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[YES]

Closure: YES, but more regarding JudasFM than Stupot. I'd really like to read more, preferably as the actual story and not a summary, but I take what I can get.

Setting: JudasFM - This one was surprisingly difficult. As a matter of fact, I immediatly liked Judas's setting, but I did remember her other story and the world both theses stories are set in, so I had to sort in my head if it was actually something in this story that I liked or the things I remembered. We certainly don't get a lot here. Descriptions are scarce, the story is cut short (not to mention, therefore, shorter than the other entries) but we recieve hints of a larger world inhabited by diverse characters with different motivations, problems, and lifestyles. So, there are hints that there is more, even though we don't get to see it (yet).

Yeah, I shouldn't have entered with so little time left My mistake. If you (or indeed anyone) wants to read the rest as a story, I'd be happy to do it but probably via PM as I don't know how long I'd have before this thread becomes locked, and it's probably not a good idea for me to start a separate thread just for my own stories

[YES]

I'm happy with the story but not with the fact that I wasn't able to finish it in time and I apologize to everyone. I'm not sure I have time to write the next 4 episodes, but I'll happily provide a summary for anyone who's interested

Closure: YES
Best Character: Sinitrena
Setting: Ponch
Plot: Sinitrena
Word Choice: Sinitrena
Overall: Sinitrena

[R&R - Part Two]

R&R - Part Two

I sat at my desk and felt sick.  I'd tried writing lyrics for our next song to take my mind off that damn failed mission, but it was two am and I hadn't been able to come up with anything.

My door beeped and I looked over my shoulder as Ken'ichi Sawada, navigator on the Nemesis came in. He didn't have to knock; the bridge crew have open access to every room on the ship, including the crew's.

I knew what he was there for.  Maybe that was why I hadn't bothered going to bed.

"The answer's no," I said before he could speak.

"You haven't heard the question."

"You want me to go back alone and rescue your sister.  Break into a labor camp, in fact, only this time I'll be doing it without backup, without a weapon and very possibly without any kind of escape route.  Ken, we only just got away." My protest wasn't just based on that; I did not want to end up in a labor camp myself and I knew damn well that was what would happen if I was caught.  "What's Cy going to say?"

"Don't worry about that; I spoke to him before coming."

I folded my arms.  "Uh huh.  And what did you say?  If you said Cy, I'm going to break into Neil's room at two in the morning to beg him to sneak out on some suicide mission then maybe we can keep talking.  If you just called him on the radio to say Goodnight, then this conversation is over."

Ken'ichi sighed.  "For god's sake, Neil, relax.  He knows all about it."

"Right.  Fine.  So you won't mind if I call him to confirm that."

I reached for my headset but Ken'ichi got there first, knocking my hand away.  "No!"

I sat back down again.  "So he doesn't know.  You want me to go behind his back, presumably steal a ship, take an unauthorized trip down to Mercury to break into a labor camp in the hopes of rescuing two crew members who might not even be there anymore!"

"Cy will never give permission for a raiding party to go into the labor camps themselves."

"No, because he doesn't have cat shit for brains.  In case you'd forgotten, I'm the lead singer for the Mavericks. My face is plastered on just about every wall that belongs to a female crew member." This wasn't quite true â€" my bandmate Jarvis and I were about neck and neck in the Poster-On-Wall stakes â€" but it was true enough to give Ken'ichi a little pause.  "There's no way Tomoko won't recognize me and if she gives the game away…" I shook my head.  "I'm sorry.  It's one thing to raid a road crew, but going right into the heart of their operation…I'd be lucky to even survive that."

"This isn't a raid, Neil.  It's more...you could think of it as active espionage."

"I think of it as complete insanity.  Ken, I'm sorry about Tomoko, I really am so sorry, believe me, but getting me killed and/or locked up won't help her.  You know that, don't you?"

"I'm not talking about you breaking in.  They…" Ken'ichi swallowed hard.  "They, sometimes...people go and pay…" he shook his head, lips so tight they'd all but disappeared.

I stared at him, shocked to the heart.  "You want me to pretend I'm some sick, perverted asshole who gets his kicks from raping twelve year old girls?  Even if I go in and even if they let me and even if they agree to bring Tomoko, what's going to happen when she turns up, sees me and reacts?"

"You could request she be unconscious."  When I didn't do anything except keep staring, Ken'ichi shrugged.  "Some people like that sort of thing."

"And you know that how?" I demanded.

He shrugged again.  "I talked to Vern before coming up to you."

"And Vern knows that how?"

"He's made something of a study of labor camps. I don't know why or where he gets even half his information from, but so far it's been accurate.  You know Cy and Aiko rely on him when it comes to planning raids.  He came up with a plan and I think it might work, but I need your help.  I can't go down there myself; if they do a DNA test on the gate and find out Tomoko and I are related, I'll never get near her.  Neil, she's my sister."

