Messages

"Joke" was an unfortunate word choice. My apologies. I still cant tell if this story is meant for adults and has an intentional shock value or if it really is for children and maybe poor writing.

This is kind of my problem as well. Like you, I'll comment in detail during voting, but I'm honestly not sure what to make of this entry...

[Sinitrena: 6]

Okay, it's pretty clear that no one else is going to vote and it's about time for the next round, so I'm closing the contest.

The final amount of votes stand at:
Sinitrena: 6 (counting Baron's extra vote )
Baron: 5

I'm on the fence about accepting extra votes as they can be a bit sticky (where does it end? Can we cast 100 votes for someone?) but in this case, I'll run with it, as there were so few votes and even if I had discounted it and ended the contest as a tie-breaker, Sinitrena would still have won.

So the winner of the Golden Platonic Heart is...

Sinitrena!

Which leaves Baron the proud owner of the Silver Platonic Heart!

And now, onto my hypothetical votes and feedback!

Best Friendship: Sinitrena. Even though it's at the beginning of the friendship, we see it start to happen when they agree to go for a drink together. With Baron's entry, I didn't get any sense of friendship at all, much less the oddness of the couple. I suppose a cow and a gander probably wouldn't be friends in the real world, but the prompt was more of a cat-and-dog, wolf-and-lamb friendship.
Best Difference: Sinitrena; it's pretty clear that the two are different and why. The different personalities in Baron's entry came across fairly well, but it wasn't enough.
Best Character: This was a tough one, but I'm going to have to go with Baron. I really loved Dr. Harris in Sinitrena's story, but the gung-ho Tex-Cow just squeaked past into first place. 
Best Story: Sinitrena. Good story with a beginning, middle and end. Baron's struck me as more an extract from a story than the story itself.
Best Writing: Sinitrena. As Baron said, there were several typos, but overall I felt it was a higher standard. Baron's felt very rushed, and the overuse of dialog distanced me from the piece. I would have liked more description.

So, this round is closed, and the next one is down to Sinitrena! Take it away

Did JudasFm just go on a power trip against power trips?   

But of course I don't mind power trips at all; I just want to be the one going on them
I'm tired (just got back from a festival) but results and trophies will be posted tomorrow (my time) Up until then, if anyone else wants to vote, it's open!

[Support Slug]

Greetings unto you, Wizard. Or, you know, Paladin, or Rogue, or Warrior, or whatever you are.
I bestow upon you that rarest of companions, the Support Slug!
It's a long, hard road, being a hero. Very few people bother to thank you, or even notice what you've done. But no matter how weary you get, no matter how lonely you are or whatever happens, the Support Slug will never give up on you. He will just sit patiently and, whenever you need it, whisper comforting words, such as, "You're a great hero!" or "Never give up! I believe in you!" or "Everything's going to be alright." He feeds on algae and is amphibious, so a little jar of pond or swamp water is the perfect way to keep your Support Slug happy and healthy and, above all, supportive.
(Please note: each Support Slug can only be seen/heard by their respective Hero. We accept no responsibility for accusations of insanity, being burned as witches, or getting really funny looks. Enjoy Support Slugs responsibly!)

And now, without further ado, your very own Support Slug!



Aw, look! He loves you already!

And, since not many people expect to be given random slugs and therefore aren't prepared to look after them, we're also giving you this complimentary little jug of pond water and algae for your new little friend to live in when he's not supporting you!



Support Slugs are very hardy; so as long as you remember to change the water every time you pass a pond or swamp, he'll be fine.

It probably goes without saying that Support Slugs do not thrive in salt water.

Enjoy!

[2]

That wouldn't change anything.    But I see your point.

ACK! Bad Squid, sneaking in and changing words at the last minute Of course, I meant to write Entrant 2 It's a good thing some people pay more attention to my posts than I do

I generally don't assume anyone around here would manipulate an outcome like this. Why should they? But you can always just cast your votes at any point during the voting period, as long as there is a reasonable amount of time before you close the voting, to avoid the problem. I would argue, though, that casting votes earlier voids the tie breaking power, but that might just be my sense of fairness.

