Messages

I think the one show that should be kept out of all of them is Call for Help...

SO many people who don't know how to use a computer but can use a phone learned to use their computer through that show...

they taught people who'd never used a computer that they won't break it as soon as they push a button [my mom always thought she'd break the computer but that was mostly cause my dad was always breaking the computer, now she's all over that thang!]

but a call in show where they take calls about advanced computer questions with a live audience? no...

Xplay? Why write into a show with a question you can find on the internet in 3 seconds the same with better reviews?

Unscrewed? Blargh... I think you have to be drunk or stoned to truly enjoy it, or rewrite the entire show in your heard so that they can actually tell a joke...

they're merging with G4?

Blargh... The only show I like on G4 is Icons because everything else can be found on the internet 300 times over. Pulse, they're news on the gaming industry is a weekly show... 1 show repeated all week... the same news.

Portal... if there is anyone here who watches portal and is sad when they miss an episode... I eat you alive...

where am i going with this?

no where, i just don't want to animate the background I just drew cause it has a lot of fire and smoke in it....

Why?

Just to hear the person's voice when they're interviewed?

What the crazy crap are you talking about?

It's a zombie pirate holding a skull, he isn't wearing armor or a mask, he has a beard and a normal mouth, he's wearing a pirate hat and he's on a boat...

crazy crap talkin!

As with Scuthbert, I can't tell what the voices are without reading the text.

"That's the last place I would go" is awkward sounding. It changes from high pitched unintelligible to lower pitched intelligible. Do the same sentence like 6 more times and post them

the P in "peace" pops something fierce, hold the mic away from your face or speak over the mic and with a much louder voice.

Sometimes it's hard to speak normally when you're alone in your room because you feel silly speaking out so maybe get someone in the room and speak to them while you're recording and just start doing the voice and doing the lines, could help.

eric

1: The straight line isn't helping at all

2: why does the path pinch here?

3: this fence could really use some depth to it along with the posts.

4: is this a sconce for a torch? I think it needs much more depth to it cause it looks like a flat plane stuck on the corner of the building.

the circle in the right hand corner, ignore it, I thought you had like signed the background, hehe

the circle in the upper middle, the clouds meet the tip of the hill and blends almost perfectly with it, it needs to overlap more so bring the clouds back a little so the hills look like they're in front of the clouds.

the horizon line is crazy slanted. I noticed the same thing on another of your backgrounds, the background was totally insanely tilted.

also may I suggest darkening the shadows a touch, it's all so light that it barely looks shaded

I also made a little sketch to show how some of the problems could be fixed:



The ground dominates the background you made and it looks awkward, especially with the path, there's not enough foreshortening on the paths, I brought the viewpoint down a few feet so that there's more sky and so that the fence in the foreground becomes the foreground seperating and adding distance to the rest of the objects. [The fence post on the right is in the wrong perspective in my sketch, apparently I'm very silly and didn't watch what I was doing]

In my sketch we now have a definate foreground [fence] middleground [building and path] background [hills buildings and clouds].

vampires:

"I'm a vampire Larry, give me some credit." This doesn't sound like something a head vampire would say. "I'm a vampire." Obviously! And then all the sudden Lamont is stupid again and Larry has to tell him how to do his job that he's been doing for how many years?

"We've got to find a way into this kid's house." He's just explaining things we already know and everyone in the group knows already. Just do it. Have them outside the house, Lamont destroys one of their legs picks him up and says "Remember, we were playing football and you hurt your leg." or something, and then the blood fainting thing, sorry, too jokey, doesn't really belong here. Unless you're trying to make the vampires out to be bumbling burglars like in Home Alone.

"Sarcasm..." Hyuck hyuck hyuck... No.

"Remember, don't let anyone in!" I don't think this is needed, the audience remembers and reminding Vincent this close to him LETTING PEOPLE IN just makes it even more unbelievable.

I don't think Kara is an important or necessary character at all and I wouldn't feel anything if she were taken out completely.

Vincent...... Opens...... The...... Door........ HE JUST KILLED HIS ONLY FRIEND and has spent the last couple hours MAKING WOODEN STAKES TO KILL VAMPIRES WITH!! Why oh why oh why oh why would he even move anywhere close to the door? He obviously doesn't sense any danger [Which he should having just KILLED HIS FRIEND AND IS NOW EXPECTING MORE VAMPIRES TO VISIT] so he isn't trying to save Kara from any danger... So why?

He.... Lets.... People.... Into.... His.... House.... take the majortiy of what I wrote in the last paragraph and apply it here...

"Mother always said..." He didn't even lie very well or anything very elaborate. He just said he knew Vincent so I think this line is a touch over dramatic.

All of the sudden the other vampires can't think without Lamont but before that they were pretty headstrong, disobeying him, interrupting him, telling him what to do. Doesn't make sense.

The banter between the vampires while they trying and knock the door down... Nix it, there's too much talking in this.

