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I think the way that the room was darkened has simply dulled it. You could probably do a better job of darkening it up.

There's nothing more creepy than an ugly wall paper.

The peeling of the wallpaper is badass in that last iteration, but the top left peel feels weird.

The stain is GENIUS! I love it, it makes me just wonder about it... great effect.

The mirror: it sees like you could do more with this. Maybe the whole thing is cracked, like someone punched it.

The sink area works better with two sinks.

The painting feels a little bland.

The grime is a nice touch. I've got two suggestions; remove the line behind the painting and have some of the grime drip down a little more.


I can't wait to see what you do next.

I don't really understand why you've redrawn theat character as pixel art. It worked well the way you had it. I think you should practice with pixel art but for this time around, until you're proficient, the art style you had was real good.

I'm definately going to say the red one, too. The Blue is too dark andthe yellowish face feels silly.

I'm not sure why you put a pixelation filter over those sprites...

Anyways, the faces could use a little more definition. When they're at the sizes you said would most likely be "in-game" it's very difficult to make them out, with the exception of the chef.

I really dig the cat, the dog still seems weird for some reason and half of the people have their hands in their pockets! lol

Someone doesn't like drawing hands...

It will be much easier to animate the characters without hands in their pockets.

In all honesty Indie Anna Boy, how long would it take you to finish the sprite. It's a weekend so maybe you can squeeze it in. What tdo you think?

Screenname: Questionable
Real: Adrick

Age: 19

Female/male: Male

1. How long have you been involved in the AGS community?
Good question. Technically a couple of months; although I was a lurker and I've been messing with AGS for almsot a year now.

2. Why did you get involved in AGS?
After experimenting with AGS, I found that it was a perfect outlet for the stories I write and a good way to spend my spare time when I was stuck at home recovering from an auto accident.

3. How do you feel that the fact that AGS is a freeware program affect the community that has built up around it?
Pay products will generally have a smaller following over free products when the quality of content is identical. If there was a competitor to AGS and the features were identical, would you buy it? Only if you were ignorant to AGS existence. I believe that the fact AGS is free allows this community the flexability to grow and wane without affecting the product, as well. If a pay product does not have a significant enough following the prouct will be abandoned or forced to change.

4. How big a part does the AGS community play in your life?
I'm not sure how this can be quantified, but creating narratives and engaging gameplay and art has soaked up may hours of my times so far and I don't regret and minute of it, I suppose it plays THAT big of a part! =P

5. Have you been involved in making any games using AGS?
None that have been played by anyone on here.

6. Answer these questions if you have been involved in making AGS games:

a. Were you interested in game design/programming before you started using AGS?
I'm attending a Design College currently with a focus on Game Art and Animation. But programming? That's too technical for me.

b. If no, do you feel that you would have got into game design without AGS?
---

c. Do you make games using other programmes, either freeware or not? How does the experience differ?
I haven't used anything else to make compose a game, although I use many tools to make a game with AGS.

d. Has AGS inspired you to try and take up game design professionally?
Perhaps, it depends on life more than AGS, though.

7. Do you feel that there is a gender divide in the AGS community?
No.

8. Are you likely to feel differently about a game if you discover it's made by a female? In what way?
No.

9. Do you feel that AGS makes it easier for females to get involved in computer game design? In what way?
I believe it simplies it for both genders.

10. Do you feel that there is a difference between the types of games created by males and females?
I think that the personality of the individual is probably more influential than the gender of the person.

11. Any other comments?
No.

I like the way that you made the carpet!

Aaaanyways, as far as I can tell there is only one light source and it's directly above the sink, which makes my eyes wonder why there is no shadow on the bottom half of the sink. The small part of the room to the left seems like you could do a little more with it, otherwise you mind as well just put a door there.

That's really it, it's pretty unique, pretty original, pretty, er- pretty. I like it. It seems a little small but, if that will work in the game with the characters then it is fine. It's good, good job!

Yeah, well, sorry. No game from me. I finished the intro and the first puzzle, then real life sort of intervened.

Ditto, sorry.

Never underestmate the sexiness of Lobster Claws...

Cincy isn't boring if you'e single, it's hidden. Unless you knowwhat to do, there is absolutely nothing to do. Took me about two years before I found out where to go to have a good time in Cincy... Now I am no longer single either, though. Heh-

I think this is supposed to be a prison. If it is, I wonder why a prison has a rickety wooden door as an entrance and if not then what is it?

Anyways. I can't see anything new in the second picture you posted. Maybe it's just me. Everything looks really empty though... like this building is in the middle of the desert. I'm at work so I just did a quick  minute edit but I would like to see MORE, basically.



I added some lines in the side walk. I added a sniper tower in the courtyard (assuming this is some sort of security hold or prison.) I added a second building and wall and I put in the detroit skyline behind it all. Put more stuff in the image. It's like a phone with no cool features... sure you can call on it but that's lame these days.

One loast thing, that front wall looks a little small, one guy on anothers shoulders could jump over that barbed wire.

ANYWHO, i'll post more and probably spend some time on that picture once I get home.

“Get down from there!”

“You told me she was dead! I trusted yo-“ His voice breaks.

“She IS dead, that is not your daughter! And, killing yourself will not resurrect her soul, that body is taken! Taken by… something damned. She cannot be saved Bael, not where she is.”

“In death I might rescue her! Does she deserve to writhe? Would you have me abandon my blood?! I can think of no faster way to die than be torn apart by these gears; I have been from her for far too long old friend. No longer can I wait.”