No, I don't think for one minute that it would be abused in the way you're suggesting. Like you said, there wouldn't be any purpose to it

I see what you mean about the tie breaker (which kind of ties in with the whole no-votes-for-administrator thing) but I imagine a tie-breaker as only one vote per entry as opposed to voting again in separate categories. Usually I'd extend the voting (like now) and if there are no votes by the end, I think the administrator - as the person who set up the contest and has a vague idea in their own mind of what they were hoping to see - should get a single casting vote, if only so the next round can proceed. Otherwise we could be waiting forever for someone to vote

The other problem with giving the administrator both votes is that if they cast all their votes for Entrant 1, then it would be pretty obvious who'd win if it did come down to a tie-breaker.

So yeah. Basically, I think the tie-breaker vote is the only vote the administrator should have that actually counts towards the total, and that's how I've always run this contest when it's been my turn. I'm an administrator, not a judge; I leave that up to the other members of the forum But like I said, that's just my way of doing things

Actually, the administrator is elligible to vote, usually as a tie breaker.

As a tie-breaker, yes. However, I really don't consider it fair for the administrator to have the same voting rights as everyone else, because they tend to vote and close the voting in the same post.

To elaborate, imagine a round with three entrants and five  categories. Voting starts, and the final scores are:

Entrant 1: 9 votes
Entrant 2: 5 votes
Entrant 3: 1 vote

It's pretty clear who the voters support. But then the administrator weighs in, gives 5 votes to Entrant 2 - causing first and second place to be switched - and instantly closes the voting.

I get that this sort of thing happens when people vote too, but in that case, it's still down to other voters. When the administrator votes and closes in the same post, which tends to happen, he/she is basically saying: "Okay, my votes are in and my word is final, because I stopped anyone else from voting differently! Mwahahaha!" In which case, they might as well skip the voting process and pick the winner directly.

To sum it up, I believe that in the interests of fairness, the administrator should not be eligible to vote unless they do so at the start of voting, or in the event of a tiebreaker. As an entrant, the whole vote-and-close thing really irritates me, so as an administrator, I never do it. I do give hypothetical votes for the entrants' own reference, but those don't count towards the total.

I'm probably alone on this, but that's okay My take on contests is that, to a certain extent, the administrator makes the rules. It's a rule that in my contest, the administrator (ie, me) is only allowed to vote in the case of a tie-breaker. 

Phew! See what happens when you post a comment and I'm in Tsudanuma's Burger King with 2 hours to kill? I get wordy! 

Is there nobody around who wants to read a couple stories and vote? This round, it's not even that much to read! 

Just in case, I'll extend the voting time until the end of the week. If nobody else votes, The Squid and I will break the tie 

[Timothy Coultry‘s Notebook]

And with that, the contest is CLOSED for voting! The entries are:

Timothy Coultry‘s Notebook by Sinitrena

Aaaaaand...

Partners at Crime by Baron

As the administrator, I'm obviously not eligible to vote (although I will provide feedback along with the results) but you guys are and you have until July 17 to get your votes in, so hurry and vote vote VOTE!

The categories are:

Best Friendship: Do we believe that these friends would walk through fire for each other? Or at least lend each other a couple bucks?
Best Difference: Why exactly is the characters' friendship so unusual? We don't need the backstory (unless you want to write a How They Met entry) just show us why people are always surprised to see this particular duo hanging out.
Best Character: Who was the most interesting to read about, even if you didn't want to meet them yourself?
Best Story: What it says on the tin
Best Writing: Whose words jumped off the page, seized you by the throat and dragged you into the story, refusing to let you go until the very end, at which point you collapsed against a wall, gasping for breath and saying, "Wow! That turn of phrase was...you know what? Just WOW!"

Extension granted! You now have until Friday to get your entries finished and in
And...WOW!  Looks like you've got your hands full!

Last call for entries! (Unless, of course, anyone wants an extension  )

Two days left! (Anyone planning to enter? Anyone at all?  ) Or have The Squid and I completely stymied the whole board with demands for tales of friendship between odd couples like cats and mice, cats and dogs, cops and robbers etc

Less than one week to get those entries in! (Don't any characters out there have friends?    )

If you know Good Omens,

I read it when it first hit the shelves back in the '90s...

Worms poured out of it and ate me and I died.

True story!

What a shame! So I guess you didn't live to see the adaptation on Amazon Prime? 
(Wait, if Mandle died in the 90s, who am I talking to? Who's typing this??) 

