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A lot of my favorites are on the Simpson's (when Bart pranks Moe's Tavern):
Hugh Jass
Ivanna Tinkle
Amanda Hugginkiss
Seymour Butz
Sharon Peters
Sharon Needles

I used to be a telemarketer for a window company, and I would come across real people with funny names all the time:
Jack Stubbendick (<--my favorite)
Patty O'Doors
Carl Fuchs (pronounced FYOOKS, but you know how I really pronounced it...)
Roger Koch (prounounced COOK, but you know how I really pronounced this one too...)
Dick Greasy
Dick Long
Dick Short
Long Dong (I shit you not...)
Jimmy Wang Jr.
Anita Hooker

Well, I played guitar in a band a few months ago (we never all actually agreed on a name) all we ever really did was practice.  We only played at one party (60 or so people), and the neighbor's called the cops, so that cut the party short when everyone started to pile out of the house.

I quit that band after things just stopped working (none of us were on the same page, I felt like I was the only motivated one), and now I'm starting a new band called Dead Cell.  I haven't even found time to get to know my new bandmates yet because I'm working all the time.

Other than that, I've had 1 or 2 jam buddies over the years, and I've only played for small groups of people.  Sometime soon, I'd like to start playing the bar scene... it'd be nice if I could make it my job one day, but something tells me that's probably not going to happen.  ...there just is no band circuit out here in the butthole of the earth...  I'd like to at least make one album during my lifetime.

I'll always play my guitar though... even if the band thing doesn't work out.  Hell, if I can't find a good band, then I'll be my own band.

When I was a little boy, the only kinds of movies that ever scared me, or gave me nightmares were zombie flicks.  "Return Of The Living Dead, Part 2" and the music video for Michael Jackson's "Thriller" always did a real number on me...  So anything with Zombies... like "Day Of The Dead" (I just bought the DVD, hell yeah!), "Return Of The Living Dead", Lucio Fulci's "Zombie", "Resident Evil", or even "28 Days Later".  You just can't go wrong with the living dead...

A few other good ones are "They", "They Live"... I rented one about werewolves that wasn't too bad, I think it was called "Dog Soldiers".

From what I understand, they're even working on a second "Resident Evil" film, due out in 2004... I believe it's called "Resident Evil: Apocalypse".  I don't have an URL for it, so check Google.

I never had to worry about this kind of thing because I haven't seen my dad in since I was two (nineteen years ago).  All I know about him is his name, I have a few photographs of him, and I have a few blurry memories (mostly of him yelling at me).  He never sent me a birthday card, never called or tried to visit, he's only paid his child support once.

My mom says he's probably living up in Michigan by the rest of his family, and that he's a big herion addict.  Funny thing is, his mom and dad live in Wausau, WI (that's an hour from me)... I could just go see them and ask them what I want to know, but...

So I've spent the majority of my life growing up in a house full of women.  I had a stepdad, but he was an asshole and all he ever did was work and sleep, so I guess he might as well not have been around either.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand... that is a really screwed up situation.  But I suppose, your parents probably just wanted you and your brother to grow up happy instead of in a broken home, that's why they kept the whole thing quiet.

It'd be a prison colony like Australia used to be.

Oh, yeah... and the national anthem would be "F***ing Hostile" by Pantera.

Well, I could be Kramer... I just do weird stuff... unless. naw, I think I'm more like George's Dad... I think I'm probably more like him because when I start talking, I'll be speaking quite normally, but then I'll gradually start to raise my voice.  By the time I'm finished talking, I'm screaming my head off.

My favorite episode?  Either the soup Nazi, or the one with the censorship bleeps (...and something about non-fat frozen yogurt...).

.8 BAC on one beer Bodyart? If I remember right one beer to a .8 BAC for men is like 100 pounds ... I'll look that up... Anyway, happy birthday!

0.08, not 0.8

Even though there isn't much to me anyway. (only about 165 lbs.)

I wish I lived in Canada... 19 is the legal limit there. Naw, screw canada... I wish I lived in Germany...

Germany:

beer: 16
spirits: 18
speed limit on highways: none

You mean only on the Autobahn, right?

Dude, there's nothing wrong with you, seriously... I think people who get sick are perfectly normal.

I, on the other hand, almost never get sick... I've never had a broken bone either.  I can't remember the last time I even had a cold.  I never have a valid reason to take the day off from work...

Hope you get better soon.  Make yourself some chicken soup.

Ladies and gentlemen... Sully is finally legal.   I can buy my own beer!  YES!

Funny thing is... I've been to numerous bars, and bought my own beer a few times, but I've never been carded once yet...

If I had known it was going to be that easy, I wouldn't have waited until I was 21 to be an alcoholic.    Do you know how L-L-L-O-O-O-N-N-N-G-G-G these last few months have been?

I wish I lived in Canada... 19 is the legal limit there.  Naw, screw canada... I wish I lived in Germany... what's the legal limit there?  5?

It kinda sucks though... Wisconsin just lowered the BAC limit to 0.08 from 0.1.  So according to the law, if I have one beer... I'm too drunk to drive.

Now where do people find all these cars?

