dialog option is activated only once this has finished)
YOU'RE QUITE AN ENTERPRISING GIRL
Marysallyannelou: "SHUT UP!"
You: "Alright...Jeez, can't you take a compliment?"
Marysallyannelou: "Don't ever call me 'girl'. I'm nobody's girl! Understand!"
(The next dialog option is activated only once this has finished)
I'M NOT SURPRISED WITH AN ATTITUDE LIKE THAT...
Marysallyannelou: "I think I will kill you now!"
You: "I love it when you talk homicidal..."
Marysallyannelou: "Silence!"
Marysallyannelou: "Any last requests?"
WELL I'D LIKE TO *WHISPER WHISPER*
Marysallyannelou: "Any OTHER last requests?"
You: "Meh, can't blame a guy for trying..."
WELL I'D QUITE LIKE TO HAVE ONE LAST DRINK
Marysallyannelou: "You burned down our bar..."
You: "Oh yeah, I remember now..."
You: "That was fun..."
Marysallyannelou: "Any last requests?"
WELL...I'D LIKE A CHANCE TO LIVE...PREFERABLY SOMETHING INVOLVING PISTOLS
Marysallyannelou: "Fair enough."
Marysallyannelou: "I guess you've got the right to that."
</DIALOG>
Marysallyannelou walks to the far side of the room
Marysallyannelou: "On the count of three, I'll turn round and if you can shoot the gun out of my hand before I shoot you with deadly accuracy...You and your horse can go..."
You: "Um...That's great but I...uh..don't have a g-"
Marysallyannelou: "3!"
You: "Ahhh!!"
Marysallyannelou: "2!"
You: "Hey, why count down from three when you can count down from three THOUSAND?"
Marysallyannelou: "Well okay, I don't see how it's it gonna make much difference though..."
And thanks the magic of Ints, she does. If she reaches '2' then you say "How about counting down from three thousand again...just for kicks!"
LOOK AT MARYSALLYANNELOU
"She's really pretty when she's psychotic..."
TALK TO MARYSALLYANNELOU
You: "How's it going over there?
Marysallyannelou: "Ack! You made lose my count..."
You: "Oh well, start again. I don't mind..."
LOOK AT GOLDIE
"It's my horse! Tied up with that bit of rope!"
LOOK AT HENRY
"I guess he wasn't so bad after all..."
"..."
"Still a bastard though..."
TALK TO GOLDIE
You: "All in favour of me trying to seduce her say 'aye!'"
Goldie: "Neigh!"
TALK TO HENRY
Henry: "Mrrph grrmph"
You: "You and me both!"
LOOK AT SHORT ROPE
"It was a lot longer before...The incident..."
"Last time I ever try to lasso a porcupine..."
LOOK AT REVOLVER
"The instrument of my death..."
PICK UP REVOLVER
You: "I can't just walk up and take it off her."
Marysallyannelou: "Damn right you can't!"
Marysallyannelou: "Aw, Jeez! You made me lose my count..."
USE SHORT ROPE ON REVOLVER
You: "It's too short..."
You: "I wanna be a safe distance away before I pull something like that..."
Marysallyannelou: "What ARE you talking about?"
Marysallyannelou: "Aw, Jeez! You made me lose my count..."
LOOK AT LONG ROPE
"That's a...long piece o' rope..."
PICK UP LONG ROPE
"It's tied to that pole and I can't find where it ends"
USE HOOK ON LONG ROPE
You struggle with the rope and manage to pull a bit off
LOOK AT LONG ROPE
"Well, I may not have been able to untie my horse..."
"But I did get a mighty nice bit of rope out of the deal..."
USE LONG ROPE ON REVOLVER
You lasso the revolver and point it at Marysallyannelou
You: "Ah ha! The tables have turned! The gun is mine!"
You: "I bet you feel pretty dumb right now don't ya!"
You: "Yeah...I bet you regret ever messing with me!"
You: "I bet...I bet..."
You lower the gun
You: "You don't look too worried..."
Marysallyannelou: "I was just admiring your skill with a lasso.."
You: "Well...I..."
Marysallyannelou walks up to you and stands very close
Marysallyannelou: "Tell me...Can you do anything else with a rope?"
The revolver goes off in your hand, making a hole in the floor
You: "Geehh..Fleeurrgghh..."
Suddenly Marysallyannelou grabs the revolver and points it at you
Marysallyannelou: "You idiot! For that you die RIGHT NOW!"
The huge guy crashes through the ceiling, landing on Marysallyannelou
You: "It's...um...whatever your name is...lumberjack boy..."
You: "I knew you'd come back!"
Man: "Really?"
You: "Actually I'd forgotten all about you..."
You: "But I'm still really grateful..."
The huge guy breaks the pole it was a stick of rock, freeing Goldie and Henry
Man: "You see, I've decided to stand up for myself and rebel! From now on I'm not taking orders from nobody!"
You: "That's beautiful but...Err...I think that pole was HOLDING UP THE WHOLE DAMN PLACE!"
The place is shaking You, Lumberjack boy and Henry all jump on Goldie, who buckles under the weight
You: "Hi ho! Goldie!"
Marysallyannelou: "Wait! You can't escape! I was so close! So close!
Goldie tramples Marysallyannelou on his way to the stairs which he gallops up.
LOCATION: IN TOWN
Henry's Bar collapses
You: "Well, so much for Henry's world famous 'salon'..."
Henry: "*cough cough*
You: "It speaks!"
Henry: "Not at all, dear boy. So long as I still know the recipe for the fire whiskey Henry's Salon will never die..."
Henry: "Y'see, when I was just a little boy...My daddy sat me down an' said..."
Henry: "Son, I want you to listen to me an' listen good..."
You: "No-one cares, old man! No-one cares!"
Man: "Is Miss. Marysallyannelou...dead?"
You: "It's doubtful..."
You: "That would leave too few sequel opportunities..."
Man: "What?"
You: "I mean...That girl's smart. She'd figure a way to drag her mangled body to safety"
You: "Speaking of mangled bodies. I need to be back on my adventures!"
You: "But I must admit, this has been a pretty great start to them."
You: "I rescued my horse, uncovered a conspiracy. Hell, I even got the girl...sort of."
You: "And now...I'm off!"
Man: "I'm coming with you!"
You: "A faithful lumberjack companion...I like it."
You: "So what's your name?"
Man: "Sniffles. Stanley Sniffles. What's yours?"
You: "Just call me...The Cowboy..."
You ride off into the sunset
Henry: "Good bye, Cowboy. And God Bless"
THE END
I ran this through the word count. It's nearly three thousand words. That's nuts, why is it that when I try to write an essay for school I come withy half a page of large font, but when I'm writing an entry for non-competetive little activety about coming up with random game puzzles I write nine pages of material.