Messages

Oh TOTALLY going in the manual.

I have a group of suckers--- I mean, uh, testers --- at the moment, on a SECRET, HIDDEN FORUM, SOMEWHERE ON THE INTERNET, that are playing it through. They are reporting bugs like wildfire. Which doesn't really say much for me, does it? Oh well.

You quit by pressing CTRL+Q. F5 and F7 are Load/Save respectively. Basically, I didn't add a nice load/save feature


STUFF I HAVE FIXED, BUT NOT YET UPLOADED, so technically, it is NOT FIXED YET.

1. The B in Hobo.
2. The Rope on the Tree
3. Entire Game will now NOT rape you but may molest you or any young children in the vicinity.
4. Fixed the GUI
5. SHH is now credited.
6. The Bug where he Stands in the Door like a Moron is fixed
7. Inventory Look Interactions added
8. Hotspots given NAMES, instead of informative BLANK SPACES.
9. You may now FEED THE BIRD.
10. Added this one, nice, new screen to the intro.


I'll wait, see what other bugs appear, and fix them to upload the finished version.

I once found a website... these guys that wanted to make a gaming company or something. Well, to try and attract programmers and the likes, they posted 'screenshots' of their game. Which just so happened to look EXACTLY like those scenes that come with Bryce... you know, the one with the beach and the ball and umbrella? Yeah.

I think that while Bryce and Poser can be stretched to their absolute limits, really people should be concentrating on trying to learn 3D studio or Maya. You can get trails of 3D studio on a lot of 3D art magazines, and you can also download the completely free Home Edition of Maya 5 on their website, which has no limitations (Except that you can't use the graphics commercially and I think it watermarks them).

Uh yeah. Well, you know click them twice, Evil. It makes no sense. Just click them twice.

Whores.

Okay um SSH, I be needing some scripting help. I have no idea whatsoever as to why the inventory won't scroll. Besides that, I can't figure out how to USE the pills and on top of all of that, what was the other thing? Uh, yeah. Well it was something, anyway. I'll upload the fixed version and then, uh, do something. Credit SSH. That's right. And fix "hobo".

Anyhoo, thanks for all the response so far. I have no idea what my game is like anymore, because I've seen all the graphics and such so goddamned much that I'm literally sick of them. But, you know... apparently, nobody else is, so you know, awesome! Maybe I will fix those bugs after all. In fact, I'm gonna load up AGS right now!

*sigh*

I swore that no matter how buggy it was, that was it. It was over and I was done. Now here are some known bugs which I will be forced to fix.

1. SSH is not credited even though he is awesome.
2. You can't scroll on the menu bar. Not that you ever get enough items to want to do that.
3. Here's the biggy: When you feed... wait. Spoiler.

Spoiler

When you feed the bird the laxatives, Ian BECOMES STUCK. You need to wait until you have the Snake and the Paint. Use the snake and the paint together, and then use it on the bird before/after giving him the laxatives. This'll unstick you.

[close]

4. Hobo only has one B.
4.5 Don't use the rope on the tree. Don't.
5. Entire game will fuck you over, rape you and leave you in a ditch somewhere.

In my mind, there are two Bs, and everything is perfect and just how it should be.

Except that I forgot to credit SSH. I'm sorry! Did I tell you how HOTTTT I think scottish accents are?

No, no screenie. Go away. And are you calling me a whore?

*uploads a screenshot quietly without anybody noticing*

Here's the NEWER, FIXEDEDER version. It contains less bugs, and more Oomph.

1. Changed intro dialog
2. Added new screen to intro
3. Added hotspot names, interactions
4. Added inventory LOOK interactions.
5. Fixed the GUI
6. Fixed the Window in the Attic.
7. Fixed the USE PILLS thing, the lazy person way.
8. Fixed USE STAIRWAY in the Dream World Entrance.
9. You can now feed the bird.
10. Fixed Sign in Zitrahajin
11. Fixed Barwoman+Dialog
12. Fixed 'Tunnels' intro
13. Wrote a long list of things I fixed
14. Added READ ME FIRST and E Booklet.
15. Credited SSH
16. Edited opening credits
17. Spelled Petteri's Surname.
18. Changed some of the settings randomly.
19. Ripped off the Grim Fandango Help File.
20. Made it to 20 with the list of fixed stuff.



Beyond Reality

Beyond Reality is about a guy, who, you know. Okay so one day he stays in this inn and then this guy steals this kid and then Ian, the guy you are... he meets this girl and he goes after the kid into this DREAM WORLD, and he does all this awesome and cool stuff that's all just a dream, and then he goes to rescue the kid right, and he like, totally rescues the kid. Only for some reason, perhaps to leave room for a sequel or perhaps it was a mistake, but we never rescue the kid. But it's awesome and you will like it.

I think I'm manic depressive.

Right so how would I solve the Direct X problem? Is this like that time I had to turn direct X off/down/something to play the cutscenes from MI3?

I think this computer is on XP.

And should I turn the refresh rate up or down? It's on 75hertz.

