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Yuf, some things make NO sense, and then YOU come along and just explain it oh-so-perfectly...

You get 3 points!

Not too sure, but I think you're asking the impossible if you want free hosting without banners - unless someone has a subdomain they're willing to lend you or something equally crazy.

But I'm angry and bitter about this years Valentines, anyway...

SSH: Yeah, that probably sounded a bit like I was blaming God. Which I'm not. As I said, I was just a teeny little bit pissed off. More than anything it's the addage that "God will not test you with anything that you cannot handle". And I had to handle this bloody thing for years, and instead of getting easier day by day, it got harder. That STILL probably sounds like I'm blaming God, so I guess in some obscure way I probably am, but I'm not gonna walk around saying "God dumps crap on people and never takes it off". I realise it is a persons own responsibility to help themselves, but I absolutely poured myself into the bible, into its teachings, into church, into theological studies to give me strength. And to no avail, it would seem. I don't know how much more I could've helped myself, to be honest.

Geoff: Maybe I just read your post wrong, but it seemed like you were backing off because you thought I was getting pissed off with you? Not the case, but either way, if you've got nothing to add...well, that hasn't stopped anybode ELSE so far...

Geoff: Yes, as ironic as it sounds, I've prayed very fervently about it. For about the last 3 or so years actually, every single day, probably twice or more a day. I prayed that God would take away this 'sin' from me, and well, quite frankly, after that long, I grew kind of sick of it.

If I could endure something so heinous to christianity for 3 years without succumbing to it, and God STILL does not get rid of it, then something's wrong. Okay, okay, I'm not trying to bag out Christianity here, or any religion or anything. I'm just kind of bitter for those 3 years that were, ultimately, in vain.

Get a new computer.

Heh. There's a SLIGHT difference between shrimp and homosexuality according to the bible. The New Testament rendered eating shrimp CLEAN. It said nothing about us gay people, and therefore we are STILL to rely on the word of the old testament (which is pretty clear). Yes, we are to believe the N.T, but that doesn't mean we are to ignore the OLD testament.

Although I really do appreciate your support. It's kind of a mind-battle for me. I spent so long trying to 'talk myself out' of being gay that I learnt basically every argument against gays on the way, and as much as I hate it, I can refute nearly everything people say in support. Yeah, sure it goes against the whole point of it, since it's being said in SUPPORT of me and I'm shooting it down... but... um... I think there was some sort of point to this. I hope you can see where I was going, cause I sort of confused myself.

ANYWAY. Mostly, you're right - I would hate for my parents to die and not know the 'real' me. But they already know I'm gay. Not because I've dropped them a million hints, and not because I wear pink shirts with flared jeans and have vanilla-scented cologne, and not because the people I go clubbing with are in tight mid-riffs and singing Cher. They know because they're mum and dad and they have this stupid thing called intuition. They know, but they don't want to accept it, and they won't let me tell them. And as much as they will love me regardless of it, there is such a thing as good and bad timing.

And this, I am afriad, is BAD timing...

Oh, and I agree COMPLETELY that you shouldn't be having sex on your sisters bed. Or your aunts, or whoever. Just borrow the pillows or something...

It's like fate! Someone dug up one of your posts from like a year ago, Darth said "isn't he off spreading the good news?" And like INSTANTANEOUSLY (not quite) you drop into existence again!

It's not really that amazing when I type it...

Oh well, here's hoping everything goes according to plan for you! Good luck!

Yeah, I nearly cried when I heard that one the news. Well, a man-cry. Which is just watery eyes, basically.

The crucible was one of the most powerful plays I've ever read, and I loved Arthur Miller ever since.

I'm sure he got a big old Pulitzer Prize as he went through the pearly gates...

Thanks Bernie

I phoned around today, trying to find a doctor/clinic that will do it relatively cheap/free. Didn't have the nerve to actually make the appointment, but I've narrowed it down to two places that I'm likely to go.  I nearly went to my family doctor about it, but decided against it. He's christian too, and has always liked us for our christian principles. I really trust him and feel like I can talk to him about most things, but I'd hate to see his face if I mentioned I needed an hiv test. Good golly he'd die.

And I also phoned around to see if I could complain about my discriminatory managers. Didn't find anyone who was willing to listen to my case, but I'll be damned before I give up. Well, I suppose according to the bible I already AM damned, so I guess I'm free to give up anytime soon...

Thanks dead

My parents ARE homophobic. Actually, I'd take that further and say they're just downright anti-gay. However I know they love me and will learn to accept who I am with time. The problem simply lies with the fact that I'd have to tell them everything at once. It's not as easy as just saying I'm gay. I'd have to tell them that within the first year of my openly gay life, I may have already contracted hiv, which wouldn't do much to help their perception of the gay community, and would probably send them into panic over-drive.