I was silent.  Isolated as we were on the Nemesis, forbidden from making planetfall anywhere, family bonds were the closest thing we had to sacred.  For many of us, a brother or a sister were all that remained of our family, and the rest of us didn't even have that.

"Tell me your plan, then," I said at last, very quietly.  "Goddamn you."

-

AN: I have a question: how soon after one instalment are we allowed to post the next? Only this is shaping up to be a little longer than I thought and I really want to finish it before the deadline

[R&R - Part One]

R&R - Part One

MISSION TO MAGDA: OFFICIAL REPORT â€" CHELSEA GOODWIN

Transcribed by Amalla Firenze

Is this thing on? Okay. Right.

Well, it all went wrong from the start, really.

Our orders were simple enough: ambush the road crew, kill the guards, rescue Tomoko and Rowena and anyone else who wanted to come, and then get out again.

Only it didn't quite turn out like that. I don't know what Aiko put in her report, but I can't think it's going to be too different from this one.

Oh yes, before I forget: we have four new recruits. Three boys and a girl, ages around ten to fourteen. Not sure what you guys on the bridge want to do with them, but for the moment they're together in the brig. Maybe we could bend the six-people-to-a-new-Team rule and let them stay together. Just a thought.

We don't, however, have Rowena or Tomoko, because they weren't on the road crew that Selena insisted they would be on!

Anyway, I don't usually go along on these missions, as you know â€" my job on the Nemesis is running CGT â€" but this one was personal. I mean, Rowena's my Teammate, and Tomoko's Ken'ichi's sister, and Ken'ichi's always been friendly toward me. I kind of figured I owe him.

What I'm trying to say is, that what happened was in no way, shape or form my fault, and I'm sure Aiko will agree with me!

You all know Rowena and Tomoko were taken when we stopped on Luna, and we managed to track them to a labor camp on Magda. Selena assured Aiko and me that she knew how these things worked and that at least one of them, if not both, would be on the road crew first thing.

So. Easy, right? We go in, rescue them, come home.

Nope.

Hunter flew my group down in the Cosmic Hawk. We landed, the doors opened and some of us â€" not me, but more seasoned raiders like Neil Cox and Ismene Trajan â€" shot the guards. From there it should have been easy, but no-o-o! No, nothing's ever simple, is it?

We were supposed to get the keys off the guards and unlock everyone's shackles, and we did. That was one job I could help with; I don't think I could have actually killed anyone, but freeing slaves is just fine.

The problem was, our crewmates were nowhere to be seen! None of the workers could tell me where they'd gone, and most were too frightened to even look at me, much less answer. Out of the twenty there, one of them came along willingly â€" that older guy in the brig; I think he may be Terran, but I'm not sure. We didn't exactly have time to stop and chat, since the guards' biorhythms are connected to the control center at the labor camp, as I'm sure you know, and I could already see the transport in the distance. I grabbed the nearest kid and threw her into the Hawk, and Neil grabbed another one, and the guy we freed took another one, and then we had to get the hell out before the transport arrived.

Four kids got out of a labor camp, so in that respect, we didn't do too bad a job.

However, not only did we fail to rescue Rowena and/or Tomoko, but we put the guards on the alert and as good as told them that two of our people were in that camp! Anyone care to take bets on how long it'll take them to home in on the latest acquisitions? Don't all shout at once.

This was a failure, pure and simple.

SELENA'S REPORT

I should have known better than to let an untrained civilian like Chelsea along on this mission, but Aiko insisted she was ready. Chelsea's report is largely accurate; however, it might be an idea to re-examine it with a view to investigating Aiko's suitability as commander of the raiding forces, perhaps with an eye on replacing her.

AIKO'S REPORT

No it might not! You were the one who provided that intelligence, Selena! You said at least one of them would be on the road crew and we acted based on your words! Chelsea did the best she could; it wasn't her fault they weren't there! Even though she couldn't rescue the targets, she adapted to the current situation and came away with four new potential crew members.

ADDENDUM: SELENA

True, but hardly a substitution for a successful mission. Suggest Aiko Shizuya investigate possibility of additional training for 'raiders'.

ADDENDUM: AIKO

Suggest hotshot so-called commander Selena Mount investigate possibility of removing stick from butt. If hotshot so-called commander unable to locate aforementioned butt, would be more than happy to indicate approximate location with foot!

FURTHER ADDENDUM: SELENA

Aforementioned suggestion rather laughable, as I have serious doubts as to Aiko's ability to locate her own rear end with both hands and GPS, let alone somebody else's.

FURTHER ADDENDUM: AIKO

Suggest Selena trying to run from own mistakes and put blame onto Chelsea. Not good behavior for a commander, is it?