OK.  So let me get this straight.  We're going for like a Thelma & Louise kinda thing.  Or maybe a Watson & Holmes kinda thing.  But not a Sonny & Cher kinda thing, or a Lennon & McCartney kinda thing.  What about a Bert & Ernie kinda thing?  Or a Sam & Frodo kinda thing?  How close is too close?!??  And what about the minimum degree of personality difference?  Would a Batman & Robin kinda thing work?  What about a Chip & Dale kinda thing?  I mean, I get that a Bill & Ted kinda thing wouldn't fly, but that a Wooster & Jeeves kinda thing would be great, but I'm just trying to feel out the middle ground. 

If you know Good Omens, you're aiming for more an Aziraphale (angel) and Crowley (devil) kind of thing
The difference doesn't have to be in personality, just background.

Basically, if you can answer YES to the following questions, your entry should be good to go:

1. Do the characters have the kind of friendship where they would immediately help each other out and go to the other for help? (To quote Aziraphale's feelings from Good Omens when it all falls to pieces: "He ought to call heaven. He wanted to call Crowley.")

2. Do the characters come from very different backgrounds, so that the reaction of anyone who sees them will run along the lines of, "Wait, what? Those two are friends? How in the hell did that happen?"

3. Do the characters have a 100% platonic relationship, with no sexual attraction towards the other?

Does that help? 

[â€" Unknown]

"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are."
â€" Unknown

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
†• Groucho Marx

Friendships come and go throughout our lives. Some happen because we're in the same place as our friend (school, work) or we meet through a new hobby.
And then...there are these.

Your task is to write about a deep friendship between two people who, ordinarily, would want nothing to do with each other. (For example: a high school delinquent and a high school honor student).

Any setting is fine.

RULES

No romance, hinted or otherwise, between the pair. Romance with other characters is fine, but the main characters' relationship should be 100% platonic.
No ending of the friendship in your entry (unless it's of the Fight-And-Make-Up variety where the characters are friends again by the end). This is about a lasting friendship.
No 'friendship for old times' sake' (ie, the high school delinquent and honor student are only hanging out because they've been friends since kindergarten and keep the friendship out of habit). In other words, the friendship has to have started when the pair were already in very different circumstances.

That's it!

Entries are due by July 9, but extensions are always available. We're all friends here, after all

Categories:
Best Friendship: Do we believe that these friends would walk through fire for each other? Or at least lend each other a couple bucks?
Best Difference: Why exactly is the characters' friendship so unusual? We don't need the backstory (unless you want to write a How They Met entry) just show us why people are always surprised to see this particular duo hanging out.
Best Character: Who was the most interesting to read about, even if you didn't want to meet them yourself?
Best Story: What it says on the tin
Best Writing: Whose words jumped off the page, seized you by the throat and dragged you into the story, refusing to let you go until the very end, at which point you collapsed against a wall, gasping for breath and saying, "Wow! That turn of phrase was...you know what? Just WOW!"

Have fun!

[one]

It's probably something to do with the fact that shooting schedules can be (and usually are) hellish; there just isn't time for the director to think up thoughts and emotions. Plus, you're shooting in completely random order, and very often only for about 5-10 seconds at a time, so the actors need to know instantly what's going through their character's head at that point in the script

That might be. I always assumed it had something to do with the fact that you get one movie out of a film script but infinite (different) perfomances out of a play script, leading to the need for the author to accertain his or her vision more thoroughly.

One movie, a zillion different takes and camera angles Ever see a scene in a movie where Character A opens the front door and has a short, maybe 30-second conversation with Character B standing on the porch? And the camera cuts back and forth between the two faces? Yeah...the shooting schedule for that would go something like this:

1. Shoot the whole thing from start to finish with the camera behind Character A's shoulder.
2. Shoot the whole thing from start to finish with the camera directly in front of Character B to get Character A's POV, while Character A delivers their lines from next to the cameraman.
3. See #2, but instead of seeing all of Character B, this time only shoot the actor from the waist up.
4. See #3, only this time shoot Character B from the chest up.
5. See #4. This time, shoot Character B in close-up.
6. If you want a particular reaction shot (grimace, puzzled look, sneeze, scowl, etc) from Character B, shoot each one individually.
7. Move all the equipment to the other side of the set.
8. Repeat Stages #1-6, only this time with Character A as the main focus.
9. Pray to the gods of movie-making that nobody sneezes, gets a phone call, burps, rustles papers or farts during the take, and that the actors don't screw up their lines. Either one will mean you have to repeat the current stage from the beginning. If it's the beginning of the day, you're good, but if you're getting towards the end and the actors are exhausted, you can bet there'll be a blooper or two.
10. Get all your reaction shots, and all your takes, and spend a couple hours in an editing suite mixing and matching every take from every camera into a cohesive whole. (Okay, we have editors who actually do the dirty work, but the director's looking over their shoulder telling them to put this bit there, or drop in the close-up when Character A says this line etc).

And that's not even counting the numerous dry runs and extra takes With all that in mind, the director can't exactly call CUT halfway through a take just to give the actors direction

Actually, in my experiance that's not the case. As a matter of fact, that's one of the differences between a play and a movie script: For some reason, movie scripts contain a lot of comentary on a character's state of mind and inner turmoil, while in theater that usually is left to the director.
[...]all stage directions of the very emotional last scene of Romeo and Juliett, the one where everyone kills themselves. There's not a single reference to how a character feels, because this is all in the spoken text, nor is there any description of what a fight looks like, because that is of no importance for the way the story progresses. It's important that people fight, not how.

To be fair, styles do change over 400 years or so I've seen both styles of script used in the theater, but I did a quick search of more modern scripts and you're right that skimpy directions do seem to be more the order of the day It's probably something to do with the fact that shooting schedules can be (and usually are) hellish; there just isn't time for the director to think up thoughts and emotions. Plus, you're shooting in completely random order, and very often only for about 5-10 seconds at a time, so the actors need to know instantly what's going through their character's head at that point in the script

[JudasFm:]

JudasFm: Your formating didn't work out too great. Like Baron, I had problems recognizing stage directions for what they are. Honestly, I wonder why such a format (with centered text too) is used for film scripts. I think it's incredibly difficult to read.

Actually, no. It's only the actor's lines that are centered; everything else is left-justified. So if I were to write some of the lines script-style, it would be:

HIKARI
He alone?

TAIYOU
Yeah.

Taiyou slams the door shut behind them and leans against it. Kawamoto jumps and spins around.

TAIYOU
(CONT'D)
Problem?

Since you can easily tell what you're looking at by glancing at where the sentences are on the page, it's incredibly easy to read. It's harder here because most PC screens are wider than a sheet of A4, and without italics/brackets such as Mandle used, it's difficult to tell where the entry stops and the author comments kick in  Like I said, it was my bad in formatting.

I think you had slightly too many, or too detailed, unnecessary stage directions. They often didn't read like something in a play but what the director would tell to his actors. For example: Kawamoto stares at him. His world's starting to fall down around him. such a reference to the emotional state of a character seemed slightly out of place, especially considering that this is pretty clear from the dialogue itself.

To a certain extent, it depends on the writer - some will include more than others - but this really is how it's done in scripts, both theater and screenplay, and in a real script, you would actually expect to see more of this It's not the director's job to tell the actors how to read a certain line (and some actors can get pretty upset if this happens) any more than it's the director's job to tell the cameraman how to operate his camera. The director's job is to plan out all the angles they want of a particular scene, then tell the cameraman to make it happen. Likewise, the writer gives the actor a little context (this is what your character's thinking and why they react the way they do) and the director makes sure they're doing it right. Bear in mind that the majority of directors - ie, anyone who isn't James Cameron or Steven Spielberg - won't be working with their own scripts, but with someone else's and often in a genre they're not particularly keen on (one of my director friends in LA specializes in psychological thriller, and on one Skype call he spent some twenty minutes yelling at me because the company he works for assigned him a romantic screenplay to direct  )

What they also do, however, is try different ways of doing the same thing ("Hey, Kawamoto? That scene where you threw the leaflets was great, but this time I'd like you to try marching right up to Ueda and shoving them in his face.")

The whole time reading your text, I wondered if the title was supposed to refer to the whole play or just this scene. Considering your plot seems to be a fairly generic murder mystery, "Confession" seems like a weird title - but scenes usualy don't get titles at all, so...

Yeah, it referred to the scene I suck at titles, but it was the best I could think of.

