I didn't grow up in a religious household at all but society instilled the belief in god in me. Not really any certain religion just that there is a god and it wants you to be good. I was never good for the sake of god or a Jesus.. I mostly just prayed to god to give me the ability to fly [seriously]. I remember an english teacher in middle school asked everyone to write on a peice of paper "What colour do you think god is?" and she read them out, most people wrote "white" and I she was making an awkward point about race but I remember thinking back on that the following weeks and being "What was that about? And why didn't I write "There is no god"?" Probably because I didn't want to be the odd man out.
Even when I realized how silly religion and belief in god or the paranormal is I still had the "Wow it would suck if I was wrong!" thoughts from time to time, like you Raggit. Luckily that's pretty much all dead now. Listening to The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe [excellent podcast http://www.theskepticsguide.org/], reading Dawkins and Shermer, reading the Randi.org commentary... All of these helped to solidify the fact that there is nothing to be wrong about. I didn't see it as deprogramming until I finally took stock of what was left of that "What if...?" in my head and realized that the question was gone. I feel so much better/happier now. So basically what I say is, good luck Raggit and if you ever want help deprogramming, I've got some links!
Eric
Even when I realized how silly religion and belief in god or the paranormal is I still had the "Wow it would suck if I was wrong!" thoughts from time to time, like you Raggit. Luckily that's pretty much all dead now. Listening to The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe [excellent podcast http://www.theskepticsguide.org/], reading Dawkins and Shermer, reading the Randi.org commentary... All of these helped to solidify the fact that there is nothing to be wrong about. I didn't see it as deprogramming until I finally took stock of what was left of that "What if...?" in my head and realized that the question was gone. I feel so much better/happier now. So basically what I say is, good luck Raggit and if you ever want help deprogramming, I've got some links!
Eric