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"You tried" is the highest pinnacle an OSD game should strive for. Any higher than that and you've gone too far and accidentally made a real game, and that won't do for OSD at all.

Best character: Baron
Best setting: Stupot±
Best writing/wording: Mandle (because limericks!)
Best prophecy: Stupot± (I'd give it to Babar to keep the joke going, but I just learned how to make that ± symbol )
(also, happy birthday, Babar!)

Boink!

Merry Christmas!

Holy cow, is it this time again already!?

I can only hope that the scrappy little Terror of the Ice Princess has a lock on the "you tried" category!

Happy b-days to Andail, Retrojay, Noavana, Le Woltaire, and anyone else I missed recently.

Thanks for all your hard work, Mark. And welcome, Cat.

I hate seeing the tumbleweeds blowing back and forth across the FWC thread.   I'd have written something, but damn do I hate steampunk. It's just painfully twee.


Best Character: Blondbraid
Best Setting: Stupot
Best Plot: Blondbraid
Best Word Choice: Stupot
Best Technical Innovation: Blondbraid
Most Substantive: Blondbraid

Congrats to the writers!

Happy b-day VeryWeirdCJ

Happy Snarkyday!

I wasn't expecting to learn that Ben is cruel to children who can't afford nice Halloween costumes.

Blade Runner?

Excellent episode! Shocked to hear that Ben's gigantism puts Grundy at such a disadvantage in feats of physical strength.

Looking forward to the next episode and the annual updating of the title of this thread.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, everyone!

And happy b-days to Ben, Baron, Cat, Haggis, Sinitrena, and everyone else I've missed!

What? I have to make my own trophy out of construction paper and paper towel tubes? Again?!? Man, there's just no justice in the world.

Congrats to all the winners (all the other competitors but me)!

Best Character: Gurok
Best Setting: Sinitrena
Best Plot Despite Format: Sinitrena
Best Use of Biblical Verse: "My mother is immaculate!" made me giggle out loud. Gurok
Greatest Truth: Sinitrena

Good work all 'round

I need no deadline extension for I bring the word to the people.

This incredibly short, incredibly apocryphal book of the Bible can only be found in the few surviving copies of the Unauthorized King James Version [UKJV] that weren't quite sensibly burned by the Catholic Church centuries ago. I present it to you unedited and without comment.


The Book of Moo

     ¹ When Moses did not come down from the mountain, the Israelites gathered up all the gold jewelry from their wives and daughters and gave it to Aaron, the much cooler brother of Moses, and not a rock climbing prophet but instead a pimp of much finery. And Aaron did take the gold and cast it into the fire whereupon the bling was melted throughout. And Aaron did shape and fashion the molten gold until it was in the shape of a calf and the Israelites were bedazzled by the golden cow for greatly gaudy it was and all who saw it were overwhelmed by the stupefying ostentatiousness.

     ² And lo did the people fall on their knees before its betwinkled gleamingness. Aaron did begat instructifying the peeps in his pimptastic manner as how to best pay homage to him for his amazingly shiny handicraft but the golden cow spoke first causing Aaron to fall silent and huddle in fear inside his great pimpcoat of many colors, purple being the most numerous of the colors. The people trembled too and so trembled too the livestock who were in especially in awe of the golden calf's soothing voice and gleaming pageantry.

     ³ Said the golden cow to the people, "Know thee, children of Israel, that pleather is an abomination. Ye shall wear it not for it is displeasing to the cow. Likewise ye shall not wear vinyl. Neither PVC nor latex nor polyurethane shall ye wear. And never shall ye wear naugahyde, for it the most abominable of these things. And never shall ye upholster your chariot seats with naugahyde for only hell fire awaits those for whose buttocks have known the cushioning softness of such a comfy abomination. Never ever ever shall ye wear or sit upon any hide that is not from the blessed cow. Only that which moos may be butchered for hide." And at these words the lowing livestock became sore afraid.

     ⁴ The golden calf sayeth, "Know ye that vegetable-based alternatives to leather are suitable only for hippies and vegans, both of whom are especially abominable in the eyes of the cow. Leather is fine and fine leather jackets are best of all. Sell ye them door to door." And here did Moses return from his forty days and forty nights of freeclimbing Mt. Sinai for out of Pharoh's carabiners was he. And especially sweet were they, each bearing carvings of scarabs and pyramids and mummys and other cool shit like that.

     ⁵ Moses ordered the golden calf melted down and pimp-slapped his brother for his coruscating transgression. "Thou shalt not melt me down," sayeth the cow. "No! Stop it! Stop it at once, I sayeth!" said the cow. But melted down it was for Moses had commanded it and also the wives and daughters wanted their earrings and bracelets back for it is better for a woman to have her own jewelry than to give it all to a man, no matter the fineness of his pimpcoat. Amen.

Here's a screenshot of a Twine game I've been working on...

Finally! A game that will meet all my Martinizing needs!

Also

Spoiler

Why can't I take the sock, Stu? Why?? A lifetime of adventure gaming has taught me that inventory is life!

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Oh noes, Ben! If you update your site, then what excuse do I have to keep neglecting mine?

Spoiler

Good essay, btw.

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