“Would you kill me to suffer eternally by her side?! You will destroy the engine and strand us here! Where is here? Floating 12,000 leagues from the nearest port… Those of us not cooked by the steam will die slow and gruesome, abandoned and starving! So you can rot?! You would be trapped by death even if she is not bound!”

His jaw quivers. And, he squints. “You do not know… I,” He lurches and collapses, knees hitting the iron grate. He vomits, gripping the grate as if the world had spun itself upside down. He shuts his eyes to force the tears from the rims of his lids. “Fifteen years I have suffered the thought of killing her.”

A hand on his shoulder turns him from the catwalk. Looim bends to his knees. He stares into Looim’s eyes and the retreating sobs overcome him. Looim embraces him. “She was all I had of Sara, Looim. The days I thought of murdering myself cannot be be numbered… you do not know.”

“Protect your memories of them both and live on. We fight so those who may suffer as you have, do not. You started for redemption, you do not need it. I ask you to fight now for vengeance. Fight Azraiel for vengeance.”

“I will not give up on her Looim, but I will fight. Please, leave me here. I see that death is a fool’s way, I will fight.
Looim stood, taking Bael's hand he tugged, “No, I must sit.”

Looim rested his hand on Bael's shoulder for a moment before turning. He listened to the clink of boots on iron as Looim descended the stairs from the catwalk. Bael studied the massive churning engine, steam gasping from piping at times, “When vengeance is fulfilled, perhaps we shall meet then.”

Okay fine!   New one; Angry Gods.

The shading the jacket feels weird to me and I think his left arm (the one on the right side) is too far out from his body. Other than that the progression is good.

I think that you got too wordy. As an actor yourself know that there are rules for exposition. Never assume the audience is stupid, because stupid people don't go and see the types of things that stupid shouldn't see.

In the end I find myself back at my desk, wondering what part of the last few days was real...

As was mentioned previously, the position he is in looks quite uncomfortable. Art isn't the big issue right now though as you've stated. I believe that you are interesting in the blocking of the frame however.  When I read this text and looked at the picture it made sense, when I read the whole storyboard and then looked with a critics eye at the frame it seemed like this could be improved by having a 3/4 view of his face, he's smoking a cigarette and looking out the window.

"In the end, I always find my self back at my desk, wondering; what part of the last few days was real..."

Frame zooms out to a full view of the room, he's still looking out the window. A fan spins lazily around the dark room and a green shaded lamp sits on a plain desk. The skyline is beautiful.

"...and in some cases, what part of my life."

The rest of the text is superfluous.

Next frame, same shot as the last. Now his head is turned towards his desk. A glint shining off a bottle of Scotch in a liquor basket.

"It's been a while since I've had thoughts like this... without a drink./sober."

We see a close up of his the scotch pouring into the glass.

"Am I a man in control of his destiny?"

Close up of a glass to lips, ready to sip.

"If not, then who does control me?"

A door with writing on it, we see the silhoutte of a hand through a pane of frosted glass.
*TAP TAP TAP*

3/4 shot. We see mostly his back. Sitting at his desk, left hand clutching an undisturb glass of scotch. A silhoutte in the window at the door, his head turned to face the shadow invading it's ethereal glow.

"But then maybe, just maybe, fate doesn't deal from the botom of the deck..."

Same shot, his head is cocked back, left arm raised. Glass draining into his mouth.

"...and destiny lets everybody have a roll of the dice."

Same shot. He's no longer at his desk. An empty glss sits on it. He's at the door, it's open and his hand strays o the knob. We again only see his back and standing  front of him we see a gorgeous woman head slightly cocked and a look of subtle exasperation and relief.

"Well in that case..."

Exterior frame, we see the dim light from his office outlining a man and a woman facing each other, through his window.

"We're all given a fair chance, on..."


...THE HARD STREETS OF REALITY


This is how I pictured it in my head after revising the dialogue.

I know exactly where that is, my sister had her baby there. How did they like it? It's more of a town for 50+ people, although the areas around the universities are pretty cool.

Good job Ryan!

Miguel: I'm in the same boat, he he he.

Buckethead: Huh, didn't even realize the names. Nice spot!

There is a general sense of curve t the whole space station like it's a giant doughnut floating in space. What I mean about making it more coherent with the rest of the style is that you use a lot of curves, the oval doors, the tube like corridor, the round outline of the lever room, the round evelvators, even rounded shadowing on the wall; there's a lot of curves about the place and then there is this super straight text. Maybe try to transform it a bit, give it a bit of a blur, whatever.

I did this mostly to give you ideas not as how I actually want it to look.
Changes: I moved the door more to the center because the space to the right of it felt empty, then I moved the text to directly above the door, rotated it a few degrees to match the bow of the door and then change dthe perspective to smalleron the right hand side a bit. There still felt like too much empty space so I put in a room monitor, not exactly sure what it couldbe used for, maybe to clue the user in on the puzzle, maybe as a savepoint, dunno. Anyways, now that I have the computer there I could probably have moved the door back to it's original position, but it was too much work to move it over, so...

Everything works really well with the style as is and I think any changes that COULD be made would effect the style of it all, the one thing I might suggest is that you make the text on the wall in the levers room more coherent with the rest of your styl, it just feels a little out of place. Other than that, everything is very nice.

Is there anywhere else you can host that Emerald? It's asking me to register and I don't really feel like it.