I know that they legally don't have much/any control over my social/private/sex life and that I don't have to inform them of everything. And I certainly DON'T tell them everything. But, well, this just isn't something that I'd consider being "one of those things". As I said before (I think it was in this forum...) I'm just gonna take it one day at a time...

Hehe, I might lodge a complaint just to get under their skin! I'm looking to get a job somewhere else anyway, so when I do, I think I'm gonna say bye with a bang

Actually... don't ask what made me think of it, but there's a small deli section in the shop where I occasionally have to slice meats and stuff. If I ever cut myself (I think it's only happened once before?) of course I wouldn't give them any meat that came in contact with it, but if I've got hiv, then I wouldn't really be allowed to touch the meat at all. Would I? It probably wouldn't be terribly wise in any case.

Oh, I never forgot my safety, but there are countless ways to catch hiv. They say you can't catch it from kissing, but if both people have mouth ulcers, then anything's possible. Not to mention the more probable methods of contraction. Better safe than sorry, even if turns out to be very sorry indeed. Apparently around 70-80% of people with hiv+ partners wil catch it themselves. Mostly that's because they were just plain careless, but that's still a stupidly high percentage. No idea what the ratio's like elsewhere, but it's got me scared crapless, I'll say that much.

Oh, and by the way, I never noticed your sig before Bt, and I don't know why I noticed it now, but I like that quote. "Enjoy every sandwich". Don't know what it means to you, but suddenly it means an awful lot to me.

[/becomes 70 years old and starts reflecting on the golden days when everything had so much meaning]

I'm -sure- there are people that make it further than 20 years.

There damn well better be

Farlander! Bloody hell! I know you were trying to give words of comfort and understanding, but...

there's people living healthy with HIV, for more than 20 years

So I guess I'm due to die around 39, then. Comforting indeed.

Don't worry, no offence taken. Just sort of gave me a jolt, that's all.

And yes, definitely praying for a negative result.

My family don't really know. Well, okay, that's not true. They know in their heart of hearts (my dad's already bought a few books all about how to deal with your "sinful gay son"), and I've dropped them plenty of hints, but I haven't sat them down and told them straight to their face "I'm gay". That's largely because I'm going through a pretty rough time right now (my b/f broke up with me a week before christmas because he has HIV) and that's something I'm not really prepared to talk about right now. Thinking I'm gay is "bad" enough for them - they'd die if I told them I had to go for an aids test soon...

Mostly everyone else knows. Even my ex-girlfriend (who I only went out with to try and prove that I wasn't gay - we're best friends now). I think I'm going to get HER to come with me when I go for the tests - no way I could do it on my own.

There are a few friends who I haven't told. I would regard them as fairly close, but they are relatively homophobic. I appreciate the addage 'if they're friends they'll accept you for who you are' but that's a lot easier said than done. Oh, and the managers at work don't know, for the very same reason. My last shift one of them spent the ENTIRE night cracking anti-gay jokes, and telling me how sick and un-natural it was. I had to grin and bear it. I would've said something if I could afford to not have a job, but I can't. Everyone else in the complex knows, though, so I go and talk to them instead

Whew, okay, that was more a ramble than I expected. The sort of thing I'd put in a journal. Oh well, I hope it at least answered your question. Not out to EVERYONE, but MOST of them.

how do you know he admired him?
he could have just posted that because he found out and didn't have anything else to do and assumed that he's the only person that knows.

I'm sorry boyd - I love you, you know that (not like THAT) - but that just made me laugh. I'm not saying these forums are void of attention-seeking, whoring dummies, but Bluke isn't one of them (from what I can tell). And as much as I agree that celebrities more often than not get worshipped for dumb reasons, Ossie wasn't one of them. This guy was like Saint Theresa except black and male and slightly less wrinkled. And more fluent english.

Faux homophobe? I guess that made sense to someone. That I fake being afraid of gay people or something. Something... I forget where this was going exactly. But it was something partially derogatory towards you, possibly involving a mullet, I really can't remember. But take offense anyway...

I never said anything LIKE that!

[/runs and edits ALL posts pertaining to gay people not contained within this thread]

I could tell you a little more about that story, but I just don't think you people are ready to handle it...

Off topic - well, sort of - what was I even getting at there? Was I saying semen gives you mouth cancer or something equally disturbing? I'd go and find it... but, you know... not in my nature and stuff...

It got repetitive at 15, I got bored around 30, but stuck it through to 54, wherein it just got too stupid. As terran said, overlaying images isn't HARD, but what's the point? I think the only level I actually LIKED was the one with twix in it. It was totally convoluted, but it had sense to it. The picture actually related to what was going on, and if you typed in stuff the wrong way around it gave you a hint that actually made it clear what you were supposed to do. It's not like there's an actual PURPOSE to much else of it. But - as has been said - it was fun while it lasted.

www.somethingawful.com

That's like saying "who's tubgirl"??

Oh, and if you don't know - SERIOUSLY don't ask...