What can these vampires do that makes them special? They don't have any more strength than a normal person, they can't fly, they can't turn to mist, they can't hypnotize people, they can't turn into animatls... What I mean is why are they trying to knock down a door? Isn't there some other way to get into that room? Meanwhile 2 more vampires are downstairs and they could help knock the door down, I agree with Iqu [?] who said limit the number of vampires so they are all doing something.

"It isn't that simple!" It appears to be since even stabbing Daniel with a metal knife did the trick.

"Stay here, I'll go check it out..." I don't buy this bravery at all. It makes no sense.

I have to draw question to the ease at which he stabs people through the breast bone with a wooden stake. Especially when Mark is laying dying on the floor and he just jabs it into his own heart through his rib cage... He must be the strongest man alive.

The little chat between Vincent and Klara about being okay. It's like they've been married for years but they haven't even gone out once. Where are these emotions coming from?

Lamont's speech: I don't understand where any of this is coming from. Maybe if we saw him struggling with his emotions before, trying to keep his vampiric side in check I'd believe this speech better but it just comes out of the blue.

Vincent walks in and sits down interested in what a man with a HOLE IN HIS FACE is saying about being a vampire after Vincent has just KILLED 3 PEOPLE!

"Sunlight trinkles" Trinkles, eh? hehe

The note to his parents is another out of the blue thing. Sure it makes a little bit of sense communicating with his parents through notes like they communicate with him but what he says doesn't bring closure to anything. It mentions all this stuff that to me, as a viewer, I wouldn't care about anymore, I'm not thinking about his relationship with his parents, I'm thinking about vampires and fighting and what his decision will be. We learn his decision is to leave [how? it's day time outside] so do we assume he left 4 dead bodies and a gallon of blood in his parent's house?

In my opinion Mark and Kara should not be in this story. They're excess baggage and just bring up question after question after question. Vincent alone fighting these forces without ever going all "WOWIE ZOWIE! Vampires! I better make some wooden stakes!" but just taking it as it comes. Lamont needs to be more of a character, he's pretty generic also, the composed vampire who makes pithy comments and then a long monologue on how horrible it is to be a vampire.

I don't really have any suggestions on what to do for these characters but I think the story is a little too full at the moment, It's bursting with things that need to be edited, characters and dialogue mostly. For instance:

Open on extreme close up of fridge door, on the icon ya know the little swoosh some fridges have. Cut to perspective shot of fridge door, still mostly filling screen, papers all over fridge, cut to close up on fridge pictures of family, pictures of vincent pictures of mom and dad with no vincent or him pushed off to the side of the photo, cut to close up of notes, we can read Dear Vincent and parts of notes so we get the gist that ever note is the same thing, lots of love mom and love dad. Cut to sandwhich half made on counter we can barely see a knife handle in the foreground, cut to vincent standing with his hand slightly outstretched and a scared look of disbelief on his face. Cut to eyes [maybe] cut to wide shot of Vincent standing staring at Daniel with knife in chest still standing, everyone is still as if frozen... Daniel slowly falls over and dies...

I dunno, it's almost 5 am and i really should be in bed. I guess what I want you to get out of this that I wrote above all else is experiement more. Play with the medium of storytelling through moving images. Getting an honest opinion from someone always sucks no matter how cool you appear there's a part of you that's like "Hey! Ouch... But I liked that part! Oh now you're just being a jerk!" But I didn't write any of this to be a jerk. I don't think anyone would put this much work into being a jerk...

Well, I can think of a few people....

All that stuff at the beginning, the reading of the notes and such, it's so heavy handed. Can't you give us this information without a voice over? Through montage? Using a series of cuts showing a collection of notes on the fridge all reading that the parents have left again?

"Abandoning, lying, alcoholic mother..." To me this is just blah blah blah generic. The same with the father. Blah blah blah, same ol' same ol'. Is it really important that we know all this about his parents? I don't think so. We barely see them, they have no lines, Vincent doesn't interact with them and we just have his word on it. I don't buy it.

vampires:

It seems like you're trying to write Lamont as cool but he just comes off as completely clueless. One minute he's smart the next he's stupid the next he's trying to be compassionate. Why does he have kids doing his dirty work? Why does he only hunt kids? He's a vampire, why doesn't he just go out there and take who ever he wants? Why why why... Too many questions for me to submit myself to this character.

back to vince:

"Yea, I guess you're right..." Why does he need someone else to remind him that he doesn't care about his parents? Vincent just got done talking about it for pages before. Why not the other way around, have Daniel mention his missing parents and would they like him being here and then have Vince say "Whatever..."

Why does Daniel attack like this? It makes no sense at all.

"Hot damn I could have told you that one sonny." Ã, Too "hyuck hyuck!" what's the point of him all of the sudden becoming this jokester?

"a blip on the radar screen." that makes him seem important, a blip is usually important not insiginficant.