Being a student, I think I'll be able to buy a car in 2005, provided I start saving up now

If you're asking that with my post in mind... this is the farm country of Wisconsin, everybody has about 17 cars or trucks sitting in their yard, whether they work or not.  Automobiles are dirt cheap out here, you'll always find someone selling a beater for about $100 because it's got something wrong with it or it has too many miles on it.

Well, I HAD a dark red 1989 Pontiac Grand Am LE with over 170,000 miles on it...  I loved that car... but then I hit a deer with it...

Now, I drive a grey 1989 Pontiac 6000 LE with about 70,000 miles on it... and I hate that car and wish I could hit a deer with it.

My stepdad has a black 1968 Charger sitting in our barn... it could use some body work and some re-upholstering, but I'd love to have that car... even if it only gets about 10 miles to the gallon... either that or a GTO Judge.

'Sup, Leks?  Welcome back. 8)

 :oWho's the other person from Wisconsin on the map?
...It's too small and I can't quite read it... I thought I was all alone out here...

Sully is 46% gay!

Apparently, I'm a happy and well adjusted hetero man.  (thank god...)

What can I say?  I've been under a lot of stress lately; I haven't had any close friends to confide in for months... and I feel like I'm starting to lose it...  I feel like the walls are closing in, and everyone's out to stick a knife in my back... I haven't had a panic attack since high school, now I'm up to once a week... I always worry about what's happening with important things in my life, and I get agitated really easy; and the thing is I don't need anyone to agitate me, all I have to do is think of something that pisses me off, and off I go, like a rocket... I can never stop thinking.

I haven't had a good night at work in about 2 1/2 months... when I'm at work, I'm always thinking things like, "my parents hate me, my girlfriend is cheating on me, I'm never going to finish high school, I'm going to be stuck at this same crappy job until the day I die... or I'm going to lose my job and I'll never be able to find a one for months...".

I've had problems with depression for as long as I can remember because of a chemical imbalance, I'm probably bi-polar, I've got problems controlling my temper, I've got ADHD, hypertension, and as of late, I've got some new problems that I would rather not mention, but I would like to know what you think:  What makes a person crazy?  What would a doctor look for in order to label you as crazy?

Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone on here is having troubles lately?

"Fantasy" by definition is something ficticious. I was just saying that the phrase "ficticious works of fantasy" is redundant.

Actually, wouldn't it be more like a double negative?...  you know, "Don't not lie to Neil", which really says, "Do lie to Neil"... so, "fictitious works of fantasy" would probably really mean "non-fiction"...

...hoo-boy... gotta stop smoking out of a copper pipe...

Anyways, some cliches that I see way too often:
1. The whole main-character has amnesia (or can't remember anything before one point in his life). and has all these strange abilities that he/she can't explain.
2. "The villian killed my father/my family/destroyed my village/etc" scenario.
3. Laser guns, too Flash Gordon-ish.
4. It seems like every story I read, or game I play, the protagonist always has to save the world from something evil... I wish I would come across a story where the main character wouldn't be playing the hero, or would be the villain, or have a more personal agenda. (... bah... this one is starting to sound stupid...)

Somewhere on RPGToolkit forums, one member's signature was one big list of cliches that you often find in common, garden variety RPG's... lemme see if I can track it down...

Well, I don't quite remember... but I know I wanted to be an archaeologist when I was in grade school, a comic artist in junior high, and a rock star in high school, and now I'm going for a five year degree in computer programming...

I guess though, I'd have to go with BOYD1981...

PANTERA, Down, Cold, Godsmack, Taproot, Crazy Town, Slipknot, Stone Sour, Mushroomhead, Cannibal Corpse, Kittie, Six Feet Under, Spineshank, Mudvayne,  Rammstein, Otep, Static-X, The Union Underground, Systematic, Brujeria, The Murderdolls, Nothingface, Meshuggah, Anthrax, Soulfly, old Sepultura, etc.

Just picked up Seether, not bad.

All I can say is that I feel your pain.  (corny but true)  Life sucks and everything bad has to happen all at once... you've got no one to talk to and the things that you once found fun aren't so fun anymore... you try to take your mind off of it but everything you look at reminds you that you're miserable... when you look out the window, you don't see anything pretty anymore... it feels like there's no tomorrow and you'll never be happy again.

...which is why I'm so pessimistic.  I know how you're feeling, I've dealt with it all my life too.

Here's my advice:
- Mittens, I don't know anything about... so I'll refrain from commenting.
- Your girl... drop kick the bitch to the curb!  Don't ever eat dirt for someone else... especially a woman! (no offense, ladies.)  Always kinda feels like you're the last one to know about stuff like that...
- Your tests; can you retake them?  Depending on how much of your grade they make up, it's probably not so bad, it'll lower your grade a bit, but as long as you're doing really good in your classes... talk to your teachers, maybe they'll understand your situation... some teachers in my school let me out of class because they said they couldn't expect me to pass if I was depressed like that...
- As for your friends... hmm... 11 months... well, you could try making some new friends (I shouldn't really talk because I'm no good with people...)

You can get my e-mail from my site if you wanna talk more.  Enjoy your vacation, hope it helps some.