Best Plot: Mandle, I liked JudasFm's too but I just got the impression because this scene was near to the end and the mystery didn't seem that deep, that the scenes before would contain a lot of padding.

Well, it doesn't make any difference to the result so I guess it doesn't matter, but I feel it's pretty harsh that you seemed to base this decision on scenes you never even read. Granted, there was nothing stopping me from giving everyone a Cliff Notes version, and I should have done, but even if I'd laid out all the red herrings and problems Ueda puts in Kawamoto's way (bear in mind he's far more experienced than naive rookie Kawamoto, so he would be capable of a) misleading people and b) destroying/fabricating evidence) and the tensions and prejudices that both the cops and the hosts have to overcome before they can even start to work together to solve this mystery, it still shouldn't have had any bearing on this. It's like if I read someone's entry and said, "Yeah, I liked it, but I think that this is going to happen next in the story and that doesn't work for me, so I'm not voting for it."

Since it's hard to judge tone over the internet, I'll add that I'm really not trying to change any decisions or cause any problems or offense here I just wanted to throw my two cents into the ring.

And with that (as you so aptly put it) a huge thanks to everyone who was kind enough to vote for me, and the next contest will be up very soon! 

b]Best Play:[/b]I kept getting confused with JudasFm's script trying to differentiate stage directions from speech, which broke the atmosphere for me. 

Yeah, that was a serious screw up on my part Like I said, I originally set it out script-style, with lines centered and stage directions left-justified, but when I previewed it, it turned out really hard to read. If everyone was reading this site on their phone, it would've worked, but I wasn't about to take that risk. I did think about going back and reformatting the setting in much the same style as Mandle, but I think I barely squeaked in by the deadline as it was, and I always feel that editing an entry after submission (barring those times when I forget to turn the italics off) isn't quite fair

[Most Distinct Voice:]

Most Distinct Voice: Baron. I didn't feel like Mandle's characters stood out much; their personalities were too similar. I did like Loudspeaker Voice's version of orders though ("DO NOT DO TO IT WHAT YOU DID THE LAST TIME FOR GOD'S SAKE" really made me grin).
Best Play: Mandle. It was a bit clunky (scripts don't explain how to get blood effects etc, although I took this in the spirit of showing that it's possible on a stage and thus keeping in the spirit of the competition) but I could imagine everything.
Best Writing: Again, Mandle. Baron's made it seem like there were two people just standing on a stage with no background, no actions, just 'talking heads' (are the characters drinking, ordering more drinks, sitting down, standing up, what are they doing?)
Best Plot: Baron. Maybe it was because Mandle's entry was at the very beginning, but I didn't really get what was going on. (I did do a bit of research and found The Men Who Stare At Goats, which seems to have inspired this? Or maybe I'm reading too much into it). Anyway, Baron gets this vote; he made an easy-to-follow story, or part of one, and he made me want to read on.

[CONFESSION]

Mine's nearly done! It's just a bit of a long one  Okay, done! This is the penultimate scene in the play. I'm not sure how well it works but I had a lot of fun writing it, and it gave me more characters to use in future rounds which is never a bad thing  I did originally try and lay it out like a normal script (lines centered, stage directions justified) but it turned out to be too hard to read on a screen.

CONFESSION

SCENE: Tengoku Host Club â€" Floor

The club's closed, tables bereft of the usual drinks. The bar's dark and shut up. HIKARI is sitting with SHUYA at one of the tables. Both flicking through phones. Hikari's got a lit cigarette in the other hand.

The door to the club opens and KAWAMOTO enters, closely followed by TAIYOU. Hikari doesn't look up.

HIKARI
He alone?

TAIYOU
Yeah.

Taiyou slams the door shut behind them and leans against it. Kawamoto jumps and spins around.

TAIYOU
Problem?

Kawamoto swallows hard.

KAWAMOTO
Uh...no.

Hikari stops playing with his phone and sets it to one side on the table, indicates the chair opposite.

HIKARI
Have a seat.

Kawamoto does so, glancing around nervously.

HIKARI
(indicating phone)
You don't mind if I record this, right?

KAWAMOTO
Ah...n-no, that's fine.

Silence.

HIKARI
So? What d'you want now? I didn't kill Kouji. None of us did.

KAWAMOTO
Uh, no. No, we know that.

