Messages

Night Of The Backseat Drivers?

Will I finally be able to purchase ab official plain blue cup?!?  Awesome! 

Ah. I see it now. Very cool. And I'll have you know I meant shoddy in the very nicest meaning of the word. 

"WE WANT TROPHIES!", I hear you cry... 

Well, trophies are here!  The product of much love and a complete lack of artistic talent.

Wow! Look at those things! So shoddy and yet so sincere -- they're like three little Charlie Brown Christmas trees! 

That cinches it, I MUST write a story now. 

We need to get this guy on our side. Clearly we can't get out of here on our own. We need someone who actually knows what the hell is going on.

> Say "Sorry. Shouldn't have said that. I don't know what came over me. I've been under a lot of stress tonight... How are you holding up, buddy? Would you like a Hot Pocket? I know where there's a bunch of them."

Pumpkin-Carver II: Jack Goes To Subway?

It's a riveting tale. The middle-aged, obese, pumpkin-headed serial killer from the first movie realizes that he'd have much more luck catching victims if he didn't have a 51 inch waistline. So he embarks on a very strict diet.

By the end of the movie, he's down to a 32 inch waistline and catching college kids like he did when he was just a thrill killer back in high school.

It's an incredibly gory, life-affirming tale of sadism and inspiration. Even better than "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" (though not quite as gross as that one -- veggie smoothies? Yuck!). 

Blacktop Bob: The Search For Speed Bumps?

And a happy new year!  (I'm already bracing myself for the hangover) 8)

Jack Burton's Revenge?

No Festivus pole in that picture? I feel left out. 

Happy holidays, Dave. Thanks for all your hard work for the bake sale. 

And the leaking Wooden beaker goes to...Ponch!  

Woot! My cunning plan paid off! The leaky beaker is minez!!1!   

Congrats, Captain. And thanks, Kconan. Fun contest.

Just in time for Christmas, here's my third favorite Christmas movie:

Guess number 1 is Diehard and number 2, Scrooged ?

Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, First Blood. The perfect trio of Christmas action movies. I watch them every year.  

Captain D: Blade Runner?

@Ponch First Blood

Yep! An underrated Christmas classic. 

Your turn, sir!

Just in time for Christmas, here's my third favorite Christmas movie:

It's so startling that I feel like I'm in your living room with my boots on your coffee table. Could you pass the doritos, please?

Kill Bill vol 1?

Excellent news! To the Funk-O-Oven! 

I don't like the way he's holding that whip, or the bizarre grin on her face.  Is this some kind of circus porno, Eggie?

I DO like the way he's holding that whip and the grin on her face.

Quick! Someone guess the name of this movie so I can rent it! TONIGHT!! 

It was a tough one, but I'm voting for Cap'n D. Both were entertaining, but I'm just not one for poetry.

So there's a two-way tie for first place. Ponch falls behind the pack with zero votes. That leaky wooden beaker looks to be a lock! 

[shouldn't]

...and a frustrating maze sequence

With such warm and loving feedback like this, is there any reason I shouldn't make another? 

Exactly! Now merry whatnot and get to work. 

In these dark and uncertain times, we need a good laugh (and a frustrating maze sequence ). The AGS Community needs a sequel, ProgZ. We NEED one. 

I cast my vote for Limey Lizard II in 2012.