FURTHER ADDENDUM: SELENA

Chelsea screwed up, plain and simple. Nothing more to be said, although would advise Aiko to be more selective in her choice of field operatives.

FURTHER ADDENDUM: AIKO

She screwed up because you did! Why can't you just man up and accept responsibility for your own incompetence?

OFFICIAL RESPONSE FROM BRIDGE CREW

For fuck's sake, we get it already! It was a screw up from beginning to end! There's nothing to be done but sit back and rethink this whole thing.

Chelsea managed to get herself and four others off the planet and none of us have any doubt that she could have succeeded in saving Tomoko and Rowena, had they been there. It's damn difficult to rescue someone who's nowhere to be seen, however, so we can hardly blame her for her failure in this.  We'll talk it over and come up with some alternatives.

END OF REPORT

-

AN: This takes place in the Nemesis world last seen in the Writing Whodunnit challenge, so some names may be familiar to you I've no idea how many parts this is going to span, but I guess we'll see

The 1000 word limit is going to be tough, but I'll do my best I can foresee my putting a lot of entries into this one...

This is truly amazing! Thanks so much for sharing; these fit perfectly with my game

I wish I could come but it's just too far Never mind; I hope everyone who goes has a great time

[Character: Baron]

Character: Baron for the Cow. Not sure why but something about that stuck in my mind. Maybe because it made me think of Toonstruck
Setting: This was a really hard one but I'm going to have to go with Danvzare. I wanted to vote for Baron, but there were too many oddities and things that were never fully explained; I found I was spending more time trying to work out minor things than actually reading the story.
Plot: Danvzare
Word Choice: Danvzare Baron's was also good, but it used far too many odd verbs (spat, interjected, stated, pointed out, seconded etc) when a simple said would have worked much better. There was also some redundancy (“Where's the Snake?” the Llama asked, noting the absence of his slithering compatriot. The crossed out part really isn't necessary; it's obvious to the reader that the Llama has noticed that the Snake isn't there, otherwise why would he bother asking where he was?)
Revolution: Baron's. It was a clever idea

Having been flamed off one or two other forums for less than I've written above, I want to add a little disclaimer: The above is meant only in the spirit of constructive criticism, not as any kind of personal attack, and is only my opinion

Is game fanfic allowed as an entry? I have an idea for a King's Quest story that would fit nicely with this theme

  Can you write about yourselves?  Maybe some incident that happened in your lives?  If you aren't going with subject matter, then writing about "you" is another option.

Sorry, no. I'm really not comfortable with that, and there aren't really any interesting stories in my hobbies or interests (past or present) so I'm sitting this one out

I have exactly the same problem as Sinitrena. If it were 'you or your character write about his/her/your area of expertise' and it could be adapted to fantasy/sci-fi worlds, I'd have entered. As it stands, I'm afraid the subject matter seems too much like an essay for me, even though it's supposed to be fictional.

I'm 80% done, but right now I'm also 100% sick with a fever and just want to curl up in front of New Year's TV with a bowl of comfort food. So I'm really sorry, but I won't be making the deadline on this one.

I'll still release the game when it's done though

I'd like to enter, but I've done a lot of head-scratching and I still don't fully understand what the prompt's getting at, so I'm sitting this one out Plus, I'm working overtime trying to finish my MAGS December entry before the deadline

The game mechanics and GUIs are all in, programmed and working, along with some of the character sprites.  Now I just have to draw the remaining rooms and animate the main character. The game's turned out much, much simpler than I intended for it to be, but it should be a completed game and should be working

This is turning into a real (re)learning curve for me; it's been so long since I used AGS that I find myself going to the Help menu a lot more than I used to It should be done by the deadline though

Heh. Very clever, Mandle I like it!

It took me a while to figure out what your shape is supposed to be and even now I'm not completely sure. It reminded me of these kinds of wreaths but as far as I'm concerned, it could also be something more abstract. Therefore, I can't really comment on how well text and shape fit together.

It's a light bulb, linking the text of trying to think of an idea with the concept of the 'Idea Bulb'

And congrats to the three who placed! I'll be looking forward to the next round!

My title screen, hand-drawn in good ol' Twisted Brush:



There'll be things like New Game, Load Game etc there for the real thing, obviously I was going to add the main character, but no matter what I did it just ended up looking weird, so it can stay as it is. I might change the writing though, see how it goes...

[Text:]

For once, this was easy for me to decide

Text: selmiak
Shape: selmiak
Correlation: selmiak

Quick question: can we make a game about something that starts out full and depletes as the game goes on? Example: you have 10 charges on your fuel pack, it's up to you when you use them but when they're gone they're gone. The idea is that the player has to find a way out before everything is depleted.