Hikari laughs while Taiyou and Shuya exchange do-you-believe-this-shit looks.

HIKARI
You know, huh? What, you just gonna take my word for it with no proof?

KAWAMOTO
(oops)
Well...that is...

HIKARI
Fuck me, you really are a rookie, aren't you?

KAWAMOTO
It's, well, it's about Kouji that I want to-

His cell rings, cutting him off.

HIKARI
Who's that?

Kawamoto takes out his phone and looks at it. Rejects the call.

KAWAMOTO
No one. Did Kouji ever meet up with patrons outside the club?

TAIYOU
Not on the day he was killed. Patron couldn't kill him anyway.

KAWAMOTO
What do you mean?

Taiyou shrugs.

TAIYOU
We grew up together. He had his fair share of fights. Ain't no way some patron would've got the jump on him.

KAWAMOTO
Then could it have been revenge?

TAIYOU
Doubt it. This were back in Kyoto. We come to Tokyo two years ago to get away from that life, so he wouldn'ta picked up any new enemies here.

Kawamoto's phone rings again. He rejects the call and looks from one host to the other. Settles on Hikari.

KAWAMOTO
Did you know this?

HIKARI
Course. I don't usually hire people like that, but they'd come a long way and I figured Kouji was serious about getting out that life, so I gave him and Taiyou a chance. My one act of charity.

Kawamoto's phone rings again. He grimaces and picks it up, answering this time without looking at the screen.

KAWAMOTO
Look, I'm in the middle of something! Call me back, okay?
(beat, then he gets an "Oh SHIT" look on his face)
Mom? Mom, now's not really...I just...
(beat. Kawamoto surrenders to the inevitable)
Alright...Yes...Yes, I got it. Trash bags and milk. I'll stop off at Lawson's on the way home...No, I don't need to make a list! Goodbye!

He hangs up. All three hosts are now grinning like it's Christmas come early.

SHUYA
How old're you?

KAWAMOTO
Uh...twenty four.

The grins get a little bigger.

SHUYA
And you still live with your mom?

TAIYOU
Lame.

KAWAMOTO
Look, can we please justâ€"

His phone rings again.

KAWAMOTO (CONT'D)
Oh, for…

SHUYA
It's okay, go ahead. She probably wants you to get some eggs.

KAWAMOTO
It's my partner. He's been trying to get hold of me.
(Glances at Hikari)
Uh…

Hikari shrugs and waves his hand in a 'sure' gesture. Kawamoto answers the phone.

KAWAMOTO
What is it?

Lights go on in the upper part of the stage, revealing a much smaller version of Kawamoto and Ueda's office. Ueda's at his desk, staring at the PC.

UEDA
You alone?

KAWAMOTO
What? No, I'm with Hikari and the others.

Ueda runs a hand through his hair.

UEDA
What others?

KAWAMOTO
Well, Taiyou and Shuya.

Ueda jerks upright in his seat.

UEDA
Get out of there.

KAWAMOTO
Huh? Why?

The three hosts are watching him now. Narrow-eyed. No longer smiling. Taiyou shifts his weight slightly. Kawamoto doesn't see him.

UEDA
It's Shuya. I knew I'd seen that kid before. We just got a match for those fingerprints on the leaflet. Real name: Shigeyama Kazuya. Wanted for murder in Osaka. He stabbed his uncle to death when he was twelve, stole his money and went on the run.

Ueda pulls his jacket on one-handed, scrambling for the door. Kawamoto stares at Shuya and squirms on his chair, trying to inch away without being too obvious.

KAWAMOTO
He wha-a-a-t?

UEDA
I notified the local police and they're on their way. I'll be there as soon as I can, but you have to get out!

KAWAMOTO
Uh. Yeah.

He ends the call and puts the phone back in his pocket, never taking his eyes off Shuya.

SHUYA
What?

Kawamoto moistens his lips.

KAWAMOTO
Are you...Shigeyama Kazuya?

The effect is electric; Shuya catapults himself off the chair and away from Kawamoto, heading for the door. Kawamoto leaps to his feet and starts to give chase, but Taiyou grabs him, holding him in place as Shuya wrenches open the door.

Exit Shuya, stage left.

HIKARI
Taiyou!

Taiyou glares at Hikari and doesn't move or release Kawamoto.