"stares away imagining popularity" No, I'm sorry. This is dumb. He was just defending himself with a knife from his only friend who is trying to bite him and he's daydreaming? No thank you.

When Daniel dies, Vincent takes it pretty well. He's making jokes and talking like there isn't the body of his only friend laying on the ground leaking blood with a knife sticking out of his chest that he just put there when his only friend tried to attack him ranting something crazy about wanting to eat him. I think that would, to put it bluntly, fuck Vincent up royally. I doubt he'd answer the door or even move for a very long time. If I stabbed my only friend in the chest after he attacked me I wouldn't even be able to talk and if I tried I would probably burst into hysterical tears and lose all strength in my body... I wouldn't show the dead body off to this strange Mark person

If Daniel is Vincent's only friend who's Mark? Why does he go running over to Vincent's house to tell him Daniel is missing? Are they all friends together? Doesn't seem so from the text but they'd have to be otherwise what's the point of Mark caring/coming over?

Why did Mark automatically make the huge mental leap of "dead person on floor == vampire"? That is the LAST thing I imagine anyone ever ever ever would think seeing a dead body on the floor.

Is he wearing a button that says "Ask Me About Me Being A Vampire!" or a shirt that says "I Got Turned Into One Of The Vampiric Undead Cursed To Walk The Night Preying On Human Victims And All I Got Was This T-Shirt"?

Even if someone attacked me saying they wanted to bite my neck I wouldn't think they were a vampire, insane? Yes. I mean they're attacking me, I'm not going to listen to everything they have to say and process it.

Mark wasn't there for any of it, are Daniel's teeth showing? That still isn't enough evidence for me to buy that he can, without a second thought, say that the dead body of Daniel [who apparently is his friend also] is a vampire and not just his dead friend laying on his other friend's floor.

"Yes, we've already established that..." that whole line is to pithy for someone who JUST STABBED HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE CHEST! [sorry to keep ramming this home like a knife into your chest, but it's important to remember]

"Oh my god! They're going to be pissed!" This is like a completely different movie just started up, everyone believes in vampires now? No one remembers the dead body on the floor?

"I'll go get my vampire slaying kit..." Har har... YOU JUST KILLED SOMEONE!

remo: according to Esseb it was made for a christmas party and only ment to be shown internally

Spoiler

hur hur hur internally

[close]

I think they forgot the clever military satire from the first one too...

Oh yes, allow me to also recommend Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris... Hilarious

Um... I hate commercials in general because a lot of them are really stupid... Which includes tampon ads... Does mean I have a weird denial of girls having periods?

My girlfriend even hates them, is she crazy in the brain? Or maybe they're just dumb commercials and it has very little to do with the subject matter...

Huh... Who'da thunk of that...

Demorgon, you're acting like an idiot. I don't see Andail swearing constantly and threatening to kick people's asses.

He called your posts silly and you respond with swearing and threats.

You read like you're 6 years old...

Grow up a little and get the hell off the forums to cool down.

And wow, I could really give a crap if you think I'm cool or not because you really are not acting like anyone who's opinion I'd care about in the slightest.

yea you better apologize! who do you think you are? stick to giving advice in the beginners tech that actually helps people and leave the big questions to the big boys...

now if you'll excuse me i'll go back to moderating a forum full of fart and poop jokes.........

Eric "Big Boy" Colossal

what are you talking about scumm?

he's not talking about scrolling rooms he means an infinitely walkable room where you can constantly go right and eventually you'll loop around to the start again without leaving the room

if you're going to read the house of leaves DON'T read anything else about it online

DO NOT let reviews ruin the book for you!

this is all I ask...

I reread the Hitchhiker's Guide again and man, it's not what it used to be when I was younger.

But anyway, best discworld book ever? Nightwatch.

Best book ever? The House of Leaves

Best book ever again? Even Cowgirls Get The Blues.

heh ashen, my friend made up a game where if you're the first one in the line of stopped cars then stop a few feet before you're originally stop and then after a few seconds creep up a foot and then count the cars that follow you, the more cars that follow the more points you get

GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

No Raggit, it's ok, compared to Demogon I think it's safe to say that you're poo does not indeed stink.

He's acting like a troll and it doesn't appear he has anything interesting or serious to post so just don't bother with him.

What makes me mad is people who create rules for everyone else and not themselves. People who get angry at drivers who don't GO GO GO as soon as the green light changes and then when they just don't notice the green light change and get honked at they get all angry and upset.

Consistency is all I ask for.

http://www.thememoryhole.org/war/iraqis_tortured/

there you go, there are pictures and all the nudity is blurred out...

Demorgon, what are you talking about? Are you serious or just being stupid and trying to start a flame war?

No I didn't abandone it. I don't abondone my babies, I sell them into white slavery.

But yes, the game is still being worked on, I'm just very very slow...

It'll come out and then you can play it and tell me how awesome it would have been 3 years ago