Beyond Reality runs like POOPOO on this computer. This isn't my computer, it's somebody elses. It runs as if it's in slow motion. The question is this: WHY!??

1.47GHz
256MB RAM
AMD Athlon somethinoranother

Also running like poopoo are Pirate Fry II and Buccaneer, which run fine on my PC. Hm?

[Hope for the FutureYour brief life touched me.Le gunna sgréach.R.I.P.]

Okay, looks like I was lying to the beta test people. Many tomorrows later, and they never did get it.

Here's the deal.

I'm working. Hard. On Beyond Reality. It's going to be released, tomorrow. Maybe I won't get to upload it to you though, until Monday Night. It depends on how it goes, because the Trade Fair is tomorrow and I'll be up all night polishing this turd. I'm staying over in somebodies house and then I have school on Monday so...

Now all that work I have put in to this has finally not paid off. It's about as long as Scabb Island on MI2. Except imagine Scabb Island was a steaming hot turd. I feel ashamed that I am selling this to people. I should be paying THEM.

But I thought I would tell you this because well, now I have to stay up all night to polish it, so you know, whatever. It'll be released tomorrow. And meanwhile, I have lost all hope for life, my dreams, and the future.




Hope for the Future

Your brief life
touched me.
Le gunna
sgréach.

R.I.P.

And no spelling mistakes. That's an absolute must. Spelling mistakes instantly make it look crap, even if it's awesome.

$9.99 is the best thing that ever happened. Remember, whatever your initial price, TAKE AWAY 1 CENT. It makes it look about ten dollars cheaper.

If it's a good game of course I'd buy it. Although I'd want it to be something original and fun. You really want great characters and unfortunately, I hate saying this but... good graphics. So long as they're WELL DESIGNED and well suited to your game, it doesn't matter if it's Monkey Island 1 good, or Grim Fandango good. Just as long as it's well designed. With nice music. But above all, a nice plot and characters.

And a nice length. With a nice, well driven story.

Innokid. Or however it's spelled.

It doesn't matter about the MP3 thing... the whole SCENE is illegal, dude! You think I bought 25 CDs? D00d, they fell of the back of a lorry!

Well seeing as I'm stealing your stuff now... does anybody else want me to put links to their webpages or anything? If there's anything you, the scamee, would like to put on the CD, just mention it.

And CJ, can I have a nude picture of you to put on the CD labels? They'd sell like hotcakes. In winter. Hotcakes in winter. Yes.

Wow, awesome, two neat games already. Of course, this does mean they'll wonder why mine is quite so crap. But still! I didn't realize you guys were such suckers!  

....Thanks  

I guess now might be a good time to offer you these time shares, huh? There is no better way to invest your hard earned capital!

EDIT: Your entire game, Hobbes? I dunno, I feel lousy and mean.

Well Beyond Reality is finished and I have CDs and CD cases and I'm all set for the Trade Fair on Sunday... is what I would like to say. What I actually have to say is, "I'm trying to make it look not crap before the Trade Fair on Sunday."

Anyway, I'll upload it when it looks less crap. Like when I have actual pictures of the inventory items instead of the Blue Cup standing in for the Rope and the Fire Crackers.

Here's the thing; our Mini Company Coordinator was talking about marketing. Of course I don't expect to sell a particularly crap video game to a bunch of school girls or grannies trading on a sunday. But nonetheless, the effort we put in to advertising gives us 'brownie' points. Besides, if it helps me sell a few copies, I'm happy. And if I'm happy, you're sure as hell happy, maybe. No, that was a lie. Oh dear. Gobshites. Whoops. I mean Suckers. Whoops! I mean friends.

Anyway,

So I was thinking, "What better way to sell than a special offer! Two for the price of one!" And then I thought, "Who the hell would want TWO copies of a game, when they probably know they can just copy it anyway?" So then I thought, "Big Cardboard Stands!" And then I thought, "I'm too lazy to make that." So then I thought, "Free Demoes!" And I thought, "Oh, yeah, and there's only one E in that!" And then I sell the game for $5 with free demos of OTHER games!

See, if I include peoples demos on the CD, it works for both of us! Me and you, we were always such good friends. I get brownie points and make more money! And you get your upcoming/already released game advertised in a real market! The only thing being that when they follow the links to download your game, they'll realize that BR was actually available for free as well, and they've been misled. But that'll be after they've bought a copy already. And by then I'll be gone! It's a little method I like to call, "Geurilla Salefare". And of course, I keep the money I made and you don't get a cent! Can there be a better offer?

So, if anybody would like to donate a game demo or review to put on the Beyond Reality CD, do say so here. You need to do this now, before Saturday Night, because my CDR is slow and I can't burn 25 CDs on Sunday Morning. I know I'm ripping you off, but I'm doing it out of the goodness of my heart, and my burning desire for money and fame. So won't you give those demos a home? Won't you?

This is going AWEsomely. I love all the entries so far. Especially that one.

Yeah and in Australia, they don't sell PCs, because they're upside down over there and they'd fall off the table and break.