TAIYOU
The fuck you yellin' at me for?

HIKARI
Shuya's escaped. You wanna be sent down for assaulting a detective? Let him go!

Long pause while their eyes lock and Kawamoto flinches in Taiyou's grasp. At last, Taiyou looks away and releases him.

Kawamoto runs to the door Shuya escaped through and opens it. Looks through, then closes it again.

HIKARI
How'd you find his name?

Kawamoto returns to the table, but doesn't sit down.

KAWAMOTO
Fingerprints. On the leaflets we found next to Kouji's body...we got fingerprints off them.

He frowns, shakes his head slightly. Something doesn't add up.

TAIYOU
That ain't possible.

KAWAMOTO
I know he's your friend and you want to protect him, but...

TAIYOU
(cutting in)
No, it really ain't possible. Shuya ain't done catch duty for ages.
(to Hikari)
Right?

Hikari sits down at the table and stubs out his cigarette before answering.

HIKARI
'Sright. Last time he did it was about two or three years ago.

KAWAMOTO
But he could have got the leaflets, right?

HIKARI
Sure, but why would he kill Kouji? They were friends.

KAWAMOTO
Where do you keep the leaflets?

Hikari jerks a thumb toward the bar counter.

HIKARI
Right over there. Help yourself.

Kawamoto crosses to the counter, giving Taiyou rather a wide berth, and picks up the topmost leaflet.

KAWAMOTO
No, sorry, I meant the ones you give out to people on the street.

HIKARI
That's them.

KAWAMOTO
No, I meant...

He gives up and digs out his phone, flicks through it and shows it to Hikari.

KAWAMOTO
See? I took a picture. These were the leaflets left on the body.

Hikari takes the phone and frowns, then hands it back.

HIKARI
Oh, that's the old design.
(takes out his cigarettes, lights up)
I changed it about six months ago.

Kawamoto stares at him. His world's starting to fall down around him. Slowly, he sits down on the bar stool, takes out his phone and stares at it. Closes his eyes, puts it back in his pocket.

KAWAMOTO
You need to get out of here.

TAIYOU
What?

KAWAMOTO
The police are on their way. I'll handle things here, just get out. You don't want to be mixed up in this.

HIKARI
Maybe you've forgotten, but we got pretty well mixed up in it when one of us got stabbed to death!

Kawamoto stares at him. Halfway to crying now, because he knows.

KAWAMOTO
Just go!

Taiyou and Hikari exchange looks, then both head for the same door Shuya left by and exit.

Kawamoto picks up a leaflet, then lets it flutter back to the ground. Gets up, moves to the table and sits down. Waiting.

SFX: A car pulls up outside.

The entrance door opens. Enter UEDA. He looks around, seeing no one but Kawamoto. Goes to the door leading to the street, opens it. Closes it again. (NB: for most of this conversation, Kawamoto speaks in a dull monotone).

UEDA
Where're the hosts?

KAWAMOTO
(shrugs)
No idea.

Ueda whirls on him.

UEDA
What do you mean, no idea? They were with you, weren't they?

KAWAMOTO
How did you know which door to go through?

UEDA
(baffled)
What?

Kawamoto half turns his head to look at him.

KAWAMOTO
In Kouji's apartment. We arrived at the crime scene together, but when I tried to go through the wrong door, you corrected me. How did you know?

Ueda frowns. He continues searching the club â€" opening door to Hikari's office, peering behind the bar and under tables etc â€" but is very slowly moving closer to Kawamoto.

UEDA
I didn't, I guessed.

KAWAMOTO
(bitter laugh)
I'm green but I'm not that green. You didn't guess, Ueda. You knew.

Ueda gives up on the search as Kawamoto stands and moves over to the bar. Both men are half-circling each other, neither wanting to get too close to the other.

UEDA
So now...what? You think I'm a murderer because I knew which room Kouji was in? It wasn't my fingerprints they found on the leaflets!

Kawamoto snatches up a fistful of leaflets from the bar and hurls them at Ueda.

KAWAMOTO
You mean these leaflets?

Ueda picks up one of the leaflets and glances at it. Freezes.

UEDA
This…

KAWAMOTO
They changed the design. Whoever killed Kouji must have been planning it for a while.

UEDA
So they changed the design. Shuya works here! He could've gotten them at any time.

