Messages

Just a quick tip. Normally screenplays are written from the inside, meaning you put down the basic premise first in one, two sentences. Then move on to the synopsis, plot outline, treatment, and then the first draft. This helps you greatly getting the structure right (acts, plot points, "the dramatic curve"), having only the scenes you need in the script and so on. It seems you're writing from the outside, right onto the first draft. That normally means you'll get stuck at some point, unless you're a true genius.

I really enjoyed this one, great job. Love the style + colors.

I'm no expert in the English language, but I thought the last sentence was really heavy. Maybe try splitting it up? I like how the use of two boxes works in the first panel.

It's a clear improvement, but like Chicky said, you should really look into reducing the resolution for your game. There are too many big empty spaces.


Some quick ideas:

There are plenty of threads on simple, one-point perspective use, read some of those I halfway fixed the bed and right nightstand. The sofa should be bigger, but this perspective-cheat is acceptable if you don't want to scale the character too much.
Added some quick shading. This is the evening/nighttime version, but how should I know what time it is. Maybe some windows would be a good addition.
Try working with less saturated colors. Much better on the eye.

Idea - esper. Brutal.
Atmosphere - gypsysnail
Design - gypsysnail
Composition - Postmodern_Boy
Functionality - esper
Technique - gypsysnail. I really like that painting - superb atmosphere. Would like to see a slightly better scan/photo of it - darker with less grain. I suppose it'd work best with a 1st person type of adventure?

Thumbs up!

Billy Crystal

I remember this one, and will update too! Loved it, and am very excited about a full length sequel!

BTW I understood your post perfectly.

So, you don't believe those with an interest in seeing that would have been able to find it themselves?

I'm with Zoot on this one, noone has the right to take lives, not even Saddams.

Really nice. The only thing I'd do is try making the arms look more a part of the body, esp. in the front view they seem a bit "tacked on" because of their outline. There's no real "shoulder effect". It's really no big deal, but there's so many other sweet details in this animation (nice hands!).

It's not technically perfect, but if you aim for that, you risk losing the great personality present in this style. I'd say go with it!

What makes the walk look a bit "off" might be that the head+shoes+arms are in profile, while the body is not. Maybe you could transfer the body animation to a diagonal cycle (it's so nice, it'd be a shame to ditch it), and create a new one for the sideview? Also, I like how every line is animated, I'd suggest animating the head to. Might be as simple as drawing another frame or two in the head-tween to make it all "wiggly". At least, when the head is tiliting, the pupil should be moved to focus is the same direction. The character is really cool. Not your typical, stereotype confident detective face.

I think it's a nice room. I like the design on some of the stuff, the phone table in particular.

You've mentioned the shade on the roof, it is indeed very disturbing.

I'm really no good with 3D, but made some suggestions anyway. I thought the red was too saturated, and threw in a couple of ideas for detailing;


I could have added more stuff, like something on the desk, maybe some variations in the bookshef, and perhaps a different color on the phone..


As already said, you should fix the texture on the back wall. Even edit the map in a paint program if you can't get the UVW right.

Keep up the good work!

[Idea]

Idea - Nihylist for the RPG choice. I liked Mikko's setting also.
Atmosphere - This is where most entries shine (as opposed to really great ideas...but I guess the theme makes it hard to improvise). I think everyone managed to bring a lot of atmosphere to their pieces. I will vote for Loominous though, it's a variation from the other nighttime settings, the washed autumn colours are carefully chosen. But again, everyone did very well here.
Design - Privateer Puddin'. A bit funky, but interesting. Expressionist.
Composition - Tocsik. I like it; symmetry, Kubrick style.
Functionality - Buckethead. Plenty of useable space.
Technique - Loominous. It'd be cool if you shared some of your brushing tricks

Nice entries all over this time.

Some people spend 4-12 hours (or more) creating a background, I like to think others may have 5-10 minutes to write what they think.

Basically, both suggestions seem almost the same. I'd go for version 2. For some reason, finding the BG with best atmosphere seems less work than finding the BG with best atmosphere, mood and emotion combined. Even if it's basically the same. More voters=more detailed information on the appeal of your work.

A brief explanation of the categories in the thread, and everyone should be fine.
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I think 6 categories is enough. It's good for feedback, and learning where to improve. But I prefer much more when people write up what they think about your work in their own words (like some people here thankfully do, I wish more would. I'll try to improve on that aswell.). It's like reading a review of your work instead of just noticing how many stars out of five you got.

That being said, the Background Blitz is alive and well, and a great place to challenge yourself.

In Ivy's paintover the furniture looks better. Not only because of the table dimensions, but also due to higher contrast. Maybe you should boost it some, to make it grab the attention more. With the wall I suggest going the other way. Also, the part where it meets the floor looks unnatural, try rounding off the stems.

Totally amazing, Ago!

I think it's pretty good! The style choices are good for this genre - the colors used and hm... "un-perfect" lineart. You might want to clean up the text bits though (and a little spelling). The visual information of each panel seems quite well thought out, I esp. like the eyes, mouth and flesh of panel 4. I also like not showing his face at the end. To challenge yourself more, you could try leaving out some of the textual explanations (I only have this... I have to do this...) and tell the same things more visually.

[Chicky]

Pfff... so damn hard.

Best Idea: Chicky, that has to be the best idea ever!
Best Design: Scotch. I like how the triangular shapes are implemented. The centre - the dark hole - is an amazing touch. Great colors. I love this piece!
Best functionality: Mikko. Everything is clearly laid out in a still very artful and moody BG (I was planning on doing a piano myself until I saw this and had to think up something else!).
Best technique: Loominous. Sven Nykvist - the master of light - recently passed away (RIP), but there appears to be another master of light living and well in Sweden... In the BG Blitz he seems to always be a step ahead, although there were some great competition in this category, like pixel-master buloght, the great palette and style (and theme) from Penguin, and Andail's romantic location. Scotch and Mikko also considered here of course.

So much greatness, so few votes to give

EDIT: Spelling