KAWAMOTO
But Shuya only committed one crime that we know of, and he was never caught. How could anyone have matched his fingerprints to those on the leaflet? His fingerprints aren't on file!

UEDA
Yeah, but…

KAWAMOTO
(cutting across, looking around)
Where are the police?

UEDA
Police?

KAWAMOTO
You said you called the local police before you left. They're a lot closer than you were. If you called them before leaving, why aren't they here yet?

UEDA
How the fuck should I know!

KAWAMOTO
You're a detective. Trained, like me. A normal person might not have been able to get the drop on Kouji, but you could.

(FX: the lights around the club dim, so that the audience only see Ueda and Kawamoto at the table)

UEDA
(sighs, sits down at the table)
Even if you could persuade someone to listen to this crazy fantasy of yours, you don't have any proof.

Kawamoto draws his gun and points it at Ueda. His hand's shaking visibly.

UEDA
What the hell do you think you're doing?!

KAWAMOTO
Did you kill Kouji?

UEDA
Enough already! This is…

KAWAMOTO
(yelling)
Did you kill him?

Long, long silence. Ueda leans back in his chair, never taking his eyes off Kawamoto.

UEDA
What if I did?

Kawamoto squeezes his eyes shut. Devastated.

UEDA
They're scum. All of them. My last partner got himself killed by one of 'em.

KAWAMOTO
(quiet, broken)
But not any of the ones in this club.

UEDA
(shrugs)
So?

KAWAMOTO
So? So you're a detective! You're supposed to uphold the law, not break it!

UEDA
(snorts)
Still the naive kid, huh? We arrest people, we put 'em away and then they're walking free not three weeks later. Kouji had previous. Fights, burglary, he even put a few people in hospital when he was running wild in Kyoto. You think we should let someone like that loose on the streets of Tokyo?

KAWAMOTO
That doesn't give you the right to kill him!

UEDA
(sighs)
One less street punk...who's gonna know? Who's even gonna care?

Long silence. Ueda reaches inside his jacket for his own gun, but doesn't draw it.

UEDA
What now?

Kawamoto looks up at him. Tears. Betrayed by the person he looked up to the most. He sets his gun down, and Ueda smiles a little.

UEDA
That's what I thought.

Kawamoto picks up Hikari's cell phone from the table and pushes the button to stop recording.

KAWAMOTO
Thank you for your confession.

The smile drains off Ueda's face.

UEDA
What?

Kawamoto gets to his feet. Hating every second of this.

KAWAMOTO
Shinji Ueda, you're under arrest.

UEDA
(re: cell phone)
That's not admissible as evidence.

KAWAMOTO
Then you've nothing to worry about.

Ueda draws his gun and aims it at Kawamoto's chest.

UEDA
If you think you can arrest me by yourself, then...

(SFX: breaking glass)

Ueda falls to the ground as the club lights come back on, revealing Hikari standing there with a broken bottle in his hand.

HIKARI
(off the bottle)
Ah shit. Hundred thousand yen, down the drain.

KAWAMOTO
What are you doing here?

Hikari shrugs, sets the bottle down on the table.

HIKARI
Forgot my phone.

He holds out his hand for it. Kawamoto draws away.

KAWAMOTO
I'm sorry; I need it for evidence. I'll make sure you get it back afterwards.

He moves next to Hikari. Both look down at Ueda's unconscious body.

HIKARI
Didn't think you'd have it in you to arrest your own partner.

KAWAMOTO
(beat, then he looks at Hikari)
You came back to help me?

Hikari shrugs, not looking at him.

HIKARI
Yeah, well. Myâ€"

KAWAMOTO
â€"one act of charity, yeah, I get it.

Blackout.

End of scene.

-

Definitions
catch duty: Slang. Basically, the person on catch duty is the one responsible for standing outside a club or restaurant, handing out leaflets and trying to entice passers-by into visiting.
Host club: A place where women pay to have good-looking young men flirt and drink with them and generally make them feel like the most desirable woman in the room. The hosts get a hefty commission on any drinks their lady buys. Some host clubs are classy, others are decidedly not. Club Tengoku falls very much in the latter category Not illegal - assuming they don't have sex for money, which is something most hosts go out of their way to avoid - but many Japanese people tend to look down on hosts and hostesses.